Later that night, when all was quiet again, Chandler came out of the bedroom to throw away the food container.

After leaving the kitchen, he went to the sofa and knelt down beside Joey. He raised up the cushion to check whether Joey was sleeping.

He wasn't. "Chandler?"

"I'm sorry, Joe. I shouldn't have made so much noise. I tried to shush her, but she doesn't know how loud her voice can be."

Joey just shrugged and asked, "No more tonight?"

"Nope. She's asleep now, and I won't wake her up again."

"Good."

Chandler started to get up, but then he paused. "You okay, Joe? Want some aspirin or something? I can go look in the medicine cabinet."

"No, no I'm good."

"How about a blanket?"

"No." He rolled to face the sofa's back, but shivered involuntarily.

Chandler got up and went looking for a closet with blankets. He found an old quilt, and he brought it back, putting it on Joey.

Joey thanked him, but looked sad.

"Goodnight, Joe. I hope you feel better in the morning."

The next morning, Valentine's Day, Chandler dressed and immediately checked to see whether Joey had vomited. Joey hadn't, so Chandler smiled and sat next to him, feeling Joey's forehead. "Want some water?"

"I-yeah." Anything to get Chandler to go and not touch him.

Lorraine made coffee while Chandler filled a glass of water. Janice disappeared for a moment, then gave Chandler a present. He was surprised to see it was a bunch of candy hearts.

Janice read the personalized message, "Chan and Jan forever."

Chandler looked at them in shock, and Janice kissed him. "Uh, thanks," he said nervously, then covered by picking up Joey's glass of water. "For Joey." He returned to the couch and helped Joey sit up to drink it.

"I'm okay," Joey protested, but Chandler whispered to him urgently, "She ordered special candy!"

"What?" he was confused.

"Chan and Jan forever." Chandler was near to panicking. "How do I get out of this?"

In the kitchen, Janice was making breakfast with Lorraine and laughing. Chandler winced.

Joey said, "Chandler, last night, you liked her. You wanted her."

"Yeah but that was before she started talking about commitment and forever." He did not do well with long-term relationships. "Maybe she'll want me to say I love her."

Joey realized Chandler was going to dump her again. "You can't do this to her. You've dumped her three times already."

"I know, I just-" He was shaking. "I wish I had a cigarette."

Joey sat up fully, and touched his shoulder soothingly.

Janice called from the kitchen, "Chandler, honey, come on. Let Joey sleep it off."

"No, uh, he needs some aspirin."

"No, he needs coffee." Lorraine started to pour a mug.

Chandler murmured, "Maybe I can fake it for now. For one more date, then tomorrow..."

Joey looked from Chandler, to Lorraine approaching, to Janice in the kitchen putting candy hearts on pancakes for Chandler, and then he made a sudden decision.

He grabbed Chandler's face and kissed him hard on the mouth.

Lorraine screamed and spilled the coffee. Janice looked up and gasped too.

Chandler only paused the kiss to sigh in surprise. "Joe?"

Joey pushed the quilt aside and announced to the women, "Sorry I lied about high school, but me and Chandler were... not just friends. Now we're getting back together."

Lorraine stared wide-eyed. "You mean, last night, something...? Oh God."

Janice turned to Chandler desperately, "Is this true?"

Chandler nodded and took Joey's hand. "I'm sorry."

"Oh Chandler!" she cried and dropped the candy hearts.

Lorraine would have thrown coffee on them if she had any in her mug. Instead she scowled and rushed to Janice's side.

Joey stood up with Chandler and they hurried out of there. They got in a cab and Joey gave Chandler's address to the driver.

Chandler was still holding his hand as they drove away.

Joey said, "I'm sorry I did that. I couldn't think of anything else."

Chandler frowned and let go of his hand. "Oh."

Joey continued, "I just, I thought if she thought you were gay, she might give up, you know?"

"Right."

"You don't mind?"

Chandler considered it, then asked, "You don't mind about Lorraine?"

Joey shrugged. "She already heard about Vinnie and me."

"But she's not gonna make up with you now. Not after what we did to Janice."

"No, I guess not."

Chandler smiled and said, "Let me make you breakfast at my place."

They returned to Chandler's apartment, but found Ross moping with Marcel. "Your date went bad?"

"Worse!" Ross explained that he and his date ran into Carol and Susan at the restaurant. Susan had to leave for a work emergency, so Ross invited Carol to join them. Ross's date left, and he asked Carol to come back to him. "But she said no. She's still a lesbian."

Chandler sighed. "You knew that already Ross. It's been a year."

"But we were together seven years. Seven years!"

Joey thought maybe he should go, but Chandler held onto his hand. "No, um, you have to meet my friends. Ross, this is Joey."

Ross greeted him, but really wasn't paying attention to anything but his grief.

"And that's Marcel. You should meet Monica and Rachel too, Joe. Come on. Ross, did you tell them yet about last night?"

So Ross reluctantly followed them, but made Marcel stay behind.

They knocked on Monica's door and she answered. Monica immediately noticed her brother's state. "Ross, what's wrong?"

So they came in, and Ross explained his encounter with Carol. He sat on the couch, while the others gathered around or made coffee for him.

Chandler was pleased to see Phoebe was here as well. Apparently all the girls had some boyfriend bonfire last night. Phoebe said, "It totally changed our luck. We got dates with three hunky firemen."

"That's good. Hey Pheebs, this is my friend Joey."

"Oh hi."

"And that's Rachel and Monica."

"Hi." Joey still felt a little uncomfortable intruding on an emotional, private moment.

Chandler pulled him aside and whispered, "You wanna go now?"

"Yeah," Joey agreed with relief. So he said his goodbyes and walked out with Chandler. They shut the door, and Joey said, "Uh, so I'll call you?"

Chandler wouldn't let him go, though, pulling him across the hall. "No, Joe, I haven't made you breakfast yet."

"I don't need-"

"No, Joe, I insist." So they returned to the other apartment, and Chandler made Joey sit at the kitchen counter while he poured some cereal and juice for him. He even handed a banana to Marcel, before turning back to Joey.

"If you want, you can stay and have a shower," Chandler offered. "I probably need one too."

Joey noticed that Chandler was looking at him oddly, and it was distracting. He looked away and coughed.

"That's okay. Me and Lorraine didn't..."

"Well then maybe you wanna use my toothbrush? Ross wouldn't share."

Joey shrugged and started to eat his bowl of cereal. Chandler moved and took the barstool right next to him. In fact, he was rather too close and nudging their legs together.

"Joe," he said softly. "I wish you'd come visit me, or let me go to Cookie's house to see you. I miss you."

Joey said, "Well, I, um... Hey, why didn't you tell me your friends were hot, Chandler?"

"You mean Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel?"

"Yeah. You should be seeing one of them, not Janice."

Chandler shook his head. "No, it's impossible to get those girls, Joe. I thought about going after Rachel once, since Ross wouldn't do anything. Maybe it would make him jealous or something. But nope, it didn't work even as a hypothetical." Chandler laughed. "In fact, I've met Rachel four times over the years and she never remembers me. She's completely stuck up and oblivious."

"Oh, that's too bad."

"For Ross," Chandler said. He touched Joey's arm. "Did you miss me too?"

Joey looked at him hesitantly. "Chandler."

"This isn't about Mary Angela, is it? She can't hold a grudge for ten years, can she?"

"Chandler."

"We could go to a Knicks game or a movie. Anything. Whatever you used to do with Vinnie... Don't you want to try?"

Joey swallowed. "I-You sure about this, Chandler? You're not gonna regret it?"

"No." Chandler pulled him close and kissed him, just as intensely as Joey had kissed him at Lorraine's apartment. "No, I'll tell Ross and everybody about us. I'll tell mom and Annie. Just be with me, please." He kissed him again.

Joey moaned and spilled the spoon out of his cereal. He put his arms around Chandler.

They kept making out, and Chandler murmured, "Let me, um, let me shower first, Joe, and then we can-"

Joey asked, "Now? Don't you want to wait for a date first?"

"I can't. I know it's right after my breakup with Janice, but... God, I've been waiting a year."

"You have?"

He nodded and kissed Joey passionately. "Yeah. Don't go." He reluctantly let go and hurried into the bathroom.

Joey stared at the door, feeling lightheaded. He listened to the shower run, and to Marcel chattering. Was this real? He glanced at their ignored cereal, and at his own arousal. Then the shoes and clothes that Chandler had dropped on his way to the bathroom.

He no longer felt his hangover, and he was breathing fast.

Suddenly the shower turned off and Chandler opened the door, not even bothering with a towel. He smiled to see that Joey hadn't run off. "Come here, Joe. This is my bedroom."

Joey stepped off the stool and stared, realizing suddenly that Chandler still had his nubbin and hadn't sliced it off after all. That made him more aroused, and he kissed Chandler again before retreating to his bedroom.

"Mmm, Joe," Chandler moaned as they got in bed. "You feel so good."

Joey kept touching his wet skin, and Chandler hurried to undress Joey too.

They met each other's eyes and recalled their one night together ten years ago, when they were boys.

Chandler confessed that in college he went with Ross to Atlantic City once and kissed a guy in a bar, "because he reminded me of you. I missed you so much."

Joey kissed him back and said that after Vinnie left him, he went to gay bars for a while, but he stopped going, because he realized he wanted Chandler.

"Oh, Joe. Then why'd you make me chase you? Were you punishing me?"

"I thought you didn't want me. That you'd be better off with Ross."

"Ross?" he laughed, then looked more serious. "He isn't you. Nobody's you."

Joey kissed him again.

They were still making love when Ross returned to the apartment and found Marcel eating from the abandoned cereal bowls. He had just spotted the clothes on the floor when he heard the sounds coming from Chandler's bedroom. Sex? How could Chandler have possibly picked up a girl this morning after just getting home? Then he heard Joey's voice.

"Chandler!" He enjoyed being just as loud as Janice had been. The bed rocked forcefully under them.

Ross was shocked, and he rushed back across the hall to inform the girls. They didn't believe him until they too eavesdropped, then they gasped and left again.

"Oh my God."

Phoebe giggled, "Ha, knew he had a gay quality!"

Monica asked, "Who's this Joey guy? The same one Chandler talks about all the time?"

"Yeah the one from high school."

Rachel asked, "Have they been dating all this time, secretly?"

Monica shrugged. "I don't know. Wait, what about Janice and all those other girlfriends?"

"Yeah," Rachel looked confused. "That's weird."

Ross asked, "What should we do? Pretend we didn't hear anything?"

"I guess so, unless he mentions it."

"But he brought Joey over today. He wanted us to know."

"He didn't actually say."

Monica checked her watch. "Never mind. We've gotta all get to work. We'll discuss when we get home."

"Okay." So everybody scattered.

Ross felt embarrassed to return to his apartment while Joey and Chandler were still doing it, but he forced himself to. He cleaned up after Marcel, then left for the museum.

When Joey and Chandler finally exhausted themselves, they lay back on the bed.

"That was amazing," Chandler sighed breathlessly. "Maybe I should call in sick to work and stay here all day."

Joey shook his head. "I better get back to Cookie's house before they worry about me."

"Oh, okay." He kissed him. "I wish you could move in with me, Joe."

"You can't kick Ross out."

"I guess not. Or maybe I'll let him have the apartment and get a place with you?"

"What, and let the monkey have your room?"

Chandler laughed with him. "I gotta tell them first. I guess I'll call them from work, and then you can come by and meet them for real tonight."

"Sure." Joey got up and reached for a robe. "Chandler, are you gonna tell your dad too?"

"My dad? Oh." He sat up. "You mean, make up with him?"

"Yeah."

"I did, Joey. A couple of months ago, 'cause I needed his advice on what I was doing wrong to win you back."

Joey was happy. "That's good."

"Yeah. He'll probably invite us to come see him in Vegas."

Joey laughed. "Maybe we'll visit Vinnie too."

Chandler smiled. "Happy Valentine's Day, Joe."

"Happy Valentine's Day."

Chandler got out of bed and came toward him. "Maybe we can share a shower before you go?"

Joey nodded and they hurried to the bathroom together.

So later that afternoon, Joey was introduced properly to the gang, and Chandler enjoyed calling Joey his boyfriend now, instead of just his old friend from high school. There was some embarrassment when Phoebe mentioned that they'd overheard the sex this morning, but they managed to laugh it off.

Then Joey and Chandler left for their Valentine's Day date. The girls felt sorry for Janice to be dumped so many times, so they decided to send her flowers.

They also had their dates with their three firemen, only to discover that the firemen were married or had girlfriends already. Clearly their luck had not changed for the better.

Ross would sometimes hang out with Joey and Chandler at Knicks games or other stuff that they specifically didn't want to be alone for, but he still felt like a third wheel.

He also found Chandler looking into advertisements for apartments and he realized that he wanted to live with Joey. Ross decided to make it easier on them and to move out with Marcel. It was time that he got over Carol and moved on, whether with Rachel or somebody else. Fortunately, he was able to get a place nearby, and he didn't get phased out of the group.

Ross finally asked out Rachel, and she was surprised, especially given his recent moping over Carol. She agreed so long as she knew she wasn't a Carol-substitute.

"No, come on, Rach. You knew I liked you back in high school too."

"Yeah, and you want us to be like another couple from high school?"

"Maybe. Do you wanna hear some songs I wrote for you?" So Ross got out his keyboard and played for her "Emotional Knapsack."

She did her best to be polite about Ross's so-called music, but afterward she had to gossip with Monica about it. No matter what Rachel said, they all wanted to hear the mysterious "sound" as well, only to regret it. Only Phoebe really liked it, and she and Ross bonded over it. That made it easier for Rachel to gently let Ross down and say that she preferred to remain just friends.

Ross got over it by writing more songs, and he also had to give Marcel away to a zoo. But he was happy about Carol giving birth to Ben, and not long after, Ross met a great girl named Julie during a trip to China.

Monica and Rachel soon had more luck in their careers than their love lives. Monica got promoted to chef at the restaurant and Rachel decided to quit waitressing to go into fashion. Phoebe meanwhile found out about her half-brother Frank Jr. as well as her birthmother Phoebe Abbott. These discoveries were shocking and upsetting at first, but she soon learned to love her family much better than her twin sister Ursula.

Meanwhile, Joey and Chandler stayed together and even visited the Tribbianis in Queens to clear the air of secrets. Mary Angela was quite surprised, but fortunately she was happy herself now, and forgave them. She had often wondered why Joey didn't seriously date another guy after Vinnie.

Chandler eventually found that, unlike with Janice, he had no trouble contemplating spending forever with Joey.

The End

[At last it's done! Thanks for your patience guys.

According to flashbacks, Chandler has been introduced to Rachel four times, Thanksgivings 1987 and 1988, the college Winter Break party in 1988, the 1993 flashback, and the Pilot episode.

Assume that Monica does eventually get married to Richard or Pete, or whoever, and that they do have kids someday. I felt bad for Janice, and thought about pairing her off with Ross or Phoebe or even Gunther, but I can't decide. I also didn't know whether Rachel ought to end up with Joshua or not. So let's leave it open-ended and just say that people were happy and did find love.]