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IMPORTANT/FUTURE OF STORY:
Lately, I have been thinking of discontinuing my fics.
I just haven't been in a writing mood lately. Every time I start, I get discouraged and sidetracked. I'm either using my time for my artwork, or I'm working on my original stories, and I find myself just wanting to stop fanficiton.
At first I was just planning of going on a hiatus, but the more I think about it, the more I like the idea of just stopping. But I will not be deleting my stories off the site or off my computer, for I may comeback one day. But until then...it was nice writing for you.
Courtney
Chp. 9 To Be a Butterfly
Alive, but different.
That, she was sure of. After all those years inside the plant, something had changed.
The plant itself was the same as always. Warm, dark, slimy, with a sickly sweet smell. After years of immobility, the plant was the same. It was she, who was different. That she was sure, but what was different? She didn’t know.
One thing to change was her acceptance of being inside this plant forever. She didn’t fight anymore. She just…was. But that wasn’t what was different. Something else was different, not wrong, for it felt right…just different.
Maybe it wasn’t her, but the world outside her plant prison, or was it home now? But it was the world outside that felt different. She sensed something different in it. It was familiar, yet she had a new awareness of it. Something new to her that had always been there.
Maybe that was it. Maybe that was the difference.
No.
No, that wasn’t it. It was her. She was different. She felt the same, just different. A need.
Need?
Did she need something? Someone? Was that the difference? Was there a need now that hadn’t been there?
Inuyasha.
Did she need Inuyasha?
Yes. She needed Inuyasha? But that wasn’t new. She always needed Inuyasha, just differently now.
Protect?
Did she need Inuyasha to protect her?
No. She didn’t want Inuyasha the protector. No. She wanted Inuyasha the man. Was that the difference?
Yes. And she wasn’t ashamed of it anymore. No. She had always wanted the hanyou, just never thought it right to think of him that way. Was that the difference?
Yes.
Was her innocence gone?
No.
No, but that was the difference.
Her innocence was not gone, just different. She was different. She didn’t care about how or what she wanted. She wanted Inuyasha. She wanted him more than she ever had.
Why?
Why did she want him more now?
Because he wasn’t there.
Yes. Because he wasn’t around. She laughed. The action causing bubbles to issue from her mouth. Disrupting the gel-like substance of her home. Yes. Her home.
Inuyasha.
Her Inuyasha.
Why did she want him more when he wasn’t around?
Why?
‘Kikyo.’
Another difference. Yes. She could feel it. Something else was different…about her.
‘Because you’ll never be as good as Kikyo.’
I’ll never be Kikyo.
‘Kikyo was never like you.’
No. She wasn’t, and she’ll ever be as good as Kikyo.
‘Just a copy. Never be as good as the original.’
Wrong. Not a copy, but still never be as good as Kikyo.
Kikyo was the best…at being Kikyo.
Kikyo was a great priestess.
She wasn’t Kikyo. She’ll never be as good as Kikyo, because Kikyo was the best at being herself. She wasn’t Kikyo.
She was Kagome. Kikyo could never be Kagome.
Kikyo could never be as good as Kagome.
Kagome was the best at being Kagome.
No one could out do her at being it.
Who was Kagome?
She was Kagome.
Kagome was a great Kagome.
The one and only.
Another difference.
What was it? It wasn’t her.
Outside. Outside her home.
No.
Her home was different.
But what? How was her home now different?
Light. There was light inside her dark home. There hadn’t been light for years, yet it didn’t hurt her eyes.
Her world dropped out from beneath her and she fell into the light. She didn’t care.
“Took you long enough.” A voice said from above. But she paid it no attention.
Falling from her home she found her self on a wooden platform.
No.
A giant tree branch. She was kneeling on a giant tree branch, but she didn’t care. Around her, she could feel it pressing against her, the difference she had sensed inside her old home.
She could see her hands, she hadn’t seen them in ages, and she was fascinated by them. They were covered in the clear, gel-like substance of her former home, much like the rest of her body.
Her body.
Her naked body, but she didn’t care.
She touched her hair; let it slip from her fingers.
Just as she remembered it, only now it wasn’t black, but a dark green.
“Hey girl!” the voice shrieked, making her cringe. “Pull yourself together!”
She heard it coming. A swishing through the air. A movement through the difference of the world.
She caught it.
“No.” she said with her voice.
Her voice. She hadn’t heard it in years. It sounded different.
“No what?” she heard the other voice ask.
“My name…it’s not girl. It’s…Kagome.”
“Good…” Kira said with a grunt as she hoisted Kagome onto her feet. . “Now that we have that settled, let’s get you cleaned up and dressed. I want have you walking around like one of those damn, brainless nymphs.” Now she began to pull Kagome towards the trunk of the tree, back to the compounds of her home.
Kagome let her; she couldn’t do much else but let her. She was too busy staring in wonder at everything, she feel of everything, and the smell. Looking behind her, Kagome saw the tattered remains of her former home.
It was a massive, white, dried up cocoon. Damn she would miss it. So with one last remorseful look, she turned her attention to the being pulling at her elbow.
She was small and frail, long white hair pulled into a braid, and wearing a simple forest green kimono. She had a sour expression that seemed permanently etched into her old wrinkled face, and she had a pair of vibrant green eyes that seemed way too young and glossy for someone so old and mean looking. She walked with a staff in her hand, but she guessed it was just for show for she didn’t lean on it or use it to guide herself. She just simply carried it along. The frailty of her body must have been an illusion, for the grip that she had on Kagome’s elbow was anything but.
Before she knew, Kagome found herself in sudden darkness, but after taking a second to catch her bearings she realized they had entered the compound of the great tree.
Kagome let the old lady steer her past the cavern that was the inside of her tree. The lady led her up a pair of stairs and down a hall that held many rooms, all closed off with different colored furs.
They stopped in front of one of those said doorways. This one was draped off with a red-brown fur. Here the demon woman let go of her arm.
Kagome waited with patience. She busied herself by looking around. The torches especially caught her attention.
“Its pixie dust,” the woman snapped irritably.
Kagome wasn’t sure why she was so angry, so she just let her rant; she had better things to do.
“Well…am I going to have to bathe you or can you do it yourself?” the little woman growled angrily.
“…I can bathe myself.” Kagome answered her placidly.
“Good!” the woman snapped, “Your room is down the hall with the white fur. Your clothes will be in there waiting for you. Put them on then come down stairs.” The lady told her forcefully before turning on her heel and storming off down the hall, muttering about stupid wolves.
Sputtering and getting water out of her eyes, Kagome found herself in a fine, luxurious, wooden bathroom. Wooden and mossy.
The bathing pool she had woken in was a perfect circle and in the middle of the pool, a wooden column rose and connected to the ceiling. A shelf was carved into the column and held soaps and bottles of some unknown substances that gave off pleasant scents, and other bath necessities.
Shelves were carved into the walls as well and held cloths and furs.
With confusion clearly written on her face, and a complete lack of time, Kagome hopped out of the water and wrapped a towel around herself. More like, wrapped a fur around herself.
While the events that had taken place were fuzzy to her, she did remember Lady Kira pointing out a room to her. So following the directions, that she could remember, she found herself at a room, draped close with a white fur. The inside of the room looked similar to the one she had awoken to that first day, except for a few differences. Sunlight poured in through a single, large window in the shape of a circle. The room contained one bed. The frame seemed to grow straight from the floor, with a handmade mattress, made from cloth sewn together and stuffed. The bed was covered with a white, spotted fur, the same pattern as the lone pillow.
On the bed, folded neatly, lay a plain, blue garb.
Besides the bed, a small table occupied the room, and surrounding on all sides, were shelves leveled into the wood.
A bleating outside brought her out of her reverie and she remembered that she was standing there naked.
“What’s wron…?” Kagome began only to be interrupted by Lady Kira’s harsh command to sit down.
Sighing aloud, Kagome hastily flitted down the stairs and sat down next to the old grouch. An uncomfortable silence followed of which Kagome looked at everything from the grouchy demoness staring at her, to the bowl of leaves on the table, to the massive windows of which goats had gathered beneath.
“I don’t know where to begin.” Lady Kira suddenly laughed, causing Kagome to jump.
“Ma’am?”
“I honestly don’t know where to begin, girl…”
“Kagome.” She corrected her instantly, for which she earned a small, quick smile.
“At least you have a back bone…but as for taking up my name, you’re poor off and I can’t decide what to teach you first. I’m a plant demon, I rule with an iron fist and I’m a sorceress, you’re a rookie wolf demon, with no sorceress powers or knowledge of plants…that’s what’s working against us. On the other hand, I haven’t been seen in quite some time and you’re young and powerful, and I’m strong of mind and I will teach you what I know or you will die trying. So where do I start? Do I teach you about plants, how to fight, nobility, politics, how to be ruthless, how to keep your cool, or how to…SHUT IT UP ALREADY!”
“Excuse me?” Kagome asked as she backed up with a weary eye.
“No not you.” Kira snapped at her, grunting as she hoisted herself up and bounded over to the window. “I’M TALKING TO YOU, YOU INGRATES! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HERE, GO BACK TO WHERE YOU COME FROM!” she yelled angrily, making the bleating outside the window stop. For a second, then they were back at it.
“WHAT! HOW DARE YOU, YOU LITTLE BASTARDS! I HAVE NO CHILDREN!”
Curiosity got the better of her, Kagome had to witness the crazy old woman, yelling at the goats, but as she got to the window, she gasped in delight to find every little girls dream. About a dozen unicorns. On catching sight of her, they went berserk. Screaming and bleating loudly, as they jumped and galloped in circles, swinging their manes and flashing their horns at her.
“Great, now they’ve seen you. Get back!” Kira grumbled pushing Kagome away from the window. “DOWN YOU PERVS! YOU CAN’T HAVE HER! SHE DOESN’T NEED A BUNCH OF MOLESTERS AROUND...WHAT…LEAVE MY MOTHER OUT OF THIS...HOW BOUT I SAW THOSE HORNS OFF AND USE THEM TO SCRUB MY FEET!...THAT’S VERY KIND OF YOU, BUT I’D RATHER NOT HAVE ANYTHING STUCK UP THERE!”
The shouting went on and on, back and forth, non-stop screaming and bleating, with Kagome hopping around trying to catch sight of the magnificent beasts once more. It all ended when Lady Kira threw a rock at them and they threw it back, before galloping off bleating loudly, which, sounded a lot like laughter.
“Traitorous beasts.” Kira muttered as she pushed pass Kagome and sat back down at the table.
“What are you smiling about?” she asked as Kagome sat back down with a large smile on her face.
“I’ve never seen unicorns before. I thought they were make believe.”
“No, they’re as real as they come…just not all their cracked up to be.”
“What’s your beef with the unicorns?”
“Beef?” Lady Kira asked with a confused look.
“Umm…I mean problem. What’s your problem with the unicorns?”
“They’re traitorous asses!” Lady Kira snapped obviously. “Now let’s get back to business. First off, I will tell you that I’ve fixed your curses. And before you get excited, I said fixed, not broken you curses. You will not be turning anymore…as long as you stay within my lands. The other curse about killing your friends if you contact them, whatever, yada yada, it’ll only be effective until you shed blood, which, I promise, you will. For your part of the bargain you will learn to fight, manipulate magic, tend my land and crops, keep order, you will learn to be independent, you will gain a spiritual weapon, and bond a beast.”
“Bond…bond a beast?”
“It’s not required of you, but it’ll help, but we have more important things to do than talk about silly beasts.”
“Like what?” Kagome dared ask.
“Like you telling me your story.”
“Huh?”
“Your story, girl, tell me your story. You don’t seem like anything special to me, why have you been cursed, where are your parents, any siblings, I need to know you, before I throw you through the grinder.”
“O-Kay.” Kagome began slowly. “Where do you want me to begin?”
“The beginnings always a good place to start.”
“Alright…um…my father died a little while after my brother was born and…”
“I am!” Kagome snapped back, rubbing her head and turning to face the old lady once again. Truth is; she wasn’t. Every since leaving Kira’s tree, of which Kagome had to jump from branch to branch when Kira was carried down by them, the unicorns had been secretly tailing them making Kagome giddy and distracted.
After Kagome had told Kira her story, minus the well, being from the future, and the shikon, which she hoped was safe with the rest. Kira was silent for a second, looking to Kagome as if she was judging if it was true or not, before announcing that she would teach Kagome about plants first. Or attempt to teach plants first, but mixing a young girl with unicorns was the recipe for trouble.
“Hm.” Kira muttered as she looked pass Kagome to the hiding equines. Scowling angrily at them, she watched with a satisfied smirk as a tree suddenly flank one on the rear, making them all gallop off in fright.
“That’ll keep them away for a while.” Kira humped victoriously before rounding on a wide-eyed Kagome. “Don’t just stand there gawking girl, come over here and identify the poisonous mushrooms.
“But…but the tree…it…it moved.”
“Yes and they’ll hit you too if you don’t do as I say.”
With a sorrowful last look to where the unicorns had been and nervous glances to all the trees surrounding, Kagome grudgingly did as Kira demanded and picked out as many poisonous mushrooms she could, which ended up being two. To say the least, Kira was not pleased.
“You see this,” Kira screeched, shoving the mushroom into Kagome’s face, “you left this! This is poisonous!”
“Well how am I supposed to know?” Kagome screeched back. “I’ve never studied plants before!”
“Well if you’ve been paying attention instead of playing with those horned bastards, then you would know that the white mushroom, with the green stalks and black seeds are poisonous if they are hollow under their tops!” with her last sentence uttered, Kira smashed Kagome on the head with her staff again, knocking Kagome onto her butt.
Rubbing her head angrily, Kagome listened as Kira yelled out all the information about poisonous mushrooms again. She inwardly sighed, wishing that the time she would spend with Kira would hurry by so she could be saved from this torture.
“Are you paying attention?”
“Yes ma’am.” Kagome answered automatically.
“Good.” Kira said with satisfaction as she continued. “Now as I was saying…the difference between these identical mushrooms is that this…”
Whatever Kira was going to say next was lost to Kagome, for the next thing she knew was that the unicorn was there suddenly and Kira was sent flying into a tree.
“Lady Kira!” Kagome yelled as she hopped to her feet to check on Kira’s motionless, prone figure, not noticing how all the unicorns had now accumulated and were letting off their bleating laughter callously.
“Are you okay?” Kagome asked with genuine concern as she rolled Kira onto her back to check her over. Her reward was an angry groaning, but Kira was still out. “Oh, good.” She breathed out in relief before she felt herself lifted off the ground and onto the back of large, burly unicorn.
She had only a second’s eye contact with Kira, who had managed to crack open on eye, before the pack of unicorns took off with her, and all the worry she felt for the lady on the ground was swept away in the sheer delight of racing away on the back of a unicorn.
Spending the day with the unicorns turned out to be better than she ever dreamed. They took her racing across the land, they galloped and pranced for her, they showed her magical creatures she never thought actually existed. Fairies, nymphs, the spirits of nature, and a patch of pixies. They showed her beautiful spots that were hidden from the world, they showed her hot springs, and waterfalls, and trees that didn't bite. They laid their heads in her lap and snuggled close to her with their horns humming, creating a soothing melody.
By the time she asked them to take her back, she was exhausted and it was well past dark. They took her as far as Kira's tree, making her near bout give up as she looked at the massive tree, but the thought of spending all night in Kira's creepy, tree biting forest, was far worst than a few sore muscles.
"Well, look what the bastards drug in." a voice murmured from the dark corner of the room.
"Lady Kira." Kagome started, as she hastily, and tiredly, hustled to her feet to face the angry lady. "You’re alright."
"Yeah, no thanks to you."
"Sorry, but they snatched me..."
"I know...I saw thus far, and I also saw how you didn't mind."
"...I'm sorry. That was inexcusable what I did, but they are so...so..."
"Magnificent." Kira finished for her with a wistful look, before her face hardened with an old familiar pain. "Listen girl, I'm going to tell you something about those beasts, before you get hurt. I'm not telling you this because I like you; I'm telling you this because I don't need you moping around like an old fool. Now I want tell you if you won't listen."
"I'm listening." Kagome told her curiously.
"Hmm. But will you heed it?" Kira muttered under her breath. "Alright girlie, listen up because I'll only say this once. When I was younger, an innocent girl liker yourself, just coming into power, I bonded with the beasties out there you favor so much. And I won't allow you to follow in wake." Kira said quickly as she saw Kagome's eye light up. "We’re going to find something else for you. But like I said, I bonded with the bastards. I loved them dearly, and I thought they loved me. I devoted my life to protecting them and ensuring my lands so they and I could live in peace. But luck would have it I fell in love. Fell in love with the wrong man, who, after taking my girlhood," here Kagome flinched at the mental image, "and left me. The bastard had a mate. I was heartbroken, so I returned to my lands only to have the retched creatures call me a slut and leave me alone in my grief. The bastards. And now, smelling a new innocent girl, they've come running back. But they won't be here long if I have anything to do with it."
Kagome was silent a moment, then what Kira said finally sunk in. "What you talking about Kira?"
"That hanyou of yours, he's so far away...he's no good for what I will turn you into...and I want the bastards gone. You need a lover."
"Excuse me? I...I love...do I...yeah...I love Inuyasha. I don't want a lover...I don't want to be mated...I want my rude, obnoxious, thick headed hanyou."
"If you really love him, then getting a lover shouldn't affect it...true love knows no boundary...besides...this hanyou isn't so faithful himself...is he?"
Kagome scowled at Kira for bringing up her love life, a growl threatening to erupt from her throat.
"Don't take that type of attitude with me." Kira snapped with a smirk. "I love only one man, but took lovers. Lovers are dispensable...and being a dominant lover...it should be easier to discard them.
'No wonder the unicorns called you a slut.' Kagome thought moodily.
"Don't try to judge me girl." Kira snapped as if she heard Kagome's thoughts. "Sex has no meaning. Sex carries no love. Sex is a form of exercise, a form of sensual aggression, a game for dominance. But you do not make love to everyone. You make love to only one. You give your love to only one. Do not give your love during sex; you'll only end up making trouble."
Kagome continued to scowl.
"I'm not telling you go out and have sex with everyone. I'm telling you to reserve your love and think carefully about whom you want to give it to, and if you really think that hanyou of yours deserves it...then keep it for him. But I'm telling you now...I know of eligible, young, robust demons out there to keep you busy...I'm stubborn...and I have ways. I will get rid of those traitors if it's the last thing you do."
Kagome's growl died in her throat and she stared with fear and suspicion at the unicorn-hating old lady, who was now smiling sweetly at her.
"Now off to bed with you, young apprentice. You have a hard day ahead of you, for leaving me to die today. Instead of botany, we're going to start with some hard labor and defense training. Since you can hardly fend off those molesting unicorns, and we're going to build you up...because you are going to be busy. Now off you go." Kira said sweetly although with a wicked facade.
Kagome opened her mouth and closed it, then opened and closed it again. She couldn't find anything to say, and that look Kira was giving her was creepy. She turned on her heel and began to head towards the stairs.
She stopped and turned back and tried to object, comment, or say anything at all, but nothing came out.
Kira smiled sweetly up at her and waved her off again.
Shaking her head, she returned towards the stairs. What the hell had she gotten herself into?
'Stronger Than Yesterday' to be updated next.
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