Disclaimer: Danger Mouse and characters are property of Cosgrove/Hall productions, and I don't own them. This fiction and the characters of M6 Lori Lamoure and her assistant and other craziness the other side of the pond is my own insanity, property of me, Trynia Merin. This is the revised version as of 7/13/2008

Two of the Best and Two of the Worst

Chapter 5

By Trynia Merin

Opening Theme, as usual.

Danger Mouse, Danger Mouse… DANGERMOUSE….

When the bomb explodes over the logo, the title card is seen, with the following logo: Two of the Best and Two of the Worst, Conclusion

Narrator: In our last episode, Agent M6 and Danger Mouse were both captured by the patented Agent Snare, the evil creation of Baron Greenback and his new ally, Cam Elion-Rex. Although they managed to escape after a fierce argument, the sheer effort needed sapped M6 of her vaunted strength. However, as Greenback and Cam Elion-Rex saw to their dismay, the White Wonder was not trounced. Nevertheless, does this mean Danger Mouse must save the day alone?

Standing there with his arms folded was Danger Mouse himself. "How did you escape?"

"Surely you must know better by now then to ask such foolish questions," Danger Mouse said, holding up one finger as he strode up.

"But I saw you explode," the Baron stammered as he backed away, in his chair, Nero's eyes wide as his pet perched on his shoulder. He depressed a button on his console while Danger Mouse advanced.

"The rumors of my death were highly exaggerated," announced Danger Mouse, folding his arms across his white suited chest. "And now you're under arrest."

"I think not," Greenback laughed. Suddenly the wall moved and Danger Mouse felt someone grab him from behind.

"Let me go," he gasped as Cam Elion held him firmly pinioned with great strength.

"A little demonstration of villain vite," laughed Cam Elion. "One of my other patented evil inventions."

"I think that will be the NEXT product I market," Greenback laughed.

"You think you've won?" Danger Mouse asked slowly as he struggled. "But I say think again…"

"You always DO have a million of those lines," Greenback tisked. "Even now your assistant is doomed…"

"Guess again, slimy," said another voice as a white blur sailed over his head, and suddenly clapped a pair of cuffs on Baron Greenback's hands.

"What… you…" he stammered as she shackled him to the chair.

"Stay a while…" she smiled proudly, glancing at Danger Mouse.

"You can't be…" Cam Elion gasped.

"Oh she can," laughed DM. He ducked and wriggled out of the chameleon's gropes, before flinging his captor over his head with a well-placed judo toss. He landed against the Baron, groaning as stars and planets whirled around his head, and Lori snapped a pair of cuffs on him as well.

"The game's over Greenback and Chameleon," she said proudly.

"Well said," Danger Mouse nodded as he walked up. "And you've lost…."

"Curses," Baron Greenback groaned as he rubbed his aching head from where his new business partner had landed against it. "But you haven't won yet…"

"Don't be so sure," said the two agents, but then suddenly the Baron's desk dropped through a hole in the floor, taking both villains with it. Danger Mouse managed to knock Lori out of the way before she too fell into the trap door. They heard Greenback's laughter echoing as they vanished and made their escape.

"RATS!" Lori cursed as she let Danger Mouse help her to her feet. "Lost him again!"

"You get used to it after a while," Danger Mouse nodded with a slow shake of his head. "But wherever evil plots, good will defeat it!"

"You got that right DM," she nodded. "Now… where ARE our assistants?"

Resembling bookends both heroes stood in the exact same pose; hands resting on their hips with feet placed apart at the width of their shoulders. Their shadows angled slightly to the left under the high lights in the Baron's now abandoned control chamber. Distant footsteps grew steadily louder, and they exchanged a glance of understanding. DM smiled first, knowing from the gait just who was about to enter.

They heard the sound of two hamsters running wildly as they burst in through the door. Both panted as they glanced left and right, and saw Danger Mouse and M6 standing there, before a trap door. Turning his head Dm gasped, "Penfold! Good grief, you're all right…"

"Chief, there you are!" Penfold shouted as he rushed up and threw himself into Danger Mouse's arms. The little hamster all but tackled his boss as he hugged him hard.

"Bagel, where were you?" Lori asked as she dropped to one knee, and her friend rushed up. Bagel wrapped her arms around Lori's neck as she hugged her tightly and the two friends rocked, patting one another's backs as they were reunited.

"I was so worried, you wouldn't' believe…" Bagel chattered.

"It was awful DM," Penfold said as Danger Mouse set him down again, and patiently listened to his assistant ramble on about his misadventures.

"Steady on Penfold, we're British, remember!" he said with a laugh. "It's good to see you again… but we must restrain ourselves from emotional outbursts…"

"Oh 'eck," Penfold mumbled. Behind his thick glasses, he rolled his eyes.

"Like us Americans?" Lori laughed as she let go of her friend and the two teams looked at one another.

"You're not mad at him anymore are you?" asked Bagel as she held her friend's hand and saw Penfold shyly hiding behind Danger Mouse.

"Not at all," M6 smiled. "Come to think of it, let's all just go home…"

"But the Gail VI is all wrecked," said Bagel. "Isn't it?"

"Darn," Lori groaned.

"If you'll allow us to see you home, I'll see that Colonel K's boffins put her to rights," Danger Mouse offered as he pressed his wristwatch, and the Mark III crashed through the window, pulling into the hideout.

"But it's only a two seater," Lori laughed.

"Observe," DM said, as he depressed another switch on his watch, and the Mark III suddenly lengthened with a back seat. "I had the boffins install a backseat extension…"

"Shall we?" Lori asked Bagel as DM opened the back door, and they both climbed in. The White Wonder leapt into the driver's seat, and Penfold scrambled into the seat next to him. Pressing the button for flight, DM fired up the Mark III to take them back to London.

The Mark III, bearing Danger Mouse, Penfold and their 2 corresponding American agents landed and they entered the pillar-box in Mayfair without further incident. None had said much during the ride back, except Danger Mouse had placed a call to the local authorities to round up the remains of the Baron and Eleon-Rex's horrible inventions. It was up to them to make certain they could never be used for nefarious purposes again.

All of the respective Hench animals had fled, and the Frog's Head Flier was nowhere to be found. Danger Mouse also posted a call to Colonel K to inform him that the Baron had been thwarted and to detach a crew to retrieve M6's disabled vehicle. He assured Lori that it would be repaired forthwith.

When they sat in the Mayfair pillar-box, Penfold had made a fresh pot of tea, and gotten out some bread and butter with various other accoutrements from the well-stocked larder for tea. This was a new concept for Lori, but not unheard of for Bagel, who had quickly sprung into action helping the other assistant in the kitchen in making her specialty, some of her mother's famous chicken soup. Lori watched as Danger Mouse received the call from Colonel K for the final wrap up of the mission.

"All in all a job well done," Colonel K said as Danger Mouse and Lori Agent M6 stood on respective sides of the view screen. "A cracking good partnership between British and American secret service. That'll show them what."

"Have you heard from JP? I need to contact him," said Lori.

"Already been in touch. He's so impressed by your performance that he's recommending that you remain in England with your assistant, in a special training program. Sort of a brain exchange with the boffins and new recruits as to the way the Americans do things."

"If it's all the same, I wouldn't mind going home," Lori nodded.

"That and the matter of the motorcar. JP said that until it's repaired, you're stuck here. Also, our master of disguise Agent 57 reported he saw the Frogs Head Flier heading somewhere up north around Scotland. Best guess is that they're still in cahoots."

"So in other words, since he's still at large, we need to continue the collaboration?" asked Lori.

"You're the expert on Cam Eleon's schemes," said Danger Mouse. "Who better to help us track them down and stop them once and for all?"

"So I'm here?" Lori asked.

"You've been reassigned to teach the new recruits the latest in American agent techniques," said the Colonel. "Congratulations and good luck. Of course, DM, you'll be the main liaison. We WILL provide a place for you and your assistant to remain in London while you're assignment lasts."

"What sort of place?" asked Lori.

"Well we're attempting to fix that up for you," DM's control agent admitted, scratching his balding head.

"She can remain here as my guest temporarily, granted that is all right with you sir," said Danger Mouse. "There are a few things that still need to be mopped up."

"You sure you wouldn't mind an American house guest?" Lori asked him.

"Provided it's a temporary basis," Danger Mouse couldn't resist adding in his usual dry sense of humor.

"Jolly good show DM. I'll keep you informed on your temporary quarters, and do report to the Intel HQ promptly tomorrow morning for your first lecture M6… with your assistant. Colonel K out."

Again, the screen buzzed, and Bagel entered with a plate of bread and butter, not to mention chocolate chip cookies, an American specialty. "My mom's recipe," she said, setting them down as the two mouse agents settled on the circular sofa.

"So you're stuck with us for a while, eh?" asked Lori.

"Could be worse," Danger Mouse said. "At least we know WHAT to expect from the pair of you ladies. The last time I had almost all of Penfold's relatives here at short notice… I couldn't' get a wink of sleep for weeks!"

"Hey," Penfold said indignantly. "Just because my Auntie enjoyed her music."

"Penfold shush," the White Wonder sighed. "Any way, you're welcome to stay provided it's not… er awkward."

"For you British people ANYTHING involving strong emotion is awkward," Bagel retorted as Penfold poured out the tea for him and his boss. He looked rather silly in the frilly apron, while Bagel stood leaning against the wall once she'd distributed the cookies and handed Lori a cup of hot coffee, instant, taking one cup for herself…"

"And there's another reason. Apparently your information was misconstrued, concerning a certain matter, which is only partially resolved," Danger Mouse said with as discreet a cough as possible as he regarded Lori, sitting across the circular in-ground sofa from himself.

"There 'e goes again about her," Penfold whispered to Bagel, who was sitting by Lori as he set a plate of cucumber sandwiches by her, and sneaked a couple of her homemade chocolate chip cookies for himself. "Remind me to tell you about that sometime. It's VERY interesting."

"Penfold, REALLY," The White Wonder rolled his eyes. "You KNOW I can hear you from over here."

"You want us to bugger off then, right Chief," Penfold mumbled. "Oh 'eck."

"Don't we have two guest bedrooms to make ready for our visitors?" asked Danger Mouse. "As I recall I did the laundry when your COUSINS were over last month…"

"All right, all right, I think he gets the message," Bagel laughed. "C'mon, show me the secret of how you get the linens so white. Is it bleach or something else?"

"Bleach?" Penfold looked scandalized. "Lummy no! It'd be Wonder White."

"Wonder white for the white wonder?" laughed Bagel as Lori and Danger Mouse shoed them both out of the room. "You British are crazy! I use Whammo soap powder."

"Do you two MIND?" Danger Mouse asked, and glanced helplessly at Lori.

"Bagel, go find something to do, we're talking shop," said Lori. "Chapter 10 of my biography needs writing, and maybe DM's pal can show you the best place in London to get those pictures developed."

"Whatever," Bagel rolled her eyes and dashed off after Penfold, who was disappearing back into the kitchen. Leaving both agents sitting there finishing their tea.

"Now, what was this about finishing my lack of information?" Lori asked. "Something about you having kept in touch with her, and me speaking to her at the next possible opportunity?"

"Well since you ARE sticking about for a while, there IS a concert upcoming at the Albert Hall," Danger Mouse passed her the Daily Mirror. "And I took the liberty of procuring tickets for myself and Penfold because I am hem… well acquainted with the singer… and considering you ARE family to the party involved."

"Go on, say it, you're dating my cousin, it's okay I'm cool with it now," Lori chuckled because Danger Mouse was still trying to be as private as possible and she guessed it was because Penfold might be surreptitiously listening behind some corner. She nodded, and picked up the paper with a smile.

"So you've got a DATE with her?" she asked him slowly.

"Hem, I trust you CAN be discreet, as can your assistant?"

"She'll keep her mouth shut," smiled Lori. "And I think there's a certain reason for that."

"What exactly?" asked Danger Mouse slowly, sipping his tea and eating a piece of biscuit with marmalade on it.

"She doesn't discuss Whammo Soap powder with just anyone," said Lori. "Three guesses."

"Ah, point taken," Danger Mouse said slowly. "Hmm I have to admit these chocolate chip biscuits are QUITE tasty. If my agent's reasoning is functioning, and it is most certainly, I think you and I aren't the only ones who will end up needing to talk about certain matters regarding your cousin's concert… It's quite extraordinary. I haven't seen the boy this excited since he came back from the Barry Manilow concert."

"Then he's not in the habit of staring oddly at the way other assistants make cookies?" Lori teased.

"Hmm, quite extraordinary. I believe you and I will have to keep close watch and be provided to give advice on certain notice," Danger Mouse said meaningfully as he saw Penfold showing Bagel the best techniques for removing explosion stains from DM's uniforms.

"Club soda gets ANYTHING out," Bagel said to Penfold.

"Go on," he said. "I soak them in Wonder White… and baking soda."

"Chaperones at the concert?" asked Lori. "And what incentive do I have? I'm only thankful Bagel's Bubbe isn't here hounding me about finding the right mouse."

"I do have someone in mind for you as well as a date for the concert Saturday evening," Danger Mouse said slowly, stroking his ear thoughtfully. "If you wouldn't be insulted by my offering to set you up, whilst I attend to my long overdue date with your cousin this Saturday… after you and she have your… reunion."

"Uh oh, should I be worried?" Lori asked.

Danger Mouse chuckled and folded his arms across his chest, giving her look like a mischievous brother would when setting his best friend up with his sister. She was beginning to see him like the big brother she always wanted but never had. There could be much she could learn from the White Wonder. Moreover, she had 10 years of girl talk to catch up Fifi on!

Narrator Isenbard: Is this the beginning of a new friendship, or something more? Will Penfold get over his schoolboy crush and what new adventures will our heroes face now that some rather… hem personal things have been revealed? Stay tuned for the next adventure of DANGER MOUSE!