They met on Earth, the neutral ground. It was the one place They could trust each Other for this meeting.

She lay across a park bench, Her pretty brown hair blowing softly in the breeze, Her strong legs dancing in the air as She waited. The Dark Lord (a nickname that always made Her giggle) was often late.

"He thinks He's human or something," She muttered, sitting up. "And I know You're there! You can stop hiding from Me!"

He stepped out from the bushes, which instantly blackened and died. She rolled Her eyes.

"You're such a show-off, Lucifer," She commented, but there was amusement in Her voice, as always.

The Dark Lord, Lucifer, scowled. "A deity has to show off His power sometimes."

She laughed, and, despite the blackness of midnight that surrounded them, a family of birds nestled in the leaves above started to sing. "I have no need to show off My powers, Lucifer," She giggles. "Everyone knows I have them anyway!"

His scowl darkened, and so did the night. "You know I Hate You, right?"

"I don't know what that word even means, Lucifer," She responded, smiling. "I just know that I Love You, because You're funny!" She burst into joyous laughter again, and flowers long dead from winter frost bloomed into color again.

She was Eternity, Laughter, Friendship, Love… all things positive.

He was Death, Darkness, Sickness, Hatred… all things negative.

She is the Being known as God.

He is the Being known as Satan.

"You're looking well," Lucifer commented dully. She giggled again.

"And You're looking gloomy. Why don't You laugh sometimes, Dear?"

A crooked grin spread over his charmingly handsome face, and a baby bird from the nest above stumbled from his branch and fell, cracking its fragile skull on the sidewalk. "I laugh. But not at the things You laugh at."

Her smile faded, and thunder rolled in the distance. "What did You call this meeting for?"

"The time has come-"

"The walrus said," God interrupted, and giggled.

Lucifer scowled. "Anyway… I'm tired of fighting over Existance with You."

God stared at Him innocently, Her blue eyes wide. "Are You now? Well, good. I'm glad. Remove Your sin from My Creations, and go back to Tartarus where You belong."

"That's not what I meant," Lucifer continued, smirking slightly. "I meant-"

"I know what You meant," God cut Him off, brushing a lock of hair behind Her ear. "I also know You've already started recruiting for this 'War of the Ages'." She pouted at Him, and rain started to sprinkle around Them. "Those poor boys."

"You've started recruiting too!" Lucifer spat angrily.

"But My boys are not forced to join, like Yours are! Mine are not required to give blood, to be raped! They are not forced to do things they do not want to do!" She shouted. The rain quickened, and lightning flashed in Her eyes.

Lucifer glared at her. "Are Yours like Mine?"

"Mine are invoked, as Yours are, but with pleasant things," Her smile returned. "My Dear Heavenly Virtues."

"Those weaklings? Versus my powerful Sins of Pride, Anger, Greed, Lust, Gluttony, Envy and Sloth?"

"Gluttony and Sloth aren't really powerful, Darling," God replied with a smirk.

Lucifer scowled. "But at least I have all My boys."

God narrowed Her eyes. "Let's see…" She began, counting on Her fingers. "You have Jack Kelly invoked with Pride, Dutch Schyuler invoked with Envy, Richie Jones invoked with Gluttony, Louie Ballatt invoked with Anger, Tony Higgins invoked with Greed, and Jacob Mathers invoked with Sloth… one, two, three… that's only six, Dear. You're missing one."

"I have Lust!" Lucifer insisted. "His name is Isaac Tatum. I'm just waiting to invoke him. Delilah's not ready yet."

God rolled Her eyes. "Well, I have all Mine too."

"Oh really?" Lucifer mocked Her, counting on His fingers. "Davey Jacobs (a Jew!) has Prudence, Kevin Li (a jap!) has Temperance, Marco Gutierez (a taco bender!) has Justice, James Jackson (a nerd!) has Fortitude, Ryan McAleenan (a nigger!) has Charity, and Nick Meyers (a half-nigger!) has Hope. Hmm… sounds like six to Me!"

God scowled, and lightning flashed again. "Danny Riccio is Faith. Caleb is waiting for Danny to be ready."

"Isn't that kid… Danny? Isn't he a queer?"

"Stop stereotyping!" God demanded. "You know I don't like that."

"That's why I do it."

God glared at Him. "Enough of this. Once Danny is invoked, I will be ready."

"Then the battle begins upon his invocation."

God gazed sadly at Lucifer. "I wish You would change Your mind, Lucifer?"

The Dark Lord smirked.

"Not bloody likely."

***AUTHOR'S NOTE***

Ohhh, man, this fic is gonna be disgusting!

I love it! XD

Wait'll you see the first chapter. I already have it written, I just wanna go through it a little more before I post it… it moves kinda fast.

But it's so awesomely disturbing.

Oh yeah, quick note on God: I've been watching waaaaay too much of Dogma. That's what's up with that. ^_^