Disclaimer: I own none of the characters or companies that I might happen to mention. Well, Maggie and Maria are both mine, although given how much trouble this chapter has given me, I’m thinking about getting someone to buy them off of me, because I officially hate them now.

Notes: Don’t...even say anything. I know. I’m so sorry. Hope it’s worth the 13-month wait. (I doubt it, but you never know.)

Chapter Fifty-One: Lightning Round!

Okay so...call me crazy, but there’s a part of me that wishes that Seifer would just come back, tell Ramuh to take five, and fight us on his own.

I mean, yeah, Seifer’s a pain in the neck, wielding a sharp stabby thing (known to the more eloquent as a “gunblade”) and a shield that made it so I couldn’t shoot him, or rather I could, but it wouldn’t connect. But it’s Seifer. High tech gadgetry notwithstanding, he IS mortal. I mean hell, even I managed to kill him once. And now I’m in relatively good health and have Selphie and Rinoa to back me up. Quite frankly, Sir Almasy (humouring him with the whole “I’m a knight hyuck hyuck” thing) really isn’t as much of a threat as he thinks he is.

In fact, it’s entirely possible that his boasting about us being nothing compared to him and all that was just a bluff, and he’s as well aware as we are that we could do away with him for good. Which is why he sent out Ramuh to take the hit for him, going from being Sir Almasy to the aptly named Sir-Not-Appearing-In-This-Fight. (Guess the pop culture reference, win a prize!)

It’s actually a fairly smart move on his part (hard to believe I’m saying that about Seifer, but here we are) because within the first five minutes of the fight, Ramuh proves to be a much more formidable opponent than Seifer could ever hope to be. For one thing, he’s got the intimidation edge. Seifer...well, okay, I can say Seifer does scare me. A little. I mean, I know I just said we could have killed him had he stuck around, but I’m not gonna deny that he could cause some serious damage to us. He’s got more than half a foot and I’d say fifty pounds on me, and then you add in the gunblade...yeah. Plus probably a vendetta against me in general, you know, what with the death and all. So I suppose he does frighten me, at least in a way that his death was providing me with a source of comfort.

But Ramuh! Ramuh is a whole different ball game. Whole different ballpark, whole different league...hell, whole different sport. He has lightning. Electricity. Shocky things. Things I’m scared of. Not good. Plus there’s the fact that he’s a glowing, levitating old man which, I mean, that’s kind of disconcerting too. A glowing, levitating old man that can summon lightning at will, can brew up storms with a swish of his staff, and happens to have a really bad temper.

...Yaaaay.

The first few minutes of the fight consist of nothing but the three of us girls running from the lightning streaking down from the sky. Ramuh has managed to cook up a real doozy of a storm; the murky green clouds are twisting around faster than ever, the rain has already soaked through my clothes (honestly, can I have one fight where I don’t get completely sopping wet? I’m just happy I don’t tend to wear white that often...) and yeah, that’s a lot of lightning sizzling in the sky. Not to mention the wind, which is whipping my hair into my eyes as I run pell-mell across the tarmac. I’m lucky I’m not being blown out to the churning sea, to be honest with you. Maybe my drenched sweatshirt is weighing me down.

So we run, tentatively trying to send out attacks of our own whenever we get close enough. Not that it’s working at all. I mean, Selphie’s not risking getting so up in his face to hit him with her morning star thing (not that I blame her, and given all the metal on that thing, she’d probably get a nice zap in response anyway) and the real kicker? Dude repels bullets. Which makes sense, in a way. You know, magnetism and all. I’m not saying it’s fair (seeing as how it totally isn’t) I’m just saying I get it. He’s also capable of repelling Rinoa’s blaster edge. Therefore, physical attacks are a no.

That basically leaves us with magic and GFs (and limits, should we get lucky.) Fact is, magic does take concentration; I mean, it’s only the basic first-level spells in my case, so it doesn’t take a whole lot, but it’s enough that it could throw me off this whole “running from lightning” thing I’m doing. Knowing me, I’d be likely to get my goose cooked whilst trying to muster up some Blizzard magic to use on him. I’d probably be all focused on him, not watch where I’m going, and end up coming in contact with the business end of a lightning bolt. There’s a thud, some twitching, and mourning ensues. Not good.

But ANYWAY, my comrades appear to be considerably more focused than I am, managing to toss both a Fire AND a Blizzard at him without. The Fire doesn’t do much; in fact, it pretty nearly fizzles out before it can really make contact thanks to the torrential rain. The Blizzard (I don’t know who cast what, before you ask) seemed to do SOMETHING. Hey, making Ramuh giggle counts as something, right? I mean sure, he’s not shrieking in pain, but at least we know we’re managing to penetrate his defenses, right? And if that’s not being positive, then I don’t know what is.

‘Kay, so magic is out. Regular weapon attacks are out...you know, I’m ALL for a nice Limit Break right now. I mean, I’m getting tired with all this running and dodging of lightning, which just so you know? That Tidus punk? Makes it look totally easy. Just like you have to magically skip back and let the bolt hit the ground and there’s no shockwaves or anything. Yeah, not the case. You know how many times Ramuh’s nearly got me? After only, like, five minutes? A lot. And about ninety percent of the time, I still get knocked back by the force of the lightning. I mean, I’m not physically injured really, but I’ve sort of been singed a few times, and I’ve actually got knocked on my ass once by a close shave. So! Maria! Let’s get Limiting! Chop chop! Time is money!

Yeah, my necklace is still black. I didn’t really think that’d work. I mean, what is Maria if not a malevolent, bitchy pseudo-god being thing? Were she to actually cut me a break here, I’d actually be shocked. Or surprised. Bad choice of words, you know, seeing who we’re fighting and all...

So I suppose my only option is to turn to my GFs, Tweedle-Dumb and Tweedle-Ditz (see what I did there? Heh heh...heh) and see if one of them wants to come out of my head and raise a little hell. Not sure what good they’d do; I mean, you don’t normally expect a water elemental being such as Leviathan to do a whole lot of damage to a lightning fiend. I mean sure, FFX preached that the two were interchangeably weak against one another, but come on, that’s a bunch of bollocks. In all likeliness, Levi would come out and do his tsunami thing, missing Ramuh completely and washing the three of us ladies out to sea to sleep with the fishes. Not saying that it’d be his fault, necessarily, but yeah. Not a good plan.

And Shiva...well, unless she wants to give Ramuh a good tickle fit, chances are she won’t be of much help either. Of course, her magic might be strong enough to actually hurt him as opposed to giving him the chuckles...bah, I don’t know. As much as I love Shiva, I sort of have my doubts.

I wish I had Aura magic available to me. I mean, and we’re going by the assumption that it’s not terribly tiring on the brain with repeated use, I could cast it on me, and then Selphie, who could probably do at least some damage if she gets Ultima a couple times. Or ten or so, you know, not picky. And maybe I’d cast it on Rinoa too; a little Wishing Star could come in handy, don’t you think?

Actually, if you must know, I’ve always found Rinoa’s Limit to be...well, sorta lame. I mean, for almost all of them, she uses Angelo. She gets a DOG to help her unleash attacks. Now, maybe it’s just because I’m a cat person, but it sort of seems like a bit of a cop-out, don’t you think? I mean, everyone else gets their Limits from some divine force that I really don’t understand, and remind me to ask Maria about that whole thing, because when I think about it, I really don’t get why and how my pistols can change into a grenade launcher when I’m in a lot of pain. But Rinoa’s Limit...she fires Angelo at the enemies with help from her blaster edge doodad. And that compares HOW?

Although thinking on it, it probably isn’t wise to question using dogs in battle. I mean, think of Shadow from FF6. He has a dog (named Interceptor, if I recall) who takes hits for him from time to time. And I really don’t want to question the ways of Shadow, because Shadow is a ninja, and if my knowledge of ninjas is anything to go by, if you question the motives and actions of a ninja, they’ll make you bleed. And Shadow doesn’t strike me as the kind of ninja that’s afraid to cut a bitch, especially if said bitch mocks the whole dog thing.

One final thought, though. Do you think Bootsy would be of any help in battle? I suppose he could be a morale booster, providing cuddles in battle and the like. If the enemy was running towards us, he could get underfoot and trip them, and then act indignant when they didn’t see him! He could meow at them for hours on end, driving them insanity, with the only way out being to turn their weapons on themselves! And let’s not forget the limitless potential that is the litter box! It’s pure, unadulterated genius!

And I think it’s best that I get back to the actual battle on hand, lest I go completely mad from all these random tangents. And NOT in the good way.

Alright, so I guess seeing as how Limits aren’t gonna happen unless we all get really badly hurt (and I’d like to avoid that if at all possible) it’s time for fun with GFs.

I try to have a bit of an inner consultation with my two summons, which is not the easiest thing to do when you’re being chased by errant bolts of lightning, let me tell you.

The response I get is surprisingly...unenthusiastic. Specifically, Shiva lets out a yawn before saying, “Nah.”

NAH? What the hell do you mean “nah”? What happened to being my helpful guardian spirit person? The goddess of ice who once threw herself in front of a laser in order to keep me from being killed? What, did the nice side of you leave with Diablos or something?

THAT got a reaction. “What does that pompous ass have to do with anything?”

Oh nothing, I was just thinking that maybe Diablos was a good influence on you or something...I mean, I know if HE were here, he’d totally jump at the chance to kick some ass. Yes, I know I’m being manipulative. No, I don’t really care.

“Oh come on.” Shiva scoffs. “Remember back when you first got Diablos? If he couldn’t win in a fight against YOU, what chance would he have against Ramuh? Do you KNOW the kind of reputation Ramuh has around the spirit realm?”

I let out an audible sigh. I swear, I NEVER tire of hearing how pathetically weak I am, especially when I’m being compared to some kind of low hurdle that Diablos failed to leap over, so to speak. It’s like, Shiva: wintry GF, or overly naggy mother? I’m almost expecting to hear her say something along the lines of “...And clean this brain! It’s filthy!” Oy.

Just so you know, Shiva’s decided to enlighten me on some of Ramuh’s famous feats. I didn’t know the guy was such a legend, but... “And you should have seen him! Gave Tiamat a right old beat down! And, I mean, I know you’re afraid of lightning and all, but WOW. Seriously, and once Tiamat had enough, she...”

She?

“Oh, Tiamat’s a girl, didn’t you know? Yeah, total crazy bitch. I mean, nice one minute, trying to rip off your head the next. But anyway,” Shiva sighs, “it was sooo amazing. Tiamat was just slinking away, and Ramuh said in this great booming voice, ‘Be gone and NEVER RETURN!’ Which isn’t the most original thing ever, but he had thunder crashing and all that, and he literally made the Magus Sisters swoon, and...”

Please keep in mind that during all of this rambling about how amazing our opponent is (which, you know, thanks Shiva! That’s a reeeeal morale booster...) I am still running, panting, dodging lightning, getting soaking wet, and feeling generally pissed off. Seifer’s going to get another nice visit from the Knee-To-The-Groin fairy for this one, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

“But really,” Shiva continues through it all, “Ramuh’s like this big hero guy in our world. And what’s Diablos? Ooh, the Prince of Darkness! SCARY. You know how we view Diablos? He’s the self-important goth guy that takes Anne Rice books WAY too seriously! Goth guy versus hero, Maggie.”

Uh-huh. Didn’t Shiva consider him to be like this incredible god of love beforehand, albeit one with a penchant for capes? Or did I completely imagine all the flirting and fawning over each other and stuff? Man, it is AMAZING how one’s perception of someone can change once the two go through a nasty breakup.

Shiva’s still going on about Ramuh and how wonderful he is, so I decide to cut her off. Look, if you love Ramuh so much, why don’t you just come out here and marry him for heaven sakes? Well, I’d prefer that she come out and completely destroy him, but you know what I mean.

“Ohh no.” Shiva replies. “I’ve made a big promise to myself to never marry again. Trust me, it only ends in pain.”

I hear ya, but...wait, “again”? Who’d you marry before?

“And for another thing, I WOULD go out there and cause some havoc,”she continues, completely ignoring my inquiry, “but it appears Leviathan has already beaten me to it.”

That news perks me right up. Really? When?

“Should be out there shortly...although judging from the looks of things one of the other girls has summoned someone too.”

Wha...? I turn my attention back to the battle at hand (for the record, yes, I DID remember that there was a battle going on, thank you very much) and realize that well I’ll be damned, someone really IS summoning a GF. A GF that is currently barreling through the clouds out above the ocean and flying towards us on large pink wings...

My initial thoughts on seeing Valefor is that oh my God, Yuna must be here! And then I start wondering which version of Yuna it is, and I can’t help but hope that it’s X-2 Yuna, because despite her lack of clothing, she does seem like she’d be more fun to hang out with, don’t you think? Like, she’d probably be good for a round of shopping for things you can’t possibly afford before going to your dorm and casually sipping wine coolers and talking about boys and how annoying they can be, what with their habits of only being dreams and all that. Whereas FFX Yuna...would probably lecture you for spending too much money and how drinking is bad for you, before giving up with a shrug and getting completely wasted in an attempt to lighten up. And I’m pretty sure Yuna would be a mean drunk. Hence my preference.

Of course, my completely random hopes are dashed when I realize that Quistis initially had Valefor waaaaaay back in the Fire Caverns, and that she probably lent Valefor to one of the girls before we left Garden. Which is awfully darn nice of her, really, and pretty fortunate for us.

So Ramuh’s pretty much stopped doing whatever the hell it was he was doing at this point and is now staring up furiously at the...well, I’m not totally sure WHAT Valefor’s supposed to be, to be honest with you. In any case, Valefor flutters up above him, lets out a nice loud battle cry, and then totally unleashes a nice round of Energy Blast on Ramuh’s ancient ass. Go go go!

Why she (with that torso, it’s pretty obvious that Valefor’s a female) used Energy Blast instead of Ray is anyone’s guess; I didn’t think she’d be strong enough to use it, to be honest with you. But maybe it’s sort of like with Choco/Mog in Final Fantasy 7. That is, she’ll use one attack most of the time, but randomly, she’ll pull out all the stops and do this big massive thing. Which is what Choco/Mog will do (and for the record, I recall one time when Choco/Mog used their rare attack, Fat Chocobo, the first time I used the summon. Weird...)

But anyway (and I really need to stop all this rambling) I’m certainly not complaining either way, because Energy Blast not only hurts Ramuh, but it actually knocks him to the ground. To which I say, holy crap. I think I might have underestimated what GFs can do for us here, because quite obviously NONE of us have been able to do any damage to him until now.

And as an added bonus, getting chucked onto the ground like that has majorly thrown him off, and as Selphie so demonstrates, we can hurt him too. Ramuh certainly didn’t like getting a Blizzara thrown at him when his defenses are down, that’s for sure.

Fully ready to take advantage of this, I quickly pull out a pistol and fire a couple rounds at him. I’m a fair ways away from him, but judging by the angry roars, I think my shots connected. Rinoa also follows suit by shooting her blaster edge thing at him too, which ends up making a large tear in his robes. Ouch.

So obviously Ramuh doesn’t stay down forever, and soon gets to his feet, completely drenched and VERY mad. Evidently, his little electric shield kept him from getting soaked by the rain, and when Valefor hit him, his shield failed. So yeah, we’ve got a really pissed off GF on our hands now. Goody.

To go along with the “Ramuh is mad as hell and not gonna take it anymore” theme...the storm has intensified. As in, more lightning, more rain, more waves from the ocean, and the clouds are beginning to rotate in an extremely scary way. And if my extensive knowledge of weather is anything to go by (and that’s not sarcasm, seeing as how when I was little I really wanted to be a meteorologist and therefore soaked up any and all weather facts I came across like a dorky little sponge) then batten down the hatches, Dorothy, because there’s a twister a-comin’. Or a hurricane, given the proximity of the sea...

But now it’s time to run again, as Leviathan has yet to come out and distract Ramuh from beating on the three of us girls. Which is what his rage has led him to do, obviously. He’s zooming around after us (currently, he’s chasing Rinoa...run, girl, run!) and swinging his staff like a crazed kid going after a pinata. Except instead of going after Rinoa win hopes of getting candy and other assorted sweet things, Ramuh is just wanting vengeance. Or...well, who knows? Maybe if and when he kills us, he’ll go back to Seifer, and Seifer will be so impressed that he’ll give him candy as a reward. Now THAT’S something worth fighting for!

Uh, in any case, I’m still running and wondering why Leviathan is taking his sweet bloody time getting out here when I fall. To the ground. In all honesty, I’m not sure why or how I end up on my stomach with my face inches away from the sodding wet cement; it might have something to do with the fact that I have all the grace and reflexes of a three-toed sloth. Doesn’t help that the pavement itself is a bit on the slippery side thanks to all the rain. Whatever the cause, whether I slipped or tripped over a patch of rough air or something (known to happen when you’re me), I’m on the ground soaking wet with what feels like a skinned knee. Owwwie...at least I managed to avoid actually whacking my face against the cold hard ground. Sometimes that’s all I have.

So okay, need to get up, even though the cement, as cold and wet as it is, feels almost comfortable at this point. I mean, I’ve been running, and I’m nearly out of breath and my muscles ache, so part of me just wants to sigh, curl up in a little ball and go to sleep, provided I could with the noise from the thunder and all that. Oh, and by the way? I sort of feel like giving myself a pat on the back for not freaking out over the fact that I’m actually outside during weather like this. I mean, in different circumstances, I’m pretty sure I’d be crying and generally spazzing out and running for the nearest shelter. So go me, I guess.

But anyway, I get to my feet, cursing my clumsiness the entire way up, and sigh. Never before has a fight seemed so much like a game of tag, except with lightning. Was there ever a version of it CALLED lightning tag? I don’t remember...probably, although I doubt it was in that context. I mean, I recall playing freeze tag and blob tag back in the glory days of being a kid, so why wouldn’t there be lightning tag? No idea.

Geez, good thing I don’t get distracted easily, huh? Yeesh. Let’s make with the running. Again.

And I do just that, breaking into a jog despite the fact that my legs are very sore and quiver more with each step. It won’t be too long before they give out entirely and I’ll be on the ground again.

And then, as if on cue...I’m on the ground again. After being thrown several feet through the air. I literally skid on the pavement when I land, narrowly avoiding scraping my chin. My hands, on the other hand...I steal a look at them once I come to a stop. They look like raw hamburger. Ugh. Is there a doctor in the house?

At least I can’t attribute this to my being a klutz, especially given how I think I was actually blasted off my feet by something that both sounded and felt like a cannon going off. There had been a loud bang, some intense heat (not really enough burn me, although I can’t help but notice that some tips of my hair are smoking a bit) and then I went airborne. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear I got hit by lightning. Except I’m, you know, alive. Hmm.

I stagger to my feet, ignoring my stinging palms and bleeding fingernails (thanks to my clawing at the ground in attempts to stop) and try to focus on casting Cure on myself. Not easy when you’re dizzy...oy. Stop the world, please. I’d like to get off.

I’d like to mention that at this point Valefor has again shown up from the recesses of whoever’s brain she’s inhabiting, which is distracting Ramuh enough that I don’t have to worry about him. There’s still SOME lightning, but it appears to be the natural kind that comes with the storm, and not the magical kind that Ramuh kept raining down on us. I couldn’t tell you what kind hit me, assuming that was lightning at all. What else could it be, really?

I’m trying to concentrate on healing my hands (it’s gonna be hard to hold my pistols if I’m bleeding all over them and in constant pain) when Selphie runs over, looking all sorts of concerned.

“Are you okay?” She asks, casting a glance over her shoulder at Valefor, who’s giving Ramuh a mighty helping of Energy Ray, by the looks of things.

“Yeah, I guess.” My reply’s kinda weary, but can you blame me? “Did you see what happened?”

“Well, not really.” Selphie said, taking a Potion out of her pocket and handing it to me (my attempts at casting Cure didn’t pan out to anything in my current state, no pun intended...you know, current? Electricity? Oh, shut up.) “I mean, the lightning was so bright...a LOT different then when it just hit the ground. But it was weird, because it didn’t actually hit you. It went right to you, and I could have sworn it hit you, but then something blocked it. Weird, huh?”

Something...blocked...oh. Dammit all.

“Leviathan.” I say finally. “He must have taken the hit for me.”

“They can do that?” Selphie says, glancing over at Rinoa again. “You know, I’m not thinking we’re gonna last much longer. I’m sooo tired.”

“Ugh, no kidding.” I reply, finally guzzling the Potion. Valefor’s already left the scene, leaving Ramuh lying on the ground with Rinoa wailing on him with her blaster edge. Selphie and I hurry to help, with her throwing a Blizzara on him and me getting a few rounds into his ancient hide. I’d like to say it’s enough, but it’s not, and he eventually gets on his feet and continues on with the shockfest. Commence running! Again.

As I’m jogging, I decide to contact Shiva, who has been surprisingly quiet this entire time. I mean, Leviathan just got...well, not killed, but he’s been sent back to the other plane, right? You remember, the place GFs are supposed to be from, and where they go back to in order to rest? Yeah, so Shiva’s alone in there right now, and I’m wondering how she’s holding up.

Shiva? You okay up there? I’ll be honest: her silence is sort of worrying.

Even more worrying is the fact that she doesn’t answer me. At all.

I try again. Shiva? Come on, I know you’re probably a bit upset, but I need your advice!...Please?

Still nothing. My head, for the time being, appears to be empty. And yes, it occurred to me that I totally just burned myself, but I’m serious. There’s an incredible absence of GFs in my head right now, and I’ll be darned if it’s not kinda frightening.

Okay, so no GFs then. I can safely say I have no idea where Shiva is, but you know what? FINE. If she wants to go all AWOL on me when I really need her around, then good for her. It’s not like I was gonna summon her or anything...sheesh. Stupid unreliable summon beasties.

And then it’s at this point things get weird. Well, weirder. I mean, this entire morning (although I’m guessing it’s about noon now) has been pretty screwed up as far as I’m concerned. After all, Seifer is somehow still kickin’ it, Ramuh is attacking us, Leviathan has been sent to the GF homeworld (if only temporarily) and Shiva has stopped answering my calls, as it were. Actually, I think this new onset of weirdness might have something to do with her, what with the snow and all.

Yes, for reasons I cannot explain (and I don’t think Ramuh could either, given how he’s actually stopped chasing Selphie and is now staring, puzzled, up at the sky) it has begun to snow. Sure, it’s still raining and thundering and what have you, but now snow has entered into the mix. Not that I’m complaining; I love the stuff. But honestly? It’s odd, given the already very strange circumstances.

As a side note, one has to wonder what the Balamb citizens make of all this. First it was all sunny and happy, and then a big nasty storm kicked up. And now snow? In a temperate island community? If I didn’t know what was going on here at the docks I would consider it to be a sign of the apocalypse and would REALLY be repenting right now...were I religious at all. Which I’m not.

Anyway, I suppose I could also draw attention to the fact that the sky looks a good deal different now. Gone are the twisting moss green clouds; instead, we’ve got something a little more normal and a lot less menacing. The clouds up there now are all a soft light grey, and while it’s hardly beach weather, it’s a good deal nicer than the whole typhoon thing that was going on before. But I guess that depends on who you ask. There’s gotta be someone out there who prefers a pseudo-hurricane to snow; there are some odd ducks out there, after all.

As I said, Ramuh has stopped attacking us and is glaring around the battlefield in utter bewilderment. At least, I think he is; the snow’s falling down thicker and faster, and from where I’m standing it’s hard to see him. Rinoa, who’s not that far away, catches my eye and raises the eyebrow. I can only shrug and try not to shiver. The temperature, obviously, has dropped a good few degrees, and seeing as how I’m already in a sopping wet sweatshirt-and-jeans combo...yeah. Kinda chilly. I’ll be lucky if I don’t catch a cold from this.

I’m standing there gazing up at the falling snow and wondering absentmindedly if throwing snowballs at Ramuh would do anything (you never know) when I become acutely aware that there’s a presence behind me. At first I think it’s Selphie, but the chill I get when said person touches me on the shoulder makes me know better.

Sure enough I’m right. There’s Shiva, standing there just like she was a regular human...except blue-skinned and nearly naked in a snowstorm. Clearly, she gives new meaning to the phrase “flash freeze”.

...Although thinking about it, I suppose if I had a perfectly toned body and an immunity to cold weather, I’d probably wear a blue crystal bikini thing everywhere too. And I’ll just let that horrifying mental image sit with you and move on.

Well, before I do...I’m actually sort of surprised at Shiva’s appearance. I mean, I’m surprised that she’s out of my head and just standing there instead of, you know, attacking, but mainly, I’m surprised about how she looks. For one thing, homegirl is TALL. I mean, in human form she’s a decent height too (although I think that’s mostly do to the high-heeled shoes she wears) but as a GF she’s gotta be over six feet. She’s also a lot more...decorative than I recall her being. Pierced bellybutton and nose, a few swirly henna tattoos here and there...it’s sort of like she’s getting in touch her namesake’s culture, assuming you ignore the fact that she’s trouncing around in the aforementioned crystal bikini. But besides all that, the pale blue-hued skin and the multi-coloured hair (seriously, it’s like six different colours of blue with a few streaks of blonde here and there) she actually looks a lot like her human form. Same facial features and all that. Not sure why I never noticed all this before; I guess it’s because she’s always so busy attacking the enemy and I’m busy not getting hit by flying ice. That’s my guess.

But anyway, as nice as it is to see her and have her out here and all that, I have to wonder: what the HELL is she doing? Why’s she standing here, seemingly squinting through the snow, which has now taken on blizzard-like proportions, as opposed to attacking?

“Um...” I start, looking from her to the battlefield. I can’t see either of my comrades or Ramuh what with all the snow. “Shiva...what are you doing?”

She doesn’t say anything; she simply gives me a little grin and waves her hand to the blizzard, which immediately thins a little. Well, it thins enough that I can see Selphie and Rinoa and Ramuh again, all who are staring this way with rather surprised expressions on their faces from what I can see. Not that I blame them, really.

I look up at Shiva again. “So...why are you out here?”

She doesn’t answer that question either. Instead she’s looking at Ramuh with a rather self-satisfied look on her face. And Ramuh’s glaring back at her, appearing to be both horrified and angry at the same time. Again, I don’t really blame him; Shiva’s sort of crashed his lightning party. In fact, there’s very little lightning at all now...just snow.

Now, I’m not minding this change of weather at all, but seriously, can someone please explain what the hell is going on? Because while it’s fascinating seeing her turn the weather on it’s head, I’m quite perplexed as to why she’s doing that as opposed to, you know, ATTACKING Ramuh. As pretty as these flurries are, they’re not making the battle end any faster, you know?

I’m questioning this and absently staring up at the falling snow, even holding my hands out to catch some (snow does weird, child-like things to me) when...

“Get Rinoa and Selphie and go.”

“Huh?” She startles me out of my reverie. Good thing too, I was THIS close to trying to catch snowflakes with my tongue. Not even kidding. “Go? Go WHERE?”

“You see the army vehicle back there?” Shiva asks, still not looking at me.

“Um...” I glance back to where, by miracle of miracles, one of the armoured vehicles is still in one piece. “Yeah.”

“Hide in there.”

“Uh,” I falter. “Are you sure? I mean, won’t he just come after us?”

Shiva gives a small shake of her head. “Not with me to keep him occupied. Trust me on this.”

“Okay...okay, but you owe me some explanations later.”

She nods before setting that rather smug grin on her face again. “I’m going.”

And she...well, goes. Streaking (in nearly all senses of the term) toward Ramuh with a flash of pale blue, nearly running head on into him. Actually, she does hit him. With her fist.

Yes, Shiva, Goddess of Ice and Snow, is attacking Ramuh, but not with magic. Not with the elements that she commands with a snap of her fingers. No, my dear GF is laying the beatdown on him in the most literal sense of the word. She is smacking the proverbial bitch, and I’ll be damned if it’s not one of the most entertaining things I’ve ever seen. I mean, I never thought I’d see a blue semi-naked woman beating up an old man, but here we are.

Oh...didn’t Shiva say we have to hide? Well, thankfully my two comrades have been edging their respective ways over here, never once turning away from the fight lest they miss something. Although to be fair there really hasn’t been much worth mentioning; I mean, after the initial shock of the fisticuffs between the two GFs wore off, I’m sorry to say that the fight’s been kinda dull. Ramuh appears to be pretty good at blocking her punches and kicks, as impressive as they are. And they are; you remember how in FFX Shiva does a weird spinning kick as a physical attack? Yeah, think of that but faster and more awesome. That’s what she’s doing.

Once Selphie and Rinoa have joined me, I let them in on what’s going on, and we all agree that the hiding idea is for the best. If Shiva wants to beat Ramuh for us, then I’m not going to stop her. She’s only been out for a few minutes and already she’s managed to land more hits on him than we have in the entire fight.

“But Maggie,” Rinoa asks as we jog over to the vehicle, “why is she doing this?”

“I wish I knew.” I sighed, reaching for the door handle and praying that it isn’t locked. Honestly, if it is, I’ll be mad. I’m actually looking forward to getting a bit of a breather in there. But as luck should have it, the door swings open, and we climb inside.

This vehicle is almost exactly the same as the one Squall, Irvine, Quistis and I rode in when we were crossing the desert; two benches on either side with a separate cab. The three of us all sink onto the seats, quickly turning to see the fight outside.

So far, the battle doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. I mean, Shiva’s still letting him have it with the punching and kicking and swatting and scratching, but it’s hard to say whether or not it’s having any effect. Still, it’s pretty cool to watch; she’s pretty fast and moves fluidly. Girl knows what she’s doing, I can tell you that. Maybe she’s been trained in some secret GF martial arts or something. I mean, you never know.

Okay, so admittedly it’s kind of hard to see the fight outside, what with the snow and the fact that the windows in this thing are kind of grimy, and really, the fact that I’m sitting in a chilly vehicle wearing damp clothing is kind of distracting. But despite all that, I still have a good enough view to see Shiva deliver an uppercut SQUARE into Ramuh’s jaw, actually knocking him to the ground. I’m surprised she could find his chin under all that beard. In any case, I can assure you the decking elicits some cheers from Selphie, Rinoa and I.

Ramuh groggily gets up and with what looks like a roar (can’t really hear him, you see) he swings at Shiva with his staff. She blocks the attack with some sort of ice shield thing. Pretty neat really; she just sort of held up her arm, and there was a bit of a blue flash and something shattered, and Shiva wasn’t hurt. I’m starting to think she has more powers than she lets on, because being able to instantly conjure up some ice armor was never on the resume, as far as I’m concerned. So I’m kind of curious as to what else she’s got up her non-existent sleeve.

“Um...” Rinoa pipes up from beside me, although she doesn’t finish whatever thought she had.

“I know.” I say, not really knowing at all. Believe me, all that’s going on right now, with the three of us in this army truck and Shiva being...well, corporeal out there and actually kicking Ramuh as opposed to doing her normal Diamond Dust thing, makes NO SENSE to me. None. I assure you, I am going to be somewhat...inquisitive when she gets back in my head, maybe involving some choice swear words and some shrillness. MAYBE.

Outside, Shiva is still managing to get blows in on Ramuh; not very many, but I can definitely see him recoil from the odd punch. Fast though he may be, she’s faster.

I can say I’m honestly surprised when Ramuh actually hurts her, although to be fair he doesn’t do it by bopping her with his staff or anything. He actually hits her with a lightning bolt, striking her when her guard is down. The three of us all gasp when we see the flash; please, please, PLEASE don’t let her be knocked out of the battle.

...Phew. Shiva’s still okay, although it definitely hurt her; she actually dropped to her knees for a second afterwards. But she’s alright, folks! She gets to her feet and lands a punch square on Ramuh’s nose, hard enough that his head actually snaps back and he’s on the ground again. That’d teach him.

...Although to be quite honest I’m pretty amazed that Shiva has enough power in her to knock him over like that. I mean, she IS a skinny little thing. I’ll just let it slide for now.

It’s also at this point that Shiva starts in with the magic, creating blocks of ice and throwing them at Ramuh a la Edea during the parade. And watching her pummel him with various bits of ice makes me wonder: how the HELL did Squall survive getting impaled by that ginormous icicle anyway? I mean, it was pretty damn big, and believe me when I say it went right through him. And yet the next time I saw him, it was like nothing happened. Of course, the next time I saw him I had been all beaten up and stuff, and Seifer had been killed (if only temporarily) and man, won’t THAT be an interesting thing to explain to everyone... “You’ll never guess who we ran into in Balamb!”

“So did Shiva actually say what the plan was?” Rinoa inquires, eyes never leaving the fight outside.

“No,” I reply, “although from the looks of things it’s mostly ‘sit back and let the GF handle it’.”

“That’s awfully nice of her...” I hear Selphie say from behind me, her voice slightly muffled. I turn to look and I’m surprised to see that she’s moved up to the cab of the truck, and is now sitting in the driver’s seat and examining the dashboard. I never even heard her move. Mad ninja skills, I guess.

“Selphie, what are you doing?” I ask.

“Trying to see if we can get the engine running.” She answers as she looks in the glove compartment. “We need to get some heat in here. Hmm, no keys...does anyone know how to hot wire a car?”

Rinoa and I just stare at her, and I’m trying not to laugh. I mean, out of all the things to ask in such an off-hand way...

Luckily, Selphie doesn’t have to wait for an answer. “Aha!” She cries, snatching something up from underneath the gas pedal. “There’s gotta be a spare somewhere.” She sticks the key in the ignition and turns it and the truck sputters...sputters...wheezes...nearly dies...and then by miracle of miracles, roars to life. Slightly warmer air comes rushing out of the vents and we all let out a collective sigh.

“Selphie, no offense, but I didn’t really think that was gonna work.” Rinoa says, slipping up into the passenger’s seat. I sit as close to the cab as possible; the two of them have the short ends of the straw in terms of clothing, seeing as how they’re stuck wearing a wet dress and shorts and tanktop respectively, whereas I’ve got a sweatshirt and jeans. If I’m cold, then they must me be damn near frozen.

In any case, Selphie giggles. “Well, I remember that when I lived in Trabia, back when the gardens were all still funded by the same place, we were given trucks just like these ones. And I remember learning that their engines are enhanced to withstand all sorts of weather.” She grins. “I always knew auto shop would come in handy.”

“...You took auto shop?” I ask, raising an eyebrow. “I mean, no offense, but you don’t seem the type.”

“Yup! Loved it too. Cars and trains and boats...I love ‘em all! They’re cool!”

Well, that’d explain a lot, I guess. Now we know why she sings that song about trains, and why she’ll inevitably get so excited when we start zipping around in the Ragnarok. And for the record, I’m actually really looking forward to that too. I mean, I’ve never flown before, and I assume I’ll be sort of pulling a Yuffie the whole time and spending most of our air time barfing, but still. An airship’s an airship, after all.

Still, little Selphie Tilmitt, aspiring mechanic. Who’d have thought?

Whatever conversation that would have lead into is cut short, however. We’re sooooort of interrupted by Shiva landing on the hood of the truck. Why is anyone’s guess, but judging by the way she slammed down hard on her back, I’m going to assume Ramuh might have had something to do with it. Call it a hunch if nothing else.

In any case, Shiva lands hard on the hood, the vehicle itself bucks, the windshield cracks, and the three of us girls all scream bloody murder. But come on, you would too if your GF made a crash landing on the hood of the car you’re sitting in. And honestly, it is frightening, especially given how Shiva doesn’t get up immediately. For a few seconds I’m worried that she’s down for the count and is about to, I don’t know, disappear, or whatever it is GFs do when they leave your head for a rampage and end up getting knocked out instead. Pyreflies? More shattering? I don’t know and really don’t want to find out.

However, after a few seconds, Shiva groggily gets up. In fact, she actually peeks in at the three of us (not easy, seeing as how the window is nearly coated in frost due to her proximity) and gives us a grin and a thumbs up. And then...well, remember waaaay back when Zell, Squall and I were fighting the fake president, and Zell got Silenced and was basically miming to me to get me to unSilence him? No? Well, it happened. Try to keep up.

Anyway, Shiva’s currently doing the same sort of thing, except she actually looks more ludicrous than The Blonde And Tattooed One did. While Zell had bunny hopping and pointing and general acting out what he wanted us to do, Shiva is mostly just frantically waving her arms about and yelling at us, and seeing as how there’s some rather thick glass between us (for all we know it could be bullet-proof) the screaming really isn’t doing anything. In fact, it’s safe to say that this whole...thing, that Shiva’s doing? One of the most bizarre sights I’ve ever seen EVER. I mean, when I think of Shiva, I think of a rather dignified being, one that would never have to resort to gesturing like a lunatic. Well, that’s what I thought before I got into this whole mess and actually met Shiva. Because really, I’ve seen her in so many forms now. I’ve seen her as a summon, an explainer of confusing goings-on, a friend (of sorts), a general disturbance in my head, and now...Shiva’s a pseudo-mime. And that thought is both amusing and frightening at the same time.

Regardless, neither Selphie or Rinoa or I say anything while Shiva waves her arms in the general direction of Ramuh (I assume, anyway; she’s sort of pointing to her left and our right, and that IS where Ramuh was before) and then back at us. You know, it’d be so much easier to understand what she wants us to do if her gestures actually MADE ANY SENSE AT ALL. Not that I’m complaining or anything. But let’s see, more pointing at Ramuh, then us, making a little man out of her first two fingers on one hand and using her other fist to ram into it, almost like the Little Shiva Finger man was getting hit by a tru...oh.

“I might be wrong,” Rinoa says, “but I think she wants us to drive into Ramuh.”

“No kidding.” I reply. I glance at Selphie via the rear-view mirror. “Um, can we do that? I mean, he’s electric and all, so it can’t be that safe, can it?”

Selphie shrugged, raising an eyebrow as Shiva nearly slips off the hood of the truck while waving a bit too broadly (in her defense, it probably is awfully slippery up there...) “It wouldn’t be the best idea, but we should be okay, just as long as we all have seatbelts on.”

The two girls up front buckle themselves up, and I look frantically in my seat for one as well...in vain. “Er, Selphie? Just putting this out there, but what if one of us doesn’t have a seatbelt?”

She looks at me with a bit of a wince. “I...um, just try and hold on, okay?”

“...Right.” I sigh, moving as close to the back of the driver’s seat as I can and clutching onto it. I swear to God, might as well vote me “Maggie Thomas, Most Likely to Get Flung Screaming Through A Windshield” or something. Wouldn’t be too far off at this point.

I would also like to point out that if I die here it will officially be the most ironic thing to ever happen ever in the history of mankind EVER. I mean seriously, Seifer runs me through with a knife, I face off against a whole bunch of different monsters...and yet I’m killed in a freak car accident while trying to inflict vehicular GF-slaughter? It’d have Alanis Morrisette spitting chips, were her usage of the word “ironic” accurate at all, which it isn’t.

...Just so you know, I find the knowledge that I can still spout off random pop culture references while death is staring me in the face and threatening to smite me with lightning rather comforting. I’ll only be fearing for my life when I can’t mention, like, the Spice Girls or some such given the current context. You know me, I could find a way.

But ANYWAY (and yay for pointless digressions, amirite fellas?) Shiva has apparently realized we’re on to her plan of the running into Ramuh and all that, as she’s hopped down off the hood of the ’s still gesturing to us, and from the looks of things, she wants us to wait a minute while she goes and deals with Ramuh. Which is what I thought she wanted US to do, but never mind. Maybe she wants to soften him a little more before we do our whole ramming thing.

Seeing as how Ramuh and now Shiva, having run over to him, are both out of our line of sight, Rinoa looks over to Selphie. “Should we get ready? I mean, get so we can see it when Shiva gives us a signal or whatever?”

“Hmm, okay.” Selphie says, trying to muscle the gear into reverse. The vehicle twitches with every movement of the shift.

“Selphie,” I ask meekly from behind her seat (I’m currently peeking over the headrest at her.) “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

“‘Course. It’s just this...oof, thing is awfully stiff...aha!” She cries, finally getting the damn thing into reverse and clutching the wheel with both hands. “Okay!”

Our reversal is less of a smooth ease backwards and more like the truck having a seizure. I mean, it’s not so bad for the other girls, what with their seatbelts and all (which, you know, sort of a luxury right now...) I, on the other hand, nearly go flying, getting flung onto my back on the seat.

Oy...I love the smell of whiplash in the morning. Or afternoon, as the case may be.

I look up to see both Selphie and Rinoa looking back at me with winces on their faces.

“Sorry!” Selphie cried. “I...it’s just the clutch...”

“Yeah. Right.” I drag myself off the bench and cling the seat again. “Please, let’s just try not to get me killed, okay?”

Outside, what with the car now roughly facing the GF brawl thing that’s going on, we finally see what Shiva had zipped over to do. And that’s when I realize what Shiva’s plan is. Well, more thoroughly than I did before. I mean, us girls had sorted out that my GF wanted us to drive into Ramuh with the truck (the riskiness of which I’m still questioning, by the way) but now I think I know what Shiva’s real idea was.

Basically...well, you know how Ramuh’s defenses get knocked down right after another GF attacks him, paving the way for my comrades and I to physically attack him? Well guess what Shiva’s doing? Yup, she’s in the middle of a particularly fierce looking Diamond Dust. About bloody time, really. She’s doing the mass freezing thing as we speak. So, with her doing that, I’m assuming that us driving into him is supposed to be like a big, ultimate physical attack...which in a way makes sense, because you’d think a rather large military vehicle plowing into you would hurt more than a few bullets and the like.

In short, the Diamond Dust plus our hit-and-run is like a big extensive one-two punch: Shiva softens him up with her magic, and we ram him. I have to say, it’s not a bad plan. You know, assuming we actually live through the actual crash and stuff.

Anywho, I let Selphie and Rinoa know what I think is going on (that is, the “weaken him with magic and THEN ram him” aspect) and they seem to agree that it makes the most sense. Now, to wait until Shiva’s done with the freezing thing. Shouldn’t take long...

Yup. And now that she’s successfully made Ramuh into a nice GF Popsicle, Shiva’s turned back to us and frantically waving again. I think that’s our cue...which we’re missing, seeing as how Selphie’s still wrestling with the shift. Getting it into “first gear” or “drive” or whatever she needs at this point appears to be more problematic than “reverse” was. (As a side note, can you tell I don’t know shit about driving? Because I don’t. Seriously, I don’t even know what pedal does what, and I TOTALLY don’t get the whole stick shift/manual transmission thing...maybe I should get Selphie to tell me later.)

“Um...” Rinoa says, eyeing both GFs. “Why hasn’t she broken the ice? I thought that’s what she did...”

“Well, maybe...maybe she’s waiting for us to start moving.” I say. Seriously, I hope that’s what’s going on, and that Shiva isn’t expecting us to careen head-on into a very solid-looking chunk of ice with no help at all. “But just, you know, hypothetically speaking...Selphie, if we did have to drive right into it...well, could we? Without getting hurt.”

Selphie glances at the ice pillar briefly before turning her attention back to actually getting the truck to move. “Oh probably. This thing SHOULD be able to break through it. Lots of armour and stuff, you know.” She says before swearing under her breath, still trying in vain to make the shift go to the right place. Well, she says “dammit” which is sort of swearing, depending on who you ask. I know if it were me I’d be saying something far worse, but it’s Selphie. If it weren’t for that little bit out in the desert with the missiles and all that, I would’ve thought it impossible for her to ever get pissed off.

Rinoa looks back at me. “What do you think, Maggie? Do you think Shiva would put us in danger like that?”

“Hmm...” I say, contemplating this. Like, I could sort of see Maria pulling this kind of crap, what with her whole mindset of “let’s put Maggie in as much physical pain as possible, because it’s FUN to watch her suffer! I’m an evil little troll! Uweeheehee!” But Shiva? I don’t think she’s evil enough to do something like that. I mean, if I kick the bucket here, what’s she gonna do? She’d probably be sent to someone else’s head, that’s for sure. Maybe that’s what she’s doing; maybe she WANTS me to die so that she gets to live in someone else’s brain. But I mean geez, if she wanted out that badly then I’d trade her for someone else’s GF. I wouldn’t mind having Valefor, to be honest. Ooh, or do you think Squall would want to part with Quezacotl? Hmm, it’s a thought.

But ANYWAY (did I not say I’d stop with the digressions? Sheesh...) the most I can do to respond to Rinoa’s question is simply shrugging and saying, “I hope not.” It’s the truth, after all.

The truck then jolts again, and Selphie lets out a whoop of glee. “There we go! Ready for ramming?”

“No.” I say meekly, burying my head in the back of the driver’s seat.

“Neither am I.” Rinoa says, sounding just as excited and confident about this as I am.

Selphie sighs and nods up to Shiva, who’s still nearly windmilling it out there (if you know what I mean by that.) Shiva promptly stops and nods back, turning to face the Ramuhsicle and waiting, presumably for us.

“Okay, count of three.” Selphie mutters, leaning forward over the steering wheel once again. “One...two...THREE!”

She floors the pedal so hard that I actually hear it thump against the floor, and we take off like a big metal bat out of hell. Or something. Ramuh really isn’t that far away from us when we start (the dock area isn’t huge...I’d say a hundred meters, if that) so our trip to him is remarkably brief. Too brief, actually. As we shoot past her I manage to notice Shiva gesturing, and the ice shattering...about a second too late. Oh yes, of all the times for Shiva to be late with something, this is probably the worst. The three of us girls in here all realize within maybe half a second of each other that we are going to hit the bloody chunk of ice before Shiva finishes breaking it, and therefore we all have ample time to start screaming our freaking heads off before we hit it.

The impact is like NOTHING I’ve ever felt before. For one thing, we hit the ice with such a loud bang that at first I think the car’s exploded. There’s glass shattering, metal screeching, ice breaking and crunching against the vehicle and under the wheels. I had been grabbing onto the back of Selphie’s seat, but I feel it slip away from my grasp and I get flung seemingly all the way to the back of the truck, bouncing against the back door and then maybe against the ceiling and one of the walls...I can’t really tell, as I have my eyes closed this entire time. All I can say is that for these few short seconds when I’m being thrown around the inside of this vehicle, I feel like a pinball. A pinball that’s about to die.

Eventually (I’m not sure how long it takes exactly) the noise stops, and I carefully open my eyes. I’m lying flat on my back, and from the looks of things, I’m on one of the walls. The driver’s side one, from the looks of things. Either gravity has chosen the most inappropriate time to take the day off, or the truck flipped over somehow. I’d pick the latter, if I had to guess.

Okay...let’s see. I appear to be alright...that is, I can move all my limbs and I remember my name and there doesn’t seem to be any sharp stabbing pains anywhere. So hey, that’s a good thing. At least I’m still alive, right? Right.

I carefully drag myself into a sitting position and gaze around. Holy crap. I mean...wow. There is ice and glass everywhere, there’s smoke billowing from where the engine is (or where used to be, given the condition of the rest of this thing) and...blood. There’s blood on the driver’s side window. Not a whole bunch of it, mind you, but just enough for me to gasp.

And then...“Maggie?”

“R-Rinoa?” I croak, my voice sounding just as weak as hers does. “Are you okay?”

“...I’m alive, at least. You?”

“Besides very dizzy and bruised, yeah, I’m marvelous.” I slowly begin crawling up towards the front seats. Tough going seeing as how the world feels like it’s freaking spinning “Although remind me to give Shiva right old kick in the ass about this. Selphie? You alright?”

The fact that she doesn’t answer right away causes me to panic, and I scramble over, narrowly avoiding slicing my fingers on a piece of glass. I peer around the seat and...oh thank goodness. She’s alive...but bleeding. Lots of cuts on her arms, and a HELL of a bloody nose. Like, remember when Squall bonked me in the face with his gunblade? Yeah, Selphie’s is a good deal worse. But at least she’s alive too. We can thank our lucky stars for that, at least.

“Selphie?” I ask again. “Can you hear me?”

She nods slowly. I’d say she’s just in shock, if I had to hazard a guess. Not that I blame her.

“Okay.” I look over to Rinoa, who’s a bit cut up and bruised too, but otherwise not bad. “Can you move? I mean, you’re kind of strapped in sideways right now, but...”

She manages a pained smile. “I should be able to get out. Let’s get Selphie out first before I try anything.”

I nod. I just want to get out of this wreck. The fumes from the engine, combined with the disorientation of being in a freaking roll-over, are making me feel nauseous.

I shakily crunch to the back of the vehicle and work on getting the doors open. They’re a bit warped thanks to the crash, but after some pushing and swearing and threatening to kill the inanimate door (don’t look at me like that, it helps vent anger) I somehow get it open. I stumble out and can’t help but take some very deep, border-hyperventilation gulps of the fresh air.

I’m not surprised to see a couple local people coming over cautiously; I mean, it’s not everyday there’s a car accident in the middle of an ice explosion, is there? Especially on a pseudo-tropical island.

Speaking of which...the sky appears to have cleared up, and it’s once again a fabulously sunny day. Not sure if that means the battle’s over or not, although I can’t see Ramuh anywhere. Or Shiva, for that matter. Not that I’d really WANT to see her at the moment, but...

“Hey!” One of the locals (a balding, middle-aged man, from the looks of things) cries to me. “You alright, kid?”

I smile shakily and reply with a weary, “Not really.” I then point out the fact that I have two comrades still in the wreck that’ll need assistance getting out before stumbling around the side of the truck, where I promptly throw up on my shoes and break down in tears.

Yup, stiiiill wanna go home.

---

So, was it? Worth the wait, that is. I don’t think so, but I’m my own worst critic. I can safely say that I hate writing fight scenes even more than I did before, and I didn’t care for them much before either. But oh lord, this chapter nearly broke me. Nearly! I nearly quit the whole frigging story because of this. And I still don’t care much for the results...but that’s not important. What IS important is if you guys liked it. I try not to be hugely review-crazy (I used to be, but I don’t see the point anymore) but trust me, I need to know people still read this. Whether you liked it or hated it, drop me a line, would you? I just want to know if there’s a point to continue on; I do have some ideas for the chapters ahead, but what’s the point if no one will read them? Exactly. So again, I’m sorry it took so long, and I’m sorry if it wasn’t up to snuff. I’d like to guarantee that 52 will not take 13 months to finish, but with me, it’s hard to say. Well, until then, I suppose.