Disclaimer: Don't steal my story or I will hunt you down and kill you. Don't flame me or I will hunt you down and kill you. Come to think of it if you're going to flame me just go kill yourself and save me the trouble. For those of you who give me contsructive criticism I thank you very much and welcome you back at any time.

Thank you to Sasha and Aurora for co-writing this story with me.

The Attack of the Really Big Breasted Boys

Professor Snape scowled at Harry for what seemed like the thousandth time during Potions class. "Potter!" he snapped. "You and Weasley will be testing your potion today." Harry and Ron looked at each other nervously. They had been making truth potions which, once consumed, would make the drinker reveal all of their deepest secrets. When neither Harry or Ron moved Snape grew even more angry. "Now!" he snapped. Feeling incredibly scared, they both poured some of their potion into a glass and drank.

They paused, expectation building until they realized… nothing happened! They realized that the potion instead turned them into big-breasted women. Suddenly their shirt buttons popped and they were exposed to the entire class. Snape was very amused by this exasperating display of breasts because it was the first set he'd ever seen besides in "Witchy Bitches" magazines. Ron turned so deeply red his hair clashed horribly with his face. Then all of a sudden Harry and Ron slowly began to return to their normal figures.

As their fascinating chests deflated, the silence that had descended on the classroom was broken by the uproarious laughter of the Slytherin students. "Five points will be taken from Gryffindor for your highly inappropriate spell," bellowed Snape. Neither Harry or Ron had heard him though. They had already charged from the room, plotting to murder Snape for embarrassing them.

As they were running from the room they ran into Moaning Myrtle in the hallway. She told them about Peeves chasing her and trying to haunt her lavatory. She told them about how Peeves was throwing sanitary products through her head. They ignored her howling though, choosing instead to charge right through her, figuring she was already suitably occupied with Peeves to be insulted by their indiscretion.

They were wrong. Myrtle started screaming at the top of her lungs that Harry and Ron was sexually harassing her. All of a sudden Lockhart appeared. He gallantly leaped to Myrtle's rescue, declaring his presence. "I'll save you, have no fear! After all I won Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile award five times!"

Harry then denied these accusations, said that he'd give Lockhart an autographed picture to forget the whole event. He had also agreed to help with Lockhart's fan mail when all of a sudden his breasts grew back!

He promptly flopped onto his face because of sudden imbalance. Upon impact with the stone floor, he suddenly understood exactly why girls complained about sore breasts. Not that he would know about this though, because girls didn't talk to him, let alone about breasts and Hermione's lack of them never brought on much complaint. Lockhart took one look at Harry and decided that this was work from the Dark Lord and fled while screaming like a girl.

Harry decided he had had enough of this very bizarre day. He went up to Madame Pomfrey to neutralize the potion he had swallowed and left. He and Ron then headed back to their dormitory where they found Dobby sitting in their room. With a scream of frustration they ordered him out, deaf to his pleas. They fled up the dormitory stairs and went to bed where they slept happily ever after with dreams of each other's breasts.