A/N: Er. Coffee and depression produced this freak. However, I'd like to do more of these, so if anyone who accidentally reads this wants it, do... tell.

sOURGRAPEs ?

Remus : A little lump of rock in the sky
has me wrapped around its figurative finger.
I'm howling. With laughter.

Cedric: I, Hufflepuff Captain, prefect,
to all appearances a handsome and pleasant lad,
am still a minor character who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Snape: ... Let me think.
Ah, I have it. Yes, two words.
Sod. Off.

Hermione: In the end,
nobody except me
will ever actually have read 'Hogwarts: A History'.

Dumbledore: That will indeed be
the new password
after 'Raspberry Swirls'.

Draco: Harry bloody Potter
has three balls.
The third is called a Snitch.