Author: Angel Spirit PM
When Takuya's parents tell him they're getting a divorce, he turns to Kouji. Now it's a race against time to tell one another their true feelings and find a way to stay together before time runs out. Takouji prequel to Forevermore, revisions in progress.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Takuya K. & Kouji M./Koji - Chapters: 7 - Words: 49,630 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 02-14-04 - Published: 10-02-03 - id: 1542902
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: The muses would like to remind everyone that Angel Spirit doesn't own Digimon...just the plot of the fic.
Author's Notes: And yet another revised chapter! Though this one I deem as only partially revised because I only went through and deleted the lyrics...I'll end up coming back and changing some misspelled stuff (Kouichi's name from Koichi to Kouichi being one of those changes...LOL!). But to remind you all that there IS a sequel out to this called "Forevermore" that's actually nearing completion. I've hit a small snag in it but I know I'll be updating it again soon.
Warning: There is slash/yaoi in this fic. If you don't like male/male pairings then I suggest that you hit the back button to the top left of the corner there and run very, very far away..
Pairings: Takuya/Kouji, hintings of Kouichi/Izumi
Summary: It all comes down to one last night together...and that's all I'm saying here. Ja ne...Eternity
Author: Angel Spirit
Chapter VII: One Last Time
It had been a few days since the incident had happened...and no one had heard from Takuya since that night. They were worried about him...but everyone was also worried about Kouji as well. Kouji hadn't been able to sleep since that night. In fact, Kouji hadn't even left his bed...he was so out of it. No one was more worried about him then Koichi of course. Who was at the moment sitting outside with Izumi, who pulled her windbreaker closer to her as the wind started up again. Making it feel colder then what it really was. Neither of the two spoke, so absorbed in their thoughts. In a way though, neither of them needed to really speak...it was the comfort and the closeness that counted.
Koichi had no idea how long he and Izumi had been out there, but at one point his mother told him that dinner was ready...and invited Izumi to stay. As much as Izumi wanted too, she knew she needed to head home. Giving Koichi a quick hug, she departed and Koichi watched her disappear into the night before he turned and headed back into the apartment.
"How's he doing?" He asked, and his mother shook her head.
"I don't know what we're going to do with him Koichi...he's so...so..."
"Out of it?" Koichi whispered saying what he had been thinking just a few minutes ago, and his mother nodded.
"You could say that. With Takuya being gone, it's as though he's dropped further into himself. I truly had no idea that Kouji loved Takuya that much." Koichi shrugged at this...oh he had known how much Kouji loved Takuya-had known for a long time...since he had scanned Kouji's memories when he had once been Duskmon in the Digital World nearly a year ago now. Koichi hadn't known why he had scanned Kouji's memories-maybe because he had seen Kouji's image during one of their battles and wanted to know why Kouji looked so much like him. Wanted to know the truth as much as Kouji had. And when he had scanned Kouji's memories and thoughts as well, they had been of Takuya. Koichi was positive that Takuya didn't know that it had been love at first sight for Kouji.
"He's so good with hiding his feelings...and I can see why. Whenever he expresses them so deeply as he did to Takuya, things like this happen. He doesn't like getting hurt..." Koichi murmured, he hadn't meant to say it out loud, but he had-and the twin's mother agreed with him.
"True...but...that's part of life. Getting hurt along the way-it makes you stronger. Why don't you take some dinner up to him and see if he'll eat it?" Koichi agreed to do so as he took a tray and headed upstairs to Kouji's room, not even bothering to knock. He knew that Kouji always knew whenever it was him coming in. The room was dark as he slowly headed inside, balancing the tray as he did so. Kouji still had the two beds pressed together as they had been when Takuya had been staying there, Koichi realized this as he gently set the tray down onto the bedside table. Kouji looked to be asleep-but Koichi knew better...his twin wasn't going to fool him.
"Kouji...dinner. Come on, you've got to eat something. Takuya wouldn't want you to do this to yourself." He knew that last statement had hit it's mark, as he saw Kouji stiffen a bit. Koichi sat down on the bed and placed a gentle hand on Kouji's back as he rubbed it, feeling the tense muscles underneath slowly start to relax.
"Kouji...please talk to me?" Koichi continued to rub his twin's back, allowing him to relax fully under his touch. It was after he heard Kouji sigh when he finally saw his twin's dark blue gray eyes meet his own, and Koichi allowed a small smile to cross his lips.
"Hi." Kouji didn't say anything for a moment, but looked at the tray of food and sighed.
"Hi back...mom probably wants me to eat all of that, doesn't she?" He murmured, and Koichi chuckled and gave a curt nod of his head.
"You bet she does! She's worried about you Kouji...we all are worried about you-did you know that both Junpei and Izumi came by at one point today wanting to know how you were doing and why you still aren't in school?" Koichi was teasing, and Kouji figured that out as he gave him a light smile of his own and managed to sit up and lean his back against the pillows.
"Eh...really? I think I've almost missed two weeks now...the teacher's aren't going to like that." Koichi shook his head but pulled a bag off the floor and dumped it into his twin's lap, who looked at him with a surprised look, as Koichi gave him a smug look in return.
"Yeah, well, I took the opportunity of getting your locker assignment as well as getting your books and your assignments from your classes...Kouji, just be damned lucky that we've got the same classes!" Kouji's smile turned into a grin then as Koichi cuffed him gently alongside the head.
"Then that means you can help me do my homework and get caught up!" Kouji remarked, and Koichi snorted as he handed his twin a bowl of soup and a spoon.
"Yeah, right...it's just introductory crap, you'll get it all with no problem...it's next week's homework you've got to worry about!" When Kouji actually started to eat, Koichi sighed. He was glad that he hadn't had to spoon feed it to his twin, as he had been afraid that he might have to do that just to get Kouji to eat something-anything. As Kouji ate slowly, he noticed his twin looking at him at one point, and raised a questioning eyebrow.
"What?" Koichi just shrugged.
"Nothing...it's just that...well..." Kouji sighed and set the bowl down for a moment, glancing out at the window that Koichi's eyes were set on, looking out at the darkened world.
"I just have the feeling that he's not gone yet. You know?" Again, Kouji sighed, as Koichi joined his gaze so that they were both looking out at the gloomy weather.
"Kouji, you and I both know that he's gone. And you and I also both aren't sure when he'll be able to come back." Koichi saw his twin's eyes darken a bit, and he shook his head as he stood.
"I know that that is going to be a hard thing for you to get used to. But you can't go on living in denial all your life." With that, he left the room. He didn't see the tears that slowly started to fall from Kouji's eyes. Didn't hear the soft sobs that wracked his body as he curled up against a pillow, allowing himself to feel the many emotions that ran through him.
As much as he hated to admit it, his twin was right and had a point. Would he go so far as to make himself miserable for the rest of his life because his first love was gone?
No...not my first love...my soul mate-my only love. Kouji thought, his heart pounding wildly as he knew that what he had just realized then, was the utmost truth. Takuya Kanbara was his mind, body, heart, and soul-it all belonged to him.
Is this what heart break feels like? Because it surely feels like my heart has shattered into a million pieces. Tears threatened to come again, and as much as Kouji didn't want them to come, he allowed them to anyway. He was sure that he looked like a mess now anyway-his hair tangled and loose about his face-not having been washed for the past few days having lost it's normal shine...his dark blue gray eyes red from all the crying that he had been doing, and from what his mother and twin had been telling him, there were dark circles of exhaustion underneath his eyes as well, adding to how horribly pale he already looked. Kouji rubbed his face with a hand, rubbing grit and sleep out of his eyes as well.
'Takuya wouldn't want you doing this to yourself Kouji...' His twin's words had hit him as though he'd been doused with a big bucket of icy cold water. It hurt...only because Kouji knew that Koichi was right.
Takuya...Takuya-kun, I need you...now. Kouji thought miserably, as the drizzle soon turned into a much harder rain, the wind sweeping it toward him...but Kouji didn't care. He felt himself fall to his knees as he started to cry once again, leaning his back against the glass door, and bringing his knees up to his chest as he rested his head into his arms...
He sighed and turned his dark brown eyes out into the stormy night, deep in thought. He didn't hear Shinya knock on his door, and only knew he was there when he heard his younger brother call his name softly as he pulled him into a comforting hug.
Now this is funny...or at least, it should be...normally I'm the one who has to comfort Shinya! And now Shinya is the one comforting me! Takuya thought, as he gratefully hugged Shinya back.
"What's wrong Takky?" Shinya asked softly, as though he automatically knew that something was bothering Takuya. Takuya sighed and shook his head, looking out his bedroom window once more.
"I...I think it's Kouji. I don't know how Shinya, but somehow I can feel that he's miserable. He needs me-now." Shinya giggled a little bit as Takuya raised an eyebrow at him.
"You wanna know something Onnichan? Something that I've thought about your relationship with Kouji since you introduced him to me?" Takuya nodded, suddenly curious.
"I've always thought...that...that..." Suddenly Shinya actually blushed and looked away, unable to meet his brother's eyes. But Takuya was going to pry it out of him anyway.
"Ok Shinya, you started to tell me and now you've got to finish it!" Shinya sighed and nodded his head, but adverting his eyes to anywhere but his older brother's face.
"I...always thought that you and Kouji were soul mates-Tomoki too!" This caused Takuya to blink rapidly a few times, as his mind processed through what Shinya had told him.
"Soul mates?" He murmured, and Shinya nodded still looking embarrassed and started to explain.
"You two were always together...I don't even think that you realized that. He always went to your games, and you were always helping him study for his tests even though we all know that you hate studying for your tests...any test actually. But you'd always be there to help him, or to be with him, and vice a versa. You'd always jump at the chance-and after awhile so would he. Maybe that's why you feel as though Kouji needs you now-maybe because you two are closer together then what you both realize...that you have some kind of bond. A bond that let's you know that Kouji's probably miserable because he knows that you're not gone yet-yet everyone has probably been telling him that you are gone. He knows you're still here-and he's calling out to you. So you know what I think?"
It took Takuya a few minutes to respond, shocked at the fact that his little brother had realized something that he hadn't...until now.
"What?" He whispered, feeling unwanted tears coming into his eyes as he willed them not to fall.
"I think that you should go to him." Shinya whispered, and hugged Takuya again.
"Dad'll kill me...he doesn't want me anywhere around Kouji, and if he finds out..." Takuya allowed his voice to trail off, not wanting to think about the consequences. But Shinya only raised his eyebrows at him, and crossed his ar,s over his chest in an act of defiance.
"Takuya...you're my big brother, and I know you. If you really want to go to Kouji, then you'll go to Kouji despite the consequences. Besides...I've got a plan that'll help you so that dad won't know you've left. I've invited Tomoki over for awhile...and when I last talked to him he had just finished his second coke-so he's going to be plenty hyper." Shinya gave Takuya a wink and pointed to his rain coat.
"And you might want that. I'll see you later Oniichan." The doorbell rang, signaling Tomoki's arrival, and Takuya slowly shook his head as he stood up from his kneeling position and pulled on his shoes, grabbing the raincoat that Shinya had pointed too. Shinya was right...if he needed-no-wanted to see Kouji, then why in the hell was he letting his father stopping him? He had to say an official goodbye...and if Shinya and Tomoki were willing to be a good enough distraction so his father wouldn't find out that he was gone, then so be it.
His mother was at work...and if Takuya left then that meant that his father would have to look after Shinya and a very hyper Tomoki...and from what Takuya had experienced, a hyper Tomoki would mean that his father would have his hands full, probably never realizing that Takuya had even left. He allowed himself to grin as he heard Tomoki tell a really horrible joke, and then suggest that he and Shinya play cops and robbers...with his father being the robber. Takuya chuckled a little as he heard his father protest, while he allowed himself to slip out...unnoticed.
It was raining...but a little rain wasn't going to stop Takuya from seeing the one he loved...from seeing his soul mate.
And he instantly threw himself at Takuya, wrapping his arms as tightly as he could around the brunette.
"I knew...I knew you were still here...oh god Takuya..." He moaned, as Takuya held him back with equal tightness. And was it just his imagination, or sleep clouded mind, or did he actually feel Takuya's body shaking against his own.
"Let's get you out of the rain and get these doors closed...come on love." Kouji started at what Takuya had just called him, but he felt himself smile in the first time since Takuya had left him that night. He felt Takuya lift him gently, and carry him inside, setting him on the bed while he left for a few seconds to close the balcony doors. Kouji heard himself whimper as Takuya left his side. Only long enough to fetch a towel and a pair of dry, clean pajamas.
As Takuya helped him change, and towel dried his hair so that it was mostly dry, he chided Kouji when he saw the uneaten food on the tray.
"Kouji...when was the last time you've ate something?" All Kouji did was shake his head, looking miserable as Takuya sighed and tested the soup...still warm. Not as warm as Kouji would've probably liked it, bit warm enough so that he could still enjoy it.
"Come on...will you eat? For me?" Kouji felt himself practically melt as Takuya gave him the puppy dog look-the one that he was never able to resist, and so he nodded his head, allowing Takuya to practically feed him the soup-he doubted that he'd have the energy to do it anyway-and besides, it meant that he was able to keep Takuya there with him that much longer.
Eventually the soup was gone, and the bread that had come with it eaten. Only then, did Takuya allow Kouji to finally cuddle up next to him as he pulled the sheets and blankets up close around their bodies.
"Better?" Kouji heard Takuya murmur as he only felt himself nod into Takuya's chest. Takuya chuckled a little bit, as he held Kouji close.
"I miss you...already." As Kouji whispered this, Takuya kissed his forehead, and then placed a gentle kiss on his lips.
"I'm not gone yet." He whispered back, and Kouji nodded again, letting out a small sigh.
"Not until you're fast asleep-I promise." Takuya murmured, and this seemed to be alright with Kouji as he cuddled up next to him a little bit closer, wrapping his arms around Takuya. They didn't speak-there was no need for words, and the silence was comforting, filled with love.
Blaming himself, Koichi slowly headed up the small flight of stairs and paused in front of Kouji's bedroom door-silence. Was Kouji asleep? Maybe...but Koichi decided to go ahead and check on him anyway. If he was asleep, he'd whisper his apology anyway and remove the tray.
Going with his decision, he opened the door softly...and was very surprised by what he saw.
"I don't believe it." He whispered, but he held a smile on his face. His twin had actually ate the dinner that he had left him...and at the moment, Kouji looked to actually be sleeping peacefully-in the arms of Takuya Kanbara.
Takuya opened his eyes a little, glancing toward Koichi's direction as he moved forward to get the tray that was on the bedside table.
"What don't you believe?" He asked, a small smile on his face as Koichi just shook his head.
"I don't know...I thought that you had gone already. But you seem to always come back whenever my twin needs you-like now." All Takuya did was give a little nod.
"You're not mad at me, are you?" He whispered, and Koichi shook his head fiercely-how could he be mad at him? None of this was Takuya's fault!
"No...I'm not mad at you in the least bit! If it's anyone who I should be angry at, it's with your father for being the incredible jackass that he is!" Takuya gave him a small smile at this.
"Thanks. I thought that you and everyone else were mad at me for what happened a few nights ago. I'm a little mad at myself actually...what I did was unfair to Kouji. I think that's why I think that everyone is mad at me...and I don't think that I'd be here now if my little brother, of all people, hadn't talked some sense into me." Koichi chuckled, and placed a gentle hand on Takuya's shoulder giving it a light squeeze.
"I wish with all my heart that you didn't have to leave. But to let you know, you can call me anytime-or Izumi to check up on Kouji..." He let his voice trail off, as he didn't speak what he was thinking afterward...but he knew that he and Takuya were both thinking the same thing. His father would be cruel enough to not even allow him to call Kouji. But he was planning on at least doing what Koichi was telling him to do. His mother had secretly given him a cell phone that his father didn't know about-and as far as Takuya was concerned was never going to know about-so that it would be a way for Takuya to call home and check up on everyone without his father knowing. Not calling Kouji was going to be used as a precaution-in case his father did somehow find out about his cell phone. He didn't want his father to find out that he was calling his boyfriend behind his orders-he didn't want to get into anymore trouble then he already was...
"I know. I wish that too...I told Kouji that I'd stay until he was fast asleep-and even though he is asleep, I'm going to wait until I can move without waking him...you don't mind, do you?" Takuya whispered, as Koichi took the tray off of the bedside table, shaking his head as he slowly backed out.
"Nah. Right now, Kouji looks the happiest he's been since that night. Stay as long as you can Takuya. Somehow, I have the feeling that your love for Kouji isn't over...we'll all cross paths again." Nodding at Koichi as he watched while Kouji's lookalike slipped out of the room, closing the door as softly as he had opened it, Takuya wrapped his arms around Kouji once more, allowing his eyes to slowly close...
'Sleep well love...I'll always be here, even though I'm far away. My heart will always belong to you...will always protect you. We're soul mates Kouji...bound to be together forever. And though we'll be apart for a little while, I'll find my way back to you...my father can't keep us apart forever. Just remember how much I love you...for I'll love you for an eternity.'
Kouji slowly awoke to see the sun pouring through the windows, and moaned softly. He didn't feel as tired as he had...but he remembered those words clearly, as though they had just been said last night. In truth, he knew that he had been sleeping for quite awhile...and he knew that Takuya was now long gone-probably in New York. But that wouldn't stop Kouji from loving him. And those words would stay with him, and comfort him when he needed it.
"I'll love you forever Takuya. No one else will have my heart-ever." He whispered, and he snuggled into the pillows for a moment or two, savoring Takuya's sweet scent that still resided there. He decided that he'd never wash that pillow case-not until he saw Takuya again anyway.
Kouji knew he couldn't hide from the world forever. Takuya was gone-he'd have to face it sooner or later. Getting up out of bed, he stretched and decided to head for a hot shower...he hadn't had one in awhile, and knew that he needed it. After drying his hair and getting dressed, Kouji felt somewhat like a human being, and even felt a little hungry.
He headed downstairs, surprising both his mother and his twin. He'd woken up early enough, so that Koichi hadn't left for school yet. Koichi grinned at him, and he grinned back.
"Hungry Kouji?" The twins mother asked, and Kouji nodded as he took a seat across from his twin, as Koichi winked at him.
"Welcome back." All Kouji did was nod at the greeting, as their mother handed him a cup of tea and continued to make breakfast.
"You don't have to go to school today if you don't want to Kouji, since it's a Friday and all...you can start on Monday, and make it a fresh week." But Kouji shook his head, grinning a little despite himself as she saw that he wasn't going to take him up on her offer, and raised an eyebrow.
"Thanks mom. Really. But...I just think that I need to pick myself back up and move on...and I think that going back to school will help me." She only nodded at him, as Kouji hungrily ate his breakfast and grabbed his schoolbag awhile later, following Koichi out the door.
"I'm glad you're wanting to move on Kouji...but you won't forget about Takuya...right?" His twin almost sounded panicked, and Kouji grinned a little and shook his head.
"Nah...I'll never forget Takuya. He'll always have my heart. But I can't wait for him forever. He'll come back to me, I know that much. And when he does, it might take us awhile to rekindle our love-but that doesn't mean that I'll forget him. Trust me that much, alright Koichi?"
Koichi nodded as Kouji decided to change the subject.
"You know, I never did get all that homework you got me finished..." Kouji said, allowing a small mischievous glance to be directed toward his twin, who laughed and pushed him playfully away.
"And let me guess, you want me to help you catch up, am I right?" He teased, as Kouji smiled.
"Well...can I tell you that you're the greatest twin in the whole wide world?" Koichi smiled back and nodded.
"Uh huh, keep on going Kouji!" The bantering between the two twins continued all the way to school, until they met up with Junpei and Izumi in the entrance. Izumi ran up and gave Kouji a tight hug, welcoming him back as Junpei just smiled at him and nodded, Kouji returned the nod as he continued to beg his twin for help with the homework, until Izumi took pity on him and told him that she'd help him, causing Koichi to laugh and say that she was too gullible until they both agreed to help Kouji catch up.
As they entered the High School building before the bell rang, Kouji turned really quickly, squinting a little bit from the sun as he stared out into the grounds...was it just his imagination, or did he feel like he was being watched? When Koichi urged him to hurry up or he'd be late, Kouji just shook his head as he ignored the watched feeling he had had since a block away from the High School, and ran after his twin who was leaving him behind calling out to him to wait up for him.
Little did Kouji know, his feeling was right one hundred percent of the way...he was being watched...by a tall figure hidden in the shadows by the High School. The sunlight hit the figure enough so that one could see that he was holding a single object...a bandanna, loosely woven around his fingers.
You think you're ridden of me Kouji Minomoto but you've only just begun to know of my existence. Eventually, you will be mine. And now that your boyfriend is gone, that task will be all the more easier. You'll have forgotten about me after awhile...but I'll always be watching you. You won't remember me or know of my intentions until you least expect it, and it's too late. So keep your friends and your brother close Kouji...because I doubt that even they can save you this time.
With a low chuckle that sounded almost sinister the figure hidden in the shadows smelled the sweet lingering scent on the bandanna, and then placed it into it's coat pocket. Then, placing both hands into the coat pockets, it walked out of the shadows and directly into the High School as the last warning bell rang.
Ending Notes: Ugh...grumbles I really liked this chapter better with the lyrics than without...continues to grumbles But as I've said before, what can one do? I know there are still tons of mistakes in this chapter but all I've gone and done was delete the lyrics for now. The page breaks are where the lyrics used to be. I'll come back and fix everything else, I promise. I might find another place to host this fic complete with lyrics...or...just email me if you want the lyric version...