I just want to do something different for myself: a bunch of very short
scenes. It may not tell a direct narrative. I mainly want to focus on the
feeling of the situation, not the story itself. I've wanted to start a
project like this for a while and I hope I get some good feedback. Anyway.
Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Wing. Never will.
The sun was setting and Heero became warier in the approaching darkness.
Everything about his life revolved around caring for and protecting the
only real woman in his life. If Relena was safe he could sleep at night,
but he never knew if she was truly safe. When she was not by his side, at
night in her house, or when he was forced to take a vacation occasionally,
he felt all rigid and ill at ease. Her life was everything; her peace was
maintained through her presence. Until politically things stabilized he
could never relax. Her office door opened and she walked up to the window
facing towards the setting sun that Heero had not spared a glance towards.
Her hair lit up in shades of red. It was as if she were covered in blood.
Heero fought the urge to pull her away from the window, as he imagined
Relena mangled, stained, beyond his control.
"It's very beautiful. I never take the time to just look. But I might as
well, considering I have such a wonderful view in this building." She
turned and smiled at him. As usual, he was stoic. "Thank you for waiting,
I just had more to go over than I thought I did."
"It's my job." Curt. Official. How very like Heero. Relena sighed a
little and then smiled again. For a moment she seemed to consider
something. Biting her lip reflectively, she seemed to search her mind for
a decision with words just perched on her lips.
"You are always so tense Heero. I worry about you." Relena worry about
him? What a funny twist. She was the one who needed protection, she was
the one the world looked to time and again when peace seemed at its most
fragile and yet in her heart she still found compassion for him. As always
she was ideal in ways that he could not even begin to approach.
"Hn." He had no real response. He began to walk away, and as he turned he
didn't see her brow furrow or her look of intense anxiety, but he did feel
her presence behind him. She was walking closer than usual, and then he
felt something in the air around him stir. He halted as her hand brushed
his shoulder, unknowingly causing muscles to twitch. If he had had just a
little less presence of mind he might have broken her hand for something
like that, but that would mean forgetting Relena herself - a feat he long
ago gave up as impossible.
"Just let me do this for you, please?" Her question was so plaintive. Her
hand so gently resting on him was more effective than any restraint ever
applied to him. [Don't you know I can never refuse you, Relena?] The words
were loud and unwelcome in his mind, shouting out a weakness he refused to
show. As it was, he did not move or speak. ". . . I'll take that as a
yes." He felt her smile, as she worked his jacket off. For a moment she
paused, then tugged at the gun holster he wore over his shirt. Naturally
she would hesitate to touch his guns, so he removed them for her. Reaching
in front of him she tugged at and took off his tie. At this point he
refused to guess at what she was doing. To hope for the impossible would
only cause him the kind of emotional pain he had supposedly numbed himself
too. Yet, the air around them didn't feel sexual. . .
He almost gasped when her hands moved over his back muscles, prodding and
making circular patterns. She was giving him a back massage. Those
delicate hands and relatively weak muscles were trying to ease the
countless hours of stress caught up in him on her behalf. As always she
was something else. Wherever she was and whatever she did, there was
always the desire to give. All he could do was kill for her, but in some
ways he couldn't even do that anymore. It was she who changed him from
murderer to protector. She was change. She was life. [And that's why you
love her. . .] It was a rogue thought; he quickly smothered it lest he
taint the purity of what she was doing for him. Instead he focused in on
those slim fingers currently working away weeks of built in tension in his
"What's wrong? You twitched. Am I- am I hurting you?" It was a laughable
question, and he indeed barked out a quick chuckle.
"No. I don't think you could hurt me if you tried."
"I'm glad." Her arms wrapped around him and he felt her cheek rest against
his back as she hugged him. So close to her, yet as always he was turned
away from her. It seems as if they were always like that: close and yet
missing each other somehow. As always, it was he that maintained the
barrier. And true to character it was him that pulled away to pick up his
gun holsters. Relena wondered if she would start crying. Heero was so
distant and she never knew the way to reach him. Maybe it wasn't possible
to reach him.
As they sat in the car on the way to her house, Heero saw her sad face and
felt like he needed to tell her something. Gripping the steering wheel, he
searched for the words. She had to know that she was too good for him.
That he fought against his almost scary obsession with her in his most
private moments. But all he could manage to get out was simply. . .
"Thank you, Relena." He leaned towards her, inhaling the lingering scent
of her hair. She looked up at him sharply, no longer fixated on the stars
just coming out in the clear sky. "I feel much better. Hn. Yes." A
natural smile spread slowly across her face. Daringly, she caressed his
face with one hand. He didn't move.
"Anytime Heero. You have more knotted back muscles than anyone else I
know, and you could use some time to let go." The car stopped and she
stepped out. Another day and he had protected this precious creature who
even now tempted him in a vague way he would not allow himself to respond
to. "If you ever need to let go. . . I'll be here for you. It's my job to
look after you, you know." She stepped away towards her house leaving