Note: I do not own any of the characters what so-ever.. Mr.T is an actual
person who belongs to himself.. Mr.T's van is copyrighted by whoever is
head of the A-Team company. U.S.S. Enterprise and its characters are
copyrighted by whatever company own Star Trek. Stupid Cube like structure
with androids, cyborgs, and robots is copyrighted by the people who own
Star Trek also. Lastly, Zero-Wing stuff, like the dialogue, Zero-Wing
fighter jet, unknown Zero-Wing pilot, and CATs are copyrighted by their
creators. And yes, I did make up Planet Nebuland, I hope atleast.
U.S.S. Enterprise communications: DECK..
"What did you say!" the spine headed brown alien/guy yells .
"Foo'! You wanna fight with me! Cuss no-one wins against Mr.T!" Mr.T tells
the Spine headed brown alien/guy.
"Do you know who I am! I'm Wolf, head of this ship's offensive-" spine
headed dude says, revealing his name as Wolf, before getting interupted.
"This is enough! I will not tolerated this! Go to your room!" Captain
Picard tells the spine headed brown alien/guy/freak/WOLF.
"Yes sir.." the spine headed guy replies, then leaves the deck.
"Okay, we know your name is Mr.T.. State what kind of weapons you have on
your craft!" Captain Picard says.
"I've got torpedoes and that's about it!" Mr.T replies.
Suddenly, Captain Picard's sidekick, Commander Riker (the guy with the
beard and stuff) enters the deck.
"Check it out! Some human from October 6th, 2003 asked his dad for my
name!" Commander Riker replies.
"What?" Mr.T and Captain Picard asks.
"Nothing, now, lets check and see if you have any offense weapons on your
craft!" Commander Riker says.
Some woman next to Riker checks Mr.T's ship.
"This ship seems to be very old, I can't check it! The only contact we can
make with this ship is by communications." the woman says.
"Mr.T, do you mind if we investegate your ship? We understand you have no
idea what we are doing. But the U.S.S. Enterprise is part of the U.S.S.
federation." Captain Picard tells Mr.T..
"This ain't a ship! This is my van with sub-marine gear! And it goes hella
fast!" Mr.T responds.
"Just please let us check your "van" as you call it." Commander Riker says.
"Oh okay." Mr.T responds.
Commander Riker walks toward the pond.
"Beam me up Scottie!" Commander Riker says.
"Who the hell is Scottie?" the woman asks.
"Spok, don't you know of Scottie?" Commander Riker asks Captain Picard.
"You seem to have your history mixed up, this is the U.S.S. Enterprise, you
are thinking of the last generation, just get your job done!" Captain
Picard tells Riker.
"Oh alright.." Riker replies.
Planet Nebuland: capitol "Pie Ass Destrub"
The shuttle doors open, and the citizens watch the scientist and CATs walk
"Hurray, the scientist's rumors are true!" Citizens scream.. CATs and the
scientist walk toward the debate tower and enter it. CATs is welcomed.
"Hello Gob Schneeedoor!" some debate people say to the scientist, revealing
"Yeah yeah.. I get the idea.." Gob Schneeedoor replies (the scientist).
"Who is that guy next to you?" a fellow debater says.
"CATs my name!" CATs responds.
"He's not good at speaking English, but he makes good points." Gob
CATs doesn't like the fact everyone is speaking English perfectly.
"People ever not English speak?" CATs asks.
"Yes.. But this is the capital of the planet.. We all have to speak PERFECT
English at this capital, follow me, I'll show you the debate room, a debate
is about to start soon." Gob Schneeedoor tells CATs.
They walk up to an elevator door and it opens, quickly Gob Schneeedoor and
CATs enter the elevator before the doors close.
"This may take a while, there are over 80 floors in this building." Gob
Schneeedoor tells CATs..
Elevator music goes on..
"Music odd.. Why music soothing and silent? Music be loud!" CATs tells Gob
"Elevator music has always been like that.. Its for people who are afraid
of heights and stuff.." Gob Schneeedoor replies.
Back in space: the middle of nowhere..
"Full ship needs!" the pilot says.. Obviously mispelling and pronouncing
"Wait... Power Solar!" the pilot says, then hits a button and suddenly, the
ship gains fuel by making solar panels rise..
"Am saved I!" the pilot says.
Suddenly, a big, grey, cube thing with lots of polls and wires is seen. And
its gets bigger and bigger.
On board the big grey cube thing: deck..
Androids, cyborgs, and robots are seen.. In a crappy deck, very dark with
pipers and metalic walls surrounding them. The captain quickly notices the
"What the hell is that! Get me communications, now!" the captain, who is a
a robot presses a button, and a vid-screen appears..
In that stupid Zero-Wing ship:
A vid-screen appears in front of the pilot, a very small vid-screen.
"Last communications at!" the pilot yells with happiness!
On board the big grey cube thing: deck (again)
"That motha ****** is huge boss!" an android yells to the captain.
"That thing has human flesh! No mechanical peices in it! Should we attack
it because of flesh?" asks a robot.
"No.. I have flesh to you know.. He might be a cyborg like me.. But that
creature is huge, all we can see is his belly on our vid-screen." the
captain cyborg replies.
"Who are you! What is your species!" the cyborg yells at the vid-screen..
"Am name I not know!" the pilot of the Zero-Wing replies (except only you
can see his belly jiggles on the vid-screen)..
"Sure.. That guy speaks horrible English! It could be possible that thing
may be a android from a single century again that can communicate in all
languages, but the dialogue gets messed up." a cyborg replies.
"Let me tells him.. OOHh alalal fudgetie tute so moi atie con moonca?" the
captain asks in an unknown language.
"What you say?" the Zero-Wing pilot asks.
"You are wrong partner. He has no translator chip!" the captain tells the
"Also, I said, Where is my dinner be-ach and who ate my candy?" the captain
says to the vid-screen.
"Confuse am I is..." the Zero-Wing pilot replies (with his belly jiggling
of course on the vid-screen)..
Mr.T's Van: Inside foo'
Commander Riker beams into Mr. T's van.. Suddenly, the A-Team theme plays..
Ba-ba baa ba-baaa, dum dum-dum-dum-DUUUM! Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba-ba bum! Ba--
-- (okay, I'll stop)
"Dang that's coo'!" Mr.T says when he sees Commander Riker teleport in..
"Where are your torpedos?" Commander Riker asks.
"In the back foo'!" Mr.T says..
Commander Riker walks behind all the chairs to the back of the van..
"Oh MY GOD!" Commander Riker yells in his little badge..
U.S.S. Enterprise: Deck
"What is it, does he have... 'Weapons of mass destruction' in there?"
Captain Picards asks.
Mr.T's Van foo'
"These torpedos are.. VERY OLD! I've heard of these in history books about
the centuries 1900 and 2000 AD!" Commander Riker says.
"What, they ain't good enough to take enemies out? I can beat em up my self
usually! Why buy big expensive torpedos when I'm gonna kick the enemies
asses anyway!" Mr.T tells Commander Riker.
"You're in Space Mr.T, and besides that, you have no teleportation/beam
equipment to fight your enemies in hand-to-hand combat!" Commander Riker
"That was way after the time the volcano erupted! I couldn't buy a single
thing foo'!" Mr. T tells Commander Riker.
Commander walks in the back and finds lots of big empty jugs of Milk!
"What the heck is with all these jugs?" Commander Riker asks.
"Foo'! I always drink my Milk! One of the reason's I'm so strong besides my
gold!" Mr.T responds.
"It turns out there are no deadly weapons on this ship... And it seems like
Mr.T was telling the truth, believe it or not.." Commander Riker says to
his stupid badge..
"Wait a second, how did you respond to our communications?" Commander Riker
asks when he notices Mr.T doesn't have a vid-screen system.
"Foo'! I got myself a radio system, I just pick up my little radio speaker
and talk! And on my radio system, I got a nice little T.V." Mr.T responds,
pointing at the small T.V. on his radio system..
"Well, its against U.S.S. federation rules to allow someone to stay in
space with little equipment, you seemed to have no milk or food left
anymore.. Mr.T, can you drive your ship inside the shuttle room of the
U.S.S. Enterprise?" Commander Riker asks.
"What's in it for me?" Mr.T asks.
"The icecream you wanted earlier I guess.." Commander Riker replies.
"Hell yeah! I'll go in there!" Mr.T responds.
On the very top of the U.S.S. Enterprise (the saucer part), a hatch opens.
"Watch this!" Mr.T responds.
Quickly, Mr.T's van drives into the hatch without a problem and the hatch
U.S.S. Enterprise: Loading and Unloading Shuttle area..
Quickly, the doors of Mr.T's van open quickly..
"How did you do that so fast?" Commander Riker says.
"You might of not been at that place at the time on my T.V., so I'll repeat
this line.. My van is hella fast!" Mr.T tells Commander Riker.
"Now where's my icecream foo'?" Mr.T asks Commander Riker.
Planet Nebuland: Capitol "Pie Ass Destrub"; in the debate tower..
"So, what were elevators like in your area?" Gob Schneeedoor asks.
"Would I lots of screaming hear! Blood over all walls! Music not exist,
except dying people screams! Unsafe were elevators!" CATs tells Gob
Elevator doors open at the 90th floor, and a bunch of politicians are seen
everywhere, they look at Gob Schneeedoor and CATs and they happen to be
"Gob Schneeedoor, it seems you were right about survivors in that area!" a
politician says in exciting..
"Tell them your name.." Gob Schneeedoor says to CATs..
"CATs name my is.." CATs replies..
"What the! Did you hear him!" a politician replies in disgust..
"You don't understand, he's a good debater.. He makes excellent points! You
can't judge someone because they can't speak English properly, and CATs is
going to prove it! In fact, he has plans to do something about this "always
speak English perfectly" thing.." Gob Schneeedoor replies..
"Now cates, walk behind that big tall desk-like structure with the
microphone." Gob Schneeedoor tells CATs..
CATs walks behind the booth, and taps on the microphone.. Hundreds of
politicians are looking at him..
Back at that cube thing: deck
"What ever he is.. We need to get him in hear.." the cyborg captain tells
"Oh bloody hell!" an android says..
"What ever your name is, please enter our ship! Its the cube like thing!"
the cyborg captain yells in the vid-screen..
"Scam be might! I want not do go in! Bomb somebody set me up!" the Zero-
Wing Pilot says (belly jiggling on the screen of course)
"I knew this would happen Captain, now give me some Crunch!" a cyborg
"I will not give you my crunch.. Now we need to capture that creature for
analysis!" the captain cyborg says.
"Capture! NOOO!! Hate capture I!" the Zero-Wing pilot yells..
"Send out the troops! Don't kill him! He'll make a good analysis!" the
cyborg captain yells..
Space Arena: (in other words, I'm to lazy to switch between ship every
Three garbage can ships fly out of the giant cube!
Suddenly, the Zero-Wing Pilot stops firing lasers..
"Captain, he's hostile!" an android pilot yells in his communication
"Damn it android friend! Don't let him escape! And don't fire! Use your
hook-shot weapons, there the best non-lethal weapon available to sure
capture the pilot!" the captain cyborg yells..
The first garbage can ship fire a hook, quickly, the Zero-Wing fighter
fires lasers and destroys the hook.
"Ship 1's hook is disable captain!" yells an android on the pilot deck..
Ships 2 & 3 fire their hooks, but the Zero-Wing fighter quickly fires at
"Deploy the oil weapons, now!" the cyborg captain tells them..
"But sir, those are untested, it could help the enemy, or blow up the
targetted ship if the pilots keeps try fire.." pilots of the garbage cans
"Just do it!" the captain yells.. Then quickly he turns on his vid-screen
to the Zero-Wing pilot..
"You have no idea who we are! We killed many pilots! And we are going to
spare your life! Is this how you'll treat us? If you continually escape
even after the oil weapons, we will quickly use this mother ship's torpedos
immediately, destroying your ship to smithereens!" the cyborg captain
"Freedom! Lie you are do!" the Zero-Wing pilot says (belly jiggling
Quickly, the oil in big bags fly toward the Zero-Wing ship, then they hit
the Zero-Wing fighter's weapon system..
"Can't lasers fire make!" the Zero-Wing pilot says.
Oil bags fly into the ships exhaust engine/boosters..
"Escape can not I do now! Must free I now, oil shake off!" the Zero-Wing
"Sir, the tested weapons have succeeded!" the android says..
"Captain, he's about to commit suicide!" a cyborg yells..
"Listen! I have no idea where you can from! But we are not trying to kill
you! If you continually try to fire at us with your weapon system jammed,
the system will blow up killing you! Its up to you, give up and live.. Or
keep trying to kill yourself and die!" the cyborg captain yells in the vid-
Quickly, the Zero-Wing pilot quits.
"Up give I!" the Zero-Wing pilot says.
"Good, your life will be spared.." the cyborg captain says..
"Now your ship won't be damage, and we'll real you in!" the cyborg captain
Quickly, the garbage can ships fly toward the Zero-Wing fighter, attach to
it like magnets, and fly towards the cube like ship..
To be continued:
So, it turns out the U.S.S. Enterprise people and Mr.T have gotten along
(well, except that spine headed guy Wulf/Wolf). CATs is being treated very
well and can't speak English properly still. Plus, the Zero-Wing pilot has
been captured by some cube like ship with androids (that are probally
enemies of the U.S.S. Enterprise). But will Mr.T become a help to the
U.S.S. Enterprise? What about CATs, will he destroy the English language
and kill people? Finally, what will happen to that stupid Zero-Wing pilot?
Find out next time on "All Your English Destroyed By Us."
End Note1: What the drugs the Zero-Wing pilot took will not be revealed for
what it was made out of, we can claim it as magic or a small plot enabling
End Note2: I urge you to get any fans of Mr.T and Star Trek who like
fanfiction on fanfiction.net to read this.. I can not copy this as the
rules say into the Mr.T and Star Trek sections of fanfiction.net.. I just
happened to put it in Zero-Wing because CATs is the main villian..