WARNING: This is a SATIRE, meaning that although most of the characters (who all make a BRIEF appearance in some way or another) are BASICALLY in character, the two main focuses, Asuka and Shinji, are WAY out of character (especially Shinji who barely even resembles his real self from Evangelion, although some people may like the fact that his really cynical and witty, considering there aren't too many Shinji fans out there...but, yeah Asuka's REALLY bad, too, though, with the whole ooc thing). But, as I stated before, this is a SATIRE and it simply won't work if Shinji and Asuka were *in* character (just trust me; it wouldn't). Besides, it's just supposed to be funny, anyways (think British dry humor), so don't take it too seriously!

Also, this story is REALLY just about Shinji and Asuka (or, well, some really strange versions of them), so don't expect to see everyone else in it a lot (they are all in it, though, but, as I said before, it's brief-not that the story is going to be all that long anyway-there will be fifty chapters, but the chapters are about a page each, at the most-I'll probably post five chapters a day). The third main character would be Rei and she doesn't even come close to how much Shinji and Asuka are in it, so...

As an additional note, I am a REALLY big fan of Evangelion and all it's characters (I'm even a really big Shinji fan, too, so ha!), so even though it may seem like I'm verbally bashing the show and characters (which, in essence, I kind of am), don't take it all too offensively, please! This is just a satire and all of it's should be taken as some good fun!

And now, I present to you, "The Long Road to Eden," starring Asuka Langley Sohryu and Shinji Ikari as they both casually and cynically begin their journey to find Eden (or just travel around aimlessly across the wasteland that is the "new world" considering they doubt Eden even exists anyway)...

Scene 1:

Asuka's Title: "I feel terrible."

Shinji's Title: "Yeah, whatever, Eve."

[Scene opens a couple days after End of Evangelion left off. Asuka is sitting on the beach as Shinji is looking out at the red sea where Rei's rotting body floats. It is dawn]

Asuka: I feel terrible.

Shinji: Must you keep saying that?

Asuka: YES.

Shinji: I told you, I'm working on it.

Asuka: You've been saying that for the last two days.

Shinji: Well…I don't know how to fix it yet. I just sort of have to think my way out of it, I guess…that's how I got us here in the first place…I think.

Asuka: So you're just going to THINK the people back? Oh, that makes me feel SO much better.

Shinji: Well, at least I'm trying, which is more than I can say about you.

Asuka: Whatever. I'm hungry…

Shinji: Yeah, me, too, now that you mention it. At least the first time the world began they had the Garden of Eden and plenty of food. All we get is THIS [gestures to the wasteland around them].

Asuka: Maybe this isn't the beginning of the world. Maybe we're still at the end of the world and the new world doesn't begin until we both starve to death.

Shinji: That's an interesting way to look at it.

Asuka: And, I mean, it's not like mankind's population is going to go anywhere anyway with just us two here.

Shinji: Well, I thought we could-

Asuka: Ha! Don't kid yourself, Shinji.

Shinji: I figured as much. You know, Asuka, I've been thinking.

Asuka: Yeah, Shinji?

Shinji: It was pretty stupid of Rei to put the fate of the entire world into my hands, especially considering I wasn't all that sane at the time. You'd think she'd pick someone who was a bit more emotionally stable than me.

Asuka: Yeah, well, we all know that wonder girl wasn't all that bright. Or should I say LILLITH? [rolls her eyes at the name; then, she rises] Come on, Adam, let's get out of here. I'm sure if we start wandering around we'll find something to eat somewhere. Either that, or we'll waste what little energy we have left and die quicker.

Shinji: Yeah, whatever, Eve. This place is starting to bore me anyhow.

Next Scene:

Asuka's title: "It's only natural that you'd freak out and stuff."

Shinji's title: "Yeah, it is kind of nauseating now that I think about it."