RANMA 1/2 : Best Laid Plans...

A lea² Production

An R1/2 FanFic by Reia "the Great"

DISCLAIMER and AUTHOR'S NOTE:

um, it's pretty obvious I don't own any of Ranma 1/2, so I

won't even bother trying. besides, where would that get me? Oo

--

PATHETIC. Everyone was so pathetic. Yuka and Sayuri came to this

conclusion one Saturday afternoon. The two exchanged disgusted

glances and shook their heads synonimously.

"Blind. That's what they are -- blind!" Yuka exclaimed, making a

sweeping gesture with her hand. Sayuri giggled.

"Um, actually one of them IS physically sorta blind," Sayuri

pointed out. Yuka flashed her an expression of amusement and

annoyance.

The scene was Furinkan High school, on the field. Yuka and Sayuri

was just having a "girls day out" when they stumbled upon a fight --

not an unusual occurence in Nerima, but they had been engrossed in a

conversation about certain martial artists that they had, this time,

become annoyed.

Everyone was practically on the field. The most prominent martial

artists had showed up: Shampoo, Ukyou, Akane, Mousse, Kunou, Ryouga

and of course, Ranma. Nabiki showed up for "moral support." It

seemed to be a doozy of a fight. Yuka and Sayuri had no idea what the

exact cause of the conflict was, but they both knew that it was

probably something as stupid as one person flirting with the other,

and then somebody got jealous.

Yuka scrunched up her nose. "Why can't any of them SEE? If they

just tell the TRUTH for once --"

"-- like that'll happen," Sayuri interrupted, dryly. Just then,

they saw Hiroshi and Daisuke approach them. They looked excited, like

naughty little boys.

"Hey, girls!" Hiroshi greeted. "Wow! What a fight, huh?"

Yuka gave him a bored and irritated glance. "Yah. Great. What

else is new?"

Hiroshi's brows furrowed. "What?"

Sayuri waved her hand towards the fight. "We see this all the

time. What's the big deal?"

Hiroshi and Daisuke exchanged disbelieving glances.

"Are you kidding me? No fight has been THIS BIG. With EVERYONE

of them involved!" Hiroshi gasped. Daisuke nodded, frantically.

"It's a showdown," Daisuke revealed. "I'm not really sure what

exactly it's for. Each of them is fighting for SOME reason, that's

for sure. That Ranma's a lucky guy!"

Yuka scoffed. "Lucky? Right. Sure, it must be fun having all

that attention from people, but it must be tiring! For a while, even

I would like a horde of fans asking for my hand in marriage, but

jeez-- i'm only 16 with a life past all this pettiness."

"Yeah," Sayuri agreed, "If I was a martial artist, I'd like a

challenge now and then, but this is too much! And those girls HAVE

GOT to get themselves HIGHER self esteem or SOMETHING. Ranma isn't

the BE-all and END-all of the male species."

Daisuke snorted. "Like you should talk. Both of you must've had a

crush on Saotome sometime."

A faint flush colored Yuka's cheeks, but she shrugged it off.

"Sure. Which girl hasn't?"

"But that's not the POINT," Sayuri intervened. She crossed her

arms and looked at the fight. "Everyone there is just so damn selfish

and stubborn. OK. So what if Ranma is ONE OF the best looking and

THE BEST martial artist in town? And so WHAT if Akane's cute?"

Hiroshi's eyes widened. "So WHAT? Can you just hear what you're

saying?"

"Can you hear what I am saying?" Sayuri countered. She nodded

towards Ryouga's direction. He was in the middle of the air at the

moment, using his umbrella as a blocking device. "Take Ryouga for

instance. He's pretty damn close to Ranma's skill level. A fighting

second, if you will."

Yuka nodded, thoughtfully. "Yeah. Even though Ranma is fast and

definitely more skilled, Ryouga is EXTREMELY strong -- stronger, even

-- and has a hell of a lot more ENDURANCE than Ranma. If Ryouga

really -- I mean, REALLY -- wants to take Ranma down... like a

life-death situation, I bet Ryouga can win, if he puts his mind to

it."

"The problem is," Sayuri said, "is that Ryouga has an inferiority

complex. Low self-esteem is his problem. Even though outwardly, he

may SEEM like he's determined, but that boy's not giving his ALL."

Yuka's face broke into a devillish grin. "And, not to

mention--WHOO!" She fanned herself. "That boy is HOT. If Ranma and

Ryouga were in a pageant, I wouldn't know who to choose for the

winner. They're BOTH hot. And Ryouga's got that fang."

Sayuri giggled. "Yup. The fangs are a turn-on."

Hiroshi rolled his eyes while Daisuke flashed his pearly-whites.

"Hey, girls, if you just told us that it took pointy teeth to make you

hot, we would've--"

Yuka slapped Daisuke on the shoulder. "Aw, shut up you perv."

"Oh, wait!" Sayuri suddenly said. "Another plus for Ryouga, I just

thought of. He's sooooo shy!"

Yuka agreed, enthusiastically. "Yeahhhh! I'm not sure if it's an

act or anything ... but when he stutters and blushes and all ... GOD,

I just want to give him a hug and kiss to tell him it's all right."

Daisuke made a choking noise of disgust. Hiroshi grimaced and

said, "OK. But so WHAT ABOUT Ryouga?"

Yuka sighed. "Don't you get it? All those girls are wasting TIME

and EFFORT. Not to mention their hearts. Look, if I liked a guy and

he SERIOUSLY was not too interested, I'll go look for someone who IS

interested. If I was Ukyou, Shampoo, and Akane ... I'd take a good

long look towards Ryouga's direction."

Daisuke waved a hand. "OK. So Ryouga can be a match for Saotome.

But the girls STILL prefer Ranma."

"I know," Sayuri conceded. "It's stupid, I think."

"Actually," Yuka went on, "I really think Shampoo and Ukyou should

back off of Ranma. Really. Those two are MAJORLY delusional if they

don't see that Akane is THE ONE for Ranma."

Sayuri agreed. Daisuke and Hiroshi agreed too, albeit grudgingly.

Hiroshi put up two fingers. "But then that leaves two BEAUTIFUL

girls to contend with."

Sayuri giggled and looked at Hiroshi and Daisuke with disbelief.

"Right. Shampoo wouldn't look twice at the two of you unless you can

fight as well as those guys. And Ukyou ... she's ONE STUBBORN girl.

Extremely devoted to Ranma. She has got to see that Ranma only thinks

of her as a friend."

"One can hope, right?" Daisuke insisted, with a grin.

Yuka rubbed her chin. "I think Ryouga would do well with ...

Ukyou. Don't you?"

All four pairs of eyes flew to the fight. For some odd reason, it

seemed like Ryouga and Ukyou were fighting TOGETHER. When Kunou flew

over to attack Ryouga from behind, Ukyou threw her spatulas to

distract Kunou and she had pushed Ryouga away. Ryouga did something

similar when Shampoo started attacking.

This time, it was Sayuri nodding thoughtfully. "Wow. You're

right. They look cute together. Not to mention they seem to be

having the same problems."

"What same problems?" Hiroshi piped up.

Yuka explained, "You know. Ryouga and Ukyou both love their

friends. Akane only thinks of Ryouga as a friend, the same way Ranma

thinks of Ukyou as a friend. But, look, Ryouga and Ukyou seem

friendly together, too. Pity they don't feel past that with each

other."

"Are you sure?" Sayuri said, slyly. "I heard rumors about them

going into this cave where only TRUE couples leave TOGETHER. Ryouga

and Ukyou were one of those couples."

Yuka's eyes widened. "Really? That's cool."

Daisuke frowned. "I'm confused. Then why aren't they going out?"

"Because they don't know -- or want to admit -- their feelings for

each other," Yuka surmised. "Whoa. This is cool. Ryouga and

Ukyou...? That's so cute!"

"That's just stupid!" Hiroshi exclaimed. "If they like each other,

why do they keep going for the wrong people?" The girls shrugged.

Sayuri suggested, "Misplaced attentions? I dunno. Maybe they DO

like Ranma and Akane, but they're in love with the idea of love. Do you

guys REALLY like Akane? I mean, really? Not just the prospect of

being with her? The prospect of being with someone as popular as

her?"

Hiroshi and Daisuke exchanged glances again.

"Honestly?" Yuka asked.

Daisuke shrugged. "Akane's sexy."

"Cute," Hiroshi amended. "Shampoo -- now THAT's sexy."

"I didn't ask you if you found Akane ATTRACTIVE," Sayuri snapped,

irritatedly. "What boy ISN'T? But a guy can be attracted to a model

just because of looks, but that boy doesn't necessarily LOVE the

girl."

"True," Daisuke conceded. "I dunno. I guess ... not. I mean, if

she asked me out I'd say YES in a second, but... I dunno. I guess

it's just the thought of her and me going out is appealing. The most

wanted girl in Nerima going out with a simple guy like me is sorta

like a dream, huh?"

"Why AKANE?" Yuka huffed. "You boys need to expand horizons. I

mean, Akane's cool and all -- but what about Shampoo and Ukyou and

Kodachi, even?"

"I already said Shampoo was sexy," Hiroshi pointed out. "And YOU

already said that Ukyou and Ryouga may really like each other. But

Kodachi? I'm not into sadism."

"And WHY THOSE girls, too?" Sayuri added, increasingly peeved.

"They're all extraordinarily blessed with looks and strength, but 99

of the female population isn't like that. Why don't guys go for

NORMAL girls with OK looks and the only exercise they do is to keep

fit -- not to beat up people or save the world?"

Daisuke raised his brows. "I have a feeling that these 'normal'

girls happen to be you two."

Sayuri raised her chin, determinedly. "Maybe. We're not ugly.

We're fun to be with. What's wrong with you guys?"

Daisuke laughed, nervously. "Are you...are you asking me out or

something?"

Yuka shot out an uncharacteristically loud whoop. Sayuri elbowed

her to keep quiet. Hiroshi blushed. Daisuke looked flustered.

"Well, uh," Daisuke stuttered, "Um. Guys DO like you two. But

well... Shampoo ... Akane ... Ukyou and even Kodachi... They're

fantasy girls, you know?"

"Exactly. Fantasy," Sayuri replied, stiffly. "Are you saying that

no guy would ever go for 'normal' girls?"

"Of course not," Hiroshi finally said. "None of us really expect

to end up with one of them. They..." Suddenly, a light dawned. "Whoa.

They're... they're all perfectly matched."

"Huh?" Yuka frowned.

"They're all so PATHETIC!" Hiroshi echoed their thoughts. "Look--"

Ranma had just received a strong battle blow. He lay still for a

few seconds. Akane immediately left the battle ground to check on

Ranma. Worry was etched in her face. The concern flew away after

Ranma came to. A small argument ensued and then they were back in the

fight.

"Ranma goes with Akane, right?" Hiroshi said. "That's a given."

"Riiiight," Yuka agreed, slowly.

"OK. And Ryouga with Ukyou, huh?"

"Yeah. Well, I dunno. Maybe, if you believe the rumors."

Ukyou screamed something at that moment. They all turned to stare

at her throw herself at Ryouga, to save him from a dangerous spike

Mousse had thrown. Yuka blinked.

"Where's this going?" Sayuri asked. Ryouga, after thanking and

after helping Ukyou up, went to counter attack Mousse. Mousse was

distracted fighting Ranma to notice the umbrella come crashing down.

"Well -- duh! Mousse goes with Shampoo. End of story," Hiroshi

said, finally.

Mousse tried to block when he DID finally notice it, but to no

avail. He was hit and down. Shampoo was too busy fighting Akane to

notice. Mousse remained on the ground.

"Mousse and Shampoo?" Yuka snorted. "That'll be the day. Look at

how she IGNORES him. And he's unconcious now. If I had any SHRED of

decency or feeling towards him, I'd be by his side already!"

"He's not unconcious, though," Hiroshi pointed out. "His eyes are

still open. He's just absorbing the shock and he's probably going to

pop out of his trance any second-- ah," he paused to look at Mousse

jump back up, "--there you go. Besides, Shampoo doesn't like weak

guys or anything, so if SHE had to go and save Mousse, it'd be an

insult to Mousse and she would forever think Mousse is weak."

"That sounds pretty stupid to me."

"What's stupid is that stupid amazon law she follows."

Yuka sighed and blushed. "Gee. If I was Shampoo, I'd take Mousse

LIKE THAT!" She snapped her fingers. "He's SOOO smart. When I talk to

him and all, he uses sophisticated language, you know? He knows how

to treat ladies. Whenever I come to the Nekohanten, he'd open the

door and then lead me to the bathroom because he thinks that's where

the booth is." She grinned. "And I guess I'm a sucker for guys with

weaknesses. I like Ryouga's shyness and I also like Mousse's

blindness." She giggled. "I'd lead HIM anywhere!"

"You're disgusting," Hiroshi declared. Yuka lifted a brow.

"This coming from one of Furinkan's perverts?" Yuka retorted.

"You're sad, that's what you are," Hiroshi told her. "You have a

crush on Hibiki and Duck-Boy over there!"

"So?" Yuka didn't even try to defend herself. "They're better'n

you two any day."

Daisuke lifted his hand. "Hey! What'd I do to you?"

Yuka smiled. "OK. Just better'n Hiroshi, then."

Daisuke went back to the previous conversation, and pointed

towards the fight. "You see? All those couples deserve each other!

They all match -- but they want other people! If they just ... well,

all get together... none of this stupid things will happen."

"But they either want Ranma or Akane -- not each other!" Yuka

pointed out. Hiroshi nodded, but continued.

"That's true -- but all they need is to SEE the light. Like WE

notice it. They have to look at their situation and ask themselves:

is this love or do I just like the idea of being in love with THAT

person?"

"Like THAT'LL happen," Sayuri scoffed. "None of them would listen

to reason. They're all too pig-headed." Ryouga suddenly flew through

the air after Ranma's kick. Sayuri giggled. "No pun intended."

"Hey -- and what about Upperclassman Kunou?" Yuka pointed out.

"He's got nobody. If he doesn't, he'd just keep stalking Ranma and

Akane 'till he or they died."

"I know! MARIKO!" Daisuke suggested. "Mariko's got this THING for

Kunou."

"MARIKO?" Yuka gasped, disgusted. "The cheerleader with the jock?

That's just soooo clichéd! And Mariko has... let's say... one screw

lose. Besides, Kunou isn't that bad."

The boys exchanged looks of hopelessness at Yuka.

"You are so boy crazy," Hiroshi muttered.

"What?!" Yuka exclaimed. "I mean, before Akane came along, Kunou

was pretty decent. Sure, he's always a little eccentric, but that

goes with the territory. I mean, his dad left him and his sister to

fend for themselves for a long time and he has all this money that he

doesn't really know what to do with, considering he practically throws

it around like water. With that type of money, he probably attracts

the wrong crowd. And he's never had a steady girlfriend. Or ANY

girlfriend, period. Which is strange, considering how good-looking

and rich he is. Actually..." Yuka paused. "The only girl I've ever

heard him take out to dinner--quite frequently--is Nabiki."

"Nabiki," Sayuri said, firmly. "I thought it was obvious. Those

two flirt SOOOO much, it's not even funny."

"Flirt?" Hiroshi laughed. "Neither Nabiki nor Kunou FLIRT."

"Oh, yeah?" Sayuri challenged. "Remember when Miss Hinako first

came to our school and she was suckin' everyone's energy out and you

guys protected me and Yuka?"

Hiroshi blushed and nodded. "Yeah?"

"Well..." Sayuri drawled, mockingly. "You saw how Kunou protected

Nabiki."

"Protect?! Ha! He looked forced, I tell you!" Daisuke retorted.

"It's an act," Sayuri surmised. "I mean... did you HEAR the way

Nabiki said 'thank you'? I mean, after you," she looked at Daisuke,

"saved me, I didn't press myself against you and whisper seductively,

'Arigatou, Dai-chan'."

Daisuke turned red. "Er... no. I never noticed that."

"Of course. You're a guy," Sayuri snorted. "They never notice

anything unless it's flashed at their faces."

Daisuke's expression turned lecherous. "I could think of a lot of

things I'd like to see flashed..."

Sayuri kicked him in the shins to shut him up. He was still

grinning while he was rubbing his leg.

"OK, that's everyone matched up!" Hiroshi declared. He rubbed his

chin. "Hmm. Are you guys thinking what I am thinking?"

Yuka looked at Sayuri who was grinning back. "We think so."

Daisuke looked at a loss. "What?"

Yuka, Sayuri and Hiroshi sweat-dropped.

"We're going to play matchmaker, you dumb jerk!" Sayuri explained,

exasperatedly. "Jeez... you're so out of it!"

"But why?!" Daisuke complained.

"Because...it's fun?" Sayuri suggested. "Because for once, Nerima

would be quiet and there'd be no useless fighting? Because then

EVERYONE would be happy?"

"How would it make ME happy?" Daisuke grumbled. "It'd be a waste

of time, if you ask me."

"It would NOT be a waste!" Sayuri argued. "Don't you see? All

those people are fighting for NOTHING. They have to use that energy

someplace ELSE!"

"I still don't see how that helps me. I like watching their

fights! It's cool! I like to think that maybe one day one of those

girls may notice me-- but if I help you guys, then well, that won't

happen, huh?" Daisuke said. "They'd be with each other."

"You're deluding yourself if you think it won't be inevitable,"

Sayuri pointed out. "They will NEVER notice you--not in THAT way, at

least. And they may even get together by themselves ... but not

anytime soon unless WE do something about it."

"I still don't see--"

"A kiss and a date," Sayuri broke in. She looked at him straight

in the eye. "If you help us, you get ME. Is that better?"

Daisuke's eyes widened. "Wha--?"

"If you go with us, I'll be your girlfriend," Sayuri sighed. "I

know, it's a sacrifice for me, but I'll get over it."

A grin grew on Daisuke's face. A silly grin. "Hmmm... you versus

my affection for Shampoo, Ukyou and Kodachi. Are you sure you're up

to it?"

"I'm in no competition," Sayuri replied. "Besides, don't you think

I would do great as a runner-up?" She winked and posed provocatively.

Daisuke laughed. "Alright. A kiss and a date."

Yuka and Hiroshi exchanged glances. Both burst out laughing.

"Ha. We're so good we already have a match!" Yuka chuckled.

Hiroshi poked Yuka against her waist. Yuka squealed.

"Next thing you know," Hiroshi joked, "WE'LL end up dating!"

Yuka's face sobered immediately. Hiroshi, oblivious, continued to

laugh. A small blue aura surrounded Yuka. Out of nowhere, a mallet

appeared in her hands.

"BAKA!" Yuka shouted and smashed Hiroshi to the ground. "What's

THAT comment supposed to mean? That I'm not GOOD enough for YOU?

Well, let's get one thing straight-- YOU'RE not good enough for ME!"

"What'd I SAY?!" Hiroshi protested. Sayuri pressed her lips

together into a frown of displeasure. Daisuke slapped his best

friend's back.

"Man, you need to learn more about girls," Daisuke commented. The

mallet was still in Yuka's hands and she eyed Daisuke warningly.

Daisuke raised his hands up in a peaceful gesture.

"So!" Sayuri interrupted before more violence brewed. "What shall

we do first? Or should I say-- which couple's our first victim?"

Four pairs of eyes turned to the epic battle in front of them, and

realized that the battle they had ahead of them was no comparisson.

All of them grinning, they proceeded with formulating their plan and

following it through.

"Operation Love Struck is now in progress!!" Yuka exclaimed,

stretched her hand out in front of her. Sayuri immediately placed her

hand on top of hers, followed by Daisuke, then Hiroshi.

"Let's gooooooo!!" Sayuri yelled, and the group scattered across

the field to follow through the first step of their plan.

And then, everyone lived happily ever after.

--

AUTHOR'S NOTE

I wanted to place more personality to the much forgotten background

characters of this series. A conversation seemed fitting. Just a

little one-shot exercise. ) Hope you enjoy

C&C wanted!