Red Robin

By Blackheart Syaoran

AUTHOR: Second Titans fic, but too early to learn from experience with them. 

Chapter 1: Starfire’s Letter

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Normally, Titans Tower was a fairly quiet place once you ignored the chatter created by Cyborg and Beast Boy.  Raven never made much noise, either when meditating or reading.  Starfire, though loud and usually in high spirits, knew when to keep it down.  Robin was naturally silent, something that rubbed off on him from his time with Batman. 

Today, however, was not a very silent day. 

Sundays were days to savor—or, in other words, you slept in as late as you could without wasting any actually valuable time. 

When Starfire awoke, she didn’t know what was in store for her.  The Titans each took turns getting the mail, and Sunday meant it was Starfire’s turn. 

Yawning loudly, she climbed out of bed and got a shower, which woke her up a good degree.  Now more active, she dressed in her usual purple-and-silver garments, checked her image in the mirror, gave it two thumbs up, and flew out of her room.  She made it to the front door in no time, and was surprised to see the package that lay on the doorstep. 

Bending closer, she confirmed what her eyes told her: The silver, advanced technology-style box indeed bore the crest of her family. 

(AN: I heard somewhere that Tamaran was destroyed, but since this is an AU, and since it is very important for her world to exist, I have kept it around.  Besides, in the Cartoon-verse, you can change anything to something less embarrassing, such as sucky costumes.) 

Eager to see what was within, Starfire grabbed up the box and flew straight back to her room. 

Beast Boy’s mouth was wide enough to take in an entire watermelon when he yawned for the umpteenth time.  The green-skinned metamorph looked around the common room before voicing the question on his mind. 

“Where is everybody?” he asked his teammate, Cyborg. 

“Sleeping,” the other replied.  “Robin is doing an early morning workout in his room, Raven is either meditating or sleeping, and Starfire is getting the mail.” 

“Does it normally take this long for her to get the mail?” Beast Boy asked.  He looked at the clock on the wall. 

“What do you do, carry around a stopwatch?” Cyborg asked. 

“As a matter of fact, I did,” the smaller boy grinned, causing Cyborg to lose his own smile. 

“Not funny, man,” Cyborg said as he returned to preparing breakfast. 

“I wasn’t trying to be,” Beast Boy said.  “I really did time her.” 

“Hope you don’t start timing everyone, or you’ll turn yourself into one of those control freaks.” 

“The only hope around here is for my latest issue of Gamer Monthly to arrive soon.” 

“More like Obsessed Freak Monthly,” Cyborg muttered. 

“What?” Beast Boy asked, just barely having caught his friend’s words. 

“I didn’t say anything.” 

Beast Boy shrugged and went back to waiting for Starfire to deliver the mail. 

But she never did.  By noon, Robin and Raven were both in the common room, with Robin and Cyborg playing each other in their favorite video game, Raven reading one of her books, and Beast Boy still waiting for his mail. 

“Dude, what is taking her so long?” the animal shape-shifter complained loudly. 

Robin looked at him.  “Maybe she’s sleeping in.  She’s always up around nine or so; she could be catching a few extra winks.” 

“Yeah, but that’s no reason to make me wait like this!” Beast Boy responded. 

“Get a grip,” Raven advised, not looking up from her book.  “It’s not like the world’s going to end if you don’t get your stupid magazine.” 

“Hey, my magazine is not stupid!” Beast Boy snapped. 

“Man, settle down before you hurt yourself,” Cyborg said.  “Star will get the mail when she’s ready.” 

Just then, the doors to the common room whooshed open, and Starfire raced inside.  She flew to Robin, landing and catching him up in a tight embrace. 

“Rejoice, my friends!” she cried merrily, much more so than her usual self.  “It is a time of celebration!”

She spun around repeatedly, causing Robin to become dizzy.  When she stopped, it took the boy a moment to regain his bearings. 

“Star, where have you been?” Beast Boy demanded, storming toward the alien girl.  “I have been waiting forever for you to get the mail!  What’s your excuse this time?” 

“Hey, cut her some slack,” Robin said, frowning at Beast Boy.  He felt like reaching over there and breaking the green metamorph in half.  “She has her reasons.” 

Starfire chose now to speak up.  However, she did not sound remotely bothered by Beast Boy’s anger. 

“Friends, I have the most wonderful of news for you!” she declared. 

“Oh?” asked Cyborg.  “And just what would that be?”

“Better be more important than my magazine, that’s for sure,” Beast Boy grumbled. 

“After one Earth month, my family on Tamaran has responded to the letter I sent them,” Starfire told everyone. 

“Is Tamaran really far away or something, so that the mail takes longer to get there?” Robin asked. 

Starfire shook her head, still smiling.  “No, it is because when I sent my letter, it was six hundred pages long, with my writings on one side only.” 

This fact had a rather huge impact on the others: Raven looked up from her book for perhaps a whole minute; Cyborg and Beast Boy’s jaws were on the floor; and Robin’s eyes were round as dinner plates. 

Apparently not noticing this, Starfire continued.  “My family has replied to my letter, and sent both a written response and a recording.  The instructions they also sent say to read the written part first, and then watch the recording.  Because this is my first letter from home while on Earth, I wish for my new family to meet my old one, so to speak.” 

The others eyed her for a moment more, and then gave actual reactions.  Robin responded fastest, cutting the others off. 

“Sure thing, Star.  I don’t see any reason why we shouldn’t listen to your letter or watch your recording.” 

He glanced over his shoulder and saw Beast Boy and Cyborg glaring at him, while Raven didn’t seem to care much.  Looking back at Starfire, he watched as she smiled happily. 

“Thank you very much, my friends!” she said, not really getting that Robin has spoken for them.  Either that, or not caring out of sheer joy.  “Wait here while I go and get the letter and recording from my room.” 

When she had gone, Beast Boy stalked over to his teammate.  “Dude, why are you saying we want to see her letter?  I just want my magazine!”

Robin frowned at the other Titan.  “Maybe because you weren’t very nice to her about getting the mail.  You can’t even see this is important to her.” 

“Robin’s right,” Raven said, putting her book down and coming to stand at his side.  “You need to learn to show some respect to other people.” 

Beast Boy rolled his eyes.  “I don’t believe this.” 

“Better believe it,” Cyborg said, pointing.  “She’s back with the letter.” 

Starfire flew past her friends, and put a small silver-and-emerald cube on the table before turning to the others.  In her other hand she held a thick stack of paper, which was obviously the written part of her family’s response. 

“Friends, please sit down and enjoy all three hundred pages of my parents’ response!” she smiled brightly.  When they were all seated, she held the thick stack of papers in front of her and began to read.  “ ‘Dear daughter, we are pleased to hear that you are enjoying your stay on Earth…’ ” 

For what was no less than four hours, Starfire droned on, stopping only to get a drink of water in order to refresh her voice.  The response from her parents covered, from the endless writing, everything that Starfire had included in her letter: The Tower, the team itself, “strange Earth customs,” enemies, adventures, and, most importantly of all, mustard.  From the response letter, Starfire’s mother had tasted the preserved sample her daughter had sent along, and was now as in love with it as Starfire was. 

“How much longer can this possibly go on?” Cyborg whispered to Robin.  “My butt fell asleep when she started talking about just how poofy Herbal Essence makes her hair.” 

“Just relax,” Robin whispered back. 

The two resumed listening, but it seemed that the letter was coming to a close: Starfire was holding the final sheet of paper. 

“ ‘In closing, both your father and I are very glad you went to such a wonderful place as Earth,’ ” the princess read.  “ ‘Please view the recording that we have sent.  It contains a very special surprise!’ ”  Starfire looked from the letter to the small cube, and smiled.  “Please empty your bowels of any unwanted materials, my friends, and then we will watch the recording together.” 

Beast Boy, morphing into a green bat, took off for the john, while the other three stood up and stretched.  It was a very welcome relief—or it would have been, if Beast Boy had not voiced his own joy so loudly. 

“Oh, man, this feels so good!” his voice floated from the bathroom, causing the others to stare in its direction.  “Where have you been all my life?”

“Um, is Beast Boy with someone?” Starfire asked, looking bemused. 

“No, he’s just glad to go to the bathroom,” Robin answered. 

After a few minutes, the Titans took their seats again, Starfire sporting another big smile. 

“And now we will watch the recording that my family on Tamaran has sent me,” she informed the others, even though they already knew.  She pressed a small button on the top of the cube and hurried to take a seat next to Robin, who was now placed between the Titans’ girl members. 

A pinprick of light appeared on the side of the cube facing the team, and abruptly a beam of bluish-white light shot out.  It formed a screen that hovered at least three feet over the table, and then the color shifted into a variety of colors until they formed an image. 

Two figures were displayed on the screen, one man and one woman, both of them resembling Starfire to some degree, though the woman more so than the man.  They were dressed in regal-looking robes, though the woman’s was more of a headdress with a sexy-looking bikini outfit. 

“Greetings, Starfire,” the Queen said warmly, smiling.  “Though this is only a recording, I am glad we can see each other’s faces.  The ‘photograph’ you sent of you and your friends was very effective in showing how beautiful you are becoming.” 

At this compliment, Starfire beamed with pride.  Her mother continued. 

“Your father and I extremely pleased that you have managed to find someone special even though you have only been on Earth for a short while.” 

“Say what?” Beast Boy said, blinking.  “Someone special?”

Starfire shhed him and he folded his arms over his chest. 

“Though this Robin is only an Earthling and, from what you have told us, possesses no special powers, he is the one you have chosen as your consort, and we will not dispute that,” Starfire’s father said. 

The Titans’ jaws dropped, except for Starfire, who seemed to be totally surprised by this news.  Unaffected by the heroes, her parents continued talking from the recording. 

“As you can see, we are already beginning to plan your wedding,” the Queen said, and stepped aside so that the screen displayed images of workers and foremen bustling about and looking over both constructions and papers that doubtless had important writings on them.  “However, because both you and your dashing young lover are a little too young to get married soon, the two of you will remain engaged until the wedding is actually held.” 

“Until that time, we wish both you and the Teen Titans the best of luck in whatever they do,” the father said.  “Farewell, daughter.” 

The recording ended there, with the projection vanishing back into the cube, which fell dormant.  Cyborg and Beast Boy turned their heads to stare at Robin and Starfire.  The former was wearing a shocked expression, while Starfire looked about ready to explode with joy. 

And she did. 

“Hooray!” she cried loudly, jumping up and down like a little girl.  Grabbing Robin’s hands, she pulled the Boy Wonder off his feet and into a strong hug, spinning around faster than she had the first time.  “I am so happy for us, Robin!”

“Hold it!” Beast Boy yelled, standing up.  “What is going on here, people?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Raven said, eyeing Starfire and Robin with what Beast Boy thought was a rather ugly look.  Though that didn’t mean much, since she scared him a lot anyways.  “Robin and Starfire are officially engaged.” 

“Okay, we are definitely missing something important,” Cyborg said, and turned to face Starfire.  “Star, what exactly did you tell your family?”

Starfire stopped spinning around with her newly declared fiancé, giving Robin a chance to keep from getting sick.  “In my letter, I told my parents that Robin is a great prince and the son of the very powerful King Batman.”  She looked at the others, and seemed worried that she had made a mistake.  “Is this not correct?  Does King Batman not rule the kingdom of Gotham from his Batcave palace?”

Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Raven quickly glanced at Robin, who was gesturing frantically.  They got the message, and began shaking their hands side to side—except for Raven, who was still gazing impassively at the couple. 

“No, no, you got it all right!” Cyborg said, smiling nervously.  “It’s just that we wanted to…make sure you didn’t get your facts wrong, that’s all!”

“Yeah, we were just making sure!” Beast Boy agreed, nodding vigorously. 

Starfire smiled, and pulled them both into a hug.  “Thank you for calming my fears, Cyborg and Beast Boy.  For a second, I was worried that I had done something wrong.” 

“Perfectly fine,” Cyborg assured. 

Starfire released them and then hugged Robin, still smiling brightly.  “I am very happy that my parents have taken this in such a good way, Robin!  Now we can be together for the rest of our lives!”

At this point, Raven stalked out of the room, leaving all but Starfire to wonder; she was too busy being in love with her fiancé. 

“Oh, Robin, this is a dream come true for me!” she told him.  “I know I should not be, but I am impatient about marrying you!”  She actually “squealed” with delight.  “Oh, Robin, I cannot wait until we are spending nights in each other’s arms, and we will have wonderful children, ones I will feed with my milk-swollen breasts and—” 

“Star, that’s enough!” Robin said.  “I get the picture.  You don’t need to go into detail.” 

Releasing the masked boy, she smiled and said, “I must go now and look at your Victoria’s Secret wedding dress designs, but I will see you in the morning, my love!”

As if to prove their newly redefined relationship, she kissed him lightly on the head before flying off to her room.  For a long moment, none of the three boys did anything. 

“Okay, things are getting just a little weird around here,” Cyborg said.  “You didn’t know about this, did you?”

“Of course not,” Robin frowned.  “Look, the truth is that I do love Starfire, which is why I don’t have the heart to tell her she’s a little off in what she said to her parents.”  He grinned.  “Besides, what she told them is somewhat true: Batman says Gotham is his city, and I am his protégé, so if you follow the logic…” 

“But you can’t keep this charade up forever,” Cyborg pointed out.  “You’ll have to tell her the truth eventually—especially before she decides to wear some lingerie instead of a wedding dress.” 

“Maybe wedding dresses on Tamaran are similar to lingerie on Earth,” Robin suggested.  “You saw the Queen in the recording: If those garments were her everyday clothes, then Starfire wouldn’t be making a mistake wearing something that her people would consider slightly exotic but in-line with their own culture.” 

Beast Boy began laughing.  “Dude, if that’s true, you’ll probably end up wearing a loincloth instead of a tux.” 

“Maybe you should just stop right there,” Cyborg said, glowering at Beast Boy. 

“Yeah,” Robin agreed.  “We better find something to do; we still have some hours left before nightfall, so we don’t have to go to bed just yet.” 

“What do you think Raven will say about all this?” Beast Boy asked.  “She didn’t look really touched by the news.” 

“You know how Raven is,” Robin reminded his friend.  “She keeps herself under control all the time.  She’ll probably talk about it later or something.  Right now, though, I want to let this all sink in.  Later.” 

Robin turned and headed for his room, intent on figuring out a way to get through this all. 

AUTHOR: If I am lucky, and if there is a God, this fic will generate good reviews! 

NEXT: Slade makes his move as the Hive returns to the game.  The romance between Starfire and Robin rises as another player makes their move, intent on having Robin themselves.  And after a shocking encounter, Robin is left rattled about his status as a hero. 

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