A/N: I got this idea while reading the Gaiden mangas the other day, and I'm assuming that if you're reading this, you already know what happened in Gaiden. I took some license with it, so I guess it's slightly AU. This is a SanzoxGoku fic, so if you don't like that don't read it. ^_^

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, any similarities to any story is not intentional.

'..' Signifies thoughts.

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Goku's eyes widened in shock as he looked at the face above him.

"Konzen..."

The man did not answer Goku. He merely coughed up blood from the attack he had just taken.

"Konzen!"

He collapsed on top of Goku, no longer able to support his own weight.

"Konzen! Konzen!"

His eyes slowly opened and he gazed for the last time at the one who he loved. "Wait for me, Goku. I'll come back to you. Just...wait..."

"KONZEN!!!!"

The boy continued screaming oblivious of his surroundings. A few feet away the lifeless bodies of Kenren and Tenpou lay together, a testament to the battle that had just taken place.

Litouten surveyed the scene happily. All who opposed him were dead, soon his son would heal and he would then become the god of heaven. The only thing still in his way was the heretic too consumed with his own grief to realize the danger he was in. Litouten gestured to the lieutenant standing near him.

"Take him and have his memory erased, then imprison him beneath Kakasan Mountain."

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The sky was perfectly blue and the weather was warm. Big, puffy clouds floated overhead. Big, puffy clouds that resembled meat buns..'Man I'm hungry! I wonder how long till we reach the next town'. As Goku leaned forward to question Hakkai, the jeep suddenly skidded to a halt.

"Dammit Hakkai! Warn us when you do that!!!!" Gojyo snapped after his head had stopped reeling.

Once they had composed themselves, the four men all stared with annoyance at the reason for their sudden stop.

"Damn high and mighty bitch..." Gojyo grumbled and Goku stifled a giggle.

"That's no way to greet a goddess" purred Kanzeon. "and I came to bring you such good news too. Goku, the gods have decided to return your memory to you"

"What are you talking about?" Sanzo demanded.

"Ah well, nothing you'd really understand, my dear Konzen," The goddess smiled at the way Sanzo bristled at the use of his old name. "But if you must know, Litouten has been put out of power and the decision made by him to lock Goku's memory has been reversed by the new ruler of heaven."

Before anyone else could move or speak she sent a burst of light towards Goku and he collapsed. Gojyo caught him to keep him from falling out of the jeep as Sanzo pointed his gun at the goddess.

"What did you do?" The murderous glare he gave was accented by the round fired at her head.

Unfazed, Kanzeon merely gave out a flippant "Wouldn't you like to know." and disappeared.

"Hakkai, get us to the nearest town."

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You promised me food if I followed you here. You big liars

Wow, your hair is so pretty, it's just like the sun.

I'm Nataku, what's your name?

I'll call you Goku, even your monkey brain can remember that.

You can call me Ten-chan!

He's my secret child

Nataku wouldn't kill me he's my friend!!!

Oh, I forgot to introduce myself, my name's Goku. I'm pleased to meet you.

Wait for me, Goku. I'll come back to you. .

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'What's happening where am I? I'm lying down. It's soft. I guess I must be in a bed. But wasn't I just in a jeep? Oh wait, I can hear Tenpou talking.'

"He's been out for almost six hours now, do you think she hurt him?"

'Poor Tenpou, I've worried him again, I better tell him that I'm fine. No, wait, not Tenpou. He's dead, I saw him .'

"KONZEN!!!!"

Goku suddenly jerked upright, surprising the three other men in the room. They hurried over to the bed and received an even bigger surprise when Goku launched himself at Sanzo, wrapping his arms around his neck.

"Konzen! Konzen! I thought I'd never see you again! I'm so sorry you died, it's all my fault, it's all my..." at this point Goku burst into tears, burying his face into Sanzo's shoulder.

Sanzo stood there unsure of what to do. As a rule, he abhorred physical contact, but at the same time he could sense that something was really wrong with Goku. He looked over at Gojyo and Hakkai. They merely stared back at him with faces that showed equal confusion. Sanzo tentatively reached up with one hand and began to gently pat Goku on the head.

The touch seemed to remind Goku of something. He pulled back and looked Sanzo in the eye. "Konzen..?" he asked a little uncertainly. His eyes watered slightly as a sudden realization hit him. "You don't remember. You don't remember me..."

Sanzo narrowed his eyes at his charge. "How could I not remember you, bakasaru?"

Goku pulled away from Sanzo and dropped back down to the bed with a defeated sigh. "Please leave."

Hakkai chose this moment to voice his concerns, "But Goku, we were worried, are you ok? Did she hurt you? What do you remember? How did." Any further line of inquiry was cut off.

"I SAID GET OUT!"

The uncharacteristic tone caught his friends off guard and made them take him seriously for once. With nothing more than an annoyed "Ch" Sanzo stalked out of the room followed closely by Gojyo. Hakkai hesitated, then left as well.

Goku curled up into a ball and cried himself to sleep

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"Ne, ne. Look Konzen! I picked you flowers!"

Konzen looked up from his paper work to see the smiling face of Goku who promptly crawled into his lap and gave him a welcoming hug.

"They're very beautiful Goku, thank you."

Goku blushed happily and looked up at his master a question forming in his mind.

"Ne, Konzen, you love me right?"

Konzen looked at Goku for a minute before answering. "I've told you that I do, why are you asking?"

Goku nervously looked down and mumbled very quickly and quietly, then looked back up at Konzen with a very red face.

"I'm sorry Goku but you'll have to speak up"

"If you love me, why don't you kiss me? I mean really kiss me. Kenren showed me one once and he said that's how people show their love. But you never do. Do you not like me?"

Konzen rolled his eyes and cursed the day Kenren came into their lives. "Of course not Goku, it's just that I'm a good deal older than you are, and I don't think that it would be wise."

"But why? I don't care how old you are! I'll always love you!"

Konzen once again found himself smiling at the naïve ramblings of his pet. "You're still very young, little one, and one day you might find someone you like better than me."

"I'll never love anyone like I do you!" Goku responded right before he sat up and kissed Konzen full on the mouth. It was clumsy, as to be expected, but Konzen found himself responding and deepening it. Until Goku's hands found their way to his hair, bringing him back to his senses.

He pulled back and caught Goku by his wrists. He didn't miss the hurt look in Goku's eyes. "You're too young Goku. If you feel the same way once you've grown, I won't stop you, but now is not the time for this. Ok?"

Goku stared into Konzen's eyes to make sure he wasn't lying to him. "Promise?"

"Promise"

"So.... how old is old enough?" Konzen just laughed.

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The fist thing Goku became aware of was the smell of smoke. He groaned and rolled towards the smell opening his eyes as he did so. He saw Konzen standing by the window smoking a cigarette. 'No. Not Konzen, Sanzo. Konzen is gone.' Goku shook his head as if that would make that nagging voice go away. 'Sanzo is probably upset with me for throwing myself at him like that. He really hates being touched.'

"Full House" The sound drew Goku's attention over to Hakkai and Gojyo who were playing poker at the small table in the room. Goku looked around the rest of the room which resembled almost every inn they had stayed in during their journey. There were three other beds in there. 'They must have all wanted to be in here. I guess I really did worry them'. Goku smiled at the thought.

Goku coughed a little to get their attention. Hakkai looked up and smiled warmly. "Ah, you're finally awake. How do you feel?" Hakkai walked over and sat next to Goku on the bed, checking his forehead for a fever.

"I'm sorry Hakkai. I didn't mean to yell at you.."

"Maa, maa. No reason to worry. We all know you were under a lot of stress."

Gojyo had walked up behind Hakkai and was staring worriedly at Goku, but as soon as he felt Goku's gaze he changed his frown to a carefree grin. "Bakasaru, always gotta be trouble don't you?" The frown returned when Goku didn't rise to the barb. Instead he turned his face away and spoke in a meek voice.

"I remember...everything. Who I am. Where I'm from. Why I was locked away."

This quiet statement was enough to bring Sanzo's attention from the street outside and over to Goku. He had always wanted to know what it was that Goku could have possibly done, but part of him had worried that it was something so bad that the memory of it would hurt Goku. His suspicions seemed to be confirmed as he noticed the lifeless expression Goku wore. He also noticed the way Goku would not look at him.

"Oi, saru."

Goku merely cringed and stared into his lap. He wouldn't face Sanzo. He couldn't. 'Dammit! Stop it!' Goku furiously yelled at the tears threatening to spill once again. He successfully chocked them back and got a fragile hold on his emotions.

"Yes, Sanzo?" 'There, my voice sounded fairly level, right? No. Shut up, no one asked you.'

"You don't have to tell us anything if you don't want to. Your past belongs to you. It doesn't concern us." Goku looked up at Sanzo's words but still refused to look the monk in the eye.

"You're wrong Sanzo. It concerns all of you..I'm the reason you died." At this Goku closed his eyes, not sure what to expect. Would they be angry with him. Disappointed? Would Sanzo turn him away? The idea was heart wrenching and Goku couldn't stop a few stray tears from falling.

"Maybe you'd feel better if you ate something?" Hakkai asked.

"No please, I want to tell you what if you hate me afterwards, you have a right to know."

Hakkai held Goku's gaze trying to gauge his emotional stability. He was worried that Goku might be trying to face too much too soon. Upon seeing Goku's look of determination, his face relaxed into his usual smile and he returned to the table with Gojyo. Sanzo remained at the window and lit another cigarette. Goku took a depth breath and began his tale.

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".there were just too many fell first, followed quickly by Kenren..and then...Konzen..he...he..." Goku took a second to compose himself. He had left out the part about himself and Konzen being in love, because he didn't think the others would understand. He didn't want to seem too emotional about Konzen so they wouldn't ask too many embarrassing questions. After a brief silence Goku continued, "One of the guards came at me, but Konzen shielded me.. I saw the sword go through him...I heard his last words...saw the light leave his eyes.." at this point Goku was unable to stop the tears, but he didn't care anymore. He was lost in the memory of the past. He hugged his pillow and cried as though Konzen had just died again. And, in a way, he had.

Gojyo and Hakkai exchanged looks. Years of living together had made them close enough to speak without talking. They both got up from the table and left the room. Sanzo stood still and waited till they were gone. Once they were he walked over to the door and locked it. He needed to be there for Goku, and he didn't want Hakkai and Gojyo to see it. He silently thanked them for understanding.

After the life he had lived it was hard for him to show his emotions. Goku was the only one who had ever seen any true moments of kindness or weakness. In a way he didn't mind showing Goku, but it was a side no one else could see. Only his saru. Sanzo walked over to the crying figure and laid his hand on his back. Goku looked up, startled. He had thought everyone had left him. His emotional state made him less aware than he normally would have been. Goku almost didn't believe the look on Sanzo's face, but he knew what it meant and he accepted the invitation. He wrapped his arms around Sanzo.

Sanzo shifted them around so he was leaning against the headboard and Goku was on his lap. He put one hand around Goku's back and ran the other through his hair. He murmured into Goku's hair in the same way his master used to do for him if he ever had a nightmare. His heart broke at the sight of Goku in this state. He couldn't remember anything about this past life that Goku claimed he had. And that fact seemed to hurt Goku very deeply.

"I'm sorry, Goku, I'm so very sorry" he whispered.

Goku couldn't believe it. He was back in Konzen's arms again. If Sanzo only knew what he was thinking he would be sure to throw him to the ground with disgust. But he would enjoy this small happiness while he had it. He had at one point fallen in love with the monk, but had never acted upon it. He was sure that the feeling was not returned, and had come to terms with that long ago. He could live without his love as long as Sanzo never showed favoritism to anyone else but him.

But that was before. Before he remembered Konzen. Before he remembered what it felt like to be loved. Not just loved, but loved by Konzen. He knew what it entailed. He knew what it was to have someone smile just for him. To be the bringer of happiness to that person. To know that he felt the exact same way. Then to know that he would never feel that again was almost too much to bear. For now though, he could pretend Sanzo did love him, and that would be enough to get him through the night.

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Sorry if anyone came across as to OOC. This is my first fic, so I'm still getting used to it. And I know Goku spends a lot of this chapter crying like a girl, but he'll get tougher soon, promise. ^_^