Author: Surprisingly enough, it's me!

Rating: PG 13, 'cause that's how I rate my fics, duh.

Category: Since there is no sucha possibility as Insanity, I'll go for Humor (or should it be Romance?)

Feedback: Yes, please, lotsa: bat_girl_

Disclaimer: If you're from Nintendo, Game Freak or any other big company that has rights for them, then you know I don't have. And if you're not anyone who has rights for them, then I don't care if you're stupid enough to think I own them.

Author's note: This is something very very crazy, I'm probably making mistake posting this up at all… Most definitely making a mistake…Oh well. It came to be when I got too tired of people arguing about which shipping is right. Oh, and I know my spelling sucks, thank-you-very-much. As for the fic, I blame temporally insanity. So here goes, for shippers everywhere…

Answer, when no one asks

Setting: A talk show studio with lost of chairs. All the main(and not so main) characters are seated: Ash, Misty, Brock, Tracey, Pikachu, Jessie, James, Meowth, Butch. Cassidy, Joy, Jenny, Prof Oak, Gary and Mrs. Ketchum. The host steps on stage.

Wind: Hi, everyone! We're here today to speak about… Shipping! We have some guests here in studio to give us their view on certain pairing, mostly the ones that include themselves! To be fair, let's start with the most popular movement: AAML. So, Ash and Misty, give us your view.

Ash: What does AAML stand for?

Wind:*rolling her eyes*Ash and Misty love, duh.

Ash:*points to Misty* Are you saying I'm supposed to be in love with her?

Misty: I don't know where those stupid people got that idea from…

Wind: Well, you follow Ash around, and no one believes it's cause of that stupid bike.

Misty: Ok, maybe it's not 'cause of that bike, but it still doesn't mean we're in love.

Ash: Hey, people, get real! I'm ten years old! I'm at the age when all girls are still gross!

Misty: Plus Ash is faaaaar to immature for me.

Wind: You're saying there's nothing going on?

Ash: NO!

Misty: Absolutely nothing.

Brock:*whispering* That's cause Misty is into girls…

Misty:*getting very red* BROCK!

Tracey: Oh, c'mon, it's no real secret.

Misty:*offended* I like boys. I just happen to like girls as well.*muttering* There's nothing wrong with that…

Wind: Fine, whatever. Let's move to our next pairing, the famous Rocketshipping!

Ash: You didn't tell what terms me and Misty had!

Wind:*rolling her eyes* Pokéshipping, Gakishipping, Twerpshipping…

Ash&Misty: WHAT WAS THE LAST ONE?

Wind: Twerpshipping. Now, shuddup! I wanna hear it when Jessie and James confess their undying love…

Meowth: You're gonna be disappointed…

Jessie: Yes, there is nothing like that between me and James.

James: We're just best friends.

Wind: Oh, c'mon everyone knows you're an item! You have to be! What about all that hugging and…

Jessie:*shugs*It's our habit. Don't you ever hug your friends?

Wind: Well, yes, but that's not the point! Ok, so what about all that touching love-dove stuff on St Anne?

James: What? You wouldn't be sorry if you were going to drown with our best friend?

Wind: Sure, but, but… You have to be in love!

Jessie: Says who you little annoying slut?

Wind: But… James! You must be in love with her!

James: After all that beating she does?*gets hit by Jessie's mallet* OW!

Wind: It's just her bizarre way of showing she loves you!

Jessie: No. I care for him, as friend. Nothing more. Get over it bitch.

James: And I'd like to point out, that even though I'm not in love with Jessie, I'm not a gay.

Everyone give him a strange look.

Wind:*sobbing hysterically*This can't be… they were meant to… oh… they… they…

She is lead of the stage. A silence falls over the place, everyone are just eyeing each other unfriendly.

Gary:*clearing his throat*Can we go now?

Assistant: No. Here are the pairings you're supposed to go over*hands a list to each one of them*

Cassidy:*muttering* Right, so let's get started…

Misty: Next is…

James: And I would like everyone to notice that I'm not gay.

Again, James gains many odd looks.

Pikachu: Just tell us the next frikkin' couple!

Misty: It's Neoshipping. That means you Cassidy. And Butch.

Butch: Well…

Cassidy:*cutting in* That's easy one. Answer is no.

Misty: And you have nothing else to say about it?

Butch: Just that…

Cassidy:*cutting in again*Nothing more. We have strictly work relationship.

Brock:*curious*So how about James and Cassidy? Or Jessie and Butch?

Misty:*screaming* Those aren't on the list next, they come later!

Jessie:*ignoring Misty* Me and Butch? Now, talking about plain ridiculous…

Butch: We're…

Jessie:*cutting in* working for the same boss, yes. But is there anything else in common? Good, you got my point.

Cassidy: And as for me and James, it's a no go. How could it? He's my worst enemy's best friend.

James: I'd like to say, that just because I'm not interested in Cassidy, it doesn't make me a gay.

Ash: Ok, then what does it make you?

Tracey:*ignoring Ash* Maybe he likes Misty?

James:*bursts out in hysterical laughter* I'd… like… Misty?

Meowth:*snickering* Obviously dese people have no sense of reality…

Misty:*screaming* Are you insulting me?

Brock: Yes they are.

Misty:*wipes out her mallet*Ok, who's the first one to make fun of me?

Everyone back away from her.

James: But I wanna say, all this doesn't mean I'm gay.

Pikachu:*annoyed* Than what does it mean?

Tracey: Yeah, you haven't been interested in single woman!

James: Well, it's simple... You see, I'm really*throws off his uniform revealing a mini skirt and a tank top* a woman!

Everyone, minus Jessie, Meowth, Cassidy and Butch, stare at him stunned

Ash: WHAAAAA?

Jessie:*rolling her eyes* Well, duh, how dumb are you twerps? Wasn't it obvious?

Brock: I always thought he was just a gay...

James:*smiling*As you can see, I'm not.

Misty: Jessie, did you know about this?

Jessie: Of course. We spend practically every moment together. How could I not know? Besides, it's a Team Rocket rule. All members of a Team must be same sex.

Gary:*realizing something*Then that would mean...*turns to Cassidy&Butch* that one of you...

Ash:*puzzled* So... is Butch also a woman? But he never cross dresses and*gets hit by Misty's mallet* OW!

Butch: I'm not...

Cassidy:*cuts in* He's a man. So am I!*throws off her uniform, revealing jeans and T-shirt and very masculine body*(Oh, and don't ask!)

Misty:*shaking her head* I think I've discovered way more than I ever wanted to know about these people...

Brock: I guess this turn of events sorta disables Rocketgirlshipping...

Cassidy:*with deeper voice*(Yet another don't ask)Actually, not quite. You see, I was a woman and we used to be an item, me and Jessie. But when I got my sex changed, she didn't approve and dumped me.*gives Jessie an evil glare* Stupid lesbian freak...

Jessie:*screaming* Hey! We agreed to never ever mention it to anyone!

Cassidy:*evil smile* Too late.

Gary: Misty, since you're also into women, isn't bitchshipping a working option?

Jessie: Hah! Like I would ever be interested in anyone like her!

Misty:*little offended* It's not like I wanted anything with you, either, but I wanna know what's wrong with me!

Jessie: Oh, c'mon, you look more like a boy than a woman!

Misty: Do not!

Everyone: Do too!

Misty looks shocked.

James: Eh, since we're here to talk about love...

Tracey: Actually we're here to talk about pairings that some stupid people have came up with.

James: Whatever. I'd still like to clear this out. I'm in love with you Brock! Will you go out with me?

Brock: Sorry, but you're not my type.

James:*heartbroken* What?

Meowth: Don't be stupid! All da gals are "your type"!

Brock:*little uncomfortable* Uh... well... no...

Misty: Yes they are! You fall for every single woman we meet! How can you be so cruel to poor James... eh, is it still James?

James:*confused* Sure. Why?

Misty: Erm, no special reason...

Jessie: But the point was, why the hell Brock isn't jumping to the walls, since he finally found a girl who's interested in him!

Brock:*quietly* 'Cause I'm not into girls.

Everyone: WHAT?

Misty: But... but... but... how... I mean, why...

Brock:*sigh* I was trying to cover up. Do you have any idea how homophobic ten years old are?

Ash has started to edge away from Brock.

Brock: Ash... there's something that I wanted to tell to you for the longest time...

Ash:*edging further away* Yeah...?

Brock: I really care for you... not just the brotherly way...

Ash:*hands on his ears, eyes tightly shut* No, no, no! I don't wanna know! I can't hear you, la-la-laa...

Brock:*reaching his hand out to touch Ash* Please, darling, listen to me…

Ash:*jumps away from him* AAARGH! Don't touch me you sick, stupid, perverted…

Tracey:*helpfully* Gay?

Ash: Yeah!

Prof Oak:*eying the list* Does this mean you don't like Palletshipping, Ash?

Ash:*looking horrified* What does that mean? Wait, WAIT! I don't wanna know!

Mrs. Ketchum: Ash dear, that's not proper way to act. You listen to what nice Professor Oak has to say and you answer politely.

Ash: Yes mom.

James: Palletshipping or Shishi, whichever, stands for Ash and Gary.

Jessie: How do you know?

James: I've surfed in the net. Plus it says so in this list.

Ash: Me and Gary? NOOOOOOOO!

Gary:*blushing lightly* Yes, exactly as Ash says.

Ash:*sobbing* Goddammit people! I'm ten! Can't you just leave me alone? All I wanna do is train my pokémons and become a master...

Jenny: Train your pokémon, eh? You're not romantically or fysicly involved with any of them, are you? Like Pikachu?

Ash: Whaa? That's sick! No!

Jenny: So much for that theory.*puts another mark in the Shipping list*

Misty: What are you doing?

Jenny: I'm putting mark on every pairing that already has been proved unrealistic. This way we won't go through unnecessary trouble and be out from here as soon as possible.

Misty:*stars in her eyes* Wow, that's great… You're so smart…

Mrs. Ketchum: Could we please take all remaining shippings involving my son, so he can then leave? I just can't see him suffering like this…

Jenny: In that case, next, Ritchie and Ash!

Ash: HELP!

Joy: Ok, no more same sex pairings for him.

James: Fine. The last one with Ash is Redshipping. That means him and you, Jessica.

Jessie: They think I would like the twerp?

Cassidy: I think it's sorta placed in the future…

Ash:*very red* It sure wouldn't have to be…

Jessie: WHAT?

Misty: Yes, Ash, I though you said you were too young to…

Ash: I'm twelve already! And Jessie has so… um… so… nice and big heart… pair of hearts, actually…

Jessie: Why you little…*hits Ash off the stage with her mallet*

James:*confused* I thought he said he was ten…

Misty: Like anyone really knows how old we are…

Mrs. Ketchum:*looking to the back stage* Could we please see why I'm here? I wanna go and make sure Ash is alright…

Brock:*excited* I can go.

Jenny: Sure, since all pairings with Brock and any girl are useless now…

Brock gets up from his seat and leaves to the back stage.

Gary: I could go as well.*looking after Brock unfriendly*

Jenny: We're not through with you yet!

Joy: We still have Egoshipping. That means you too Misty.

Gary: I'm not into her. Now can I go?*doesn't wait for answer, gets up and leaves*

Misty: Well, I could like Gary, but…

Tracey: But you're into girls!

Misty: Actually, my true love is Psyduck. It just doesn't love me back…*buries her head in her hands*

Meowth:*comes over to Misty* Now, now… Me knows how it feels to be rejected by your true love…

James: Meowthsie?

Jessie: James?*gets and odd look from James*

Joy: Jessie?

Tracey: Giovanni?

Meowth: No! Pikachu!*starts crying as well*

Jenny:*looking happy* Now that took care of so many shippings…

Prof Oak: So Pikachu, you don't love Meowth?

Pikachu: Whaddo you think?

Jenny: Then who?

Pikachu: In my life, there is no room for "love". I'm the star of this show! How do you think I got into that position? Please the producers, that's the first rule of show business…

Jessie and James stare at the yellow mouse as they realize something.

Jessie: Doesn't this mean, that…

James: …if only we would…

Jessie: We'd be the stars…

They look at each other and race of the stage yelling: We just remembered we had to meet the producers. See ya later!

Meowth: Hey! Wait for Meowth!*runs after them*

Suddenly we hear a yelp and Ash runs back to the stage, hiding behind his mother.

Ash:*pointing at Brock and Gary who followed him* Keep them away from me!

Mrs. Ketchum:*sighs* Ash, sit down. I'll just go over the pairings that I'm involved with and then we can go home.

Ash sits down, still giving Brock&Gary(who currently are fighting over something or someone) terrified looks.

Jenny: Ok, Mrs. Ketchum… first there is you and Professor Oak.

Mrs. Ketchum:*smiling happily* Sure, that's all true.

Prof Oak: Yes, of course.

Joy: Than we can leave the rest of the pairings involving you…

Mrs. Ketchum: No, please tell.

Jenny:*looking bit puzzled* Very well. Next, you and Giovanni.

Mrs. Ketchum:*still smiling* Yes.

Joy: What?

Jenny: You just agreed that you and Prof Oak…

Mrs. Ketchum: Well, I don't have a job and I don't have to look after my son or clean the house, so I have plenty of extra time.

Tracey: Both Giovanni and Prof Oak?

Mrs. Ketchum: Yes, and Mimie too, sometimes.

Prof Oak: Don't forget Muk.

Mrs. Ketchum: How could I. But he likes you more.

Ash:*starting to realize what's going on* Mom…? Prof Oak…? I'm feeling very sick…

Mrs. Ketchum: Oh Ash, don't be so childish!

Misty: Maybe we should move on?

Jenny: Right. How about Orangeshipping?

Joy: Tracey and Misty…

Misty: I guess… since no one else seems to like me… I could go with Tracey…

Tracey: I'm sorry Misty, but my heart has already made its choice… Prof Oak!

Prof Oak: Really? Ugh, I'm flattert and everything, but… you're not my type.

Tracey: What? You like a huge piece of smelly mud more than me?

Mrs Ketchum: Now now, don't insult Muk. It's a very nice pokémon…

Tracey: I'm out of here!*leaves*

Cassidy: The list is almost through. We have only Publicservantshipping left. Joy, Jenny…

Jenny: I can only speak for myself, but I do think that has quite strong base on reality…

Joy: Oh, only from your part!

Jenny: What? Don't be stupid, I know you…

Joy: I love Misty.

Misty: Finally someone likes me and it has to be Joy! WHY?

Joy: You… You don't like me?

Misty: I'd prefer Jenny over you anytime!

Joy lets out a sob and runs off the stage.

Jenny: Joy!*runs after her*

Butch: Since that was the last pairing, I think we can all…*looks around himself to see everyone else have left already* go…

He shugs, gets up and leaves.