First and Last Thing Jumping into the portal was the last thing I wanted. Slayers don't live long lives, and I know that, always have, but I somehow expected to live until I was, like, eighty, wrinkled and senile.

So why is this so unsettling? This shouldn't be a disappointment. I should feel like shouting 'Hey, I'm alive again!'

So why do I wish I were dead?

They resurrected me, because they love me. Because I'm the only one who can do it. Because Dawn needs me.

I'm waiting like a deer in headlights, waiting to be killed, to be ran over, to be shot down.

To die yet again.

Why can't I be dead?