|Wacky Legend of the Five Rings fiction Bites
Author: Daimyo Shi PM
Random wacky laugh bits from Diamond Edition Legend of the Five RingsRated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,640 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 06-23-06 - Published: 11-08-03 - id: 1592605
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Toturi the Third Vs. Kaneka the Final Confrontation!
By: Doji Hajime
The Shogun has surrounded the Toshi Ranbo, the loyalist armies have shattered and the Shogun has broken into the Imperial palace. He has entered the great hall. On the Steel Throne, Sits Toturi the Third rather calmly. To one side stand Bayushi Sunetra she has readied a katana in one hand and a set of Surikan in the other, poisoned no doubt. to the other stands the Empress, Toturi Kurako, Her Katana drawn and a scowl on her face. just before the Emperor stand his Emerald Champion, Yasuki Hachi in a Kakita draw stance that is perfect. Kaneka in his armour but without his helmet and mempo, has a big smirk on his face. At his side stands Shiba Daijiro.
"You are defeated, Brother! the Clans that supported lay shattered at the hands of my army. The Unicorn, Lion, Phoenix, Mantis and scorpion have joined me. The Crane forces are shattered, the Crab that supported them are no more. Only the Crab on the wall lay untouched, the new Crab Champion Kisada refuses to march for you and abandon his duty. Our Brother Sezaru has become the oracle of Void, replacing your mother. you have nothing except those here in this mostly empty room."
"I am not defeated yet, Kaneka." says Toturi the Third, with a level of confidence far above that which even the bravest samurai can fake in the face of certain defeat.
Toturi Kurako take a step forward, "You are a disgrace, Kaneka. You shame the Akodo, the Lion and your father." Says Toturi Kurako with a bitter venom in her voice that can almost be seen.
"You wounds me, Kurako-chan." says Kaneka.
"You are not emperor yet! Kaneka, you will refer to my wife with respect." Snarls Toturi the Third.
Kaneka laughs, "I shall be in minutes, what stand before me in no threat." says Kaneka.
"You are nothing more than a son of a Eta, neither Lion or Scorpion blood can run in your veins. Nothing more than fouled water is your blood." spits Sunetra.
"Please, where do you think I managed such tricks if not from the Scorpion." says Kaneka.
"The Scorpion know loyalty, you are not worth loyalty. The scorpion will avenge the Emperor." says Sunetra.
"Hah! I doubt it, they are firmly behind me." says Kaneka.
"You faced me once before, Kaneka. You were the victor that day, however that was sometime ago. I am much more skilled today than that day. Duel me Kaneka, let us settle this as men." says Hachi.
"No, Hachi I shall take care of this." says Toturi the Third "Stand aside."
"Toturi-tomo?" says Hachi not yet moving.
"Trust me, I know what I am doing." says Toturi the Third with a smirk as big as any ever seen in the near 1200 years of the Empire.
" . . ." Hachi gets out of the Emperor's Way. Toturi the Third gets up.
Kurako grabs her husband's kimono "wait . . . "
Toturi the third turns slightly and give her his knowing smile and a wink. Strangely this reassures Kurako and she lets go.
Kaneka stands looking at his brother with crossed arms and a smirk. "What could you possibly take care of me with?" says Kaneka with voice so sure of itself it seems to pat Kaneka on the back.
"This." says Toturi the Third from his Kimono sleeve. a small rectangular collection of paper some held together between some thick paper. The front is tan and red with a image that looks vaguely like a human being. On the tan banner on the left side of this object are the words Wind of War.
"NNOOOOOOOOOO!" cries Kaneka and the jumps back trying to shield his face from the object in Toturi the Third's hands.
"Yes." says Toturi the Third with a even wider smirk. He moves forward with the Object in his hand driving Kaneka back. Soon there nowhere for Kaneka to go. Daijiro cusses under his breath "if only Kaneka was a Shugenja."
Toturi presses the object against the forehead of Kaneka. Kaneka catches fire. He Screams as he is consumed by the flames.
Deep in the shadows of the Throne room a masked spirit with an oddly clutched hand whispers to himself, "Well that was filling."
Deep in the Shadowlands, Daigotsu sits watching the action in a obsidian mirror. "Shahai-chan? am I that evil?" says Daigotsu. Shahai is draped over her loving man. "well, Daigotsu-kun . . . Not really but there is no shame in being the second evilest man in Rokugan."
Daigotsu sulks. Shahai tries to stroke away Daigotsu pain.
Deep in the darkness corners of Jigoku, in the Kyuden of Fu Leng, fu leng, Oni no Akuma and The First Oni are viewing the events from the throne room.
Fu Leng shakes his head "damn, that was Cruel! I mean not even I would pul that kind of stuff."
the first Oni nods.
In the realms of Tengoku, The thunders and several Kami have been watching the events.
"That is my boy!" says Toturi with a puffed out chest.
"OUR boy, Toturi-chan" says Toturi Kaede
"They are both your boys." mutters Hoturi.
"Hey, I never killed my son!" says Toturi.
"I didn't know, damn it! I swear if you bring it up again I borrowing Hida's Tetsubo and beating you within an inch of your immortal life!" snarls Hoturi.
"Well it was an amusing story." says Ikoma taking a drag of his pipe.
I hope I have inspired a chuckle at least. If not well tough:P
If Daidoji Gisei annotated this I be the happiest Crane on the boards.