Disclaimer: Neither Weiss Kreuz nor Saturday Savior belong to me. If they
did I might have more money than I do.
Summary: Song fic to Failure's Saturday Savior off Fantastic Planet. Aya's
POV.
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'I'm never gonna say the words, that you want
I'm never gonna feel the shame, like you do
I'm never gonna stretch my shape, to be with you'
I know what you want from me. You think if you keep giving yourself to me
you'll break me down. What you don't know, or refuse to see, is that there
isn't anything in me to give you. Everything that's left in me that's good
has claim on it.
I don't need you. Not like you seem to need me. I want you, with a nearly
blinding intensity that I feel no shame for, but I don't need you. And I
feel no shame for that either. What you give me I could get anywhere. Any
willing body would do. You're just convenient.
I don't accommodate you. I've never given you any leeway just because I
fuck you. Yet you continue to let me. You let me in again and again. You
let me see how vulnerable you really are behind that laconic exterior. Why?
When you must realize that I don't care. I've never given any indication
that I do. Have I?
'I'm never gonna make you feel, that you're satisfied
I'm never gonna feel you pain, like you wish I would
I'm never gonna open up, more than this'
Sometimes, late at night, after I've left your bed, I wonder what you get
out of our arrangement. What kind of satisfaction do you receive? I'm
nothing like the women you perpetually chase. You get no soft caresses or
murmured endearments.
I do nothing to make it easier for you. I don't let you pretend I'm some
one else, that you're someone else. When we come together it's as equals,
knowing exactly who and what the other person is.
I don't empathize with you. I have too much of my own pain to care about
yours. Really, it's all I have left, my pain and my memories, and I guard
them zealously. I don't want to share them. You already know too much. I
don't want someone to understand. I don't want absolution. Not from you.
'I'm never gonna break apart, quite like you
I'm never gonna long for life, the way you do
I'm never gonna push you out, 'cause you're not in'
There are nights when you look so fragile. As though the slightest blow
would shatter you. Against my better instincts, at those moments, I want to
shelter you. I cant' though. I won't. I won't allow myself to be drug into
the semblance of life and caring that you offer. I'm a murderer. I neither
want nor deserve what you're offering.
But even on those nights when you are fragile and need me, I wont' push you
away. How could I? I never let you close in the first place.
'Saturday savior, I can be that
Saturday savior, I will be your
Saturday savior, I can be that
Imposter in your bed
Wake him up please'
fin
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