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Author of 18 Stories |
Disclaimer: The songs in this story are all from the CD: Dr. Demento: The Greatest Christmas Novelty CD of all time!
LoneWolf: BOO!
MUWHAHAHAH! You thought I was done with Super Smash Bros fics didn't ya? Yeah well no body likes nay of my other stuff. You SSBM fans are my only ego booster so don't' forget to review!
This is going to be a very special EARLY edition Christmas fic. The last one didn't even get finished so I'm doing this one a month early. If you're not in the mood for it listen to a Christmas carol!
Samus: Can I ask a question?
LW: Certainly Samus.
Samus: Why is a wiccan celebrating Christmas?
LW: Because the message of Christmas is clear! Play Santa again and I'll kill you next year!... er. I mean, it's a message of good will toward all human kind and I support that.. Yeah. that's it. _
Samus: Riiiiiiiiight. Whatever you say... *mutters* You insane lunatic.
LW: What?
Samus I said lets start the story.
LW: Right-o!
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
LoneWolf: *sings* Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat!
Samus: *in a sing-song voice to the tune of the song* If you sing that song I will kick your ass.
LoneWolf: Sorry. ^_^ Well, anyway, it's that time of year again!
Fox: What the hell..? It's not even thanksgiving yet!
LoneWolf: We went through this Fox! I didn't finish the last one! I have to start this one early dammit now why don't you get off my ass about it all right!?!
Fox: *squeaks* Sorry...
LW: All right then. NOW! While we begin decorating the house lets get some carols under way!
Link: I have one!
LW: Is it the one I think it is?
Link: I'd imagine so this is your story.
LW: Good point! Take it away!
Link: *leaps onto the piano stool and spins around * Weeeeee!
LW: *slaps his forehead* Sonuva-. Link: All Rightie. *begins playing the piano and singing* Christmas time is hear by golly, disapproval would be folly! Deck the halls with hunks of holly, fill your cup and don't say when!
Fox & Samus: * try to muffle laughter*
Peach & Zelda: *glare disapprovingly at link*
LW: *Joins in on the song* Kill the turkey, ducks and chickens, mix the punch drag out the dickens, even though the prospect sickens brother here we go again!
Link: On Christmas day you can't get sore, your fellow man you must adore, there's time to rob him all the more the other three hundred and sixty- four!
LW: Relations sparing no expense, for some useless old utensil, or a matching pen and pencil!- just the thing I need, how nice.
Link: It doesn't matter how sincere it is, now how heart felt the spirit, sentiment will not endear it, what's important is the price!
LW: Hark the Harold tribune sing! Advertising wondrous things! God rest ye merry merchant may ye make the Yule tide pay!
Link: Angels we have heard on high, tell us to go out and buy!
LW: Sooooo. Let the ruckus slay bells jingle, hail our dear old friend Chris Cringle!
Link & LW: Driving his reindeer across the sky! Don't stand underneath when they fly by!!! *both finish and take a bow*
Zelda: That was disgusting!
Peach: *mutters* Neanderthals...
Zelda: WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT LINK!?!
Peach: Eep.
Everyone: Run, Peach, RUN!
Peach: *zip!*
Zelda: GET BACK HERE! *flies after her*
LW: Now that they're out of our hair. ON WARD!
Narrator: And so the Smashers and LoneWolf began to decorate the author's house for Christmas, and all was well and merry and much egg nog was consumed.
Falco: Hey... Y'know what???
Everyone: What?
Falco: *breaks into song, making others wonder if he is stoned or just drunk * I broke a smash bat on Ness' head, somebody snitched on me! I hid a frog in Katt's bed, somebody snitched on me!
I spilled some ink on LoneWolf's rug, bought some tobacco with a penny slug, somebody snitched on me!
Sooo..!
Everyone else & Falco: I'M GETTING' NUTTIN' FOR CHRISTMAS!
Falco: Cuz I ain't been nuttin' but bad!
I put a tack in Peppy's chair, tied a knot in Peach's hair, somebody snitched on me! I did a dance on Samus' plants, climbed a tree and tore my pants, filled the sugar bowl with ants, somebody snitched on me.
Sooooooooooooooo *deep breath*.!
Everyone & Falco: I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas! Mommy and Daddy are mad! I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas!
Falco: Cuz I ain't been nuttin' but bad!
Falco: I won't be seeing Santa Clause, somebody snitched on me! He won't come visit me because, somebody snitched on me! Next year I'll be going straight, next year I'll be good just wait, I'd start now but it's to late, somebody snit-
Narrator: *a thud issues from the chimney*
Falco: *Gasp* Who's that coming down the chimney with a bag over his shoulder?! *Bigger gasp* It's him! It's him I thought he wasn't c-o-o- oming!
Link: *climbs out of the chimney with a Santa hat on instead of his usual one, accompanied by his red tunic* Where's the silver ware little boy?
Falco: *in a hyper active tone* In the dinning room like I told you!
Link: And the jewelry?
Falco: Same place as last time, and the milk and cookies?
Link: The usual?
Falco: The usual, join me on the chorus okay?
Link: *shrugs* Why not?
Both: I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas! Mommy and Daddy are mad! I 'm Getting nuttinnnnnnnnnnnnn' foooooooooor Christmaaaaaaaaas!
Falco: Have a good season?
Link: *lifts a bag of stolen things* Excellent!
Narrator: And as the drunken Falco and the apparently insane Link finish singing everyone stares.
Falco & Link: *bow gracefully, then fall over each other and land on their faces, laughing*
LW: Uhm... Yeah... Anyway! What does everyone love about Christmas?
Fox: Family!
Mario: Food!
Ganondorf: Presents!
LW: Yes my friends, Family, Food, Presents. This is what we think of when we think of Christmas. WHY!? Who the hell started the tradition that we should invite over all of our goofy relations for some huge ass party where we're all crammed into a room with a fire on so it's insanely warm and uncomfortable and stuffing our faces till we're bloated and have the runs all day on the 26th of December!?
Everyone: ..
LW: What? o.O
Samus: Right. Okay! Hey Jackasses!
Narrator: Gandalf, Bowser, Ness and Pichu all look up.
Samus: Geeze who woulda thought people would actually respond to that as a name. Anyway! Here's a quiz!
LW: Okay.
Samus: What are the twelve days of Christmas? Who thought that up? I mean there's Christmas, and Christmas Eve. What else is there?
Falco: Wrestling day!
Fox: It's Boxing Day.
Falco: Okay fine, Boxing, whatever.
Samus: Right so that's three. What about the rest?
LW: New years!
Samus: Four days
Link: New Years Eve!
Samus: That's five.
LW: There's a weekend in there, Saturday and Sunday.
Samus: Well. Alright I guess. So that's seven. What about the rest?
LW: Well... Those last five. I believe those would be the mystery days.
Samus: Riiight. Okay.
LW: Mmhmmm. Well! With that out of the way it's time for the tradition!
Link: Now!?
Zelda: Really!?
LW: Yes.
Mario: O-kay Do-kay!
LW: All right! It's time for the Nintendo Twelve days of Christmas!!!
Narrator: We'll return with the Nintendo Twelve days of Christmas if we get a few decent reviews of this chapter.
~ * ~ * ~ *~
Zelda: Say who was the narrator?
LW: *points at Pikachu, who is holding a megaphone and has a hat on that says "Narrator" *
Pikachu: Pika! ^_^
Zelda: What the. All he can say is his first name!
LW: Well then who really WAS the narrator?
Zelda: I have no idea.
LW: That's scary.
REVIEW! ^_^