Author's Notes: Same author's notes, and usual disclaimers apply. I don't own any of the characters, except those I create. I'm not making any money off them, yadda, yadda, yadda…..

For more information, and specific details, please see the complete Author's Notes & Disclaimers at the beginning of any one of the first 6 chapters.

Summary: Years after being forced to leave NYC & go into hiding, Alex is finally able to return. But will things ever go back to the way they were? Can her life ever really be normal again?

Rating: PG - PG-13 in first few chapters, then may or may not increase to R rating, depending on author's whims:)

Contact: Any extra comments (beyond the review) questions, or concerns, Email me at: benbrattlover at yahoo dot com

Enjoy, and after you're done, please hit the pretty, and sexy, little purple button at the bottom of the page, and leave me a review. Thank you!

"Alex, come in." Capt. Cragen says softly as he ushers Lara into his office, closing the door behind her. "It's been a long time."

Lara nods. "Yes, yes it has."

"I heard through the grapevine that you were back," he remarks as Lara nods quietly.

Several moments of uncomfortable silence pass before Lara speaks. "Listen, Don, about the way I left…" she pauses for a few seconds trying to collect her thoughts. "About that letter, I'm sorry."

Capt. Cragen sighs heavily, looking away for a few moments, and not saying anything.

"I wasn't trying to hurt you, but Olivia told me what happened – how you reacted after receiving it," admits Lara softly. "I never mean for that to happen. I just thought that it was the best thing for both of us."

Captain Cragen nods as Lara continues. "I just didn't want you to feel like you had any obligations or commitment to me," she explains. "I mean, there I was in hiding, in a strange town, with a new name and a new look, not knowing anybody, and always looking over my shoulder worrying that my cover would be blown, or that all of a sudden I'd be yanked away, without even a moment's notice to start all over again. I didn't know when I could come back, or even if I ever could. I just didn't want tie you down to that kind of rootless life. I thought it was for the best, to just let go of each other, so we'd be able to move on with our lives – our separate lives apart from another. I never meant to hurt you, Don."

"I know that now." Capt. Cragen confesses quietly. "But at the time, it was like losing you all over again. After losing Marge in that plane crash, and then finally falling in love with you, only to lose you, and then get that letter. It was like reopening old wounds that never healed."

Lara sighs heavily. "I know it was hard," she murmurs. "It was hard on me too. Not only did I have to give up my whole life, I had to give up the man I loved. But I had no choice. I had to sever all ties to my whole identity. I lost six years of my life – SIX YEARS! That is time I'll never be able to get back. During these past six years, I have lost so much! I lost my job, my home, and my friends. My mother died and I wasn't able to be there! I couldn't even go to her funeral! My own mother's funeral! Do you have any idea what it's like? I get told about my mother's death by the Marshal's Service, and then I have to just go about my day, happy-go-lucky, as if nothing happened. I can't be with my family, I can't even take any time to grieve. You may have suffered, but at least you didn't have to give up everything in the world you knew, and lose 6 years of your life in the process. Things may have been hard for you, but it was just as hard, if not even harder for me. Just think about that."

Captain Cragen hangs his head. "I'm sorry!" he says apologetically. "You're right, what I have gone through is nothing compared to what you have had to endure."

Lara nods silently.

"So where do we go from here?" asks Capt. Cragen softly. "Do we just pick up where we left off six years ago, and start seeing each other again?"

Lara sighs heavily. "I don't know, Don," she says. "So many years have gone by, and a lot of things have changed in the meantime. I'm a different person now, and I'm sure you are too. We're probably going to be working together again – at least from time to time, and maybe we should just leave things the way they are. Things are already difficult as it is. It's going to be hard enough for me to readjust to finally being back, after all these years – without having to rebuild complicated romantic relationships. I think it's better if we just stay friends."

"You're probably right." Capt. Cragen admits, with slight sadness in his voice. "It's probably for the best. So, when are you going to be rejoining the D.A.'s office?"

"Well. I have a meeting with Arthur Branch tomorrow, and after that, we'll see." Lara says, as she glances at the clock hanging on the wall behind Capt. Cragen's desk, out of the corner of her eye. "Listen, I need get going. I've got tons of things to take care of. Being away from your life for six years really takes its toll, you know?"

Capt. Cragen nods silently, as Lara turns and heads towards the door. "Alex?" he calls out.

"Yeah?"

"If I haven't said it before, I'm just so glad you're back, for good. It's going to be really great having you around again."

Lara smiles. "Thanks. It's good to be back, finally – after all these years!" she says, as she opens Capt. Cragen's office door and stands on the threshold between his office, and the main squad-room. "Well, I'm going to go now. But I'll see you around soon."

"All right," the Captain nods, as Lara heads towards Olivia's desk where she is sitting, working on paperwork. "Olivia?"

"Alex?" says Olivia, putting down her pen, and looking up at her. "How did it go?"

Lara sighs. "Okay – under the circumstances," she answers, before lowering her voice, and speaking just above a whisper. "We're staying broken up. We decided to leave things as they are and just stay friends and colleagues."

"Oh, Alex! I don't know what to say!" Olivia murmurs softly. "I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay!" says Lara reassuringly. "It's for the best. We'll probably be working together again, and its better not to get involved in any complex romances. We're still going to be friends, though. So I think everything will be all right."

Olivia nods. "Alex, I'm just so glad you're back now, for good."

"Yeah, it's good to be back, finally!" agrees Lara, as she quickly glances at her watch, out of the corner of her eye. "Well, listen, I should be going, I've got to take care of some things. But you still want to get together tonight?"

"Of course!" smiles Olivia, "Elliott is just DYING to see you again. So come over around 6:30."

Lara suddenly remembers something. "So you're in Queens now, right?"

"No I forgot!" Olivia smacks her forehead in mock annoyance. "We moved – after we got married. He said that his old house had just too many memories, and we all wanted to have a fresh start. We don't live in Queens anymore. We bought a house on Staten Island."

"Wow!" Alex whistles, raising an eyebrow. "That's great!"

Olivia nods. "Yeah, it was a little out of our price range. But it's worth it." she admits, lowering her voice. "We had to take a little bit from both my mom and Kathy's life insurance to make the down payment. But when Elliott took the administrative position, he got a raise and with both our incomes, everything's fine, and we put the rest of the insurance into trust funds for the kids' college. We needed this place, though. Aside from the memories of Elliott's old house, especially with the babies coming, it would just be too cramped. We needed a place with a lot more room, and a bigger yard for the kids to run and play outside, safely. This home has that, and more. The move was best for everyone."

"That's great, Olivia!"

"Thanks!" Olivia smiles, as she tears off a sheet of paper from her yellow legal pad. "So, let me give you the directions to our house, both by the Staten Island Ferry, or through Brooklyn and over the Verrazano Bridge."

When Det. Benson is finished writing, she folds the sheet of paper in half, then holds it out. "Here you go."

Lara takes the offered paper. "Thanks."

"So we'll see you at 6:30 then?"

"Yup!" replies Lara. "I'll be there. See you then! Bye!"

Not seeing any of the SVU detectives around to take leave of, Lara walks out of the squad-room, and the precinct into the cold and frosty winter day.

To Be Continued…