Disclaimer: See previous chapters

Chapter 14, Anger Management

"So they jus appeared?" Stephan clarified.

"Pretty much."

"May I ask something of you?" Gandalf interjected.

"And what is that?"

"Must you continually speak of us as if we are not in the room?"

"Listen, Gand-droid, you don't exist in this world. You're the creations of some troubled writer's mind here! You're commercialized! For Christ's sake man! You're a movie! We'll talk about you any way we please! If you got a problem with that, you can just march your self back up stairs and figure out a way to get home on your own! GOT IT!" Amy was not happy. She had every right to be of course. A troupe of film and literature characters had magically appeared in her bedroom. Her neighbors were getting suspicious. She was running on a major sugar high and her house was being destroyed.

"No I haven't 'got it'! From the moment we arrived you've done nothing but display your obvious insanity, eat, and shriek!"

"What's wrong with that?" Ely wanted to know.

"Oh, well excuse me for being distracted by the hoards of soldiers, pirates and wizards pouring out of my closet!" Amy shouted.

"Amy, please, breath in, breath out, Goosefraba. . .Goooosefraaabaaa. . ." I soothed. It didn't work.

"And another thing! I've quite had it with you holier-than-thou, I'm-a-wise-all-powerful-wizard bullshit of an attitude!" Amy ranted on.

"Is that a real phrase?" Stephen asked Kate. "'Bullshit of an attitude'?" Kate shrugged.

"SHUT UP!" Amy barked at us. Wow, she angry.

"Hot damn!" John cheered. "Montague's in a right state, don't you think Riley?"

"Most certainly!"

"Not helping!" I snapped. "Amy, please, repeat after me, 'I am the Me'!"

"Ah come on Henderson, stop acting like you know what you're talking about." Riley laughed.

"I do know what I'm talking about. That's what the therapist made Paul repeat when he got really, really angry. That counting to ten business didn't do much good, he'd just skip three through nine." I explained.

"If you say so."

"Now, Amy, please, 'I am the Me'!"

"I am the Me." Amy growled through gritted teeth. She was attempting top control her temper, however, it wasn't exactly working.

"'I am at home with the Me'" I continued.

"I am at home with the Me." Amy repeated.

"'This is Me breathing.'"

"This is Me breathing."

"Better?"

"Not really. I still feel like kicking his ass. Or better yet . . . Ely darling!" Ely perked up.

"No!" Kate and I shouted together.

"Sic'em!" Ely cheerfully obliged. Leaping over the counter top, brownie in hand, Ely chucked the nearest book at the old wizard's head before reaching for an Inu-Yasha Action figure we'd been discussing the likeness of before the banishment to Amy's bedroom mere hours before.

"Mmhm! Mmhmhmhmhm! MWHAHAHAHAHA!" Ely yipped enthusiastically, chasing after the fleeing wizard.

"I'm quite certain she's of the Dark." One of the Old Ones concluded.

"Damn straight. It's those anime shows she and Joanna watch." Riley cackled.

"Devil's work!" John laughed. They all knew my bible thumping grandmother detested anime and believed it Satan's doings.

"Yes, yes I know. My immortal soul is doomed to burn in one of the pits of hell while the rest of you saints sit comfortably in heaven." I waved off the boys comments.

"JO! DO SOMETHING!" Kate shouted down stairs. She and Saint Stephen had run after Ely in an attempt to keep her away from heavy and/or sharp objects. Obviously, she had gotten hold of one such an item.

"What does she think I can do?" I asked John.

"I dunno. Taser her?" He suggested.

"What makes you think I carry a Taser with me?"

"You've got pepper spray." John shrugged. This was true. There was a bottle on my key chain.

"I really don't think pepper spray is going to make things better." I cried incredulously.

"HELLO DOWN THERE! HELP!" Stephen shouted.

"Oh wait; I just had this really interesting idea."

"What's that?"

"Duct tape."

"Hm, yes. I do believe that would work." I applauded John. "There's some in my book bag."

"MWAHAHAHAHA!"

"HAHAHAHA!" We cackled insanely. Amy was relaxing on the love seat with the pair of Orlies again, now that the fight had simmered down while Riley hit on Elizabeth Swann as John and I scurried upstairs to save Gandalf, keep Kate and Stephen from hurting themselves, and make sure Ely wasn't charged with sewing scissicular manslaughter.

Okay, yes, I'm a loser. Long time no update and its a bit short, butI've been obsessing over a few of my fiction press stories lately, so forgive me.

Love to my reviewers! Thank you all!