"And maybe my mom'll stop drinkin' and my dad'll come ome," I had muttered to the others, so long ago. This was, and still is, as likely as hell freezing over. My mom had been drinking since before I was born, coming to a peak and plateau when my dad left us.

Didn't even take me, the jerk.

If you ever say my mom's drinkin' is why I'm so messed up, though, I'll kill you. I'm NOT stupid, ok? At least I stole for a reason, unlike X-Ray - that bastard's family is so fuckin' rich . . . damn it, I can't be mad at anyone that built. Fuck.

"Alan?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I come over?"

"Sure, it's not like my mom even notices, she's so fuckin' drunk."

My boyfriend chose to ignore that, and told me he's be there soon.

Louis had always been open about his sexuality, even at camp. I didn't know what it was that I felt when he stuck his foot in front of that rattler, but it certainly wasn't fear of demise. I passed my expression off as 'hope' that the queer would finally leave Camp Green Lake. I know now what emotion it was.

I was experiencing heartbreak. It was a suicide in my eyes, and it pained my soul.

But to follow chronology: when Ziggy and Magnet came out to me over the phone almost a year ago, we just sort of . . . drifted apart. They knew I was uncertain on my feelings about gays, and I knew they were the essence of what made my dad lose it. Ceasing correspondance was an easy, cheap way to end the complications.

However, seeing Louis not long after reminded me of something. Three of the original eight D-Tenters were gay that I knew of - and X-Ray is very questionable. Zero's not an original, this guy named Nicholas (known as Claws in a dreadful parody of St. Nick - Santa Claus) finished his time and reentered society to become . . . an inmate in a high-security prison. He was a serial killer, seventeen when he slaughtered his first victims, and could be tried as a minor. I supported Zigzag's paranoia around that freaky bastard.

Now, thinking about almost half of my friends being gay.actually, it was half, since Claws was NO ONE's friend . . . well, thinking about that reminded me of my dad. He left my mother for another man. And that made me wonder what the Warden knew, if she suspected something. But I doubt that, no one knew about Dad's little secret except me, and that was only because I'd caught him and the postman.

When I started dating Louis last week, I phoned Zigs and Mags, telling them that the painful memory of my father had caused me to kinda shunt them to the side, and abuse Louis far more than he deserved. After all, my boyfriend gets enough shit from his father. So, I told them about Louis and my new relationship, apologized profusely, and kissed Louis soundly afterwards, feeling much better about myself.

Louis arrived in all his bruised and bloody glory, and I helped him to my bed. I held him for a while, careful not to hurt him, and we drifted off in each other's arms.