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Author of 46 Stories |
Shadow
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You're body's warm
But you are not
You give a little
Not a lot
You coup your love
Until we kiss
You're all I want
But not like this
I'm watching you disappear
But you, you were never here
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I rolled over and touched the warm spot where he had laid.
"Remus?" I called out.
No answer.
"Remus?"
I got up and wandered out into the kitchen. He was standing at the window, looking out.
"Remus," I said. "Why didn't you answer me?"
He didn't respond, just kept staring out at the sunrise. I went to him and wrapped an arm around his waist. He turned and looked at me, sadness in his eyes.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
Remus shook his head.
"I should be going," he said.
"Going?" I asked. "Going where? You live here!"
"Not anymore," he said.
"What do you mean?" I asked, completely dumbfounded.
"You haven't noticed, have you Padfoot?" he asked dully.
"Noticed what? What are you talking about?" I asked.
"I haven't really been here for months," he said softly. "I've been nothing but a shadow of myself. An empty shell, wandering through life, so I must go."
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It's only your shadow
Never yourself
It's only your shadow
Nobody else
It's only your shadow
Filling the room
Arriving too late
And leaving too soon
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I stared at Remus in disbelief.
"You're leaving me?" I cried.
"Yes, Sirius," he said.
"But why?" I asked.
"Because all things must come to an end," he said heavily. "I still love you and I always will but things can never be the same."
He turned and picked up his suitcase.
"I should really be going now. My train leaves in less than an hour," he said and turned away.
"Remus wait," I said, desperate to keep him from leaving. "Don't go, please. We'll work through this, you'll feel like yourself again. Just stay here and we'll talk."
"Talk?" he said, as though it were a foreign word. "No Sirius. You can't keep me here."
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I cannot tell if you mean what you say
You say it so loud but you sound far away
Maybe I had just a glimpse of your soul
Or was that your shadow on the wall
I'm watching you disappear
But you were never here
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"Remus, don't go," I said.
He turned around and gazed at me, sadness in his eyes.
"Good-bye," he said.
He turned around, clutching his suitcase, and walked out the door. As soon as he was gone I sank to the floor. Tears streamed down my face in rivers as I sobbed, rocking back and forth. The pain was unlike anything I had ever felt before.
"Remus why? Why did you do this to me?" I moaned.
In the years to come I would understand exactly why he had done this to me. He had wanted me to see how he felt, to know the emptiness that had filled his entire being day in and day out. It would never leave me, just as it would never leave him. I would never be entirely whole again.
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It's only your shadow
Never yourself
It's only your shadow
Nobody else
It's only your shadow
Filling the room
Arriving too late
And leaving too soon
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THE END