SUMMARY: When Shohoku defeated Ryonan for the second time, Sendoh thought he's lost it all... or has he? A RuSen Songfiction

DISCLAIMER: They all belong to someone else... no one's left for me *sniff*

NOTE: The song is by a group called "Simple Plan". This is my first try at a RuSen fic and also my first appearance in this fast growing community. Hope y'all try to be nice to me as you possibly could or else I'll---

JUST KIDDING, of course. Just give me honest criticisms, ne? I'll appreciate whatever it is you think I deserve. Peace!

TITLE: Perfect

AUTHOR: maple freya

GENRE: song fiction / shounen-ai / angst / romance

PAIRING: RuSen

Walking. Shuffling aimlessly through the streets. How he wished he could go on like this forever. Ramble on until he could no longer feel his legs. On and on until he could no longer feel himself.

No longer feel the agonizing pain of having failed someone who had always expected nothing but the best from him.

Nothing but the very best of him.

Maybe if he tried hard enough, he could even be the first man to cicum-trek the world. Conquer the mountains and seas around it on his own two feet and by his own innate strength.

He could get for himself a title that would be his and his alone.

But would that be enough to make his father proud?

"Good shot, Akira!"

"Way the go, son!"

"Keep it up, you're doing great!"

Those were the days. Wonderful, happy days of his childhood when his father would spend the whole afternoon with him on weekends training him to be good in all aspects of the game he, Mr. Sendoh, had always wanted his son to excel in.

And those were the words. Wonderful, ego-boosting words of pride and reassurance with which his father had supplied his callous heart tirelessly and sincerely... In the past.

It was hard to believe that the man who wove out those words, along with his dreams, was the very same man who lashed him through this evening. Painful were the words he said. And up until now, the ache was still radiating from the livid spot on Akira's cheek, straight into the badly bruised part of his soul.

Even as he walked through the night, he felt like a dead man.

What had he ever done to deserve this? To feel this much torment? Had he not put all he's worth to that game? Was he not good enough? Had he not trained hard enough?

Maybe his father was right, all along. He had indeed wasted his time, his efforts on something he never really wanted to do in the first place.

But all he wanted was to be a normal kid. Do things for fun and solely for the heck of it all! He never wanted to bother about winning. About recognition and fame. All these meant nothing to him as long as he had a great time playing on the court.

He loved basketball, but not exactly how his father wanted him to love the game...

Figure this one out... His father had always been Sendoh's strength. His primary source of inspiration. And right from the very moment he first held that orange ball in his hand, he had vowed to do everything he could to make his old man happy.

But everything had just been shattered into shards of frustration and distress by his father's glaring disappointment and disfavor.

Now how tormenting was that? And how much more tormenting could it get?

His GOD had just cut the ground from under him, dashed his hope, trampled on his being... And try as he might he could not ignore the pain it had caused him, was still causing him, and would forever be causing him as he kept his random cruise through life.

On his own...

Before, he could never imagine life without his father. Now, he could hardly imagine life with him as well.

Did his old man still care? Did he really care?

Through the years, all he ever cared about was for him, Akira, to be good at something he had failed to be good at himself. To achieve the best recognitions he had never had the chance to achieve.

All Mr. Sendoh seemed to really care about was for Akira to live the dream he had never realized. Not really for his son to live at all...

He could hardly tell which part of the district he was treading on right now. He was not one to bother about it, either. Nevertheless, he kept his stroll through the unfamiliar territory. Keeping his gaze straight ahead as he pushed his trembling hands deeper into his pockets. How long had he been at this meandering journery mattered but slightly.

In fact, he would never have realized he had been walking way too far and long had not his legs begun to feel faint with his whole body shortly sympathizing extremely with them.

It felt very much like the only part of him left alive was his mind. The chief source of the many tormenting memories and thoughts and emotions that were mercilessly neutralizing his nerves.

Now who's to say the heart took care of emotions? It hardly could tell... It was a rather useless organ.

And it mattered not to Akira Sendoh when it suddenly became silent. Ceased its tapping beats. Its incessant calls for liberation and freedom.

His breath caught. He began to topple forward. And shortly, he was out cold, lying flat on the pavement, his tear-streaked face buried in the thick, gelid snow covering the unfamiliar ground.

Even as his eyes began to close, his mind was filled with nothing but the same agonizing thoughts that brought him to his downfall. They swirled through his head like a fog suffocating all his senses. Making him miss the faint sound of a bicyclye halting right beside him with an urgency surpassing that of a mere meddler.

"Dai...joubu?"

That voice. It sounded strange... Yet very familiar.

"Daijoubu ka... Senpai?"

Go away! his mind cried out. I don't want you to see me like this. YOU of all people!

Akira wanted to jump to his feet and run away. Far away from that person. No, he never wanted that person to see him this vulnerable. To see him this weak...

Eventhough that 's exactly how he was right now...

No matter how hard he tried, he knew he could never get up for another fight.

And, no... nothing's ever gonna be all right.

He felt that person grip his shoulder--hard and tight--and haul him around to lock his trembling body in a warm embrace.

It took him by surprise. How this usually uncaring guy was readily showing him this kind of concern...

This much... emotion.

"What happened?"

Sendoh forced his eyes open to that soft, anxious voice. And found himself looking straight into deep blue eyes.

Those beautiful blue eyes that used to stare at him with a challenging frown were now looking at him with intense worry, their stone-hard gaze softened by a genuine concern.

Suddenly he felt like he could trust this person with everything.

Despite the fact that he was the same being who bore him down to the status of a loser.

With that single forceful dunk, he crashed every bit of Akira Sendoh's dreams. And won Mr. Sendoh's favor as well.

Why did this guy have to be so good...?

His father's words that evening kept on echoing through his head.

"Basketball is not a game of fun! It's about proving your worth. It is about being the best! Being on top of everyone else on court!"

Those words lingered on even longer than the pain his face felt from the sidehook he got from his old man when he tried to speak his mind.

"Y'know what the difference is between you and that Rukawa guy? He obviously loves what he's doing. He has the motivation to be the best! And you... I've never seen you with that same kind of impulse! That same kind of intensity as a player!"

Those words stung like a hundred thousand poisoned goads thrusted through his body.

"You've wasted my expectations of you, Akira..."

Otou-san never did give him a chance to speak for himself. Never did let him do anything for himself. His old man did all the planning for his future. Even going as far as assuming how he felt--how he should feel.

So, he had wasted his time doing something he never really wanted... So, this Rukawa guy was a better player than he was and ever would be because he had the motivation.

So, this was the way he's supposed to feel...

"I'm a worthless captain, ne, Rukawa-kun?"

"Ie..."

"I suck, ne?"

"YOSEI!"

He felt the arms tighten around him once again. That guy was pressing his face to his chest as though muffling all the bitter words that were getting ready to escape his lips.

And that was when he heard the overwhelming melody being pulsated by the Kitsune's heart which seemed to speak of an emotion he had never thought the younger guy was capable of feeling.

And that which he had stopped believing he would ever feel...

"You... did great... Akira..."

The tears began to draw winding streams down his cheeks once again. Wantonly, as though it didn't matter anymore that the guy could see him this devastated.

Here he was, Ryonan's ace captain, Akira Sendoh, crying like a pathetic kid in the arms of his sworn rival who had inadvertently caused him this much strife... Yet, now was giving him this much hope. This much love...

The warm, genuine and unconditional love he had never felt from anyone else.

"I never... can be perfect, ne?" he sobbed.

"Sssh," the Kitsune shushed, gently laying a hand upon his bruised cheek.

The warmth from the contact radiated down to Sendoh's heart... Straight into his soul. He closed his eyes tightly and leaned his cheek deeper into the comfort of his lover's palm.

"You already are," he felt the warm Kitsune breath whisper into his ear. "To me..."

Hey, I've done my part. It's time to do yours. Arigatou Gozaimasu!

Here's the complete lyrics of the song as "Simple Plan" has recorded it. Slight variations have been made in the fiction to fit the flow of the story ^-^

PERFECT
By: Simple Plan

Hey Dad look at me,
Think back and talk to me.
Did I grow up according to plan?

And do you think I'm wasting my time
Doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you dissaprove all along.

And now I try hard to make it,
I just want to make you proud.
I'm never gonna be good enough for you,

I can't pretend that I'm all right
And you cant change me

Cuz we lost it all, nothing lasts forever.
I'm sorry I cant be perfect
Now its just too late, and we cant go back.
I'm sorry I cant be perfect

I try not to think about the pain I feel inside,
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All days you spent with me now seem so far away,
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud.
I'm never gonna be good enough for you.

I can't stand another fight,
And nothing's all right

Cuz we lost it all, nothing lasts forever.
I'm sorry i cant be perfect
Now its just too late, and we cant go back.
I'm sorry I cant be perfect

Nothings gonna change the things that you said,
And nothings gonna make this right again.
Please dont turn your back,
I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you
But you dont understand

Cuz we lost it all, nothing lasts forever.
I'm sorry i cant be perfect
Now its just too late, and we cant go back.
I'm sorry I cant be perfect

Cuz we lost it all, nothing lasts forever.
I'm sorry i cant be perfect
Now its just too late, and we cant go back.
I'm sorry I cant be perfect

Ciao! ^-^