A/N: This is a lovely piece of stupidity that came out of the McDonnell- Barksdale Honors
College at midnight on the week before finals. I bet it won't amuse you half as much as it
amused us. Tune is, of course, "What Do We Do with a Drunken Sailor," that fabulous
old sea shanty.

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What do we do with a drunken Potter?
What do we do with a drunken Potter?
What do we do with a drunken Potter
Early in the morning?

Throw him into bed with a horny hobbit
Throw him into bed with a horny hobbit
Throw him into bed with a horny hobbit
Early in the morning

2. Put him in a church with a bunch of Baptists.
3. Tell Mary Sue he slept with Draco.
4. Put him in a Sailor Moon crossover.
5. Slash him with the cast of Law and Order.
6. Sign him up to appear on Queer Eye.
7. Drop him into a boyband slashfic.
8. Send him off on a Mormon mission.
9. Make him read slash until he's sober.
10. Bash him in the head with a bust of Tolkien.
11. Throw him in the lake for the Giant Squid.
12. Strip him and leave him in Dumbledore's office.
13. Leave him in the dungeons with an angry Voldy.
14. Trap him on a cliff with a stick and balrog.

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Have fun with that. Yeah.