Here's the final chapter. Thank you to everyone who has sent in reviews either here of via email, they are very much appreciated. Have a very happy Christmas and I'll see you all in the New Year. **hugs** Chapter twelve

Closing her apartment door behind them, Sara ushered him past the kitchen and into the small living room. "I didn't have any time to clean," she told him quickly when she saw his eyes scanning the surrounding room. "I don't usually have company."

"Sara," he smiled, turning to her when he saw her watching him curiously. "I didn't come here to inspect your apartment."

"I know," she blushed, "sorry."

"Will you stop apologizing?" he asked with a smile. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be."

Sara's eyes gazed into his, his very essence flowing serenely in his eyes. Taking a breath, she tried to regain her composure and force down the butterflies that fluttered nervously inside her. This was so stupid. He was here, in her apartment, and he wanted to be with her. So why was she gripped by nervousness? "I'll…um…coffee." Turning away quickly, she took off her jacket and threw it onto one of the stools that stuck out beneath the breakfast bar, and then busied herself with distractions.

Grissom could sense her tension; he felt it too. Unzipping his jacket, he slid it off his shoulders and down his arms before walking towards the stool where Sara had discarded hers. "You know this still leaves us with a problem."

Hearing his voice behind her, Sara jumped slightly and turned around to face him. "I…it does?"

"Yes," he grinned, pulling out the other bar stool to sit on. "I still have to go back to the lab to pick up my Denali."

"Oh," she nodded, realization dawning on her quickly. "Well, if you'd rather not stay I'll understand."

"No," he blurted, then a little more gently, "No. That's not what I meant."

"I…" Sara's voice trailed away when he reached across the bar to take hold of her hands. His thumb began to gently stroke her fingers, reveling in her softness.

"I meant that I would need to go back to the lab to pick up my Denali, not that I wanted to leave." Pulling her closer, he held her eyes as well as her hands across the breakfast bar that separated them. "Will you ever trust me again?"

"I have always trusted you," she whispered, her eyes dropping to their intertwined fingers. "I just don't know if I can ever…"

"What?" he urged, seeking her answers in the hope that they both could banish the hurt to the past.

Sara's eyes lifted to his again. The sorrow in her deep brown orbs shocked him to his very core and he found himself wishing he could turn back the hands of time and heal the wounds he had caused. Seeing the worry in his eyes, she squeezed his fingers in reassurance before gulping back the heavy ache in her heart. "Sometimes I can't remember the last time I felt anything and it scares me." As she spoke, her eyes welled with unshed tears that threatened to spill over onto her cheeks. "Today when we found the baby it's as if something opened up inside me and I can't make it stop. I need to separate him from my life but I can't get his face out of my head." Closing her eyes, she took in a shaky breath before opening them again to see his eyes full of concern. "Sorry, I didn't mean to lay all of this on you."

"No," he told her sadly, shaking his head as he spoke. "We need to be honest with each other if we're ever going to make this work."

"What?" she asked quickly, "I don't understand what you want from me anymore." Pulling her hands from his, she rubbed her palms over her eyes, trying to rid the wetness from her eyes. "I'm confused Grissom."

"I know," he sighed, standing up from the stool to walk around the bench to her side. He saw her sigh in surrender as he reached out to reclaim her hands, to pull her towards him. "I'm trying to change Sara, I'm so used to being on my own it might take me some time to adjust to this."

"This?" she asked softly. "Do we even have a 'this'?"

Clasping her hands tighter in his, he tugged her gently towards him, guiding her over towards the couch to sit them both down. His gaze settled over her body, his eyes drinking in the sheer sight of her before he trusted his own voice. "I want there to be Sara, I just hope I haven't destroyed everything that we had before."

Sara could feel her emotions swirling around inside her as she met his eyes again. He was watching her with a look that could only be described as one of absolute devotion and she suddenly felt the most beautiful woman in the world. Leaning forward, she closed the distance to place a soft kiss on his cheek, her lips lingering just a fraction of a second longer than she should have. She could feel his body trembling under her touch, his nervous ramblings unlocking the love she had always felt for him, allowing it to swamp her with intensity.

"Sara," he whispered hoarsely when he felt her begin to draw away from him. Her touch created a vortex of emotions that started and ended with her. He had denied the power of longing for her for so long that he had forgotten how it felt to need someone so badly. Sitting back, he traced a finger over her hands, making circling patterns as he adored her with his touch. "Can we try?" he asked softly.

"I'd like that," she whispered softly, finding herself encased against his chest once more as he wrapped his arms around her.

They stayed together, drawing what they needed from the other as they bathed together in a wave of pure emotion. No words were spoken; none were needed. They took what they needed from each other without having to do a thing. Love already existed between them, keeping them together for so many years, although neither would have readily admitted it before. Time slipped away as they relaxed into slumber, slipping away into eternity.

A few hours later, Sara slowly opened her eyes as she tried to lull herself away from the beautiful dream that had imprinted itself into her mind. For a few moments she wondered why she was asleep on her couch, and why her pillow was incredibly warm. Her mind wandered back over the events of the past few hours, and sudden awareness slowly started to creep over her senses. Moving her hand, she encountered something warm on her hip, and suddenly realized she was using Grissom's thighs as a pillow.

She froze for a moment, relishing the warmth of his body. She knew by his steady breathing that he was still asleep, and if she wanted to she could move away from his warmth and retreat to the sanctuary of the bathroom, avoiding any uncomfortable moments that might follow. But she didn't want to move.

Grissom drew in a deep breath, followed by slow stretching movements and Sara froze. She felt his hand dance along her side as it snaked behind to her spine, continuing to stroke her back. Taking every ounce of courage she could muster, Sara slowly pushed herself off of him to sit up on the couch. Her body complained with the loss as she slowly turned to face him.

"Hi," he murmured gravelly, his voice heavy with sleep.

Sara stared open mouthed at the beauty of the man beside her. His hair was ruffled and his shirt showing obvious signs of being slept in, but that didn't seem to bother him. "We fell asleep," she whispered, stating the obvious as a rosy blush crept up over her cheeks.

"Yeah," he smiled, pushing himself up to sit beside her. His back creaked in complaint at such an awkward sleeping position, but as he turned to look into her eyes, everything seemed to fade away into the background. "What time is it?"

His question seemed to bring her to her senses and she leant forward to read the green digits on her VCR. "It's 7.35," she gasped, "we slept for over seven hours."

"We did?" he asked in surprise, turning to look at her again as she sat back against the couch. The dip in the cushions gravitated her body closer to his, and he suddenly found himself resting against her shoulder. Her warmth flooded his body with reassurance, creating a cocoon of emotion around them. All nerves had all but gone, leaving him aching to touch her. Slowly, he moved his arm up and around her shoulders, pulling her back into contact with his body, holding her once again.

Sara slipped her hand up his chest, holding him close to her as the final barrier keeping them apart finally started to crack and crumble away. Lifting her head, she smiled up into his eyes, hoping he could see the pure emotions that swam in her brown depths. She needed to convey to him just how much his being here meant to her. This, knowing he was here because he wanted to be with her, was everything.

Lifting up slightly, she reached up to place a soft kiss on his cheek, then another closer to his lips, but not quite touching. Her heart thumped wildly in her chest as she watched him incline his head down towards her. The magnetic charge raced through her body, lifting her into higher realms and he hadn't even kissed her yet.

"Sara," he whispered, his breath tickling her face as he came dangerously closer to her lips. "I want to kiss you."

Swallowing hard, she nodded numbly, her voice failing to respond to his request. The second his lips touched hers, everything faded away, all the hurt, all the pain, everything that had happened over the last year was erased by a single touch of his lips. Increasing the tender pressure, he ran his tongue across her bottom lip, silently begging for entry into her silken depths. When she readily accepted him into her warmth, something inside him opened to leave a fountain of emotions to cascade out of his heart. He loved her, only now could he readily feel it as it washed over him.

Sara was losing herself in his kiss, taking everything he had to offer her. Delving her tongue into his mouth, she kissed him with a passion she had never thought she possessed before. Sliding her hands up his chest and then his shoulders, finally coming to rest behind his neck. Threading her fingers into his hair, she pulled him closer to her, allowing him to feel the love she desperately wanted to share with him.

After a few moments the need to breathe pulled them slowly apart. Their eyes locked, conveying everything they needed to say without the need for words. Reaching out a hand to her face, Grissom cradled her cheek in his hand before leaning forward to kiss her lips gently. "I have to go soon," he whispered reluctantly, her eyes pulling him back to her again as he spoke.

"I know," she whispered, nodding quietly as she focused on his lips. "You should, I mean…work…soon."

"Yeah…" Their lips met again, this time without the gentleness of their first kiss. They molded together, kissing like long time lovers, seeking out the inner feelings that had bound them together for so long. His arms wound around her shoulders, pulling her closer to his body, desperate to feel her heart beating against his own. He only felt alive when he was around her, and now, after today, he knew he had only been going through the motions. To have her in his arms, to feel her love surrounding him had brought his heart alive.

Somewhere in the background he could hear his cell phone, its shrill ringing tone penetrating the passionate haze that surrounded them. Pulling away from her lips, he sat back quickly, his breathing heavy.

"What?" she murmured, her eyes half open as she tried to bring herself back from the edge of heaven that was pulling her close to completion.

Grissom stood up from the couch and reached down to pull her up by her hands. His eyes lingered over hers as he reached for his jacket to retrieve his phone. Sara smiled softly, all embarrassment long forgotten as she ran a hand over his arm before retreating to the kitchen to switch on the kettle.

"Yeah," Grissom barked into his phone, his eyes watching Sara's every movement.

"Okay, I'll pick up Sara and meet you at the lab." Sighing heavily, he rubbed his temple as he thought of a quick answer to Brass's question. "Oh right, yeah my Denali's at the lab. Okay, I'll call a taxi and pick up Sara along the way." Snapping the phone closed, he shoved it back in his pocket, effectively ending the information which Brass was probing for.

"What's wrong?" Sara asked softly as she came out of the kitchen to approach him.

"We've got a decomp," he sighed, reaching out to claim her again as he pulled her into his arms.

"So what's the problem?" she whispered against his chest.

"We walked here."

"Oh," she giggled, "I forgot about that."

"We'll take a taxi to my house and then go onto the lab from there okay?" he suggested.

Sara looked down at herself, her crumpled clothes showing obvious signs of disarray. "I can be out of the shower in five minutes tops," she told him, breaking away from his arms to move towards the bathroom.

"I'll call us a taxi," he grinned, watching her until she had disappeared into the bathroom to close the door behind her. Sighing happily, Grissom pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and punched in a taxicabs number.

Arriving back at the lab, they walked in through the front doors, their shoulders bumping together as they walked. They started to walk past the desk when Judy stopped them. "Sara you have a visitor," she told her, pointing over to the row of seats that lined the wall.

Turning, Sara couldn't hide the obvious gasp that escaped her lips. "Susan."

Grissom turned to see whom she was referring to and stopped in his tracks. Reaching a hand up to Sara's shoulder, he squeezed it gently before offering her a small smile. "I'll be in my office."

"Okay," she nodded, her voice barely a whisper as she watched him walk away from her. Susan stood up from her chair and waited for Sara to approach her before allowing a bright smile to adorn her face. "Hi."

"Susan, is everything okay?" Sara asked quickly, reaching out to grasp her arm. "The baby? What's wrong?"

"Jamie's fine," Susan told her, clasping Sara's hand on her arm. "I wanted to come by and thank you for what you did for both of us." Taking a breath, she steadied her breathing before she trusted her own voice. "I don't know what I'd have done if you hadn't found him…"

"I did find him," Sara said softly, "everything turned out fine and he has you back. Isn't that how it should be?"

"The nurse told me what you had done for my Jamie," Susan said softly as tears welled up in her eyes. "He was crying for you when you left."

"I doubt that," Sara smiled, "but thank you for saying it."

"I want you to know that when we get a place of our own and I can support him, I want you to come and visit us all the time. He's going to go into foster care for a while until I can prove to everyone that I can do this on my own." Looking up into Sara's eyes she smiled sadly. "I asked the hospital if he could stay with you because you loved him for me when I wasn't there. I want him to grow up knowing he has a second mother if anything ever happens to me."

"Me?" Sara asked, her eyes stinging with tears. "I don't know what to say…"

"Just say yes. Tell me that you'll be his godmother, guardian, whatever it is they call it now. I want you to be in his life Sara. I want him to know you." Susan's eyes filled with tears as she saw the emotion welling in Sara's. Holding her hand tighter, she waited for an answer, silently pleading that she would agree.

Sara was fining it difficult to breathe. Her life had been turned upside down and her feelings scattered for all to see, and she was happy. Very, very happy. "Yes," she blurted, her voice catching on a sob as she found herself in the other woman's embrace.

"Thank you," Susan whispered, pulling away to delve into her bag. "I took these at the hospital. I wanted you to have one." Pulling out a small wallet, she opened it to take out a picture and hand it to Sara."

Reaching out to take it, Sara's eyes gazed over the tiny face in the photo and felt her eyes well with tears again. "Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you so much."

"I have to go now," Susan sniffed, pulling Sara into another hug before stepping away. "It's my first meeting with the psychologist tonight."

"What, on Christmas eve?" Sara asked incredulously as the other woman pulled away.

"I want him back," she beamed. "I'll do anything and go anywhere they want me to. He's worth it."

Sara's eyes fell to the photo again and smiled, "Yes he is." Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out one of her cards that had her home and cell number on and handed it over to Susan. "You can reach me any time on these numbers."

Susan took the card from her and smiled. "I'll call you as soon as I know when Jamie leaves the hospital. We're lucky, Detective Brass found a family willing to take both of us in, so we can still be together and I get the help I need."

"That's great Susan," Sara smiled, nodding to the other woman as she started to back away. "Thank you for this," she told her, lifting the photo in her hand.

"No thank you," turning to leave, Susan left through the exit, looking back to smile one last time, and then she was gone.

Grissom looked up as his office door opened and Sara stepped in. Her eyes were red rimmed and she was trying so hard to stay in control of her emotions.

"God Sara," he gasped, standing up to walk around the desk towards her. "What's wrong?"

Stepping closer, Sara allowed his arms to encase her body, holding her close as she tried to regain some kind of control over voice. When she felt his arms loosen around her, she pulled back to look up into his eyes. "She asked me to be his Guardian," she whispered, her voice shaking as she spoke. "She wants me to be in his life."

"Sara…that is…" his voice trailed away when he saw the smile burn her lips, and found himself reaching for her again for another quick hug. Releasing her just as quickly, he looked down at the photo in her hand. "You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah," she smiled, meeting his gaze, "I think I am."

Nodding slowly, he reached out to squeeze her shoulder before leaning forward to place a soft kiss on her lips. "We have a dead body with our name on it."

"Damn Grissom," she grinned, "you sure know how to show a girl a good time."

"Wait till you see my bugs," he told her, his own laughter brimming in his eyes.

"Ooo... dead bodies and bugs? I can hardly wait," she grinned, following him out of the door. In a few hours it was Christmas day, and this year marked a beginning to the end of their loneliness…

End