Author's notes: KakaIru story, for once not a drabble or one-shot, (but god knows you'd have been better off with those). I am very aware that this is a very, very cliched storyline, and it is my intention to have a take on this plot. So please don't flame me about how OOC everyone is, or how stupid this plotline is (okay maybe the former,) because it was intentional. Just my take, okay?

Inspiration taken from many many sources, from a livejournal I chanced upon (D) and pretty fanart and my brain screaming at me in the middle of the night.

Disclaimer: Naruto and the characters do not belong to me, no matter how much I fangirl and all that.

On to the disaster!

Hatake Kakashi did not know when he started, when he'd began classifying his life into 'Before Iruka' and 'After meeting Iruka'. Now he didn't know whether he'd start to classify his onward life as 'After Iruka'.

It hurt too much to even think of the possibility.

He'd been off to a mission, and although dangerous, had promised to come back safe and sound. It had been all frantic kisses, desperate, stolen touches in the dark before he'd left, early in the morning, while Kakashi had still been asleep.

I'll be back before you know it, Iruka had said, smiling reassuringly and squeezing Kakashi's hands, I promise. Take care of Naruto for me while I'm gone, okay?

He'd been gone for more than a week.

Kakashi had been summoned to the Hokage's office early in the morning, when the sunlight was still weak and watery. Tsunade, solemn and almost pitying had told him, told him that Iruka was deemed as dead.

It had been an ambush.

By some miracle Kakashi had managed to look unaffected.

"I'll.. I'll tell Naruto that, then." He'd managed, carefully.

Tsunade had nodded, had looked up and wished to say something more. Words of sympathy, condolences, maybe.

He didn't know. He had not remained long enough to listen.

Well, he should be feeling something else by now, shouldn't he? Iruka had been more than a friend, more than an acquaintance.

Umino Iruka had been his lover.

Kakashi didn't quite feel like he was grieving properly like he should. Instead, his head were full of strange thoughts, like the fact that he should have insisted to accompany the ANBU team they'd sent, or how he was supposed to tell Naruto, or even the fact that he was three hours late to meet his gennins.

I never let my comrades die, he heard himself echo again, nothing but a blatant mockery.

Then he saw Naruto. Naruto was scowling characteristically at his teacher for being late—he did that without fail, and without ever getting tedious of the ritual—and was getting ready to complain about his teacher's lateness.

"Naruto," Kakashi heard himself say, and he hated himself for sounding so normal, "come here a minute."

Naruto looked momentarily puzzled but soon perked up, running towards his teacher, probably feeling smug that he had been singled out. He stopped in front of his teacher and grinned at him.

"Hai, Kakashi-sensei? What is it?" Naruto enthused loudly, stealing a triumphant I-told-you-so peek at Sasuke before continuing, "Have I been chosen to be Hokage? Am I to lead today's mission? Are—"

Kakashi was quite sure he felt his heart break.

"Naruto," he began again, "It's.."

His mouth was too dry, his head too numb. Giving up on trying to say anything at all, Kakashi fell to his knees and gathered Naruto into a fierce embrace.

"Sensei?" Naruto fairly squealed, thinking that something was Very Wrong yet somehow feeling terribly self-conscious of his teammates' curious glances boring into his back.

Kakashi quickly released him and looked straight at his worse (in most aspects) student.

"Iruka's dead."

There. That was it. He'd done what he was supposed to do.

To his surprise Naruto began to laugh, "Sensei, that's a really bad jo—"

He trailed off awkwardly and stared, his jaw slack, his eyes filling with tears. "It's true..?"

"That was what Hokage said."

"Well that's stupid! The old hag wouldn't know anything! Iruka-sensei would go off anywhere and die without telling me, and he promised too, he promi—"

Kakashi searched for something to say, something comforting, something reassuring and came upon dead-end after dead-end.

"I'm sorry," he said simply, a lump forming in his throat, choking him. "I really am."

And he really was.