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Anime/Manga » Inuyasha » Conversation With a Seiyuu
Cassidy J
Author of 10 Stories
Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 12-29-03 - Published: 12-24-03 - Complete - id:1654697

Disclaimer: Don't own Inuyasha, or their seiyuu.

This is a continuation of sorts, of the first part. Thought this might be fun...

[Scene: Conference Room. Inuyasha, Kagome, Sesshoumaru, Jaken, Narita Ken. Inuyasha is sulking in his chair, and Narita Ken is held at swordpoint by Sesshoumaru]

Kagome: You guys need to calm down. I've already sent Shippou for a rosary, Sesshoumaru, so you need to calm down too. Don't give me that look! I've had it with your icy glares. We're not in the anime right now, remember?

Sesshoumaru: ... [unsheathes Toukijin] The threat of a rosary does not intimidate I, Sesshoumaru.

Kagome: Honestly... you can drop the ego trip. Everyone KNOWS you're Sesshoumaru. Lording it over us doesn't do anything but make you look like a too-proud child.

Sesshoumaru: Do you dare call me an infant, wench?

Kagome: Hey! You really are like Inuyasha. Call me by name! Ka – go – me. It's not that hard!

Sesshoumaru: You insult me, wench. And where is your short skirt?

Kagome: I'm not being filmed right now, I can wear whatever I want! And I happen to like jeans when I'm around perverts like Miroku-sama!

Jaken: Pathetic humans, worrying about such things... and wearing such indecent clothing!

Kagome: [annoyed sigh] Really, you guys can stop the Sengoku Jidai act. Jaken, you know your wife wears jeans all the time. I know who makes them for her!

Jaken: Hey! Stay away from my wife, you disgusting—

Narita: Jaken.

Jaken: Hai, Sesshoumaru-sa—STOP DOING THAT!

Sesshoumaru: ...

[Jaken looks momentarily uncertain, then smirks smugly when Sesshoumaru doesn't call his name.]

Jaken: Hah! This Jaken will no longer be fooled by—

Sesshoumaru: Jaken.

Jaken: Your worthless tricks—

Sesshoumaru: Jaken.

Jaken: Because I know when Sesshoumaru-sama is truly speaking to me—

Sesshoumaru: Jaken. [wealth of annoyance in his voice]

Jaken: For he sounds much more confident, much more like the taiyoukai he—

*THUD*

Jaken: [against the table] Please forgive this lowly Jaken, my lord...

Sesshoumaru: You seem enamored of your own voice.

Jaken: Please forgive me, Sesshoumaru-sama.

Sesshoumaru: ...

Narita: Shut up, Jaken.

Jaken: Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama.

Narita: Go throw yourself off a bridge. It's annoying seeing someone as ugly as you every day.

Jaken: Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama. [walks to the door before realizing what's going on] Why you...! [brandishes the Staff of Heads menacingly]

*THUD*

Kagome: Honestly, I'm going to need to tell your wife about how annoying you've been lately.

Inuyasha: Yeah, really. He was starting to get on my nerves.

Kagome: Inuyasha... he did get on your nerves. You're the one that hit him.

Jaken: [voice muffled, as he's plastered against the floor] Please forgive this lowly Jaken, Sesshoumaru-sama... and don't tell my wife. She uses the staff better than I do!

Kagome: [laughter] She's also shorter than you. But at least she's a lot cuter!

*knock, knock*

[Kagome opens the door curiously.]

Kagome: Ah! Shippou-chan! Thank you! [holds a box in her hand]

Shippou: Just like you asked, Kagome! And look! I found a new friend!

Watanabe Kumiko: Hello! I'm Watanabe Kumiko, the seiyuu for Shippou—

Inuyasha and Jaken: [raucous laughter]

Inuyasha: Wha? Go figure the brat has a girl to be his voice!

Kagome: [sweetly] Inuyasha...

Inuyasha: [ears twitch violently] Wh-what's with that face, Kagome?

Kagome: SIT!

*THUD*

Inuyasha: Owww, yoo~oooooooou—

Kumiko: [speaks loudly] Please call me Kumiko!

Kagome: Ah, Kumiko-chan! Here, there's an empty seat by Narita-san.

Narita: It is good to see you again, Watanabe-san.

Kumiko: And you, Narita-san. Shippou, what's wrong?

Shippou: [in tears] It's n-not m-my f-fault y-you're a gi-g-girl!

Kagome: Oh, Shippou-chan, don't you listen to that stupid man...

Inuyasha: HEY!

Kagome: SIT!

*THUD*

Sesshoumaru: Hmph. As foolish as ever, half-breed.

Inuyasha: Ooooh... as soon as this wears off, you're going to regret thaa~aat!

Sesshoumaru: As if a lowly hanyou like yourself could ever touch I, Sesshoumaru!

Kagome: [sweetly] Oh, Sesshoumaru-sama?

Sesshoumaru: What do you want, wench?

Kagome: I have a gift for you—here! [a rosary is quickly slipped over his head before he can react, having been staring at his brother]

Sesshoumaru: ?

Kagome: SIT!

*THUD*

*THUD*

Sesshoumaru: [against the table] I now understand my brother's fear of such a thing...

Kagome: The both of you, play nice!

Sesshoumaru: For so daring to insult I, Sesshoumaru, you will pay! [gets up and unsheathes Toukijin]

Inuyasha: Hey! Don't you lay a hand on Kagome! [unsheathes Tetsusaiga]

[Cue Battle Music]

Kagome: Ah—

Kumiko: [stars sparkle around her] My, Kagome-chan, they are fighting over you!

Kagome: Yes, well, it's not exactly—

Shippou: They're idiots.

Kagome: Well, yes, I do—

Narita: Jaken.

Jaken: Hai, Sessho—why you!

*THUD*

Narita: I was quite for too long.

Kagome: Ah...

Sesshoumaru: Enough with this pointless chatter! Inuyasha, you will become rust on my Toukijin—

Kagome: You said that already.

Sesshoumaru: Did I? Hmm. I mustn't become repetitive. It is not good for the Lord of the Western Lands. Well, then, Inuyasha, wash your neck and wait for me!

Kagome: You know... that means you can't fight right now.

Sesshoumaru: Who's asking you, wench?

Inuyasha: Shut up, Kagome! Just let us fight!

[Cue funny thinking music]

Shippou: I think Inuyasha's brain got squished out of him by all the sits.

Kagome: Yes, but I haven't said 'sit'—

*THUD*

*THUD*

Kagome: All that often, you know.

Sesshoumaru & Inuyasha: Why you...

Jaken: Ah! My lord Sesshoumaru-sama, to be brought down by a filthy human's subduing spell! I shall save—ack! [rosaries are slipped over his head]

Kagome: Narita-san, I give this one to you.

Narita: Jaken.

*THUD*

Kagome: An interesting choice...

Narita: And suitable, don't you think?

Shippou: Hey, how did two come out of that box? I only brought one!

Kumiko: Ah, Shippou, that's what I think is called artistic license.

Shippou: Huh?

Kagome: That means Cassidy-chan is messing with our heads again.

Cassidy Jewell: Enough with that, get back to the conversation at hand!

Kagome, Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru, Jaken, Narita, Shippou, Kumiko: Yes, Cassidy Jewell-sama, oh greatest of writers and most revered person we know who is giving us an extremely lame line to—

*THUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD*

*CRASH*

Inuyasha: [helium-effected voice against the table, a lamp in shards on his head] I think we got her mad.

Sesshoumaru: This was your fault. Inuyasha. Die.

Kagome: SIT!

*THUD*

*THUD*

Narita: Jaken.

*THUD*

Narita: Sounds better with three, I think.

Kagome: I believe so. Hmm, I think I'm hungry.

Kumiko & Shippou: Hey, let's go out for ice cream!

Sesshoumaru & Inuyasha: Why you—huh? Ice cream?

Sesshoumaru: You will bring me back a triple scoop of black cherry.

Inuyasha: No, you idiot! Ramen-flavored!

Kagome: There's no such THING as ramen-flavored, you idiot!

Inuyasha: True. Besides, I hate ramen. I don't see why they had to put that in the anime and manga. Keh, idiots. Get me some chocolate.

Kagome: I'm not your slave!

Inuyasha: Do it, wench!

Jaken: I will bring you back your ice cream, Sesshoumaru-sama! [begins to run out the door]

Narita: Jaken.

*THUD*

Narita: I wish a triple scoot of mint and chocolate chip.

Kagome: Ooh, I want some butterscotch. A double and on a wafer cone!

Shippou: CHOCOLATE!

Inuyasha: I already chose that!

Shippou: So?

Inuyasha: Brat! You can get your own favorite flavor!

Shippou: Kagome, he's picking on me!

Kagome: SIT!

*THUD*

*THUD*

Kagome: Oops, sorry Sesshoumaru. I didn't mean to say it for you to fall, too.

Sesshoumaru & Inuyasha: Make that a quart of ice cream, Jaken...

Kumiko: I'll have vanilla, please.

Jaken: What? Is this Jaken relegated to such lowly duties? Sesshoumaru-sama, you must not mean for me to—

Narita: Jaken.

*THUD*

Jaken: Why you...!

Sesshoumaru: Jaken. Get the ice cream. NOW.

Jaken: H-Hai, Sesshoumaru-~ [voice fades as he's kicked out of the room]

Sesshoumaru: [turns to Narita] Now, about my voice... Deeper! More commanding! Throw back your shoulders and sit up straight!

Narita: Kagome, say it.

Kagome: SIT!

*THUD*

*THUD*

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