Men In Tights

A special thanks to Howling WereWolf for sending me the original song via messenger. *chortle* I'm still laughing.

Notes: "xxx" is talking, "xxx" is singing

Scene: Empty Assembly Ground

Apocalypse: Stand at attention!

XMenEvo Males: YES SIR!

Apocalypse: Make no doubt about this, gentlemen! We are going to sing our New Improved International Anthem!

XMenEvo Males: YES SIR!

Apocalypse: MUSIC!

*Music Starts*

Angel: We're MEN! We're MEN in TIGHTS!

Avalanche [1]: We run around Bayville looking for FIGHTS!

Cyclops: Hey! Not all of us!

Apocalypse: BE QUIET UNTIL YOUR TURN, OR BE FRIED NOW!

Cyclops: (Meep!) YES SIR!

Beast: We're MEN! We're MEN in TIGHTS!

Berzerker: We beat up the bad and kiss up the good, that's RIGHT!

Cannonball: We may look like sissies, but watch what you say, or else we'll put out your LIGHTS!

Colossus: We're MEN! We're MEN in TIGHTS!

Cyclops: Always on guard, defending our mutant RIGHTS!

Apocalypse: CAN-CAN!

*Can-Can starts*

XMenEvo Males: *one messy heap on the floor*

*Can-Can stops*

Apocalypse: BACK TO THE SONG!

XMenEvo Males: *repositioned at lightning speed*

Gambit: We're MEN! (MANLY MEN!) We're MEN in TIGHTS!

Havok: We run around Bayville looking for FIGHTS!

Iceman: We're MEN! We're MEN in TIGHTS!

Multiple: We beat up the bad and kiss up the good, that's RIGHT!

Nightcrawler: We may look like pansies, but don't get us wrong, or else we'll put out your LIGHTS!

Sunspot: We're MEN! We're MEN in TIGHTS!

Wolverine: I refuse to do this.

BAZAM!

XMenEvo Males [exclude Wolverine]: Farewell, Logan. We knew you well.

Apocalypse: ALL TOGETHER!

XMenEvo Males [exclude Wolverine]: ALWAYS ON GUARD DEFENDING OUR MUTANT RIGHTS!

Apocalypse: AND NOW, THE LAST LINE!

XMenEvo Males [exclude Wolverine]: When there's a problem to fix, call upon the MEN IN TIGHTS!

Apocalypse: END MUSIC!

*Music stops*

Apocalypse: For such a job well done, the rest of you can live... For now.

[1] - Lance once wore the X-Men uniform in "Joyrides". Therefore, he is qualified as a Man in Tights.

~ Pelz-Junge