Review Responses:

Net Strife: Yes, the concept of Jenna/Kraden is supposed to be disturbing. Very disturbing. And no, fear not, this "relationship" (I'm shuddering to even mention it...) will go no farther than Kraden being annoying and Jenna frying him. Repeatedly.

Ookami MX: The shitzoff has arrived!!

Depressing Angel: Totally insane? Of course.

Knightblazer 88: What was I on, indeed? Hmm... Maybe just a fond dislike for Kraden. After all, anyone who's played CT knows about a certain... scene... with a certain... Lavos... BWAHAHA!

DarkHunter65: ...I don't even know where to start, here. Firstly, regarding Valeshipping, I can't see it working. Jenna seems a much more obvious partner to Garet than Isaac to me. Secondly, you have poor taste in naming. I believe Isaac Says Booga has the official shiplists for Golden Sun. If you want one for Jenna/Kraden (shudder), why not ask him?

Rednal29: Kraden is evil. Verrrry evil. That's why we're going to see how well he can handle monsters from the front lines instead of cowering in the background like he did in TLA.

LadyLucca: The first thought that crossed my mind after I came up with the idea for a CT/GS fic was, "Oohh... hungry... not good." Okay, I hadn't eaten in awhile. But after that, I wondered if anyone had already come up with this idea. I thought I vaguely remembered seeing something along these lines, but I searched the GS section and saw nothing related to CT, so I went ahead with it.

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Scene: Kraden's House, 1000AD

??: Kraden.

no answer

??: Kraden!!

no answer

??: Kraden, wake up!!

no answer

??: aside Isn't he supposed to wake up at this point?

Omniflyer: Yeah. Go inside and see if you can wake him up.

?? enters the room. Kraden is not asleep, but rather engrossed in several experiments he is performing at once

??: KRADEN!! casts Spark Plasma across the room, shattering bottles and sizzling Kraden

Kraden: OW! Who...? Master Hama? You're playing my mother?!

Hama: nods Correct.

Kraden: But you're only two-thirds my age!

Hama: anger vein I am barely a third your age!! casts Tempest

Kraden: hurt

Hama: Now get downstairs, and feed the cat!

Kraden: I have important exper...

Hama: scary FEED THE CAT!

Kraden: tumbling down stairs as fast as his feet will allow

Scene: Downstairs, 1000AD

Kraden: landing painfully at the bottom of the stairs

Hama: -- And you're supposed to play the nimble, athletic male lead?

Kraden: What do you mean "supposed to"?! I AM nimble and athletic!

Everyone: offstage stifling laughter

Kraden: musing I get no respect around here...

Cat: meows

Kraden: Hmm... the cat looks kind of small... eyes light up I wonder what would happen if I tweak around his food a little. Maybe add a few elemental properties to this part, and before you know it...

Hama: Casts Plasma Just feed the stupid thing and get out of here!!

Kraden: hair smoking ...of course, I could just leave it... feeds the cat

Hama: Good. Now go to the Millennial Fair and enjoy yourself.

Kraden: I'd much rather go back upsta...

Hama: You obviously didn't hear me... Scary, again GO TO THE FAIR.

Kraden: Well, as I was saying, I have important things that must be done at the fair today. I'll see you later! starts to leave

Hama: One more thing. Kraden pauses Take some money with you.

Kraden: takes the coins What an odd shape! This is money? How strange! You know, this reminds me of the time I was in Madra, and they have a slightly different coin shape, too, you see. As it turns out, they didn't...

Scene: Same Location, Two Hours Later, 1000 AD

Kraden: ...but as we were saying, the rabbits in the field were certainly not blue enough to be considered anything along the lines of cabbage. Which reminds me...

Hama: looking very frazzled and close to derangement No... more... Just leave and never speak to me again.

Kraden: But I have...

Hama: casts Shine Plasma

Kraden: stumbling away

Scene: Leene Square, 1000 AD

Kraden: looking around This is absolutely marvellous!

Omniflyer: offstage What, you're actually going to enjoy yourself at something that isn't related to toadstools and randomly sprouting vines?

Kraden: No! Everything here can be used in my experiments. The shrubbery, the garbage... even the gas in the balloons there! ...I think...

Omniflyer: offstage Just get on with it, all right? No one wants to waste time reading about you collecting some little fungus or rock for your experiments.

Kraden: agitated What are you talking about? I, foolish boy, am Kraden. Everyone enjoys reading about me!

Omniflyer: offstage, looking toward the general public Hands up, everyone who likes reading about Kraden performing some experiment.

Everyone: no movement

Kraden: angry How dare you, whippersnapper! I'm at least four times most of your ages, you would think you could show a little kindness to me, but no, it's all about shunning your elders to go off and do whatever you want... starts walking around, randomly screaming at anyone and everyone, flailing his arms about ...it's truly pathetic the way the elderly are treated here and... in the middle of his tirade, he knocks a girl over and falls to the ground himself ...oh, and look at that, now I'm even being attacked for my age!

Jenna: fuming on the ground, pulling herself up Kraden, you idiot, look what you've done now!

Kraden: Jenna?

Jenna: seething Yes, it's me, and you just bowled me over for no reason just because you're an old geezer that no one likes, anyway.

Kraden: confused Jenna, your...

Jenna: shrieks My pendant! It's gone!

Kraden: Jenna, what happened to your...

Jenna: impatiently Yes, yes, I know, I have a new costume, apparently it's what Marle is supposed to wear. she spins a little to show off. Garet whistles from offstage But that's not important right now! My pendant is gone!!

Kraden: That's not what I was talking about. Your...

Jenna: Oh, here it is! picks up a tiny blue pendant and places it around her neck I don't know how, but even though it's blue, I think it looks good on me.

Kraden: There's a reason...

Jenna: Huh? What's that?

Kraden: Well, I've been trying to tell you... here, just look. fumbles through his pockets and produces a small mirror. Jenna looks into it

Jenna: screaming I have orange hair?! Who did this to my beautiful auburn hair?!

Omniflyer: offstage, slowly walking away

Jenna: Omniflyer!!

Omniflyer: offstage ;; uhh... yes...?

Jenna: What happened to my hair?!

Omniflyer: offstage, carefully Well... you see, if you're going to play Marle, you may as well go all the way, right?

Jenna: in full-blown pyromaniac mode There are limits!!

Omniflyer: offstage Not really...

Jenna: Then why isn't Kraden's hair all red and spiky.

Omniflyer: offstage ...do you want to see him in spiky red hair?

Jenna: ignoring Omniflyer Die, evil author! casts Pyroclasm, but nothing happens. A blue light envelops Omniflyer What was that?!

Omniflyer: offstage Well, as you're not technically a Mars Adept anymore, but rather a Water-aligned spellcaster, you can't cast Fire spells any more. What you did cast was the only spell you know right now, Aura, which is a non-elemental healing spell.

Jenna: enraged You took away my burning for healing?!

Omniflyer: offstage In not so many words, yes.

Jenna: slowly When this is over... you will die.

Omniflyer: offstage ...hmm... I'll keep that in mind. starts packing So, why don't you just continue, okay?

Jenna: I cannot believe this...

Kraden: You know, in the plot line, you and I are supposed to...

Jenna: If you come within three meters of me, I swear I will rip out you intestines and use them to strangle Omniflyer.

Kraden: Oh, you're just saying that... tries to draw near

Jenna: draws her weapon Hey, I don't have a staff! What could I possibly... looks at the crossbow in her hand oh. smiles evilly Now THIS could be fun...

Kraden: I don't like fun...

Scene: Western Part of the Square, 1000 AD

Kraden: So what are we supposed to do now?

Jenna: I don't know. I think we're supposed to be having fun. sighs How pathetic...

Kraden: There are so many other things I could be doing that would be so much more beneficial. I have far too many experiments to worry about this right now.

Jenna: You could always leave and Garet could take your place.

Kraden: eyes light up Brilliant idea! moves to leave but can't seem to move away Why can't I move? This is horrible! My mobility rights are being violated!

Jenna: growling In a few minutes I'm going to remove your mobility rights.

Kraden: How?

Jenna: frustrated I'll remove your legs.

Kraden: That wouldn't hinder my rights. In fact, that would aid them, as being handicapped would result in a special level of treatment that would be bestowed upon me and-

Jenna: looking very, VERY dangerous

Kraden: -ah. Of course, you're right.

Omniflyer: offstage I don't think Marle has that much power over Kraden. Loosen up a bit, Jenna.

Garet: offstage You want Jenna to loosen her control over people just by asking? And you expect she will?

Omniflyer: offstage ...true.

Jenna: looking vicious

Garet: offstage You know, you might want to find an outlet for her rage soon.

Omniflyer: offstage Good idea. Kraden, you're near a battle simulator robot. Take Jenna there and let her channel that rage before she kills us all.

Kraden: Jenna can't handle a battle simulator robot all by herself.

Omniflyer: offstage That's why you're supposed to help her. Do you see the wooden sword in the sheath at your waist?

Kraden: nervous Oh... of course. This should be no challenge at all for one so strong as myself. But... maybe she'd like to try herself, first.

Omniflyer: offstage Of course.

Scene: Robot Battle Simulator Booth, 1000AD

Jenna: almost zombie-like Kill, kill, kill, kill, die, die, die, die...

Kraden: You're a braver man than I thought, Garet.

Garet: offstage nods

Jenna: approaches the Battle Simulator, Gato Kill, kill, kill, kill, die, die, die, die...

Gato: singing and dancing, preparing to fight

Jenna: DIE. raises crossbow and fires

Gato: moves menacingly towards Jenna as the bolts bounce harmlessly off his metal torso

Omniflyer: offstage Uh-oh... that's a predicament.

Jenna: throws the crossbow to the ground stomping Stupid, useless, pathetic...

Garet: offstage I think she's calling you, Kraden.

Kraden: indignantly How dare you, you little whippersnapper!

Omniflyer: offstage Is that the best insult you know, Kraden? Whippersnapper?

Garet: offstage, confused I've never snapped a whipper in my life...

Jenna: enraged Die, stupid piece of tin! Pyroclasm! a blue Aura spell overtakes Gato, healing any minor dents from previous battles

Kraden: amused That didn't seem to work that well...

Jenna: scary Shut... up.

Kraden: cowering ...why does no one like me...?

Jenna: Listing time!

Omniflyer: offstage Let's see... you're annoying...

Garet: offstage ...bothersome...

Jenna: ...troublesome...

Omniflyer: offstage ...don't do much in the games but beg people to chase after lycanthropes...

Garet: offstage ...get in the way...

Scene: Robot Battle Simulator Booth, A Few Hours Later, 1000AD

Jenna: ...use four times as many words as a normal person to say about a third as much...

Kraden: Yes, yes, but aside from all that.

Omniflyer, Garet, Jenna: facefault

Omniflyer: offstage Just hurry up and kill the stupid robot... he's still rampaging, you know.

Jenna: suddenly vicious again Killing!!

Garet: offstage, nervous How does she change moods so fast?

Kraden: She's your girlfriend...

Felix: offstage, grumbling

Jenna: Ok, no Aura this time, just a genuine fire attack. Like... Dragon Fume! Jenna spins around with her back to Gato and slaps her butt a few times

Kraden: What are you...?

Garet: offstage, drooling

Felix: offstage Jenna!!

Jenna: blinks Huh? What...?

Felix: offstage, has Omniflyer in a stranglehold What was that?!

Omniflyer: offstage, being strangled That was... Marle's...second tech... Provoke... gasping for air

Felix: offstage So you can turn my sister into some kind of...of...

Garet: offstage, whistling

Felix: offstage, goes chasing after Garet

Omniflyer: offstage, massaging neck Can you get on with the fight now?

Jenna: gets hit by Gato's swinging fist and falls heavily to the floor, unconscious

Gato: turns on Kraden

Kraden: Ah. Yes. Good morning, sir. I wonder if I could interest you in aiding me with an experim-ACK!

Gato: swinging fist at Kraden, but misses and leaves a small crater in the ground

Omniflyer: offstage Why do I get the impression this fic will be over before it really starts...?

Kraden: Now what am I supposed to do?

Omniflyer: offstage Attack the stupid thing!

Kraden: Ah, of course. draws the Wood Sword Hee-ya!! the Wood Sword snaps against Gato's arm

Omniflyer: offstage o.0

Kraden: This is exactly why I like my experiments better...

Gato: moving menacingly toward Kraden

Kraden: nervous Omniflyer, how about you cliffhang here so I don't have to do anything until your next update...?

Omniflyer: offstage Cliffhangers only work if people care about the characters. It's just you, a cliff wouldn't work.

Kraden: outraged What do you mean, it's just me? When I was your age, I had to journey across bold new lands, going on amazing adventures that you and the rest of the party over never dreamed of! Of course, when I went...

Scene: Robot Battle Simulator Booth, A Few More Hours Later, 1000AD

Kraden: ...that's why Mars isn't associated with earth adepts. Now, as for Jupiter...

Gato: collapses

Kraden: ...huh?

Omniflyer: offstage Wow. Congratulations, Kraden, I think you bored it to death.

Kraden: You can't bore a machine to death.

Omniflyer: offstage I beg to differ.

Jenna: stirring That was severely unpleasant. What happened?

Kraden: throws chest out, then pulls it back in as he nearly throws his back out to do so I defeated it.

Jenna: ... laughing No, seriously, what happened?

Omniflyer: offstage He's telling the truth... he took it out.

Jenna: Impossible. Who built the stupid thing, anyway?

Omniflyer: offstage Gato was built by Mia.

Jenna: That explains it. If a Mercury Adept made it, it must be defective.

Kraden: Actually, Mercury Adepts have proven to be far more mechanically inclined than Mars Adepts. Look at the difference between Lemurian Ships and Proxian transportation, or Jenna glares at him I'm sorry.

Jenna: Okay, I'm going to go and kill Mia.

Kraden: Before you go, don't you owe me something for saving your life from that evil robot?

Jenna: takes a step back Like...?

Kraden: Well, you know, our characters are supposed to fall in love, so maybe a little ki-

Jenna: shrieking Absolutely not! If you even try it I will rip off your lips and throw them in one of your own experiments!

Kraden: thoughtful Actually, human lips in the Lemurian Draught experiment might prove to be...

Jenna: storming off to find Mia I give up!!

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This is the part where I start begging all of you to press that little review button.

(Dew): And where we should show up.

(Char): Of course, we should have been up at the top.

Nah. Would've made the fic more cluttered. You guys aren't really needed here.

(Dew/Char): ...what did you say?!

Umm... Review! And I'll post again if I live...