AN: These drabbles are written for the Calleigh and Catherine livejournal community.

Title: Can´t stop thinking
Author: Nepeace
Pairing: Calleigh/Cath, implied Sara/Catherine and a little bit of Eddie and Catherine
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: No I don´t own them
Spoilers: Cross Jurisdictions, Play with Fire, Lady Heather´s box
Word Count: 361
Author's Notes: Catherine´s thoughts on a dark and lonely night - Calleigh and Catherine, this is a first time for me ...

Can´t stop thinking

I´m drunk and I know it. I feel alone, desperately alone.

I stare at the picture in my hands, the picture Speed took from me and her, the picture that I´ve cherished all this time. The picture that she gave me right before I stepped inside the helicopter. I knew that it wouldn´t last, I knew that I had to go back to Vegas with Warrick, but still ...

Sometimes I wish that I would have come back to Vegas to gather my belongings and move to Miami with Lindsey. Would that make things easier I don´t know. Maybe I wouldn´t have caused so much pain to some people.

I would have taken Lindsey away from Eddie and she wouldn´t have been there when he got killed. I wouldn´t have blown up the lab and almost kill Greg and Sara. A tear rolls down my cheek. Sara ...

I take another sip from the wine. "No, I have to stop thinking about Sara ..., she doesn´t want me."

She likes guys, bastards like Hank, who cheat on her the same way Eddie did with me. At least the outcome fom that relationship made a lot of things right. Lindsey she´s the best daughter I could ever imagine.

My mind wanders off again to the trip that I made two years ago, Warrick and I went to Miami to solve a murder, and to find a little girl. All I found was warmth and understanding by the person that I least expected. I first saw her that day that we arrived.

She was standing their in front of me, her long blond hair slowly moving by the slight breece, wearing sunglasses that covered her beautiful eyes. I imidiatelly noticed her beauty. And apperantly she noticed me just as much as I noticed her.

I can still remember eery single detail of her naked skin under my hands that night and the following nights. I can still hear her call out my name in ecstasy.

But I lost it, I lost her ... I put my bet on Sara and she, she doesn´t want me.

I made the wrong bet.