Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own Harry Potter or any related characters in any way, shape or you recognize belongs to else was taken out of my twisted little brain.

(A/N): I wanted to do a relatively light fic, but I can't promise it'll stay that review with any ideas/advice for the direction of the plot.I hope you all enjoy!

MISTER CELLOPHANE CHAPTER 1 ~*~

He was in deep shit; there was simply no other way to put it.

Cursing colorfully under his breath, Severus Snape sighed and raked a withering hand through his hair.

What was he going to do? Merlin, he had no idea if there was anything he could do.

Stopping his maddening pacing, Severus briskly went to gaze into his mirror for the umpteenth time, being met with the same thing he had seen before.

Nothing, absolutely nothing; he had no reflection.

Muttering another explicit curse, Severus snapped back into his pacing.

It was his own bloody fault, he knew. He, of all people, should have known the unpredictability of testing experimental potions on a person, especially on oneself.

But he had been weary and tired of the potion that had drained his resources day after day and had wanted it to be over and done with. So Severus, for the first time in a very long while, threw caution into the wind and gulped down the potion he was almost positive was correct.

But he had been wrong, no matter how much he had convinced himself he never was, and it seemed that while in the long, tiring process of trying to create a potion to help resist the Imperius curse, he had accidentally stumbled upon a variation of an invisibility potion. Which would be a great accomplishment in and of itself if it wasn't for one small, tiny detail- he had absolutely no clue how to reverse it.

Which brought about the question he had been feverishly asking himself over and over again for the past forty-five minutes: what was he going to do?

"Sweet Merlin, how could I have been so dense," he growled angrily to himself, "It was a stupid mistake worthy of that dunce Longbottom."

Pinching the bridge of his large nose, Severus forced himself to stop pacing and to bring his raging thoughts to an eerily calm order.

Dumbledore; the name shown out in his dark, furious mind like a lighthouse beacon of light shining out into a raging storm.

That old fool knows everything; he'll fix it, he mentally assured himself as he strode over to his fireplace with a new purpose.

Lifting up his wand, which appeared to be floating on its own accord, he lit the fire and tossed in a liberate handful of floo powder, watching in satisfaction as the merrily crackling fire turned into a vibrant, Slytherin green color.

Stepping into the flames he spoke clearly, if somewhat more nervously than usual, "Headmaster's office!"

In a swirl of colors, Severus found himself stepping gracefully out of the fireplace and into Albus Dumbledore's office, muttering even more obscenities under his breath as he dusted off the ashes from his invisible self.

"Why, Severus, what a pleasure it is to see you," Albus's eyes twinkled as he smiled over in his general direction.

"Albus, I am in no mood for your particular brand of humor," Severus grouched, shooting the Headmaster his patented glare of death, even though he logically knew the older wizard could not see it.

Like it would make a difference even if he could, he silently miffed to himself.

"What exactly seems to have you so distressed, my dear boy?" inquired Albus innocently enough.

Pushing down the growl that wanted to surface, Severus remarked dryly, "Well, I should think it to be obvious- I'm invisible."

"Why yes, Severus, I can see that for myself," he said quite cheerfully, "But I fail to realize what the problem is."

Severus groaned, hating to be forced into admitting he didn't know something. "I'm invisible and I don't know how to turn back," he elaborated.

Albus tilted his head to the side thoughtfully. "My, that is a pickle. I presume this is a result of sampling a prototype of your Imperius resistance potion?"

Severus narrowed his eyes. "Yes," he ground out.

"I see it has a few unexpected side effects," Albus keenly observed.

"Honestly, Albus, must you insist on being difficult? My day is wearisome enough without your impudence," Severus proclaimed, dangerously close to whining.

"It's not impudence, dear boy, it's called having a sense of humor," Albus retorted wisely.

"Yes, yes," Severus waved off his statement, repeating desperately, "But what am I going to do, Albus?"

"Why, I should think it to be obvious," Albus smirked as he echoed Severus's words from before.

Severus sneered viciously, only stopping in surprise when Albus chuckled good-naturedly and said, "You shouldn't sneer so much, Severus; it gives you wrinkles."

Bemusedly, Severus plopped into a cushy arm chair in front of the Headmaster's desk in an uncharacteristic lack of grace and sighed, "Albus, I'd appreciate it very much so if you would just state your point."

Taking pity on the younger wizard, Albus dimmed his megawatt smile and said gently, "You must research and find the counter-potion, Severus."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Don't you think I've already thought of that? It's not that simple Albus, and you know it. Even if I do research to find the counter-potion, there's still no guarantee that there is one. It could take months, even years! And what about my classes, Albus? How will you find a Potions Master to fill in on such short notice? And I'm not even going to mention the fact that I could be summoned at any moment," he proclaimed, stressing the word 'summoned'.

Albus just continued to smile in that annoyingly, calm manner. "Perhaps, you should hear me out before you condemn me as a fool, old man. Professor Maul, the Muggle Studies director, minored in Potions at Salem University, and since she only has two classes a week, she should be capable of taking over your classes for the time being. As to you being summoned, I feel that if we spread the word that you have left on a highly secret mission for me for the duration of two months, Riddle will feel compelled to at least wait until it is known that you are back before he receives you. He will not risk summoning you while you're out working for me. And as to the fact that researching your new potion would take quite some time on your own, I fear there is only one plausible solution," he trailed off.

Severus frowned. "And what, may I ask, would that be?"

"Do not do it by yourself; take on a lab partner," Albus said quite simply.

"Out of the question," Severus pronounced.

"Really, Severus, do not be unreasonable. I know you are a man used to his own space, but really, under the circumstances, I fear sacrifices must be made," Albus attempted to soothe him as best as he could.

"Even if, and this, Albus, is a very big 'if'," he stressed, "Even if I decided to take on a lab partner, just who do you propose? Professor Maul will be too busy with my classes as well as hers, and there is no one else that I'm aware of that has the type of knowledge and mind that is required for this type of research."

Albus turned his smile up a few notches, "Why Severus, am I mistaken when saying that Hermione Granger is at the top of your class and would be quite capable of assisting you in this project, seeing as she is quite familiar with the Hogwarts restricted section?"

Severus stared at him, sitting rigidly still as he hissed, "I won't do it."

Albus only chuckled, saying, "My dear boy, it is not as if you actually have a choice in the matter. I'm afraid she is the only one suitable for your purposes, and she is quite capable of keeping a secret."

"That is not the point, Albus, and you know it. The girl is an absolute nuisance, and even if I did allow her to assist me, there is no guarantee that she would. The girl positively loathes me, and I say, the feeling is entirely mutual," he said quite smugly, clearly thinking that he had proved his point.

The smug smile that Albus imagined Severus to be wearing to match his haughty voice made him chuckle, saying amusedly, "My dear man, Hermione Granger is a Gryffindor. If I ask her to perform this as some sort of independent study project, and to remain silent about it, she'll feel honor bound to oblige."

Severus shot the older wizard a calculating glance as he noted, "That's quite Slytherin of you, Albus. Are you sure you were sorted into the correct house?"

Albus chuckled good-naturedly. "Well, I don't know Severus, it has been some years since my sorting, but I rather think it is just you rubbing off on me. Either way, you must admit that the idea does hold some merit."

Albus grinned when he heard Severus mumble something incomprehensibly. "What was that, dear boy? I'm afraid you'll have to speak up, my hearing isn't what it used to be, you know."

"Damn it all, Albus! I said that your little Gryffindor princess may assist me!" Severus exploded, shooting out of the comfy arm chair in anger and annoyance.

"Splendid! I shall speak to Miss Granger tomorrow. Have a pleasant evening, my child; and do please take a lemon drop," Albus said, gesturing with a wave to the candy dish on his desk and looking quite happy with himself as he whistled a jaunty tune.

Severus gave him one last glare for good measure and pointedly did not pick up one of the proffered candies before he made to exit the office via fireplace.

It could be worse, he attempted to console himself as his invisible form stalked towards the fireplace. At least he wasn't stuck with that dunce Longbottom.