The Valentines Day Joke.
It was a sunny day in Colorado Springs and the ever so infatuated Colonel
awoke with a start, it had been the third night in a row he had the same
dream about himself and his 2IC. He turned to look at his clock.*crap* he
thought, he was an hour late from work, he jumped out of bed, and raced to
find his uniform, scattering his shirts, trousers, socks and other
intimidating clothing over his floor, eventually he found his uniform
neatly folded on his chest of drawers *Why do I never looks there* he
thought to himself. He forced his pyjamas off and rushed to put on his
uniform, he went past his kitchen, picked up a banana, his mobile and
headed for the door, slammed it open, picked up his keys from the side, ran
through the door to his car.then having to run back to close his door,
finally got into his car and started off to work.
He drove along, somewhat disobeying the speed limit whilst the radio rather
ironically played "Samantha" by Madness. He quickly changed the station as
soon as the Chorus came on. "Well today's the 14th of February which spells
Valentines Day! Now here's a song for all you have someone to love.and I
hope you enjoy the romance of today." the radio started to play "My heart
will go on" by Celine Dion. *Oh for cryin' out loud* Jack thought, he
decided to turn off the radio altogether. *Great.Valentine's Day.the girls
on base are gunna have a field day.* he pulled up to the gate of Cheyenne
Mountain, showed the airman his ID, and drove into the car park, swiftly
got out of his car, rushed through the ID checks and ran to the elevator.he
only just got on after a while he wished he didn't, there in the elevator
with him, was a bunch of giggly girls debating who had the better
boyfriend/fiancée/husband. As soon as the elevator stopped at level 16 he
quickly left and ran to the second elevator, which carries down to Level
28. Fortunately the girls didn't arrive in time to catch it on its way down
so Jack was alone...
Level 23, the elevator stopped and Dr. Janet Fraiser came into the
"Hey Doc.how are you?" he asked.trying to hide the fact he'd just came in.
He looked at her and saw she was frustrated, *uh oh* he thought, *what have
I done now? * She forced a smile on her face.
"I'm fine Colonel, but I presume you are aware that you didn't turn up for
your check up yesterday." She tilted her head to the side.*jesh for a small
woman she can intimidate easily*
"Sorry Doc I forgot." he shrugged his shoulders and tried to look
innocent.what he really did was doze whilst writing his report from his
"Colonel.I'm one step ahead of you this time.I've already spoken to Dr.
Jackson, Sam, Teal'c and General Hammond so you can't say you were with
them." The elevator stopped at level 28
"Love to stay and chat doc.but this is my stop.catch you later."
"If I don't see you before 1600 you're gunna catch more than just me." She
shouted after him. As soon as he was out of sight she shock her head and
walked out of the elevator after him.
"Where is Colonel O'Neill." General Hammond asked Jack's team. they sat,
looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders.apart from Teal'c who did
the usual routine of raising his eyebrows.
"I do not know GeneralHammond.Perhaps his journey here was delayed by an
accident of some kind."
"Hey kids sorry I'm late.my alarm clock didn't go off and I slept in." he
stood behind his chair. "General."
"That's the third time this week, I'm gunna have to send someone over to
your house to wake you up, you delayed your own mission yesterday as well
"Sorry Sir.It won't happen again.but does someone seriously have to stay at
"Just for tonight Jack, we're having a visit from the Tok'ra and the Tollan
tomorrow and you need to be here bright and early, wide awake and dressed
in an appropriate manner." His 2IC, the archaeologist and started
giggling.Jack looked at himself.his t-shirt was on inside out, not tucked
in and his trousers were on the wrong way round.
"Sorry Sir" he said in embarrassment.
"Colonel go get yourself properly dressed.this briefings rescheduled for
1300, dismissed." At that he looked towards the stairs and Fraiser walked
in, and walked towards the General's office.
"Maybe I should check you out sooner than I thought." She spoke through
giggles. "1400 Colonel.or else." She walked into the General's office and
the door was shut behind her. Jack quickly replaced his jacket, smiled at
his team and ran out to the locker room. Sam and Daniel started to laugh;
they had never seen him so embarrassed, they looked at Teal'c who sat
silently; he pushed out his chair, stood up and followed the others out of
the briefing room.
"Maybe we should visit him outside the locker room" suggested Sam, still
smiling at the fact that the Colonel's trousers where back to front and
showing his underwear.
"That would be unwise MajorCarter.I believe O'Neill is humiliated and
wishes not to discuss this matter."
"C'mon Teal'c it'll be fun.anyway, he'll forgive us." Daniel said, looking
at the locker room door, plainly seeing that the occupant has locked the
door. Sam and Daniel sneaked to the door followed by the Jaffa, and
silently waited until they heard the lock click.the Colonel opened the door
and the sight of his team standing at the door gave him a fright. They
humans laughed and Teal'c smiled.
"You were right DanielJackson.this is an amusing experience." Looking at
Jack the whole time.
"Yeh very funny." he said sarcastically then turned to look at Sam and
Daniel who were still laughing "Don't you two have anything better to do"
he pushed passed Daniel and marched off to his office.
The three walked to the elevator still talking about the Colonel.
"Hey Daniel.It's Valentines Day isn't it.I've just thought of a brilliant
practical joke." They walked into the elevator and Sam told them her plan.