By Old Grasper Incorporated

There once was a hero named Link,

Whose antics got him thrown in the clink,

He has a shite fairy,

Who thinks monsters are scary,

But when Link sees them he doesn't blink!

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There once was a Sheikah named Sheik,

He's a cool dood and isn't a freak,

Pulls a harp out his ass,

Girls flock to him en mass,

How can he be Zelda: she's meek!

*

There once was a weirdo names Tingle

It's really no wonder he's single,

He'll give you a map,

If you say he's not crap,

And also a tube full of Pringle...s