Summary: Spike stays the night at the Hyperion to get ready to go do the job for Angel. Angel has sold the Hyperion to Gwen. You know what happens when Spike is unsupervised and he is missing Buffy. He gets drunk. We also learn what Faith his been doing with her time.

Rating: This is rated R, probably my most naughty chapter. Not appropriate for Kids.

RE-Edited, Yay! This was over a year ago, and I think I’ve really grown as a writer, but you don’t want to hear about that.

"Classy joint...a bit lavish for my taste...Just like Ye ol' Sire, though." Spike smirked as his short companion followed. She seemed to be trotting as he just walked. The sun was set enough that they could just walk right through the front door with out him bursting into flames. Spike was sure that if he had burst into flames this girl would have thrown herself on him.

"So, it was Angelus that sired you and not Drusilla?" Talia gasped. "But...why? Why would he do it? Did he want male camaraderie and then you fell in love with Drusilla and it became more like competition?"

"Dru was bored of Angelus by the time I came along" Spike grumbled.

"So, he sired you FOR her...like a new doll, only alive, or not alive but..."

"I was for her...then. HE had nothing to do with that," Spike said lowly. Before she could open her trap again Spike rang the bell at the front desk. When no one came he started tapping it to the beat of "Iron Man." It kept the girl quiet. Why "Iron Man?" Faith, she LOVED the good classic punk, but her taste spilled out all over the place to that classic Heavy Metal and new wave, "old school" Hip-Hop to the newest stuff that had all different names like Hardcore, Skate-Punk, and Rap. Faith seemed like she was all over the place, but Spike realized she liked any music that was brassed off. She would like the Grass-Roots concert Wood was taking her to. Grass Roots can be brassed off music: "I lost all my family in the dust-bowl" and whatnot.

As he was thinking about all things brassed-off, a girl came out who was just that. She was long and lean- not counting the huge breasts. She was dressed like a one thousand dollar whore. Her lipstick matched the streaks in her hair- cherry red. Spike hadn't expected Angel to know so many women with freak colored hair. But Peaches that dog, he knew how to get every type of woman around for his eye-candy.

"You must be Spike," She said thickly, as she took the bell he had been ringing and threw it across the room.

"Well, that wasn't very professional. The boss-man won't be pleased, Love" Spike smirked.

"I am the boss-man, LOVE" She glowered. She wore gloves. Interesting. Ladies hadn't worn gloves is ages, but she was no 200 year old demon. She was human. She smelt like curry and patchouli. She liked the East.

"I thought this was Angel's place. He owns everything else in LA, right?"

"It's mine now."

"He gave it to you, did he? He like your...face?" Spike asked emphatically looking her up and down.

"Something like that...But, I bought it fair and square with my money I made from being a professional thief." She said plainly.

"Well, if you're trying to go straight, stay away from bloody Angel. He's in with the white collar thieves now." Spike told her with raised eye-brows.

"Who said I was going straight? I just think it's wise to own real estate." she smirked.

"Spike this is Gwen...I can't believe she waited a whole thirty seconds to tell you she was a thief. It usually only takes her ten. It's like she's proud of it or something." Talia scowled.

"Talia, how are you, Cherry?" Gwen nodded with a smirk. "Now Talia is the one with the boss- not me...but, Angel did give me a heads up on you."

"Which was?" Spike asked.

"You're an independent contractor sent to take care of his son. He gave me double what I charge for a room he said I'd understand why when you showed. He said to call him if you got out of control. But, I don't think that will be necessary. He told me I could kick your ass if you were a pain in mine." Gwen stated as she looked over Spike. He was sure she only looked him over in her very overt fashion because he had looked her over. She was into retaliation.

"And how do you think you will do that? Do you know what Spike even is? I know you just can't turn on and off like a light switch, despite what the bathroom wall says. You need your little adjustment window when you take your de-freaker out." Talia demanded.

"Haven't you heard the good news, Doll? My adaptor is being fixed by Fred's people in the lab at Wolfram...it's busted. Just goes to show you... you should only buy the best... Oh wait..."

"Yeah- yeah... You didn't buy it- you stole it. We're all really impressed," Talia growled. Spike was impressed, about whatever it was Gwen stole.

"Why did Angel tell you all of this? He told me to tell you the bare minimum." Talia continued.

"Maybe he thought you'd forget to tell me. I don't know why. Since we are such good friends." Gwen said coyly. Spike grinned.

"How do you know about Angel's son? That information is classified!" Talia insisted.

"Maybe I've known longer than anyone," Gwen sang sarcastically.

Spike could feel it like he could feel the power of the slayers, or the evil at W&H, or the fact that a good amount of people died in this place.

"Ladies! Ladies! Maybe we can retract our claws for now? I AM a guest at this establishment and as much as I like a good cat fight, I'd like a room with an honor bar even better," Spike interrupted.

"Thanks. She's such a bitch!" Talia said after a polite enough Lackvar Demon showed them to the room.

Spike slipped him a twenty; even though this little job was all expenses paid. He was sure Angel would treat the help shabbily as usual. It sickened him to think how many people were Angel's "help" now. Including this cute yammering little bird. At least the one downstairs made sure she didn't work for the big poof. At least he didn't terrify them before he killed them anymore.

"She has some power that one downstairs... And it's not magics, is it? What is it?" He asked.

"Oh...I don't wanna talk about her. She's just one of the anti-socials Angel takes in so they don't wreak havoc...Thinks she's special or something" Talia said a mellow dramatic sigh flopping on the bed. So, she was staying. Spike was hoping that she had been all bark and when it was time to dance she would shy away.

"Hey!" She gasped suddenly. "How did you know that?"

"Know what?" He asked lighting a cigarette.

"That she had power? Power that wasn't magic in origin? You're a seer too! Did some of Drusilla's seeing power get into you? How? How did that happen if Angelus sired you? Angel can't see anything." She said all of this in one breath.

"You got that bloody right." Spike grumbled.

"So how?" She demanded.

"I could talk about that...or I could talk about the little girls I used to feed on. I liked them short and spunky a lot of the time- just like you" Spike smirked that would shut her up.

"Really? From what I read I thought I would be too old by now" She giggled. Spike frowned.

"Your friend wrote some sort of bloody age average of my victims in her thesis?" He had always said he liked veal, but he didn't realize that there was some kind of cut off age, and if this girl was above it that would have made him some kind of a...well, yeah.

"Yes. Your feeding preference was said to be mostly girls ages 15-23. Why? Was she wrong?"

"Christ! Did she juxtapose it with the fact that I have close relationships with birds of that age bracket now that I have my soul?" His brow wrinkled.

"Oh. No. She did her thesis way before you had the soul. She never found out you had it...I don't think. I swear, Lydia...She might even be disappointed...I think she liked you bad." The girl smiled.

"Liked me bad?" He smirked sadly. He felt a pang of bittersweet pain. There was that part of Buffy that liked him bad. When he was bad was the only time they ever really shagged.

"I'm still bad, Love... Very bad. You really shouldn't be in here with me...If you knew half of the things I had done-" He stalked over to her. Nice and slow, but stopped a good three feet away.

"Oh, but I do!" She said proudly. "I know at least half...and there are so many things I want to ask you... Why did you torture some people and not others? Why did you like to kill people with tuberculosis? Why did you bight Xin Rong and not Nikki Wood?"

So, there was something of a groupie following in the underground. That made sense. It seemed she hadn't even known he had saved the world. She seemed to love to talk about things he'd so rather forget. She probably would still be in here if he had no soul. Soulless he would have taken her life in a second... Well, not in a second. He'd have shagged her. Then he would have taken her. She was a rare find. The ones who knew it was coming and wanted it. The ones who got off on it. They would still always scream when it happened. None of them had known on a level of consciousness like this, but they HAD known. He had only come across a few in the one hundred and some odd years. He had let most of them go because there wasn't enough of a challenge.

And suddenly the girl was on him- like white on rice- a moth to a flame- a fly on shit- dust in the wind... Wait, that didn't work, "dust in the wind" was Faith. Her little Zen mantra. Spike knew Faith wished it was literally true at times... Too bloody bad. Faith would live a long time, as long as he could help it. With Buffy that had only been a yearlong. Slayers were the 'throw themselves to the lions' type, moths to the flame. He had been the flame and girls had been the moth for over one hundred years ...and it was still going on now.

"Your poor eye," The girl cooed. She had her hands on his face and in his hair. Buffy would do the things this girl was doing when he had been beaten down, after the First had come. Little did they know it was already irrevocable that she was to leave him. She was to go off into some wonky dimension where Angel had become human and become a bride at twenty and never remember anything of Spike and their time together. Buffy would lay him down on the bed like this girl was now and wash his eye and say: "Open your mouth", like this girl was and clean it out with a washcloth. He always seemed to get manhandled by five-foot nothing girls.

Much unlike Buffy, this one was going on about it with all the "poor, poor babys" and such. Buffy wouldn't say a word. But the look on her face would say it all. It said:

"Damn, you took a pounding. Damn, we're in a whole hell of a lot of shit, and seeing you like this is worse than seeing myself this way" Actually, if Buffy did speak she wouldn't say "damn" that would be Faith. Buffy would say:

"Why? Why does this keep happening to me, to you, to us? Look at you! You're a mess. You shouldn't be a mess. THEY should be a mess for hurting you. I hate this...Don't do this. I mean, I wish you didn't have to do this...I mean, thanks for doing this."

"Don't be upset, Love. This is just they way things are." Spike said softly as his eyes were closed he put his hand in her hair.

"You mean it's really no big deal for Angel to beat you up like this? This is just like a cultural thing in your family like the Klingons or something?" The girl was asking him as she kneeled over him and had his shirt off. He opened his eyes suddenly.

When he had found out where Buffy was jumping to from that awful Beljoxa's eye he had acted like such an asshole. Was this where she had been when she had died the first time? Was this her Heaven? To be a child bride to sodding Angel?

"Angel DID NOT beat me up. We pounded on each other! What people fail to realize is that I LET him hit me in the face, so I can do more internal damage to the Wanker...Is this what you wanted? Did you want to brass me off?" Spike demanded now on top of the girl holding her forearms.

"Of course not! This isn't my fault. I didn't make it this way. How can you think I am not just as upset as you are after everything that we've been through!" Buffy demanded. But, something WAS wrong. Her arms had gone limp. She was not fighting him. Not fighting at all.

"I'm sorry. It's just hard for me to understand, and I want to get it, you know? Is it that it doesn't hurt as much? Is getting punched in the face like someone bitch slapping you? I don't know if you remember, but if you are human and someone beats on you like that, it is very traumatizing. Do you remember how it feels, being human? I think I'd wanna forget too." The girl said seriously.

She was wide eyed, but he smelt no fear. Only arousal and perhaps tears that were still behind her eyes. He let go of her arms and she responded by caressing his cheek. He closed his eyes.

"It's better. It's better if you forget. Don't you think so?" Spike asked. The girl pulled him down to kiss him sadly, sweetly.

"How can you say that? You think I want to forget about you- about us! You think I want to be with him!" Buffy roared.

"Don't you?" Spike asked as he broke away from the kiss.

You were down there at zero hour sucking face with him! How can you not want to be with him!

"I don't know. It seems to me, that you're special. You never really forgot about being human... You still feel everything," The girl said kissing him again. This time more erotically with tongue twirling and sucking.

"You think really think I'm special? What about Peaches- Angel? He is sodding Elvis, the original soul-man. You must have thought about getting in on him too. The only thing stopping you was that happiness clause, right?" Spike demanded.

He sat up so she was straddling his lap. He spoke before she could answer him.

"Well, I can be as big and as bad as him...Before, during, after...I can be the sodding animal!" He said in vampire face. He made her believe that he was going to bite her nipples, but he licked them instead. She was moaning that moan. That high-pitched shaky breath moan. He was on top now, as she pulled down his pants. This girl grabbed his cock more gently than Buffy ever had. This girl was finally talking less than Buffy.

"Stop it! Stop it! That's not what I want!"

"This IS what you want. It's what you always wanted! To be in bed with the big bad! But, it's a catch-22 once the big bad loves you it doesn't seem so scary anymore...But, I can make it scary...Just like you wanted...Just what you asked for- the old me...Are you sorry that sodding chip is out now?" Spike demanded.

She shook her head against his shoulder as she waited legs open for him to plunge in. He froze. He was frozen again. "Please, Spike. Please!" Buffy had begged. Begged for him. Spike rolled off the speechless girl.

"Yep... I am the bloody rock star. Just order up what performance you want from me and I'll deliver it... I always have-haven't I? You think you want me? You don't want me, Love. You want the thrill that I give you. The line I make you walk in your mind...Angel may have been the first real legend with a pretty face. He created the serial killer... but me-I created the misunderstood bad boy... When Sid Vicious's Grand-dad was a fetus I was loving that one girl and bludgeoning the rest...and look where it got me...Look where it got Sid...At least Ted Bundy got to have a family before he died...Were his wife and daughter still loyal when they electrocuted him? I forget... Well, if they weren't I bet a lot of those blokes have the loyal families that would throw themselves on the chair instead. The serial killers go out loved...Us rock stars...We just go out, and take our girl's down with us if we can... Go to your sodding serial killer. He's not just all smoke and mirrors." Tears fell in his ears.

"Shhh...It's okay, Baby. It's okay. I'll make you feel better," The girl was whispering in his ear.

"It's okay, Love. It's okay. " Buffy had taken on his slang. His use of the word "Love."

The girl was kissing down his body. It had been over a year since he felt hard nipples against his skin sliding down with a tongue, but it had felt like yesterday. Buffy had smelt as she always did. Something like a wheat field mixed with Neutrogena soap. This girl smelt like cigarettes and Red Vines.

She was a seasoned veteran at ball cradling and using her hard nipples as massagers. How old was she? She said she was too old to be one of his 'feeding preferences?' She didn't look a day over twenty. Where did she get all this know-how? Well, how old had Buffy been? He knew Buffy didn't have any good sex teacher, or perhaps even any good sex before him. But, He hadn't needed to teach her a thing, because she had wanted him so badly. Buffy must have thought of doing all of the things she did with him- to him night after night in the darkest corner of her mind. Because once she decided to do it, there was none of her pussyfooting that she often did in only pleasant conversation. Buffy shagged him, as she would have fought in battle. She was neither stiff and strategic nor lacking in confidence or skill. She had been full of passion and precision. That was something, right? He was wanted so much, it just all came naturally.

This girl had an ass like Faith's. It was soft and had give, but there was something good and firm under it. Perhaps, Faith had something better and firmer under that soft give, but she was a slayer after all. Yes, you'd be surprised how many times in training and fighting a good ass grab just happened. It was something about her no-nonsense style that made him have to grab her ass- literally. Faith would tell him she was "goin' in" and she would go to jump down a sodding mineshaft or something. He'd catch her right under the curve of that ass. Spike would stand there holding her four inches above the ground to his height, by her ass, and bitch at her to not be so "bloody gung ho." Faith had a vampire on her side. He could see, hear, and smell things she couldn't. Faith had to learn to utilize Spike fully. He was a tool, not just back up firsts. She's tell him he was a "tool all right", or throw in a Giles joke. Rupert was never so hands-on. Spike grunted as the girl wiggled as he kneaded her ass.

"You thinking about MY ass, English? Well, it is a good ass... And you are FINALLY getting laid" Faith would say. Yes, Faith thought this was a good idea. She said it didn't matter if he was not over Buffy. You had to ride side saddle a couple of times before you really got back on again, she had said.

"I know you'd do anything for a girl you loved... Lemme do something for you." The girl whispered. Oh bloody hell! Stop the presses! There was no other saddle for him though, and his ass was just too whipped to even go along for the ride on this one. He pushed the girl off. He made sure he did it gently enough.

"I can't do this... I can't bloody do this. I know you think you know me, but you don't. I'm not your man, Love. Maybe if I thought I deserved this, I'd take it. It doesn't matter how much you know about me...I could never be your man...You know it and I know it. ...So, I think you should go, before you get hurt."

"I know what I'm doing... I only look young and innocent believe me." The girl laughed and began kissing him again.

"I know that you would do anything for me. How can I not love you?" Buffy had said. It had been awful. Worse then when she said he was "just convenient."

"No... No. Just go please. I need to heal from all this and I don't need you bloody at me and at me! You don't want love from me. You never did!" Spike barked.

"Don't you think I know that?" The girl demanded surprisingly shirty. "I KNOW I'm not in love with you... I know that you are that safe version of the dangerous un-obtainable male... I mean you- look at you! Look at all of you! You got your face beat in and you're off to go club some people on the head so they can actually think they live in a happy family... You date slayers- the people that are supposed to kill you. Then they have to jump dimension or the freakin' world ends...and then there is that one Slayer you and Mr. Windham-P were yelling about... I hear she’s nuts. Someone should have given her fake memories of a good childhood and the world would be a safer place-"

"Hey! Faith is all right now. She's a good girl... See what I mean? You don't even know her!" Spike grumbled.

"I'm not saying I do... I'm just saying I don't want to get mixed up in this Under-world. I mean, thank God I dropped out of the Council's graduate program or they would still be dusting me off Big Ben!" Talia grumbled as she put her clothes back on.

"Oh you Yanks are so-The sodding Council was nowhere near Big Ben. Do you all think that London is just stretched out on one block?"

"No, I don't! I lived there! I was being sarcastic. At least when I was in a different country I tried to drop all my stupid American slang...And I only lived there for one year not thirty...If you don't want to be treated like a rock star quit acting like one!"

"Well, you didn't seem to be complaining about it before, Nancy! 'Oh Spike...tell me I look young enough for you to feed off of me. That's such a turn-on.'" He mocked.

"I NEVER said I was turned on about that! I can't help it if I know my research unlike these two Slayers of yours that would do a lot better if they read anything past their minimum wage paycheck stubs!"

"'Ey! They happen to both be sharp as whips. They just have more to do than sit around and read about stuff that has nothing to sodding do with them all day," He roared as she went to the door.

"Yeah, well... Maybe they should have done what they were supposed to do rather than do whatever they were doing when Lydia died. Maybe they should have murdered less people to stay out of jail, or maybe they should have had the common decency to stay dead when they were supposed to, so things like the ultimate evil stay in fucking place!" She roared. That was when he grabbed her by the hair and pulled her head back.

"Go ahead! Do it!" She was growling at him as he was literally growling at her. She had stones this one.

"You were so sweet a second ago. Do you always turn into a bitch when things don't go your way?" He asked smugly letting her go.

Now she would be brassed off too. She would try to prove him wrong. It would be a fun argument.

"You're right." She laughed. He tilted his head in bemusement. He WAS, but this wasn't what he expected.

"But, you think I have any friends left between the Council and the blood bath here in LA? You think you're the only person that lost someone? At least that slayer you and Angel bludgeon each other over is alive somewhere. Do you really think I'm at W&H for free concert tickets and cute glorified bounty hunters? You think I know all about the whole fanged four linage and the slayers for fun? When the next end comes I'm gonna be in the know. I am not gonna be one of the clueless assholes who waits on you and YOUR slayer." She continued.

"I'm sorry, Talia." He said softly. "If anyone was ever waiting on me they WERE in a world of trouble...I'm no hero. You've probably seen the memo on that. But, don't bad mouth the Slayers. You have no idea how hard it's been for them and all that they do everyday."

"Well, whatever you all did. It wasn't enough... And I know it isn't your fault or theirs..It's just...I just came up here with you...To understand something...To know something...To feel
something." Talia had been crying since he said her name.

"I get that...Can you do something for me, though?" He asked softly.

"What? Are you gonna ask me to not cry? It's written you couldn't stand to see Drusilla cry. That you'd give her anything to stop her crying."

"No, sounds like you have a right to cry...I just wanna know, what on Earth is this 'Fanged Four' thing?"

"You don't even know where you come from! I swear you are more self-involved than Drusilla. Maybe siring you for her was the last thing Angelus did to push her over the edge into total madness and that was what finally worked." She snapped back into the talky bitch.

"Honey, you really need to research your family history on the Net... One thing I do know is Angelus drove Drusilla crazy. Maybe she was always a little loopy from the visions but he took it to new heights...He often called her his creation...I can't believe you didn't know. He drove her crazy when she was still human..."

"No. He called her his creation because he sired her is all. Angelus had a God complex." Spike insisted. He was not arguing about this when he could be shagging? Was he?

"That is totally true, but even Angel said Drusilla was one of the worst things he ever did... He killed her family- all of them- right in front of her...I don't want to get into details because I like sleeping... Didn't any of this ever come up in ninety years, or did she just suck you off and ask for dolls?"

"She mentioned that he killed them here and there. Maybe there was even a little part of her that missed them. But, it didn't really bother her that he did it. It was to be expected. They were vampires. Don't you Sods ever get that?" Spike growled.

"It's you that doesn't get it; Baby...Angelus killed them all when she was still human, in front of her.”

"You KNOW all of this about Angelus! All these sodding details! How can you work for him?" Spike demanded, but in a low tired voice.

"He has a soul now" Talia sighed.

"Is that really enough?" Spike genuinely asked.

"Hey...I'm not crawling' into bed with the guy- perfect happiness curse or not...I don't get that by the way...Since when is sex perfect happiness?... I mean you can have great sex and still be miserable about something else the whole--- Oh, I guess for a second... Anyway, maybe you can say being a vampire makes you not responsible for what you do, or maybe your will has never been freer. I studied all the stuff. You lived it...Who can say what's right, or even what the fuck is going on? I can't. You obviously can't!... I just know Angel, you, and whoever- you all seem to be the safest port there is to go to when the storm comes...So; I am his secretary waiting for the next storm. In the mean time, I go to lots of free shows...and I hit on the heavy hitters-because- How can I not? Of course the heavy hitters have HUGE egos and think I'm in love with them when all I want is--- Sometimes it just comes down to survival...Survival and feeling...I thought you would understand that." The girl wiped her eyes that were now red. Maybe she was thirty at the most. He would have still taken her in a second. He would have still considered her veal even if she knew too much.

"I do" He sighed. "But, I need to be alone."

"Whatever" She grumbled and was gone.

Spike kicked open another door at the Hyperion. It was his fourth.

"Well, all right!" He whooped. The man who was entering his room stared at him.

"Jack-Pot!...Get it? JACK-pot" Spike said holding up a bottle of Jack Daniels to the man. The man shook his head.

"Suit yourself." Spike sneered. "But...I knew... I knew that Peaches had to have a little work-out room around here since he used to live in this sodding place...and here it is!"

Spike gestures at the huge room with several punching bags hanging from the ceiling and work-out mats.

"See... Maybe he can bloody dupe me when he tortures my Ex until she's crazy and no one ever tells me...Maybe he can make an arse out of me when he swoops in and tries to steal her away...Maybe he can make a complete bloody fool out of me when he does it again with the second girl...The only one I really loved...But he can not CAN NOT hide the sodding work-out room!" Spike bellowed. He guzzled more Jack Daniels and threw the bottle into the workout room, which shattered with an echo. The man went into his room and locked the door.

"Wha? You're not gonna be a spotter then?" Spike grumbled. "You know...People think we have all this natural fighting ability as vampires...and we do...I admit it- we do. But..."

He turned into vampire face and growled and jumped up as high as he could and kicked one of the punching bags into the rest.

"We have to work at it if we really want to be any good...That's...the only way...We..last!" He grunted as he continued to hit the punching bags and dodged out of the way of them.

"Okay... First thing: Who are you talking to, Chief?" She scowled in the doorway her hands leaning on each side. Spike turned back into human face to turn to her.

"Genevieve, the lady that gets stolen from the king by his most loyal of Lords...Have you come to join the party?... A real lady does never come to a party without gloves" Spike sang to Gwen.

"This is why Angel told me to call him if I saw you drinking Jack? You start talking like a Ren fair guy and kicking in doors? I'm really insulted he didn't think I could handle this." Gwen muttered.

"Oh, Angelus thinks ladies can handle a lot...In fact he likes to give them all that they can handle and then some...Haven't you heard?" Spike smirked.

"Guess this just isn't my night then...C'mon, let's go, Brit boy... Back to the nice little room... Do you want someone to restock the honor bar for you?...Again?... You're gonna wanna be nice and sober for when you see Baby boy Angel, or else you won't get your money... People get really pissed when you show up on a job juiced up... in most cases" Gwen said as she took his arm.

"I do NOT do Angel's dirty work!...I am not the bloody help!" Spike roared as Gwen tried to pull him by the arm and he stayed planted.

"Strong little bugger aren't you?... I knew there had to be a reason Angel hired you." She smirked in amusement.

"I am not a second rate bounty hunter that you can just throw money at to do a job that you don't want to deal with!" Spike continued.

"No, you're a drunk memory killer that Angel can just throw money at to do a job that he doesn't want to deal with," Gwen cracked as she grabbed both of Spike's hands to begin pulling him out of the room.

Spike grunted in anger and threw Gwen off of him. She stepped back a few steps to keep from falling. Spike raised an eyebrow as if he were surprised she didn't fall.

"Okay, now I'm pissed" She chirped and got up and took off one glove.

"You don't know anything about me, Ducks... About why I'm here. I can't be bought! I am not your sweet Angel... who I am sure you know nothing about either."

"I know EVERYONE can be bought with something. I know Angel can't be bought with money and liquor , which is more than I can say for you...Let's go...Outta my room," Gwen commanded as she grabbed him by the arm with her gloved hand.

"Get you hands off me you skanky bitch," Spike spat.

"What did you just call me?" She demanded.

"I called you a skanky bitch... I had a girlfriend and a friend...I still have the friend and when they used to fight the words 'skanky' and 'bitch' would come out... So, I figure it is a good way to rub a girl." He stammered.

"You are really drunk, huh? Your ass would be too easy to kick no matter what mojo you have going on."

"You? Kick my..." Spike broke off laughing. "Wha? You have some mutating gene that makes you the strongest girl in your weight class? Your parents shagged near a toxic waste dump the Ronnie administration made?... I've taken on slayers, Love... The ultimate Evil, Goddesses that were doxier than you...Things that would blow you away. I'm---"

"Tell them 'hi' for me" Gwen said fiercely and touched Spike. He went flying back into the mirror which cracked.

"Bloody hell!" He shrieked "Are you a mad scientist that found a way to harness elec- ow-tricity?" He got up and held his head.

"No, it found a way to harness me, but you know, you use what you have...What do you have? Why are you still conscious and yapping?" She demanded.

"You want me to show you? We laying all our cards on the table?" Spike asked turning into vampire face and kicking her.

"Great! Another vampire... Angel has really let me down. He thought I couldn't handle another one of him," Gwen scoffed as she only managed to hit him a couple of times as he kept kicking her.

"I am NOTHING like Angel!... He's a liar and a bloody sell-out!" Spike roared kicking her in the face.

"Knew I liked the guy for a reason... Were you a soccer player or something? What's with all the kicking and lack of hands?" Gwen asked rubbing her face.

"Rubber grounds electricity...Docs always have good rubber souls" He said kicking her again.

"Hey...Look at the big 'ol brain on Spike... Maybe that's why Angel picked you as the 'Total Recall' guy" Gwen said coolly.

"Bigger brain than his anyway," Spike smirked.

"But as usual, us Goddesses have the biggest brains of all," Gwen smirked back and touched his chest. Spike kneeled in the corner coughing and holding his chest.

"BLOODY HELL!" Spike screamed.

"Sorry, Cherry. Will you go back to your room now, like a good boy?" Gwen asked slyly.

"You bitch! Why would you bugger me like this?... I thought you laid all your cards on the table" He whispered lowly.

"Aren't you a sore loser," She laughed.

"You haven't even begin to see how sore... If anything happens that I can't protect them from now... Their blood is on your hands, and I don't care how bloody human I am. I'll find a way to kill you for it...Fuck!" He growled and kicked the other mirror that shattered.

"Okay... I'm kinda getting why Angel wanted me to call him now. You're a total psycho... And you seemed so normal before talking about taking on ultimate Evils and things."

"Laugh it up, bitch... You'll really think it's funny when the body count starts rising again."

"You're going to go on a killing spree because a girl kicked your ass? You really should be more secure with your manhood"

"I'm not, but something will and I won't be able to stop it now! You had no right! No right, to make me human!" He roared.

"Whoa! Back it up there, Ringo. Make you what?" Gwen demanded.

"Sodding human! Did you think you were doing me a favor? I don't know what you think I'm playing at here, but it isn't Pinocchio... I didn't want to be a real boy! Not now!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I’m sodding human! I can feel my heart beating... I can bloody hear it. I'm alive. It's bloody awful!"

"Oh, Dolly...No...No you're not" Gwen laughed.

"Wha?"

"The electricity just makes your heart go boom boom...But, there's no real thunder in that lightning... Don't worry your still as dead as a door nail."

"I am?" He asked hopefully.

"I swear... Look in the mirror and you can see you still have that mean little vamp face... Oh, actually look in the mirror and see that you have no reflection... That works too."

"Oh." He sighed in relief when he turned to the broken mirror to see nothing there.

"The heartbeat's gone too" He smiled broadly "This is such a bloody relief!"

"Yeah, I bet you never felt more dead in your life... Man if the situation was reversed and I thought you could just touch my chest and make me normal I'd be begging you to do it" Gwen sighed. She went to sit down next to Spike.

"Wait" He said.

"Don't worry. I won't touch you...That's what all the boys want to hear from me" Gwen grumbled.

"No... I just don't want you to sit on broken glass... Especially in that skimpy thing you have on," He sighed and brushed the glass away.

"Oh," She muttered pulling on her skirt. "Well, thanks."

"What's with the mirrors, anyway? Has Angel gone completely mad?" Spike asked.

"No, I put them in... This is my work-out room now."

"Oh, well, I'm sorry then... If I knew it was yours I never would've busted in and been a Git about leaving... I just know how Angel likes to have all his toys in place... He probably hasn't been able to get them all this nice and shiny since he stopped murdering people for them." Spike grumbled.

"So, what's the deal with you and Angel, anyway?... I get the feeling there is some bad blood between you... more than the usual between him and his friends," Gwen asked.

"You could say that" Spike chuckled.

"Does he owe you something? Is that why he hired you for this job?"

"You could say that too... But, he owes a lot of other people a lot more... His son... A few girls I loved...love... In fact, there is only one girl I know he didn't screw over, at least I don't think he did... Better not have... Whatever the deal is with you and Angel- don't bloody do it," Spike warned. He took some cigarettes out of his pocket.

"No deal with Angel...a few business deals... and some confidences shared. He knows I have no friends. So, he tells me things sometimes... He's torn up about his kid. That's the whole reason he went to Wolfram, you know? For his kid. You are doing him a great favor by fixing this with his kid," Gwen told him.

"Not a bloody favor!" Spike scowled "As you said, a business deal... and a good one for me. It gets me everything I want and some extras."

"Still, he's trusting you with the most important thing to him," Gwen said.

"Well, he took the most important thing to me," Spike scowled.

"What? Some girl? Well, whoever she is he's not with her now... And obviously there is some other stuff is important to you, as you said this deal gets you what you want... What do you want?... I can't believe you don't want to be normal." Gwen said haughtily.

"What idiot sod would want to be normal when they have been given power?" Spike demanded.

"Angel," Gwen answered to which Spike laughed.

"Angel is the last person in the world that wants to give up power he has... He would only become human for her... Thinking he could do it, and then he would find out he preferred it the other way, even if he had to be without her... I'd become human for her in a bloody second and I'd stay that way... I'd do the whole bald and fat thing and I would die... with her."

"This is that same girl Angel mentions, isn't it? That's what all the bad blood is about. God, men are so lame!" Gwen laughed. "First of all you have no idea what Angel was willing to give up for his son and this mystery chick... I bet she's blond, isn't she? Second of all, you just said you'd be human for her with no regrets... When I made Angel's heart beat he sure as hell didn't have the cow you had."

"Well, it's different now! I have things I have to do. I have a slayer I have to train. She's bloody brilliant but she missed out on a lot of training since she's been in jail. There's also Dawn to look after, who Buffy left in the care of mostly Red and the boy... But, I-I know things about Buffy they can't know- that Dawn will want to know... Things about power that you have to have power to know about... Maybe Red knows, but she can't talk about it... And they also can all be such idiots... I need to save their lives!" Spike scowled.

"Well, from what I got it sounds like you have a nice little family there with some criminal past and power struggle issues, but what family doesn't have those?" Gwen asked. Spike started laughing.

"Bloody hell! Look!" He chuckled. As he looked at his cigarettes for the first time. It looked like the pack had been burned in spots.

"Yeah it sucks to be me," Gwen sighed.

"I would think it's brilliant to be you. You did that to my fags because I was being a pain in the ass...Hey, it kind of sucks to be me...I'm outta fags."

"You're the one with the little family... I can't even touch anyone or they get like those cigs... Crispy critters may not talk back, but they still don't make for good company."

"You can't touch anyone?"

"Well, I can. They would just get shocked to death if I did it for too long... So cuddling with the kids is out... Making kids is out."

"So you never..."

"No, I have. I stole this regulating device from one of the fortune 500... It made the spark die... So, I could have it in the bedroom. But, a few months ago it started acting funny...Fading in and out... Weird how fear of being randomly electrocuted can scare a boyfriend away... So, I gave it to Angel and he gave it to Fred the head research girl at Wolfram... And I'm waiting."

"That's bloody awful."

"Well, I wasn't very good at dating, anyway" Gwen joked.

"Me neither" Spike rolled his eyes

"Yeah, what did you do to Talia? She looked rattled when she left," Gwen asked.

"Nothing. That was the problem... At least I think it was... We started... but she was all high on me thinking I was the big bad and asking me questions about my past."

"Yeah, I know it sucks for me when someone thinks I'm really cool and is interested in my life." Gwen scoffed.

"It's a bit more complicated than that, Pet" Spike retorted

"Lemme guess- that blond girl." Gwen groaned.

"Partly...Mostly... But I was trying to be all bloody Zen and have a go at it. Have some fun... But then the girl just ended up getting all-angry that I didn't...Oh, I don't even remember! I told her I couldn't be her man, so she wouldn't get hurt...And then she started yelling at me about my family history or something."

"She was mad that you weren't going to be her boyfriend. Once sex comes into play everything changes. She may have said she was mad about something else, but that was it."

"So, what is a bloke to do?"

"No..It was good you said something. Believe me. I've been in situations where things have turned into one nightstands and if the person had only announced that before hand I would have been fine, but-It was good you said something. Now you know Talia can't handle that... Most girls can't... I can, but most can't"

"Sod the whole thing!"

"Huh, it's nice you have the option to say that. In my particular situation I can't chose"

"Oh, quit whining. For every power there is a price."

"Hey! You don't know what it's like...

"Yes I do!"

"You’re sitting there looking all sexy and almost healed up from that shiner you had this morning... You have people throwing themselves at you."

"Yeah that worked out brilliant... Don't you think?"

"Oh shut-up! That was a choice! You can pull out your fangs whenever you want. You can look like a demon to scare people away, or you can look like the cute pouting cherry that you do right now."

"I can't turn it off. I can't go out in the light... When someone is bleeding you don't think I still smell that and want to suck it all out of them like a bloody juice pop."

"Okay, nasty... And I don't feel sorry for you. You look like the I-wear-my-sunglasses-at-night-type anyway. But, speaking of juice, you don't think I want to zap every annoying customer until their ears smoke."

"Right and YOU make a choice not to do that... By the by you can hire a hotel manager to work with the people."

"I know! I'm just waiting until after people forget about the whole Jasmine massacre thing and more people start coming in...But, that's not the point...This" Gwen said grabbing his hand "is all I got... It doesn't stop when the sun goes down."

"It's tingly ...It's kinda...neat" He giggled.

"Yeah, well, it may be neat to you, but if you weren't a freak like me you'd be having a seizure on the floor right now."

"That not what you hit me with before. I swear that sobered me up faster than---"

"Well, I can turn it higher and lower, but the lowest is still dangerous to people."

"Well, that's a choice then, in' it?"

"Wow, a choice to filet people or merely zap them ... Lucky me."

"Oh c'mon! I was in here with you having a tumble and you were loving it... You steal things, right? Well, I'm sure this comes in handy," Spike said as he kept hold of her hand. Then he licked his finger and touched her hand with it.

"Do you mind?" She scowled.

"It feels different when it's wet."

"Well, I'm so glad you're enjoying it... But, I'd rather be a normal person... with the bunch of kids you were talking about."

"Kids? Oh, Oh, bloody hell, Love! No... No you wouldn't! First off, most of them are just infants by mental age... I'm really only there for Faith and Dawn. Though Kennedy and 'Manda are all right...and I have nothing against Red...But, don't get me started on the boy. Do you think I want to stay in the bloody suburbs waiting for that Hellmouth to open again?... I'll admit I like to fight... But, those apocalypses can be a rub. This is where my lack of choice comes in... I need to keep being a vampire to help all these little girls save the world."

"It sounds like a choice to me. I mean you could just high tale it out of there any day.... Go out and party all night, sleep all day...Never grow old."

"What and miss out on all the fun of getting my heart smashed to bits for the 100th time when I can't save another one of them?" Spike smiled. "I could never bloody chose to runaway. That's not a choice. Not when I could help them... Faith, she thinks I stay because of Buffy, they were her family really. But, the truth is it would be easier to leave because of Buffy... Go off to be with other people who don't understand what the fuss is over one girl, like Angel did... But, I stay because they need me... and I need them to need me... One day, Faith, she won't need me... She's got more potential in her than anyone I've ever seen...Some people are just late bloomers...Guess how I old I was when I---"

"Shut-up!" Gwen yelled "You are making me feel like a shitty person and I don't even know who the hell any of these people are!"

"Okay... I swear I don't know why I bother talking to birds anymore... I always brass them off when I'm just---"

"I would never do that, okay? I would never stick around somewhere if I didn't want to be there to help some people with the end of the world of all things... I would just run... I said that I wanted a family, and I blame this.." Gwen said grabbing his face and it tingled "..on not having one. But, if I did have one I'd probably just leave them high and dry...with no power."

"No you wouldn't... You prolly just don't know what it's like to trust people since you can't get close to them is all...You're a late bloomer... What I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted was I was in my late thirties before I ever really got close to anyone. I was even in love once before, but not close... How close can you get to a girl driven insane by a man you--- You just need to find people that can get close to you... and there will be some regardless. Your boy who left is a Wanker. He could have just worn latex all the time."

"You really look good for someone in their late thirties" Gwen stated

"Umm... I meant one hundred and thirties...Vampire, Love." Spike smiled.

"Oh God! I don't have that kind of time." Gwen laughed hopelessly.

"Well, that is one good thing about being a vampire."

"There's another...This" She said and kissed him. She was the stick my tongue down your throat type. The tongue didn't seen to have that zap, but the hands sure did.

"Wow...You do have your spark... But, I can only get so close to you...blonde bird and all." He smiled and rubbed his hands down her unitard, and she seemed to react to as if she was naked.

"That's okay... I have to start out small... I could never be with you anyway... You live in the 'burbs with a bunch of kids...too normal." She said as she slipped out of the unitard thing.

"You wear those things to make sure you're all covered up...but, I bet, you don't mind that they are as tight as skin on a grape." He smirked as he ran his hands down her real body now.

"You do h-have a big brain." She shuddered.

She was like rubbing a hotel quilt they forgot to put the fabric softener on. A very sensitive blanket. He supposed if no one ever touched him he would be the same way. Actually, he wondered how he could stand it. Even a spark that made people afraid to hit you seemed a shame. It was good to feel pain now and again. It reminded you how good pleasure was.

"What does it feel like?" She asked in awe as she grabbed his cock in her little lightning hands.

"Like you giving my cock a pulse...But unlike me it performs better when it's brought to life." He whispered as she shuddered because he merely dipped his finger in her.

"You like it?...You really like it?" She asked laughing as he sucked on her electric nipple. It was like sucking on pop rocks if they moaned.

"You can make my heart beat anytime, Love." He told her.

Did he really just say that? Would he come back for more of her and not be plagued with thoughts of Buffy? He would come back for more, but he would be plagued with thoughts of Buffy. That is what his brain was saying as he sank himself into this girl nice and slow. He hardly knew her this girl. He didn't love her. But, he liked her hardness that yielded so easily with touch. Touch that only certain people could bring. This girl may be a great fighter, but her force came from outside of her. So, he was slow gentle but deep.

"How do I feel?" She asked with her eyes closed.

He only moaned in response. She seemed happy with that and moaned back. She felt like she had a tingly humming motor down there. She came a little and he felt her pussy squeeze tight and a little extra surge of sparks came burst out of it.

"Oh...Bloody brilliant." He groaned as this kept happening.

"'Mmm..not hurting you am I?" She asked her voice soaked with pleasure and giggles.

"God, no" He grunted and flipped them over so she was on top. Then he pulled her down so there bodies met. This pleased her in a new way. She shook and surged. It was like he was holding onto a human massage chair and he had gotten his cock in it. He saw sparks coming out of her hands and he put them on his chest. The second his heart beat he purposely turned into vampire face and grunted. He knew she could take it, but she took it better then he thought. She laughed ,moaned, and pushed her face into his.

"Might as well put you freak face on if you're with another freak." She asked after a few minutes of her still letting out small little yelps of pleasure. "You didn't seem to mind."

"I didn't... It was oddly hot... I liked knowing I couldn't hurt you."

"Not me. Never.. Got a heart of steal, I do."

"Sure are a scared little pussy about me winding it up."

"So, I guess you haven't wound up a boy in a while."

"Nope... That was my first time with the juice on... Like losing a second virginity.. Almost as good as losing the first one."

"For most people that is a bust... So to speak" He grinned.

"The guy was cool. Very cool. A good person. Too good to stick around"

"Please don't tell me it was sodding Angel... I'll kill him for you... Actually, tell me it was sodding Angel. I'll kill him for you."

"No... Gunn is a good guy. He meant no harm in leaving. I told him I was a loner a thousand times... But, he DOES have a big ol' brain kinda like yours, but sweeter. You think he would have figured out I at least wanted to try again." Gwen frowned.

"He is a good bloke. But, he might have started his dark decent into corporate life."

"Or maybe he wants to get back together with that little cherry Fred...You know Gunn, huh."

"Well, well Freddy swings both ways." Spike smirked as he ran his fingers through her wavy hair. Not many birds had wavy hair anymore. Buffy had it when he first realized he loved her.

"Fred swings both ways? It's always those geeky ones... It doesn't matter whether Gunn is an evil yuppie or enjoying a threesome with Fred, I'd never be able to touch him with out my adapter."

"There are ways around these things, Love... If the Gunn really wanted to be with you-"

"He'd have called a year ago." She finished plainly. She could clearly handle the rejection, but it was as if she thought that rejection was all that was possible. He was reminded of Faith. He was glad she had Wood even though it meant he had to constantly watch his back.

"So you're hung up on Gunn and I'm hung up on Buffy. We both desperately want them, but can't have them due to wonky circumstances... but they prolly don't want us anyway, and we both are way too pretty to let these bodies go to waste." He smirked.

"You're hung up on a girl named Buffy... Is she a cheerleader?"

"She was."

"Gah, she sounds so non-freaky... so normal." She traced his abs. The birds loved the abs. He really didn't care about hers because he was too distracted by her huge breast.

"Well, she had to give up the Cheerleading because she had to slay vampires, and she saved the world a lot... And even though she was supposed to kill me she believed that I could become a good man, and she made me do it by kicking my ass a lot... And I helped her save the world by burning out my soul... But, then we discovered that as long as she was in this dimension the origin of evil would be able to rise."

"Why?" Gwen asked. Only one of Angel's people would have only one question about all he had just said.

"Because she died and her friend used magic to bring her back and that upset the balance of the mortal scales... So, she had to jump dimensions."

"Oh, huh, not so normal then."

"No, not so normal."

"Just goes to show even those girls that seem all normal-"

"Oh, she never seemed normal. Half the time no one knew what she was talking about... I did... But, she wasn't normal. She only had two friends... a lesbian witch and an odd boy."

"I don't really have any friends."

"She liked ice capades and really awful movies where everyone was 35 pretending to be in high school... and power ballads... Can't forget those." He laughed. Oh was that a cue to say that he was her friend?

"You're right I don't see her blending." She sighed as she cuddled up against him. It was like cuddling with a very soft shapely plugged-in tele. No she didn't need a friend. She needed a body she could do this with. That was familiar, but this time it didn't hurt. In exchange for being a body, he could talk about Buffy all he wanted. Not a bad deal.

"Blenders are boring. I need a slicer." Spike smiled.

"Want a generator? For a little while anyway? When you’re in town..." Gwen said kissing him.

"LA..." He paused to kiss her. "And all it's bloody glitter... Is not half ba-" He was interrupted by the door crashing down.

"Spike!" Angel growled in vampire face. He was followed by Gunn with an ax.

"Sweet Jasmine!" Gunn yelped after he took one look and left the room.

"Angel! Holy shit...Gunn." Gwen yelped. She was trying to cover herself up with her skimpy unitard.

"Here." Spike sighed and covered her with his coat. "What the bloody hell are you-" He was interrupted by Angel picking him up by the throat.

"You are dead! Dead!" Angel growled in game face.

"Really?" Spike growled in vampire face. "Killing doesn't seem to be your style. Why don't you torture me? I'm dressed for it."

"Angel. Stop." Gwen demanded and hit him so he dropped Spike.

"Oh sweet Jesus!" Gunn said numbly and he peaked in and then disappeared again.

"Gunn... Wait!... This isn't what it looks like. Actually, it is exactly what it looks like but--" Gwen called after Gunn, but then stopped to hold the coat closed.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" She demanded to Angel and slapped his arm with the sizzle of electricity.

"Ow!" Angel whined. "He was all on you... You were all on her!" Angel yelled at Spike.

"She was on top, Peach." Spike grumbled with his head in his hands as he sat naked on the mat.

"You- you and him... Him and you-" Angel stammered to Gwen.

"Made the beast with two backs?" Gwen questioned with a smirk. Spike smirked back at her. Angel saw this and his eyes bulged.

"Yeah... You really are so in love with Buffy." Angel sneered at Spike.

"Um, yeah I really am!" Spike growled and stood up to glare at Angel. "But, since she is in another dimension hitched to a total Wanker... I decided to go on with my life...Much like a certain Wanker in this dimension who decided to move on by shagging evil bitches!"

"Oh, man! This Buffy has to be a cherry." Gwen sighed.

"Oh, sweet Lord." Gunn half laughed as he peaked in the doorway.

"Gunn come in here." Gwen ordered.

"No thanks!" He laughed. "One too many naked dudes in there for me...I'm glad you are okay, though"

"Why wouldn't I be? What the hell are you guys doing gang busting into my place?" Gwen demanded.

"Um...You called me and said Spike was drinking Jack" Angel said softly.

"I thought you just wanted to know if he'd be sober for the job...I said I could handle it." Gwen barked.

"And you did, Love." Spike smiled.

"Oh my God!" Gunn could be heard laughing outside.

"Shut-up!" Angel barked at Spike and turned back to Gwen. "When Spike drinks Jack he has a tendency-a tendency to make the nearest hundred people around him very dead."

"Bloody fuckin' hell!" Spike yelled in outrage and got up to shove Angel. "That was a century ago you drooling idiot! I have a soul now, and I don't know how yours took affect but I've found other ways to entertain myself."

"I didn't-I don't... Well, I can see that!" Angel finished defiantly. "I mean what the hell are you doing? Look at this room. Gwen isn't-I mean she's-You are out of control!" Angel insisted.

"Excuse me! Raise your hand if you the vampire that can shag and is talented enough to keep a grip on his soul." Spike smirked. Gunn could be heard laughing in the hall.

"That doesn't make it a good idea." Angel insisted.

"Seemed like a good idea to us, Pope John Paul... Quit this saintly act. You are just so brassed off that I did one of your honeys that you wanted but couldn't have because she has the spark for perfect happiness in her." Spike chuckled.

"Oh Buddha above!" Gunn laughed.

"Look-" Gwen began.

"No!" Angel yelled. "I'll have you know I could of had her... And she wouldn't have brought me perfect happiness. I just decided it was not a good idea."

Gwen looked at Angel and bolted out the door.

"Gwen!" Gunn called after her.

"Gwen?" Angel said bemused. "Oh... I didn't mean it like that! Gwen! It's not you! My life is just..."

"You are a sodding moron! I think I know why women like you-They are all bloody masochists!" Spike growled as he jumped into his jeans.

"Not smooth, man... Gwen is a great girl... a bit unruly- but hey. I'm not complainin'... but I'm sure you'd have lost your soul...Hell I nearly-I don't think we should take her for granted " Gunn said gently to Angel.

"You should go see if she is all right, Mate." Spike said to Gunn.

"Me? Why?" Gunn brow crinkled.

"She knows you better than me, right? We can't have Peaches do it. He would take too long finding her with his bloody foot in his mouth and his head up his ass" Spike growled. "Do you want me to sniff her out for you?"

"There is no way I could want that any less! I know she'll just be in the pent-house suite with all the best bootie...But thanks." Gunn shook his head and left.

"Buffy is about to be twenty-three. I'll bet she has out-grown your mortal arse in that bloody dimension she jumped to and she left you...And, I bet you are sodding bald and fat." Spike grumbled and left.

"... way too complicated to achieve perfect happiness." Angel finished with a sigh

"Hell-o" She answered groggily.

It was only 2 am. She would be home with Kennedy watching "She Spies." She would have left Wood all happily shagged. She only slept at his house when he didn't have to go wake-up and be headmaster. Besides Wood hated the telle and she made it a point to watch every B grade show, but none of the network stuff. She said it was boring. Kennedy would make the soup. It was Prorogues. She didn't make it when Red was around because Red would just pout about the poor lambie that died for the soup. The soup was good- dead lambie especially.

"You awake?" He asked grinning.

"I answered the phone, didn't I?" She grumbled.

"Hell... What's the matter with you didn't get laid?" He scoffed still grinning.

"Actually, no," She said, wearily or bitterly he couldn't tell.

"Wha's the matter? Wood couldn't get any?" He suppressed laughing.

"One day you and Harris will get tired of that double entendre." She told him, but he knew she was smiling...Sadly though.

"What's wrong?" He asked. No longer grinning.

"The shadow demon came out again." She sighed.

"Are you all right?... I can come back right-"

"I'm fine. I feel like someone roofied me and threw me down the stairs of the Guggenheim, but I'm fine," She said plainly. He frowned.

"I can leave now and be there before daylight. Actually, I have this bloody brilliant car now---"

"No, no... It's sort of a waste. You coming back to feed me aspirin...I have Special K and Robin for that...You do your double O seven thing for Angel... You bastard Brit! You make me constantly stick up for Angel around you like I am your God damned den mother or something and then you go off and---" She couldn't have been that bad then, if she was still mad about this job.

"Speaking of secrets...You finally told your man about the shadow demon." Wood would be a good nursemaid. He'd jump at the chance to feel like he had saved Faith from something for a change.

"Kinda had zero choice. He saw it surge outta me and do all its skateboarding tricks. You know how it's a different show every time. It seemed to boil this demons brain."

"Lovely...So, was your man impressed?" Spike laughed. Maybe it was stupid to worry. Not only was she tough but she had something else inside of her that was vicious when sparked. They just didn't know what sparked it, or what it would do next.

"Not exactly. When I told him the story he said I shouldn't have done it... He said that I should have refused the shadow guys and this demon- like B did" She added the Buffy part with a sigh. Spike's hand that wasn't holding the ridiculously small phone turned into a fist. Why was Wood talking about Buffy? What did he know about her? He obviously didn't know much about his own girl either!

"Bloody Hell! Is he remembering we were fighting the biggest war of our lives? Buffy wanted me to bring my demon out, but she couldn't take that demon in."

"This is a first. Robin saying I should have done what B did, and you saying she should have done what I did...Actually, I think that's a major apocalyptic sign. Is the Hellmouth opening again?"

"Oh, I'm not sayin' that... Buffy was different." He told her. "Too pure for to have any dark demon in her. It wouldn't have been right for her---"

"Yeah, but me having evil things put in me by men is what I do best...So while B figured out all the ways to save us, not only did I let some man-made bomb blow us to bits, I also visited a gang of boys and had them hit me with their best shots...and it did nothing...But a year later the symptoms from my gang-bang begin to show. It takes over my body and mutilates everything and leaves me weak for a while... Maybe a shot of penicillin with take care of it." She said wearily. There was no bitterness.

"Faith, I beg you... I bloody beg you to not do this to me now... I have had such a night with birds and their hurt feelings-I just can't take anymore! You know all of that dark slayer crap is bullocks! You know you went to that sodding shadow dimension to do all that you could to save the world. You know that you and Buffy are very different, but different doesn't mean one is a better slayer." Spike pleaded.

"Chicks and their hurt feelings, huh? Is that your secret mission with Angel? You're running a women's focus group for W&H's new Fall line of PMS pills?" And like that her hurt feelings were gone. Did she actually believe the things that came out of his mouth? They were true, but that had never made anyone believe them before. Maybe she just liked to hear a man beg so she gave them what they wanted when they did it. Was she the positive reinforcement type?

"No...Dealing with birds and their hurt feelings is always one of the balls you juggle when you get shagged," He laughed.

"Oh! We should hold a fuckin' parade! K! Spike got his balls juggled! We had a bet going to see if you would screw Angel's secretary... See K thought you would do it- just to piss-off Angel, but I thought you really were still too B whipped...But, it's a bet I'm happy to lose."

"Why did I close that Hellmouth? You birds need more entertainment than my sodding sex life." He rolled his eyes now.

"We are just worried about you, E. We don't want you to just brood over Buffy for eternity and get really boring and crotchety."

"Even if I never shagged again there is NO WAY I would turn into Angel! And what is this about eternity it's only been a sodding year or so." He took another Snickers bar out of the honor bar and chomped on it.

"Don't bullshit me! You know exactly how long she has been gone."

"All right! So, it's been one year and five months and eleven. ...no twelve days since Buffy jumped to the dimension where she is married to mortal Peaches, whose ass I could kick in seven seconds...Still that isn't a very long time when you have forever." He washed down the Snickers with a little bottle of Goldschlagger.

"Yeah how does that work exactly?... Is it like dog years, only the opposite? Do decades feel like days to you guys?" She did have a raw innocence about her despite everything.

"It's all wonky, Love... All wonky... The first hundred years flew buy like a party...Then punk came... Oh that was brilliant! The next twenty years flew by like an even better party! Then it all started to slow down... When I fell in love with Buffy those years felt like a lifetime, but still a lifetime was too bloody short. This time that she has been gone has felt like an ice-age."

"Great. You're saying our friendship has been part of a lifetime and an ice age... Like waiting on line for Aerosmith tickets or something."

"It does seem like we have always been friends."

"Were kindred losers... Beautiful losers...on that ticket line...So, what was the sex like?"

"You're not a loser! Huh?"

"With Angel's secretary?"

"Oh, it wasn't her. Well...She started with me... but it was this other bird."

"'Ho! Two women and I was worried...I see your game now...'Oh, there only one bird for lil'ol' me.. I try to keep a stiff upper lip but if all of you other birds can flock around and make me feel better... I would be ever so grateful'" She mocked in a British accent that made her sound like she had never been out of the West end.

"First off all, I keep telling you that is the bloody worst impression of me ever. It's like if someone were to do one of you with Long Island lockjaw. Second of all, that is not MY game. You have me mixed-up with some other vampire who says they love Buffy... I swear you torture me."

"I torture you? I think you do a good job of that yourself." She snorted.

"No, it's all you... I just want to rest...and you're all: 'Oh, go out and have a good shag. It always makes me feel better...go on...go.' I swear I'm the only man nagged to death about having a shag by a woman...Now I did it and I get lip about it" He smiled.

"How can I nag you to death when you are already dead? Sittin' around cryin' over B who's off in Angel's dream dimension." She chirped. She could be so cruel.

"Do you want to hear this story or not?" He grumbled.

"Maybe just the highlights for now. I'm tired." She laughed her voice cracking with the laugh and the weariness. He frowned. He wondered if she had a fever. The demon often left her with one. But, he knew she we be insulted if he asked.

"Highlights..." He smiled. Ready to entertain. "The girl's got a spark...I mean literally... Maybe that is the only kind of spark I'll ever feel...Angel seems to fancy her. He walked in on us and tried to strangle me while I was naked...You think he would remember he's not the only one that doesn't need to breath...Wanker."

"Wait! I'm wide-awake now and I want details! So, you and Angel fighting naked...Go on... Do you mind if I tape this? 'No'- Great!" She bolted up giggling. He smiled. This was more like her.

"UUGH! I thought we talked about this." He roared. "'Joke about anything bloody thing you want,' I say...Call me Buffy-whipped...Talk endlessly about my blood-lust railroad spike days, which can be a hoot if you have the stomach for it...But DO NOT- DO NOT joke about Peaches and--- I'm gonna beat your ass."

"Okay. So, who beat whose ass as you and Angel were fighting naked? ...Did the girl have a whip?" Faith cackled as Kennedy was saying something in the background.

"You know something you ARE evil. More evil then this sodding corporation that Peaches is tied into." He grumbled as he looked at his check that Angel had given him with its cheeky little Wolfram and Hart logo.

"Why are you there then? You better tell me or I'll make a sodomy bondage joke out of what you just said"

"If I tell you- will you take the money I'm getting?" He asked as he held the check up to the light even though he could still see better in the dark in most cases.

End of Part two (Scroll my Pretties Scroll)---------------