Sorry it's been such a long time. Woundup Orange passed away and it's been very hard to muster anything up in the way of a next chapter since. This one's for Mort.

Usual disclaimer applies.

XD Impending doom for the Fellowship of the Ring as they get closer to uncovering the secret horror of the Nightclub of Moria [incidentally the word count for the last chapter, not counting the author notes, was 666….

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They walked along aimlessly for a while until Aragorn took the map from Gandalf and turned it the right way up.

The next room was smaller and had the look of a study about it. There was a large desk in a corner; a high-backed chair behind it and stacks of yellowing parchment collected in two trays marked 'Inne' and 'Outte' on top. Pippin immediately ran to the desk and began rifling through them, creating clouds of dust that the others had to step back to avoid. The others studiously avoided looking at the few skeletons in the corner, dwarves and Geeks that looked as though they had been in a drunken brawl when they died.

Ah,' said Gandalf satisfactorily. 'The Manager's Office. And from here on to the Bridge of Doo-ah, Khazad-dûm,' he amended again hastily at sharp glances from the two Men.

'Here, Master Took,' he said suddenly. 'Let's look at what's written there.' He held out a hand into which the younger hobbit placed a few leaves of parchment with the spiky writing of the Dwarves across it. It looked like log entries and disturbingly, the latest dated one suddenly trailed off into mad scribbles down the page.

'What does it say, Gandalf?' Frodo asked curiously. The wizard cleared his throat and began reading.

'…The beer has run out.

Geeks came, attracted by the lure of Karaoke and we were foolish enough to believe that they were lightweights. They drank the last keg and got violent. We're holed up in here for the time being but we don't know for how long.

The beer has run ou-'

Sam gulped.

'Um,' said Frodo. 'By any chance, how many Geeks are we looking at being here now?'

Gandalf waved a hand airily. 'Oh, not many. Just try not to snort – that's their mating call.'

Pippin chose that moment to pull a long cord that dangled close to the chair behind the desk and all along the corridor outside and beyond, bells began to sound, rather alarmingly loud in the previous silence.

Several moments later, when the echoes were just starting to die away, everyone was still glaring daggers at the poor mischievous hobbit, who, if possible, was trying to make himself even smaller. Gandalf stalked over and hit him on the head with the knobbly bit of his staff.

'Right, now we're sitting ducks, we should make a move for it,' he declared brusquely to the rest of them. 'Come on, to the bridge.'

Boromir, who was making his ay out through the door first, suddenly backed up into Aragorn again, who in turn protected his already bruised nose. Following Boromir's stricken gaze, the rest saw a quivering arrow protruding from the wood.

'Geeks,' Gimli said shortly and brandished his axe in the direction from which the new threat had come.

Aragorn removed the arrow. 'L.A. ,' he specified, throwing it to the ground.

Legolas cursed in Elvish again. 'The worst kind,' he hissed, his bow drawn and arrow notched. The hobbits huddled together and each had drawn their swords. Sting was glowing a hideous shade of neon green that made Frodo feel rather sick to look at. He hoped this would be over soon.

Then the first of them charged through the door, followed by a wave of others, similarly clad in baggy black clothing and ill-fitting armour. These were cut down by the Men and Gimli jumped in to deal with those that decided to go for the weaker-looking hobbits. As soon as those were dealt with, there was a kind of lull until a much louder, more terrifying sound amid a background of soft snorting was heard…

'…Ahh, testing, 1, 2, 3…'

Boromir sighed. 'They have a karaoke machine with them.'

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XD No disrespect to fellow L.A. . As for karaoke, that can go hang.