Summary: What if Squall never met Rinoa, then what would have happened? Here's an idea. Genre is because I don't know where this should go, and oxymorons make things better.

Genre: ??? (I put it under humor/horror because it's an oxymoron.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII. I own this plot.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Chapter 1-Exposure

Squall Leonhart's eyes opened suddenly. He had been asleep! [Oh no, how long?! No, no that's not good!!! NO! ]

He started thrashing about. [ NO!!! THEY PUT ME IN A STRAITJACKET!!!!! THEY KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE STRAITJACKETS!!!! They think I'm some kind of lunatic or something?! Where am I? They know I hate being in this enclosed space!!! What if I breathe?! Oh no, that would be bad!!! Especially here! What if all the air runs out and I just breath carbon dioxide?! Oh no, this is sooo bad . . . .]

Squall settled down and sat on the floor, hating himself for doing so. [ So they make me sit! Turn OFF the gravity please!!! Just for a little while. . .?] He looked up from the floor and spotted a small glint of sunlight through a rectangular window on the wall opposite him. Someone was looking through it. [NOO!!! They put a WINDOW in my room!!!! And someone's looking through it!!!! NO!!!!]

Meanwhile outside the room, Dr. Kadowaki, the head doctor at the Galbadian D-District Asylum, closed the window looking into the room of the person with the facility's worst case of mental health. Next to her was a girl who was about the same age as the boy inside.

"So, what do you think?" the doctor asked.

"What's his problem again?"

"Don't make me go over the entire list again."

"I know, I'm just kidding." The younger girl thought about it for a moment. "I'll take him."

"Are you [sure] of what you're getting yourself into?"

"Yes! This man needs serious help! I can help him."

"All right."

Dr. Kadowaki opened the door to the room and allowed herself in first and the door wide open. The boy inside had chocolate brown hair and brown eyes, along with a scar across his forehead. He immediately rolled over into the darkeness and inched like a caterpillar due to his straitjacket into the opposite corner. Dr. Kadowaki looked at him, still standing in the light.

"Squall, you're going to have to get over some of your fears for right now. Stand up and step into the light, despite how much you hate yourself for it," she said.

Squall shook his head. [Communication=BAD!!!] he thought in his mind.

Dr. Kadowaki put her hands on her hips. "Come [on] Squall. I won't hurt you, I promise. Truly!"

Squall considered it. [Why all of the sudden? Why not before? What does she want from me?!] You're going to have to get over some of your fears right now. . . . [Okay, fine. But just for a few seconds.]

He stood up, with his back against the cushioned wall, and walked toward Dr. Kadowaki's outstretched hand, his eyes cautious.

"There you go. That's good. Now, can you say your name for me?"

[THIS WASN'T IN THE JOB DESCRIPTION!!!!!!!!!!! YOU DIDN'T MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT ACTUALLY saying SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!]

Squall shook his head again. His "I-Hate-Myself" meter was about breaking its limits.

"Squall. Please. Just once."

[I'll do it, but I'll regret it. . . .] He opened his mouth and tried to say something, but his vocal chords wouldn't move. He tried again, trying really hard to make his voice work. How long had it been? 4 years? 5 years? His eyes were clamped shut out of trying to make a sound. He eventually came out with, in a faint, raspy voice: "Choos."

" 'Chews?'" Dr. Kadowaki asked.

"I think he wants juice," the girl said from the doorway. Squall nodded.

"Choos." [ No more for me! SUCKERS! Hahaha! Now you'll have to let me out of this thing! Because YOUUU want me to drink the juice!! HA! ]

"What kind?"

Squall's inner face expression changed from gloating to horrified. [ There's-more-than-one-kind-of-juice-??? Hmm. . . .] "Strahbry choos."

"Strawberry it is!" the girl said, and handed Dr. Kadowaki a bottle of translucent scarlet juice.

"Now, I'm not going to touch you, I'm only going to get you out of these restraints, all right?" the doctor said, walking behind a nervous Squall. With one hand she undid the knots that held Squall's arms behind his back. Then, walking back around front she handed him the bottle of juice. He just handed it back to her. She opened it and gave it back to him. He drank it all in one gulp, his mouth feeling very refreshed indeed.

"Now, can you say your name for me?" Dr. Kadowaki asked.

"Peh." His answer was quick and precise, not making any use of his newly- hydrated voice.

"Peh?"

"Peh."

"Peh!" the girl said, her face lit up with comprehension.

"Peh." Squall looked at her and smiled.

"Peh!"

"Peh!" Squall nodded, and the girl nodded back. He liked her.

"Okay, umm. . .Peh, can you come out of here and meet this girl for me?" the doctor asked. Squall followed her out of the room and into the light for the first time in a while. His eyes were already accustomed to it from the bit that the doctor had been in. The woman outside was very pretty. She had strawberry blond hair that was pulled up into a small ponytail at the back of her head, but let her bangs fall down on either side of her face. She was dressed in a pink shirt with khaki pants and white sneakers that were so clean they seemed to glow; A large contrast from Squall's pure white clothes and bare feet. "This is," Dr. Kadowaki started.

"Quistis Trepe," the girl in pink finished. "And you're Peh, right?"

"S-" he paused for a moment, trying to remember his name. "S-Squa-all Lee- Lee-Leonh-h-hart-t."

"Nice to meet you, Squall Leonhart," Quistis said.

"Wh-wh-wha-y a-a-re y-you he-re, Quis-Ehpay?"

"I'm going to help you, is that okay, Squall?" Quistis smiled, and Squall nodded. "Okay then, let's get you cleaned up, shall we?"

"N-N-No!" Squall exclaimed. "H-hy-dro-phobee-a."

"I said that you would have to get over some of your fears, Squall. You're going to have to get over your fear of water and your fear of soap. Sorry," Dr. Kadowaki said.

Squall sighed. "Ah-ah-all r-r-right." He followed one of the attendants down the hallway and to an elevator, where the attendant tried to lead him in. "Wh-what bout Quis-Pay?"

"I'll be along in a second, Squall!" Quistis called and waved to him. Squall allowed himself to be led into the elevator ([Stupid, STUPID Squall!]) and out of Quistis's sight.

Dr. Kadowaki sighed as she shut the door to Squall's room and locked it. "You still up for it?"

"I'm not afraid of the challenge. Besides, he seems like he trusts me. He wouldn't hurt me."

"You're right. Well, I'm off. Call me if you need anything." The doctor gave Quistis a card and walked off, calling out: "[No] Zell, that is [not] food!" and Zell returning the answer of: "It looks like a hot dog, though!"