A/N: So, I finally finished that Koteshi/Izumo . . . or
Kotetsu/Izumo, or whatever the hell you wanna call it . . . and
I posted it . . . and then I looked at the little comments
people left me on LJ and OH MY GOD IT IS NOT FAIR. *spastic
Okay, so, explanation: vetlutlunas reviewed it. Which is yay-
happy, because I like vetlutlunas's writing and it makes me feel
good to get positive feedback from people whose altars I worship
at. But is also NOT yay-happy, because she said if I wrote more
of the pairing, she'd write me smut. And anyone who does not
understand how impossible it is to refuse such an offer has
never read vetlutlunas's lemons and must go do so NOW rather
than suffer through my over-emotional shit.
Right then. Koteshi/Izumo-ness and some of those freaky
parallel paragraphs that I like so much. ^_^ It works on
basically the same backstory I established for them in my last
installment of ficcage for them, but isn't really any kind of
sequel or prequel, just a vaguely related drabblebeast. I just
needed characterization for them, and mine is the only version I
have to go on, so: same continuity.
Koteshi does not believe that there is such a thing as falling
in love twice. He thinks, "okay, this is the person that I love
and I'm gonna love them forever." And that's it. Maybe he'd
fuck around with someone else or marry someone else, but that
doesn't mean he'll love anyone but that original person.
Izumo does not believe that there is really any such thing as
love. He thinks, "okay, this person tolerates me and I can
tolerate them too, so we may as well hang out for now." And
that's it. Maybe he'd be faithful to that person or even marry
that person, but that doesn't mean that he'll ever love that
Koteshi imagines that the person he is will never change.
Izumo imagines that the person he is will never be stable.
The first time Koteshi remembers meeting Izumo was at an
uncertain time in their past. He remembers a quiet kid with a
calm expression tossing kunai after kunai into a target, looking
bored out of his mind behind the façade.
The first time Izumo remembers meeting Koteshi was not actually
the first time they met. He remembers an overly loud kid with a
wild, friendly grin holding out a hand to him, looking slightly
frightened behind the façade.
Koteshi had said hi. The kid had never answered, but they'd
somehow ended up on surprisingly amicable speaking terms by the
end of the day.
Izumo had asked him who he was. The kid had visibly flinched,
but they'd somehow ended up living in the same apartment by the
end of the day.
Koteshi's first memories of Izumo are something that no one else
in the world knows about, not even Izumo. Because Izumo doesn't
remember anything before "that incident." And he doubts that
Izumo would really want to, honestly.
Izumo's first memories of Koteshi are fragmented and he never
talks about them, not even with Koteshi. Because he remembers
that Koteshi knew more about him than he did. And he doesn't
want to know what Koteshi knows.
Koteshi, frankly, knows more about Izumo than anyone. He is one
of the only people that remembers Izumo's past even vaguely
(because nobody talks about it nobody mentions it it's all so
tragic that poor poor boy) and no one spends more time with him
Izumo, frankly, knows nothing about himself. He is one of the
only people he knows who is like this (because everyone else
seems to GET it seems to understand seems to be so together so
competent and so goddamned normal that it hurts) and is afraid
he always will be.
One of the things that never changes is the way that Koteshi
feels for Izumo.
One of the things that Izumo is terrified will change is how he
feels for Koteshi.
So right now, Koteshi takes everything slow and lazy, smirking
and laughing and teasing and going around and around. He has
faith in this feeling and knows that it will stay.
So right now, Izumo wishes Koteshi would take everything faster,
would stop stalling and do what Izumo himself is too afraid to
do. He has no faith in his ability to start it.
Their hands thread together once, briefly, and Koteshi is
surprised because despite the fact that they are always
together, they have almost never touched.
Their hands thread together once, briefly, and Izumo is shocked
that he has managed to take this step because he has never been
that forward in his life.
Sometimes, Koteshi thinks that the person he is going to love
forever is never going to come along. Then he looks at Izumo
and wonders if he is wrong about that idea.
Sometimes, Izumo wonders if there really is such a thing as
love. Then he looks at Koteshi and realizes that there must be,
or else neither of them would be here anymore.
And sometimes, when Izumo is looking at him and has that
uncertain expression in his eyes, Koteshi wants to touch him a
lot more than just holding his hand. Sometimes he thinks about
just jumping Izumo and dragging him to bed and tiring him out so
thoroughly that not even Izumo's terminal insomnia could keep
him awake afterwards. But then he realizes what he's just
thought and has to hide his face so no one will see him
And sometimes, when Koteshi is looking at him and has that
hungry expression in his eyes, Izumo wants the other to just
reach out and grab him. Sometimes he thinks about throwing
himself at Koteshi and yelling, "Take me now, you indecisive
asshole!" But then he realizes what he's just thought and
smacks himself in the face to get a bit of sanity back in his
life- not that he's had any since meeting Koteshi, which is all
So if Koteshi occasionally lingers a bit too closely to Izumo,
then that is all right.
So if Izumo occasionally stares at Koteshi for a little too
long, then that is all right.
Koteshi remembers the first day he met this person. It was
sunny and calm and overall, a good day.
Izumo does not remember the first day he met this person. But
he's used to such inconveniences.
Memories aside, though, it is the future that Koteshi is
thinking of right now.
Memories or not, Izumo only wants to be with this person for the
rest of his life.
So maybe he's already in love after all.
So maybe he believes in love after all.
Maybe . . .
Definitely . . .
* fin *
. : the other half of my soul is yours : .