A/N: Another one for riskygamble, now that we've done the Team
7 luv-luv (though I'm still not sure if she ever saw that one
^_^;;). I've been trying to get Jounouchi to come out and play
for AGES. But he's not been cooperative, so I had to bring in
Seto to keep the puppy in line. Bad Jounouchi. *whip cracks*
Kind of a parody. Kind of J/S.
"Hard Day's Night"
About three seconds ago, Jounouchi woke up with his arms chained
to a bike rack by, inventively enough, a bike chain and a bike
lock. This isn't actually all that unusual for him- he's still
got a lot of leftover enemies from his days with the gang, and
with friends like Yuugi Mutou he's woken up in weirder places-
but it's definitely the first time Seto Kaiba's ever been
chained up next to him.
"Um?" he manages groggily. "What the fuck is this?"
"Hell if I know, mutt," Kaiba growls under his breath, jerking
his head to indicate a direction and adding, "Why don't you ask
the thugs over there pretending to be gangsters?"
It takes Jounouchi all of thirty seconds to recognize said thugs
as four of the nastier members of one of the many gangs he's
beaten the shit out of over the years. Several times, actually-
once or twice for Yuugi, once or twice with Honda, and countless
more back in his own days as a badass.
Nope, this is not a good thing.
Okay, recap: woke up, went to school, got in a fight with Kaiba,
and got kicked out of class. Went out to go home, bitching back
and forth the whole way, and then: whoa, bike rack and chains.
Oh wait, there'd been a bit in there where someone had stepped
out of an alleyway behind them and swung a torque wrench at his
head. Yeah, that bit had sucked.
. . . of course, this bit ain't exactly a walk in the park
Especially not since it seems the thugs have noticed he's awake.
"Hey, Jounouchi," the leader greets him with a sneer. "Miss
"So they're friends of yours then, puppy?" Kaiba asks dryly. "I
should have known."
"Aw, shaddup," Jounouchi grumbles, and then redirects his
attention to the leader. "Whaddaya want, asshole?" he demands
sourly. "I ain't been botherin' you."
"Is proper grammar REALLY that difficult a concept for you to
grasp?" Kaiba muses aloud. Jounouchi elbows him in the stomach.
"Hey!" he hisses. "This is my turf, okay? When we need to buy
stock I'll consult you!"
"Actually," Kaiba replies coolly, returning the elbow with a
good deal more efficiency and a great deal more force, "my
company's stock is quite lucrative right now and as always an
excellent long-term investment- although I doubt you could
"I am NOT havin' this conversation right now!" Jounouchi
wheezes, glaring at him.
"Pay attention, Jounouchi!" the leader snaps, kicking Jounouchi
right where Kaiba elbowed him. There is an audible crack.
Kaiba's eyes darken and he turns his glare on the other.
"Hey," he says to Jounouchi as the other coughs and tries to
recover his senses. "Not to damage your fragile puppy pride or
anything, but if you aren't going to do anything-" Jounouchi's
leg lashes out and sweeps the leader's feet out from beneath
him, dropping the thug face-first into the bike rack and
knocking him out.
"Who's not doin' nothin'?" he grumbles as the other three thugs
run over with angry yells, kicking one between the legs. Then
he repeats the same leg sweep he'd used before to trip up the
next and knock him right back into the third. "Idiots."
After a few more kicks and some desperate scrambling, all three
are as unconscious as their leader and Kaiba is exasperated.
"You do realize," he inquires coolly, "that by knocking out ALL
of them you have deprived us of the key to this irritating
little thing?" He indicates the bike lock with a tilt of his
"Again, shut up," Jounouchi mutters, already pulling his legs
under himself. "Shit, this is gonna hurt," he adds under his
breath, and then flips himself up onto the top of the rack,
straddling his own arms and grimacing at the uncomfortable bend
the position leaves his back in, not to mention the way it
twists his cracked ribs. "Kaiba, do me a favor: grab that
little pouch outta my sock?" he asks breathlessly as he pulls a
leg up onto the bar next to the other's chained wrists.
"With what, my teeth?" Kaiba asks dryly.
"Do you WANT to be stuck here all night?" Jounouchi snarls. His
ribs are throbbing and he doesn't want to put up with this shit
from anyone, much less Seto Kaiba. "You know, as in with me?
'Cause if ya do, you can keep bitchin'."
"You do have a point," Kaiba grudgingly admits, twisting his
closest hand awkwardly and slipping his fingers into the other's
sock, briefly fishing until they find the aforementioned pouch.
Neither he nor Jounouchi look at each other's faces during any
of this. Kaiba snaps the pouch open and raises an eyebrow.
"Yes, they're what ya think they are," Jounouchi says irritably.
"Lockpicks," Kaiba scoffs, tossing them to Jounouchi.
Fortunately, his aim is perfect. "Of course."
"We get into some weird scrapes, okay?" Jounouchi snaps.
"Plus I'm sure these come in handy for breaking and entering and
other such petty thefts as you can get up the guts to commit,"
Kaiba continues for him.
"Shut UP," Jounouchi says for the third time, coming up with a
fistful of chains and the defeated lock. "I ain't like that no
"Of course," Kaiba replies in perfect condescension, massaging
life back into his wrists and standing up again. He is careful
to trod on the thug's backs as he walks away from the rack.
"Now hurry up. I heard your ribs crack and I'd hate to have to
explain to Yuugi's other half why I left you in this condition."
"No you wouldn't, you'd ENJOY it," Jounouchi accuses.
"Perhaps." And Kaiba smirks, because he would. Then he yanks
Jounouchi off the rack and pulls the other's arm over his
shoulder. "You'd damn well better be able to walk, mutt."
"Sure you're strong enough to carry me?" Jounouchi shoots back.
"You're so damn scrawny that I could carry you under one arm,"
"Do you EVER shut up?!" Jounouchi fumes.
"Look who's talking, pup," Kaiba retorts dryly, rolling his
eyes. "And being kidnapped- for the third time this month,
might I add- is not my ideal way to spend an evening."
"Gee, sorry, Princess," Jounouchi grumbles as they finally
manage to start limping along together. "Next time I'll take
you to a movie."
"Cheap," Kaiba sneers. "Then again, this is you we're talking
about, so I suppose your date's lucky that you're not planning a
trip to the arcade."
"Hey, you like video games!" Jounouchi protests.
"And how many young women do you know with similar tastes to
mine, pray tell?" Kaiba drawls.
"About the same amount of chicks I know who'd date me,"
Jounouchi says sourly.
"Who says my tastes include you?" Kaiba snaps.
"I dunno, the defensive tone in your voice when you deny it?"
the other suggests with a snort.
"Fuck you, puppy."
"I don't go in for that kinky shit, Kaiba."
* ende *
. : if i'm a dog, then you's mah BITCH : .