Christina Baldwin

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It's strange to be with him, because it makes her realize how much she's changed, since everything started, and ended. She never would have been with him, hugging him, kissing him, in first year, or second, even, and not just because she wasn't quite ready for a boyfriend, despite what she told Lavender. Nor would she have gone out with him in third year, or fourth, or even... well, it doesn't matter now, does it? So many years have past, and does it matter if the "big change" was in fifth or sixth year? Was there even a "big change"? She can't pinpoint it; it happened slowly, over the years, not with a big bang. A band, like- but she really shouldn't think about it, not now. She should be asleep, and her eyes are shut hard because she doesn't want him to know she's still awake, though she hopes he won't stop tracing patterns on her back just because he thinks she's asleep.

She's so tired, her body is aching from the pain of it. She's tired of everything, tired of war, tired of fear. She's so tired she wishes she could go to sleep, but she realizes how silly it would be to wish for something like that, when there were so many other things to wish for... she's wish for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to be defeated, she's wish for the war to be over, for those killed to be back alive (though she knows she shouldn't wish for that...well, if only she could turn back time...), she'd wish she could take Neville's pain away, kiss away his fear and take off the burden off his heart... There's something he keeps meaning to tell her, she knows, but he always stops himself. Something about his family, she gathered, but she'll wait until he's ready to tell her. She'll wait for all the time they have.

He's a fighter, sort of, and she isn't, really. He's faced Death Eaters and he's gotten hurt and he will get hurt, and she wants to fight, too, but she doesn't know where when how to start, and he says she does enough, but she doesn't, she inever/i can, not when people are out there getting killed and getting hurt...

She throws tantrums, sometimes, which would make her blush, perhaps, if she wasn't so occupied with other things. She hasn't thrown tantrums since she was three, and now, so much older... He hugs her tight while she beats her fists against his back, cursing him and the world, and he whispers in her ear and weaves his thin fingers in her thick hair and she remembers "breathe breathe" and then she does and when she pulls away she smiles awkwardly and says, "Sorry," and he smiles that fantastic smile, and lies down on the bed and she rests her head on his chest and he starts tracing patterns on her back and she pretends to be asleep, wishing that he'd never stop.

She's changed so much since she was younger, and she's lost so much; her carefree smile, her innocence, giggling with Lavender about boys and clothes and what the future will hold. She's lost hope and she's lost faith and she's lost friends and she nearly lost a finger.

She found something, though. She found the most beautiful someone, so perfect for her, it was as if their bodies were created as a part of a puzzle, meant to fit together. And she knows, she iknows/i that she wouldn't change a thing.