I love him. With all my soul. Most will say it's Logan I love, but they don't know. No one knew, and now they never will. I'm sorry it had to happen like this, really I am, but I can't keep going, knowing that there isn't a chance. I know that he is going to blame himself for this, that he will say he wasn't sensitive enough to my feelings, or some bull. But That's not it. He was as gentle as he could have been. But it couldn't change the fact that he doesn't love me. Because he only has eyes for red hair and green eyes, just like every other guy here. Logan, the professor, he is the one engaged to her, so it's not like I'm anything except an uncomfortable reminder that the world isn't perfect, and that he can't fix everything, and help every mutant.

It's just that hurt so bad. I had to stop the pain. I *had* to. God, it was worse then anything Logan, Eric or I ever experienced. Because it was coming from inside me, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't stop. So I did the one thing Logan never could. And now the white tile bathroom floors are a crimson red, and I can't stop crying. Heavy sobs keep coming, even though I know I have to keep quiet, or else Logan'll here me. And make me better.

Oh, god, Scott, I love you. With all my heart and soul. I love your control, and how you manage to look into my soul, even though your eyes are never bare. I want you, and I need you to live. Which is why I'm dying. Because I need you, and I can have you.

Please never forget me.