Colleen sat quietly at her canon console, watching the flashy lights and hearing the steady hum. It had been days since her and her partner, Twitch, had gotten a summons into the canon, and they were both getting antsy. One could take this as a good thing- no calls meant no bad fan fiction was posted lately. That was always a plus. But they both needed something to do.

Colleen gave up with the monitors and spun a few times in her swivel chair before flipping on the stereo. The sound might keep her from losing her mind.

Soon enough, the sounds of The Mars Volta was blasting through the cramped office. She turned back to the board. "So Jeremiah... Anything new and exciting on that half of the room?" she addressed the Boston fern to her left.

Jeremiah just stared at her expectantly.

"Fine. Be that way." She instead turned to Twitch... or Twitch’s empty chair at any rate. "Alright... the whole world is against me today." Colleen did a quick preliminary check of the room. No one except herself and Jeremiah. "Twitch?" she called. Colleen heard a faint tapping in lieu of a response. "Ah! Twitch! Did someone bury under the floorboards?" It seemed reasonable. That had happened more than once around here.

The answer was simply louder tapping.

Colleen figured it meant no. She guessed again. "Um, did Jeremiah swallow you up?"

A loud metallic tapping. A clue! Colleen searched the office for something metal that her friend could be banging up against.

"The cabinet!" Colleen was really quite proud of herself.

There was a short silence, then a funny thud- much like someone hitting their head against the inside of a metal storage cabinet.

Figuring that was a pretty good indication to the location of her partner, Colleen unlocked the doors to the tall weapons storage cabinet. She then jumped back as the doors flew open violently.

"Dammit! I’ve been in there for days!" Twitch said indignantly, smoothing out her wrinkled clothes. She had torn up bits of ammunition boxes in her hair and caltrops stuck in the soles of her boots.

"So, you’re finally coming out of the closet then, eh Twitch?" Colleen joked. Not funny, but Colleen hoped the thought of humour would makes Twitch less murderous. When you had a partner named ‘Twitch’, you always had to be careful.

Not picking up on the joke, Twitch glared. "Yeah! You damn idiot! I nearly got mummified in there!" As Colleen began to laugh, she realized what she had been talking about. "Oh, shut-up."

Over the music on the stereo, the little alarm bell could be heard when it started chiming on the desk. The red lights started to swirl.

Rushing to the console, Twitch swore under her breath. She had just gotten a breath of fresh air and suddenly it was time to rush off and get back to work. Never any time to herself. "At least it doesn’t look so bad for us."

"What’s not so bad for us?" Colleen asked, flicking off the stereo and snatching the charge book up from the desk. Colleen was ultimately dedicated to her job. Any problem in canon was as bad as anything. It was her overzealousness that had got her booted down to the basement office she resided in now. Apparently, Colleen frightened the visitors.

"Just a basic rampant original female character displaying many characteristics of a Mary-Sue. Nothing too serious. Oh- wait. She’s the sister of a canon character. I hate those ones." Twitch sighed and turned to the cabinets. “Watch my back this time, okay?”

Colleen shrugged. "Oh well. You’re the boss. Oh, wait. No. No you’re not."

Twitch stuck out her tongue. "Let’s mount up."

Colleen joined her at the cabinet and they began to choose weapons. Twitch stuck with her normal silver sporks- great for killing original characters and werewolves, but Colleen hesitated. There were so many fun things to choose from.

"Hurry up!" Twitch whined. "They’re messing up the canon!" Twitch danced back and forth form foot to foot.

"Alright," Colleen sighed. "Old standby then..." She picked out a slingshot and a wide variety of sharp metal bits for ammunition.

"Wow, Coll, you might be turning into a Mary Sue with that baby."

Colleen looked scandalized. "How dare you?! You know it took me six months to learn how to hold one of these bad boys, and besides- my aims worse than yours."

"Nothings worse than my aim. Remember the March first/elephant incident?"

Colleen grinned. "Yah. That little guy jumped about sixteen feet in the air. And that’s pretty good considering that elephants don’t have knees, and therefore can’t physically jump. I guess they made a special exception just for your horrible aim."

Twitch considered this for a moment. "I guess you’re right- though it pains me to admit it. Now let’s go!"

"Already there, ma amie." Colleen tapped the button that opened a wormhole into the Words.

"Next stop- New York City!" Twitch said, following Colleen through with a quick nod to Jeremiah.

As the wormhole snapped shut behind them, Jeremiah shook his leaves. "They’re such dorks. I need new friends..."

end part one

My, my, first things first. This concept definitely is not ours. I got permission to start a PPC branch from Miss Cam, so please no jumping to conclusions about that. Secondly, we mean absolutely no offense to anyone whose stories may be featured in upcoming chapters. This should be taken with a grain of salt as we are all responsible for bad writing at one time or another. This story pokes fun, but doesn’t intend to hurt.

We need good, kind souls like you to report any stories you think need a little help. So be on the lookout.

Thanks,

‘Crisis and Twitch