I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there.

Herb Caen

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The grass was a bit moist, but she sat on it still, leaning against the tree, squinting out at the lake, trying to see the Giant Squid. She shivered in the cold night air, and he put his arm around her, trying to warm her up. That's when she realized what was happening, and why. It all hit her at once, all because she ifelt/i his arm around her- it didn't feel natural, it felt awkward and uncomfortable, and she knew that she'd never feel his arm around her again.

So she decided to speak. "This is it, then?"

It took him a moment to answer, and she felt a sting of annoyance. Then she felt guilty. iI love him! I'm not supposed to feel this way! This isn't supposed to happen!/i

"I suppose it is."

She wasn't sure what to say, so she said nothing. She looked at him, the way his hair fell on to his forehead, just nearly reacting his eyes. She remembered the days when she just couldn't stop herself from reaching over and running her hands through his hair. It seemed impossible to look at him without touching him in some way- his hair, his lips, his cheeks... And it was making her sad, looking at him and not having to touch him, and remembring how great it used to feel, so she looked away.

"Do you think- I mean, will we stay friends, or..."

Lavender wanted to exlaim, "of course we'll stay friends!" But she wasn't sure. Especaily when at that moment she couldn't think of a single thing to tell him. She tried in vain to remember what they used to talk about for hours, huddled close together in front of the Common Room fire, or spending sunny afternoons near the lake. She didn't quite know what to say, but she heard "I hope so" come out her mouth.

"I hope so, too," she thought she heard him say. But she wasn't sure; the wind was getting rather loud. Her hair was flying in all directions, and she tried to fix it. He used to tease her about things like this, but nothing came. She know he wouldn't, not for a long time, maybe not ever.

"It's late," he finally said.

She nodded, even though he probably could not see. It would be okay, she knew. That nod assured her of it.

He stodd up, brushed grass off his robe, then held out her hand for her to take. He helped her up, and they walked back to the castle in silence.