A Mother's Tale by Alex Tomas

This is my first work of fan fiction. Reviews welcome.

Disclaimer:

I do not own the Ranma characters.

Conventions:

“Conversations in Japanese are enclosed between quotation marks.”

Conversations in a foreign language like Chinese and English are enclosed between curly brackets.

Sound effects are enclosed between square brackets.

Thoughts are in italics

Signs are enclosed between equal signs.

Emphasis are in bold.

ooOOoo

Summary:

This happens after season 7 episode 143, Ranma Meets Mother Boy Meets Mom, Part I in the television series or volume 22 chapter 2 of the manga. It takes elements from both the anime and the manga.

Ranma's mother, Nodoka Saotome, on her way for the first time to the Tendo Dojo sees male-type Ranma fall into the storm drain and transform into girl-type Ranma. Ranma stutters some excuse but Nodoka waves it off as she is in a hurry and proceeds to the the Tendo Dojo without giving out each other's names.

I am assuming that Nodoka does not know the Tendos and has no knowledge of the honor contract Genma and Soun entered into to unite their two families. My reason is that if Genma informed her then she would know the Tendos and vice-versa.

ooOOoo

Chapter 5: I Saw Mommy Kissing...

ooOOoo

An hour and thirty minutes have passed since Ranma fled for his life from the Tendou Dojo and the girls finally decided they had enough practice riding their new motorcycle. They pushed the big Kawasaki behind the Dojo as the Tendou sisters did not want their father and Mr. Saotome to know about it yet.

“So, Nabiki, when will we have this little lecture of yours?” Ukyou asked the middle sister.

“Give me a little time to set up things in the living room and we can start right after dinner.”

“Oh, my!” Kasumi was genuinely distressed as she cupped her right cheek in her right hand. “In all the excitement I forgot to make dinner!” She began to hurry to her domain when she remembered something. “Oh, dear. Where are my manners?” She turned towards their two guests. “Won't you stay for dinner, Shampoo? Ukyo?”

“Thanks for the offer, Kasumi, but it's okay. I should get back to the Nekohanten before great-grandmother begins to worry. I can come back later after dinner.”

Ukyou nodded her agreement. “Yeah, me, too. We don't want to bother you too much.”

“Oh.” Kasumi was disappointed. They were having so much fun together. “It's no bother, really. And since daddy, Uncle Genma and Ranma are not here, we have more than enough food for five girls.”

Shampoo and Ukyou flinched in guilt at the disappointment that passed over the oldest Tendou. They saw Nabiki and Akane nod their heads frantically behind their sister. There was just something wrong with the world when the always cheerful Kasumi became sad.

“Um, I guess if it's all right with you guys, I'll stay then.” Ukyou relented first. Besides, eating alone in her restaurant never appealed to her. She smiled at the obvious delight that showed on Kasumi's face. “But only if you let me help in the kitchen.”

With four of her rivals staying together Shampoo caved in also. “Um, same with me. I'll stay but only if you let me help in the kitchen.”

“Of course!” Kasumi clapped her hands and radiated happiness rays at near maximum intensity making the four other girls feel very good about themselves. Silly smiles appeared on their faces and they began making peace signs like hippies smoking grass. Shampoo was about to whip out a guitar from somewhere when Kasumi started towards the kitchen again, breaking the spell. “I'm sure we'll have lots of fun together!”

Akane, Nabiki, Shampoo and Ukyou blinked. They looked at each other and quickly pulled back their hands still making the 'victory' sign. After shaking their heads Shampoo and Ukyou followed Kasumi into the house.

Man, if I could bottle that stuff Kasumi puts out I'd be rich! Filthy rich! Nabiki thought before she too began walking towards the kitchen. She was sure no chemical anti-depressant currently on the market could match the effects.

The youngest Tendou was feeling a little left out. It's not fair! I know how to cook also! Well, sort of. She admitted to herself. But how am I going to get better if I don't practice or no one teaches me? She quickly jogged to catch up with her oldest sister. “Hey, Kasumi! Can I help in the kitchen, too? Please?”

The question made the four other girls stop dead in their tracks. The smile on Kasumi's face wavered just a little while panicked looks appeared on the faces of Nabiki, Shampoo and Ukyou.

Kasumi dearly loved her youngest sister but every time Akane worked in the kitchen it was as if a typhoon had gone through it. Nevertheless, how could she turn down such an earnest desire to help? It would devastate her youngest sister if she refused. She turned to Akane, the smile back on full. “Of course, Akane. You can help, too.”

Kasumi continued on towards the kitchen with Akane happily skipping along at her side, leaving behind the three other girls still frozen in place, the looks of panic replaced by absolute horror.

“Um, I think I left the grill on in my shop!” Ukyou quickly turned to make a break for it. “Tell Kasumi I'm sorry I couldn't stay for dinner but I'll be back after! See ya!”

“Aiyah! I think I can hear great-grandmother calling for help!” Shampoo was as brave as anyone when it came to a fight but Akane's cooking was another matter entirely. If it could bring down someone as tough as her Airen... she shuddered.

The two were about to run off when a hand gripped one of their arms. They turned to see Nabiki with a frenzied look on her face.

“What are you doing?” Ukyou hissed. “Let me go! I'm not crazy enough to try Akane's cooking!”

“Ukyou's right! Only persons with death wish will want to stay to eat Akane's cooking!”

The two struggled to free their arms but the middle Tendou's death grip held on with a strength none of them knew she possessed.

“That's right!” Nabiki hissed back. “And I don't have a death wish.” Personally, she would have preferred to join the two in their escape but she couldn't leave Kasumi behind to face Akane's cooking alone. Her poor dear sister wouldn't survive the ordeal. The guilt would kill Nabiki just as surely as Akane's cooking. “So you two are going to help me keep an eye on Akane while she tries to cook to make sure she doesn't get too creative!” When Shampoo and Ukyou didn't stop struggling and continued to drag her with them, she dug in her heels and played her last card. “Look, I can't teach you two how to get Ranma to kiss you if I'm hospitalized or worse, dead!”

The Amazon and Chef stopped struggling when they heard that. After a few moments the two sighed in defeat. For Ranma they would face any challenge, no matter how horrible.

“Your plan better work! This is more than we bargained for!” Ukyou said through clenched teeth.

“I'm sure it'll work or your money back!” Nabiki replied with some desperation. She never gave money-back guarantees before. “Now are you two going to help me or not?”

Slowly, like death convicts walking to their execution, the two nodded their heads.

“Good!” Nabiki let go of their arms. “Now let's get in there before it's too late!”

With that, the three girls quickly trotted off to prevent the disaster in the making.

ooOOoo

“Ranma?” Nodoka asked as soon as her son returned from getting something to drink from the refrigerator. She had just gotten off the telephone after speaking first with Kasumi then Nabiki. Mother and son were taking a break from the story telling of the training journey.

“Yeah, mom?” Ranma asked as he walked back to his place opposite his mom across the low table holding a soda can. He took a sip just as he sat down.

Nodoka waited until her son was in the act of swallowing a mouthful before continuing. “I just spoke with Kasumi and Nabiki on the telephone. Do you have something you want to discuss with me?” As she expected, Ranma immediately choked on his drink. Always the best way to know the truth. She grinned inside. “I take that as a yes, Ranma.”

It took several seconds for Ranma to recover from almost drowning on a carbonated drink. He pinched his nose as he tried to clear it of the liquid. He knew the sting in his nose would last for a couple of hours. He tried to act innocent. “I, I don't know what you mean, mom.”

Nodoka patiently waited until her son caved.

“Um, well, I had a little accident.” It was true.

“What kind of accident? Was it painful?” Nodoka asked with a straight face. If her son wasn't going to be forthcoming with the details she might as well have fun needling him.

Ranma blushed. “Well, uh, not 'xactly.”

“What do you mean by 'not xactly'? And why are you blushing?”

“It's a little hard to explain.”

“We have all night.”

Ranma groaned. Guess mom ain't gonna let me off the hook. Might as well get it over with. “I, uh, sorta accidentally kissed Nabiki on the lips.” He mumbled as quietly as possible.

“What was that, son. I couldn't hear you very well.”

The teen-aged boy groaned louder. “I said I accidentally kissed Nabiki on the lips, mom.” There I said it.

Nodoka gasped in mock shock and raised her right hand to cover her mouth. She smiled behind the hand. “You kissed some girl other than one of your three fiancées?! On the lips?!”

She shifted her hand so that the back was touching her forehead while tilting her head. “Oh, the horror! The shame! Are three nice, talented, beautiful, sexy and, might I add, very willing fiancées not enough for my very, very manly son that he would seek pleasure in the arms of another woman?!” A snicker she could not fully suppress escaped her lips.

“Mom, cut it out! It's not funny!” The studly boy in trouble groaned out with some annoyance. He blinked. “Uh, sorry about that, mom. Didn't mean to be rude at ya. It's just that Akane, Shampoo and Ucchan are gonna kill me once they get their hands on me tomorrow.”

Nodoka sat up once again, a shadow of a smile still on her lips. “Why would they do that, Ranma. They seem such sweet girls.”

If Ranma knew about diabetes he probably would have used that to describe the 'sweetness' of his fiancées. Yeah, so sweet it's gonna kill ya.

“Come now, Ranma, from the way Kasumi and Nabiki described what happened to me, the kiss was completely an accident.”

“Mom, if it was only the kiss they'd probably only beat me up some but I...” Ranma blinked. Whoops. I almost said I enjoyed the kiss. He took another gulp of his drink to calm himself.

“But you what, son? Enjoyed the kiss so much you forgot everything else?”

Sssppprrrttt!!

Nodoka adroitly avoided the spray of soda from her son's mouth by leaning to one side without even moving from where she sat. She idly dabbed the table before it stained from the soda with her hankerchief.

“How, how d'ya know that, mom?!”

“Well, Nabiki said that was how your three fiancées described your reaction to the kiss. Did you enjoy the kiss, Ranma?” She finished dabbing and placed her wet hankerchief to one side.

“No!” He wilted under his mother's gaze. “Well, yeah, mebbe a little, I guess.” He groaned louder. “So now ya know why they're gonna kill me, very slowly and painfully I might add, tomorrow for sure!” Ranma grabbed his mother's hands across the table. “Mom, ya gotta help me fix this!” He begged.

“Of course, Ranma. It's really very simple.”

“Really, mom?” Hope springs eternal.

“Yes. All you have to do is apologize properly to the girls.”

“Why should I apologize for the kiss? It wasn't my fault!”

My son, my son. You still have so much to learn about women. Well, actually, all men still have a lot to learn about women. And women about men. Nodoka shook her head. That was a thought for some other time.

“Maybe not for accidentally kissing Nabiki but for not kissing them.”

“Uh, I don't get what ya mean, mom.”

“Ranma, how would you react it if one of your fiancées accidentally kissed a handsome boy and seemed to enjoy it?”

“Um, not very well I s'pose.”

“And why not?”

“I...” I couldn't be jealous, right?

“Would be jealous?”

“What?! Me?! Jealous?! Hah! Ya gotta be kidding, mom! Why would I be jealous over a buncha tomboys?!”

“Come now, Ranma. You don't have to hide anything from me. I'm here to help you but how will I do that if you don't tell me the truth?”

“Um, well, I s'pose a little.”

“That wasn't very hard to admit, was it? Now why would you be jealous?”

“'Cos if I can't kiss another girl they shouldn't either!”

“They shouldn't kiss another girl? Well, I certainly hope not.”

Ranma blinked then reddened. “I meant they shouldn't kiss another guy!”

Nodoka suppressed her smile. “Why shouldn't they kiss another guy? And why shouldn't you kiss another girl?”

“It ain't right 'cos I'm their fiancé and they're my fiancées! And I...” Confusion came over his face. I can't stand the thought of them kissing another guy. What's wrong with me? Why am I feeling so possessive of them all of a sudden?

“Is that all there is to it, Ranma? Is it only because they're your fiancées and you're their fiancé?”

Nodoka smiled at her son when he didn't answer. “Perhaps it's time you admitted, if only to yourself, how much they mean to you, my son. Much better if you showed the girls how important they are to you, Ranma. If they knew how important they are to you and you to them, these kind of jealous reactions in your relationship would be minimized.”

“I guess so, mom. Mom?

“Yes, son?”

“D'ya... d'ya really think they like me that way? I mean, mebbe they just fight over me 'cos they can't stand losing to someone else or 'cos of the stupid engagements or, or...” He sighed “I just don't want them to like me just because of some stupid engagement or law or something.”

Nodoka smiled. It's about time he began to speak about his emotions. It seemed despite his abundant confidence (or ego as some would say) her son still had some insecurities. Perhaps that is why he is having trouble expressing what he feels towards the girls. I do get the feeling he is still a scared little boy emotionally at times. She squeezed his hands reassuringly. “Why do you think that, Ranma?”

“Com'on, mom! What do I have that girls would want? I'm just a martial artist. The best but still... I don't see anything that I have any girl would want much less fight over. All I have is my martial arts and the clothes on my back. Can't even make a decent living out of martial arts.” Ranma ended with some bitterness. He remembered well that time he tried to take in students for the dojo and no one was interested until he changed into a girl and put on a bunny suit. Buncha stupid perverts. Even that Sotatsu guy had problems gettin' students. All the girls only signed up 'cause they thought he was cool. They all left when they saw him lose. “And if I lose my martial arts skills, or even just my strength, what am I left with?” That lesson was driven home hard by the strength stealing moxibustion technique Happosai used on him. Even Akane couldn't come up with anything else I'm good at. Good thing the old ghoul was there to help me. If it wasn't for her, I dunno what I would have done.

Nodoka felt pain stab through her heart as she sat watchng her son agonize. Damn you, Genma, what have you done to my son? Did you teach him nothing but the art? She vowed to do everything in her power to help her son become much more than just a martial artist. “Perhaps it would be best if you asked them yourself, my son.”

“But, but what if they say...” Ranma looked down. “I just don't see how they could like someone like me.”

Nodoka squeezed her son's hand again while tilting his head back up with a finger under his chin. “Why don't we find out? As they say: nothing ventured, nothing gained. But I'm sure the girls see something more in you than just an engagement or a law. Something much more valuable.”

“Are ya, are ya sure, mom?”

“Yes, I'm sure.”

“How can ya be so sure?”

“Because I can see it myself. If I had a daughter you would be the kind of man I would want for her husband.”

Ranma was quiet as he absorbed what his mother said. A small smile came to his face. “Thanks, mom. I needed that.”

“Ranma?”

“Yeah, mom?”

“No matter what happens I will always be here for you.”

Ranma smiled, reassured.

“Now what do we do about your angry fiancées?”

Ranma sighed. “I guess I'll hafta do what ya suggest, mom.”

“And that is?”

“Show and tell them how much they mean to me?”

The mother smiled. “You just might survive tomorrow in one piece and I'll still have a son I can be so proud of.“

“Thanks, mom.”

“You're welcome, my son. Now what do we do about Nabiki?” Or Kasumi for that matter. Oh, my son is so, so... manly! Nodoka forced herself not to go off into another fantasy of playing with her innumerable grandchildren. She can dream about that later in bed. She also decided to talk about Kasumi some other time. Her son had more than enough to deal with at the moment.

ooOOoo

“Hai-yah!”

ta! ta! ta! ta! ta! ta! ta! ta! ta! ta!

The sounds of carnage rang through the kitchen of the Tendo home as Akane began chopping the vegetables on a wooden chopping block. The chopping block was quickly losing mass as the condemned vegetable was massacred. When the heinous crime was done and Akane prepared to transfer the wood and vegetable mix into a pot, Nabiki made her move.

“Hey, Akane, I heard one of your classmates got busted yesterday for peeping into the girls' locker room.”

Akane turned. “Really? Who?”

Shampoo quickly took advantage of the distraction and used her Amaguriken speed to pick off the pieces of wood from the mix with a pair of chopsticks in each hand. It took her a total of three hundred and fifty swipes with both hands to remove every piece of wood from the vegetables. This is good training. I should tell great-grandmother about this. She hastily hid her hands behind her back and smiled innocently as Akane turned back. Akane looked at her strangely then shrugged.

“I always knew he was a pervert!” Akane huffed as she tossed the vegetables into a pot. Nabiki glanced at Shampoo and sighed with relief when the purple-haired beauty gave her the thumbs up.

Akane started to reach for bottles of condiments from the cupboards and cabinets below the kitchen counter.

“That's not the only thing I heard.”

“Oh? What else did you hear?”

Ukyou said a silent prayer and hoped her guess as to what Akane was trying to cook was correct. She began to intercept the dark-blue haired girl's hands and placed the needed ingredients and condiments in them. She grimaced as Akane dumped more than five times the amount of salt needed. Does she even look at what she's doing?! Well, at least it's the correct ingredient. After that oversight Ukyou also began to make sure only the correct amount was put into the dish.

And so it went. With Nabiki providing timely distractions with idle chit-chat, Shampoo using her Chestnut-Fist to pick off the debris that seem to find their way into whatever Akane was preparing and Ukyou making sure not only the correct ingredients but also only the proper amounts went into the dish, they were able to limit the damage done.

When dinner was ready, the three allies plodded into the living room with bowls, chopsticks and cups. They set out the dishes and each plopped down unto a cushion.

“Now I know why Kasumi is having such a hard time teaching Akane how to cook. It takes at least two people, preferably good martial artists, just to make sure she follows the recipe correctly. Kasumi will probably need to buy a new chopping block tomorrow.”

Shampoo and Ukyou nodded wearily in agreement.

“Well, at least I think we'll going to live through this.” Ukyou observed with some optimism.

“I only hope we don't regret living through it.” Shampoo said.

“What do you mean?”

“Ever heard of the saying 'mercy killing'?”

“You mean, better off dead?”

Shampoo nodded causing Nabiki to snort a short laugh. It was funny in a morbid sort of way.

“Thanks, guys. I both owe you one.”

“We know.”

Nabiki groaned. Knowing these two, they're going to collect. Oh, well, if we through this without being hospitalized it'll be worth it.

Conversation stopped as Kasumi and Akane brought out the food. The three stared at the results of Akane's, and their, efforts. It looked... non-toxic. They watched nervously as Akane served them their portions of her creation. They looked at each other while eating what Kasumi cooked as they waited for someone to take the first taste of the Akane special.

Nabiki's eyes widened in alarm when Kasumi moved to pick up a piece of vegetable from the concoction. She couldn't let anything horrible happen to Kasumi.

“Uh, sis, can you pass the soy sauce, please?”

She breathed easier when Kasumi put down her chopsticks to reach for the item. Nabiki looked at her accomplices who shrugged back making Nabiki sigh.

Guess I'll have to be the guinea pig.

She thanked Kasumi for the soy sauce and gathered her courage. She picked up a piece of... vegetable and slowly, with heart pounding and hands shaking, brought the morsel to her mouth. She hesitated, taking a deep breath, before opening her mouth and placing the piece of vegetable inside it. She was watched closely by Shampoo and Ukyou.

Akane suddenly banged her hand on the table. “For heaven's sake! Just close your mouth and chew it, Nabiki! It's not that bad!” She huffed in frustration.

“GAH!” Nabiki, Shampoo and Ukyou cried out, startled. Nabiki scrambled to catch her chopsticks.

Akane picked up a piece, quickly put it in her mouth, chewed and swallowed. “See?”

Nabiki blinked. “Wait a minute! You were waiting for me to taste it?!” Nabiki demanded. She was actually going to use me as her guinea pig?!

“Well, duh! Of course! How else am I going to know what you think about it. Kasumi said it was the best I've made so far.” Akane said with obvious pride in her voice.

“Kasumi already tasted it?” And she's still okay?

“Yes, we tasted it before we brought out dinner.”

Nabiki, Shampoo and Ukyou looked at the serenely smiling face of Kasumi. “It tastes good, Nabiki.” The eldest Tendo at the table said.

No groans or moans, check. No twitching , seizures or spasms, check. No sickly color or pallor, check. Not doubled up in pain, check. No vomiting, check. No partial or total loss of consciousness, check. No behavioral changes, check. No hallucinations... um, well, one way to find out. Nabiki held up one hand with three fingers extended.

“Kasumi, how many fingers do I have up?”

Kasumi looked puzzled “Three, Nabiki. Why do you ask?”

“Oh, nothing, sis.” She pointed at Ukyou. “What's her name?” If Kasumi says 'Barney' I'm taking her to the hospital.

“Ukyou, of course. Are we playing a game, Nabiki? I love games.”

“Uh, no, Kasumi. Just wanted to make sure.” Nabiki looked at her two accomplices and then the three of them looked at the dish they 'helped' Akane make.

Could it be? Were they actually able to help Akane cook something that was not only non-toxic but also edible? Miracle of miracles! The only thing left to determine was the taste. Nabiki put the piece she was holding in her mouth and chewed. She smiled.

“Hey, not bad, Akane. It actually tastes like what it's supposed to taste like.”

Akane smiled brightly, very proud she was finally able to cook something right. “Thanks, sis.”

Ukyou followed shortly then Shampoo. “Yeah, tastes like curry.”

Akane looked at the chef, bewildered. “It's not curry.”

Woooooo.

An errant breeze swept through the Tendou living room as a very uncomfortable silence descended upon the occupants. The silence was broken when the four other girls sweatdropped and blinked in unison. “It's not?”

ooOOoo

When Kasumi was finally able to calm Akane down from crying rivers and bawling out “You're all so mean!” to mere sniffles, the five girls were able to finish dinner in pleasant conversation. They were careful to avoid any mention of the curry dish that was not a curry dish.

After dinner and the dishes were washed and put away, Akane, Kasumi, Shampoo and Ukyou sat around the table as Nabiki made her preparations for the lecture. They watched as the girl with the page-boy haircut connected the family Gandycam (2) to the television. After that she went up to her room and came down back after several minutes carrying a tape, a photo album and several of her manga. The tape she inserted into the Gandycam but didn't play yet while she removed several pictures from the album.

“Welcome, ladies, to 'Nabiki Tendou's How To Get Ranma Saotome To Kiss 101'.” The middle Tendo grandly announced to her expectant audience making Shampoo and Ukyou giggle in anticipation and Akane and Kasumi to redden.

“Let's start by looking at these pictures.” Nabiki handed out the first photo to Ukyou who sat closest to her, notebook and pencil in hand.

“Ranchan got kissed by a guy?!” Ukyou shrieked as soon as she saw the photo, causing the other girls to crowd behind her. It was an overhead shot of Mikado Sanzenin kissing Ranma-chan.

“Aiyah!”

“Oh, yeah. I forgot, you two weren't here yet when that happened. Really, really tragic story of Ranma getting kissed.” (3) Nabiki imitated the voice of the Jusenkyo guide perfectly.

“Well, yeah! Ranchan got kissed by a guy! Of course it's tragic!”

“It's more tragic than that. It was Ranma's first kiss.”

Shampoo and Ukyou looked horrified and sick at the same time.

“Wha-what happened?”

“I'll let baby sister here tell you the story since I wasn't there.”

“Speaking of which, how did you get a picture of this, Nabiki?”

Nabiki smiled. “Akane, Akane. You should know by now I have my sources and I never reveal them to anyone.” With her, her associates, Sasuke and Gosungkugi taking photographs there was hardly anything important that happened in Nerima that Nabiki didn't have a photographic record of. Of course with Sasuke and Gosungkugi she had to trade but she was able to negotiate ten photos of theirs to one of her own as the terms of the deal.

“Anyway, what happened?” Shampoo persisted.

“Well, it happened several months back. Ranma and I were going to have a match in martial arts figure skating against that guy Sanzenin and his partner, Azusa Shiratori, over P-Chan.”"

“P-Chan?”

“Yes. You see, Azusa has this stupid obsession with 'cute' things. She takes home whatever she finds cute and gives them stupid french names.”

“She took P-Chan?”

“Yes and gave him this stupid name, Charlotte. To make matters worse, she put this collar with a heart that had the name 'Charlotte' engraved on the heart around P-Chan's neck. I couldn't take it off because she had the only key to unlock it. Poor P-Chan.”

Shampoo's face reddened and her cheeks bubbled out as she tried not to laugh out loud and spill Ryoga's secret as she imagined what the lost-boy must have looked like with the collar. I'd pay money to see that. The others looked at her strangely. (4)

“Are you okay, Shampoo?”

Shampoo nodded quickly and waved for Akane to continue.

“Anyway, we had a week to train and it turned out Ranma couldn't ice skate even if his life depended on it. He was so embarrassed falling all over the ice rink and being laughed at by kids less than half our age he changed himself into a girl.”

“So why did this Sanzenin guy kiss Ranchan?”

“I'm getting to that. You see, this Sanzenin guy is a complete sleaze ball and pervert. He made it his life's goal to steal a kiss from a thousand girls.”

“Eeewww! That's disgusting!”

“Exactly. So there I was teaching Ranma how to skate when Azusa deliberately bumps into me making me let go of Ranma who slides off out of control. Sanzenin catches Ranma and steals a kiss from him as 'thanks'.”

“Oh, my God! Ranchan must have been pissed!”

“Pissed doesn't even describe it, you should have seen him. He hit Sanzenin five hundred and eighteen times. The creep lost consciousness while still standing up.”

“Hah! Serves the sleaze ball right! If he tries to pull a stunt like that on me I'll castrate him!” The other girls nodded in agreement.

“So what happened at your skating match?”

Akane blushed, remembering Ranma's declaration in front of an audience of hundreds. “Akane is my fiancee! Touch her and I'll kill you!” She sighed, her eyes glazing over. Why can't he always be that nice to me?

“Akane? Akane?” Shampoo waved her hand in front of the tomboy with no response. She looked at the other girls who shrugged. She pinched the girl.

“Ow! That hurt, you know! What'd you do that for anyway?!” Akane rubbed the spot on her arm where Shampoo pinched her.

“You weren't listening. So what happened at the skating match?”

“Oh!” Akane blushed again. “We won, of course. Sanzenin landed in the hospital with multiple fractures caused by Azusa while I wound up in the school clinic. That's when you first busted in, Shampoo.”

“Oh.”

“Okay, next pic.” Nabiki handed it to Shampoo who squealed in delight and hopped around with a smile on her face while clutching the picture to her chest when she saw it was a photo of her giving Ranma a rather passionate 'Kiss of Marriage'. The glazed look in the boy's eyes was obvious.

“Aiyah! Why didn't you tell me you had a picture of this?!” Shampoo waved the photo in front of Nabiki's face.

Akane and Ukyou looked at each other. “What?! What?!”

“Uh, sorta forgot about it I guess.”

“Aiyah! Can you make me several copies and a poster size one?”

Nabiki smirked. “It'll cost you.”

“I don't care! I'll pay! Just make me copies!”

Ukyou finally couldn't stand it anymore and snatched the photo from the Amazon's hands. “Let me see!” Her jaw fell while Akane hmphed when they saw what it was about. “When did this happen?!”

“When Airen first defeated me! It was so romantic!” It was Shampoo's turn to go off into fantasy land.

“Romantic? Hah! You jumped him! What's so romantic about that?!” Akane felt it was her duty to 'correct' the story.

“Hmph! And I suppose you would know what romantic is?” Shampoo mockingly asked Akane. She barely restrained herself from using one of her Airen's endearing terms for Akane: “sexless tomboy”.

“Of course I do!”

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“Let's hear what you think is romantic.”

“Uh, um, well, uh, it's, um, when, you see...”

“Thought so.”

“Hey, I do know what romantic is when I see it!”

“Yeah, sure, whatever.”

Ukyou steered the topic back on track. “As much as I want to know what you two think romantic is, let's save that for some other time. So, what's the story?” She asked Nabiki.

“Well I wasn't here when it happened and Akane might 'embellish' it so I'll let Kasumi tell the story. Sis?”

Kasumi blinked in surprise, not used to being put in the spotlight. “Um, well, it's been several months. I don't know if I can remember everything.”

"Just tell us what you remember, Kasumi.”

“Well, I remember Shampoo arrived here before Ranma and Akane when she followed Mr. Saotome home.” The gentle girl's forehead furrowed as she tried to recall the events that day. “I served her tea while she waited for Ranma. When Ranma came home, he was a boy so Shampoo was a bit confused since she didn't know he had a Jusenkyo curse then. She accused Akane of hiding girl-Ranma who she was looking for. When Akane denied it, Shampoo attacked her forcing Ranma to protect Akane. That was when Ranma accidentally knocked Shampoo unconscious. We were afraid she was going to give him the 'Kiss of Death.' We were surprised when Shampoo suddenly kissed Ranma on the lips when she woke up. When Ranma seemed to enjoy the kiss we thought Shampoo was an old girlfriend of his from China. The kiss was only broken when Akane hit him. It was only later that we learned about their laws with the help of Nabiki.”

Shampoo sighed in delight after Kasumi finished telling the story, going off into another fantasy that involved her, her Airen, some fruits, nuts, cream, chocolate syrup and a trampoline (don't ask). It always gave her a thrill whenever she thought about that first lips-to-lips kiss of hers with her Airen. The other girls looked at Shampoo strangely before shaking their heads.

“That's it? That's all there is to it?”

Kasumi touched her right index finger to her chin as she tried to think of anything she might have left out. “Yes. I think that's everything to it.”

Ukyou felt disappointed. From the way Shampoo reacted she expected more. I guess I should have known better. Shampoo's always been enthusiastic about everything. She thought about the kiss and Ranchan's reaction. Maybe I should just kiss him and surprise him also. She fantasized what it would be like to kiss her Ranchan. I just know it'll be great! It was her turn to get a goofy grin on her face.

Nabiki shook her head again. Sheesh, they got it bad. I almost pity Ranma when they get their hands on him. “Okay, ladies, next pic.” She handed it to Akane.

“Hey!” It was a picture of neko-Ranma kissing Akane.

“What?”

“Don't spread these around!”

“Why not?”

“Because I don't want you to spread them!”

“You'll have to excuse Akane.” Nabiki explained to Shampoo and Ukyou. “She's still sore because it was her first kiss and Ranma doesn't remember anything because he was under the nekoken when he kissed her.”

“I'm not sore!” Akane scowled.

“He doesn't remember?!”

“He claims he doesn't remember anything when he's under the nekoken! Can you believe him?”

Shampoo knew about the nekoken while Ukyou had heard stories about it so they knew they couldn't fault Ranma for not remembering it and the three of them were rivals but, damn it, it was just plain wrong when a guy gets a girl's first kiss and then doesn't remember it! Especially when the guy is your fiancé!

“That sucks!”

Akane blinked. Shampoo and Ukyou were actually siding with her? “You two understand?!”

“Well, of course! Airen better not forget my first kiss!”

“Yeah! And he better not forget my first kiss when he gets it!”

Akane clasped the hands of Shampoo and Ukyou. “Thank you. Thank you so much.” There were tears in her eyes. “Wait. Your first kiss? You haven't been kissed before?”

Ukyou blushed as she realized her gaff. She waved it off. “Um, well, I'm saving it for the right guy, okay? And that's not important. What did you do with Ranchan when he couldn't remember it?”

“What else? I pounded the jerk!”

“You go girl!”

Nabiki rolled her eyes. Typical. “And what exactly did pounding poor Ranma accomplish, sister dear?”

“It made me feel better!” Ukyou and Shampoo nodded in sisterly righteousness.

Nabiki blinked. She did have to give them that. “Well, okay, I have to give you that. But what else did it accomplish?”

“What else?” Akane, Shampoo and Ukyou scratched the back of their heads, unconsciously imitating their common fiancé. Akane brightened as she thought of something. “It taught the jerk a lesson!” More nods of support.

Nabiki hung her head in defeat. Talk about one track minds. “Ladies,ladies! You really need to think with your brain more than with your fists. There are a lot more pleasant alternatives to just beating the hell out of your fiancé to drive home a point or to make yourself feel better.”

“For example, if I were in Akane's shoes I would have made Ranma take me out to a nice, quiet, romantic date with all the works entirely at his expense. You know, flowers, movie, dinner and walk in the park or fair. Not only would it have made him and his wallet remember his mistake and made me feel better, it would also have given us an opportunity to take our relationship to the next level. And if I felt much better after the date I might even have given him a kiss he'll never forget!”

The three martial artist fiancees blinked together. Nabiki's idea did sound a lot more appealing than what their initial and natural reactions would have been. Now why didn't I think of that?

Kasumi smiled and nodded wisely. “Why, that's very clever of you, Nabiki.”

“Thanks, Kasumi. I do try to do my best. Anyway, any questions before we go on to the next picture?”

Ukyou raised her hand. “Um, any more ideas on what to do on a date?”

“Strictly speaking that question isn't included on how to get Ranma to kiss you but, hey, I'm feeling a little generous today.” Nabiki could afford to be generous. She made more than twice what she needed on this little impromptu lecture. “So here's some more ideas. You can go to a theme park, have a picnic, go boating, dancing or watch a concert. It's up to you really. Just make sure Ranma will enjoy it also. Any more questions? No?” She handed out the next picture.

“EEEEEEWWWWWW!!” It was a picture of Tatewaki Kuno and girl-Ranma kissing during the 'Romeo and Juliet' play.

“Stupid stick-boy kissed Airen?!” Shampoo could call Kuno that. Her great-grandmother didn't forbid her from calling the guys her pet names.

Ukyou felt sick. “How did this happen?!”

“Actually it was Ranma who kissed Kuno.” Akane corrected in a quiet voice.

“What did you say?”

Akane sighed. “I said it was Ranma who kissed Kuno.”

Thump! Thump!

Those were the sounds of two jaws hitting the floor.

“You gotta be kidding me!”

“I wish I was.”

“What? Why? How?”

“You know how Ranma hates his curse?”

The two nodded.

“Well, we had a play competition in school right before Ukyou got here. Our school drama club president said the prize was a chance to see China. Ranma thought it was a trip to China and a chance to go back to Jusenkyo and get himself cured.” Akane paused.

“Thought?”

“I'll get to that. So Ranma decided to join our school play, Romeo and Juliet, as Romeo. Unfortunately when Kuno, Happosai and Gosunkugi heard I was going to play Juliet they decided to join as Romeo also.”

“Wait a minute. You played Juliet while Ranchan played Romeo? Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like where this is going?”

Akane turned crimsom as she remembered what she did at the end.

“I'll take that as a yes.” Ukyou drily said.

“Do you want to hear the story or not?!”

“Okay, okay! So what happened next?”

“So there I was waiting as Juliet while the guys were trying to outwhack each other to be Romeo. Ranma eventually was able to get rid of the others and the play finally got underway. That's when I learned Ranma didn't even read the script! When he found out he had to kiss me he freaked out in front of everyone, the JERK! Like I wanted to kiss him in the first place!”

“Yeah, sure, Akane. We all know you don't want to kiss Ranchan/Airen. That's the reason why you're here.”

“I didn't want to kiss him then!”

“Oh, so now you want to kiss him?”

Akane's reddened even more. Whoops! “That's not what I meant! And it's none of your business!”

“Fine, fine, whatever. So what happened?”

“Anyway, when Ranma couldn't kiss me, Kuno booted him out. Served him right! Only problem was I couldn't kiss Kuno. Ick!”

“Yuck!”

“Exactly! So when I couldn't kiss Kuno, Ranma snatches me and takes my place as Juliet. That's when he kissed Kuno.”

“Why?!”

“That's how desperate he was to find a cure to his curse. He'd do almost anything to find a cure.”

Ukyou's and Shampoo's eyes softened. “Poor Airen/Ranchan. I can understand why. I mean his curse causes him all kinds of trouble.”

A look of guilt passes over the three Tendou sisters as they recalled how they reacted when they found out about Ranma's curse. The look wasn't lost on their two guests.

“What's with the faces?”

Kasumi hesitantly answered for her sisters. “I'm afraid we gave Ranma some trouble because of his curse.”

“Oh?”

“You see, when we found out about it when Ranma first arrived we didn't take it very well. In fact we were very rude.” Kasumi looked down in shame. “Some might even say cruel. His curse was the reason why Nabiki and I passed Ranma off to Akane without considering his feelings.” Kasumi's voice broke at the end, her guilt overwhelming her. “We, I, never even took the time to get to know him before I dismissed him so callously.”

Ukyou tried to comfort the Tendou girls, the eldest in particular. Gee, never thought Kasumi would do anything like that. They must have been really shocked by the curse. “Hey, com'on, it's not that bad, Kasumi. I mean, anyone would have freaked out if they found out about the curse, especially if they might marry the guy.”

“You didn't freak out.” Akane pointed out, her guilt growing. “You weren't repulsed by Ranma's curse, Ukyou. You even found it funny for crying out loud. Not like me. I called him a freak and a pervert after I found out.” Akane could finally admit, after acknowledging what she felt for the pig-tailed youth, that she was wrong in taking the curse against him, even if only to herself. Oh, Ranma, I was so wrong. Can you ever forgive me?

“Well, I knew Ranchan before and he was still the same boy I knew, the boy I fell in love with, curse or not. I guess it allowed me to accept the curse better than you guys. I mean, it doesn't change who he is, right? Besides that's all in the past, I'm sure Ranchan doesn't hold it against any of you. He's not that kind of guy. And what's important is that you three all accept Ranma as he is now, curse and all. Right?”

“Ukyou is right.” Shampoo agreed.

“See?”

Kasumi brightened a little. “Thank you, Ukyou, Shampoo. You don't know how much that means to me, to us.” Her sisters nodded.

“You're welcome, Kasumi. What are friends for?” Ukyou blinked. Friends? When did we become friends? Sure they're weren't exactly enemies and they did help each other out occassionally, but friends? Ukyou slightly shook her head, she could think about that later.

“I only hope Ranma can find it in his heart to truly forgive us.”

“Hey, now, of course he has. You guys don't have to worry about that.”

“Yes, I supposed he is that kind of person. Still I think we'll feel better if we apologize to him properly for our past actions.” Kasumi dabbed her eyes with a hankerchief and smiled a little. “Shall we continue?”

“Right. So what happened next?”

“Well, when Ranma broke the kiss, we saw he put duct tape over Kuno's lips.”

“Duct tape? How'd he put it on Kuno?” Shampoo and Ukyou looked at the picture again. They noted the position of Ranma's hands. “Oh. Smart.”

“But still...” Akane, Nabiki, Shampoo and Ukyou shivered at the very thought of even kissing Kuno.

“Bleah!” was the concensus around the table.

“Yeah, just shows how desperate Airen was to get a cure.”

“Is he still as desperate?” Ukyou asked.

Akane thought about the wishing sword incident and nodded. “Unfortunately, yes. He even went as far as going on a date with Kuno when Kuno got a wishing sword.”

“He, he, he...” The two guests sputtered together.

“Yes. Our fiancé went on a date with Kuno.

“EEEEEEWWWWWW!!”

“How could he?!”

“What do you think? He was desperate. He wanted to get the sword so he could wish for a cure.”

“You know, we really should break Airen of that habit. It'll get him into real trouble one of these days.”

“Yeah, we should. For his sake.”

“How?”

“We can show him it's not that bad being a girl.”

“It's not that simple.” Nabiki countered.

“Why wouldn't it be that simple?” Akane asked.

“You try changing into a guy while wearing girl's clothes in a girl's locker room full of half-naked girls who doesn't know or care about your curse and let's see you handle it. Let's see any of us live like that for the rest of our lives.” That silenced the other girls. “It's not just turning and being a girl. If it was that simple I doubt Ranma would be having this hard a time adjusting to it. It's also the situations it puts him in. It's the way other people react to it.”

“So how do we tell him not to be too desperate to find a cure? You know it'll get him into real trouble sooner or later.”

Nabiki rubbed her temples. “I know. And I wish I can just tell him I don't care about the curse any more and he shouldn't either. But I can't. It wouldn't be fair to him.”

“But we can't just sit here and do nothing!”

“I think the best we can do is help him cope with the curse as best as we can and try to keep or help him out of trouble.” Kasumi suggested.

“Sis is right. Ranma will have to come to terms with the curse and it's consequences on his own. We can help him with that and try to keep him out of trouble but as long as there is a chance for a permanent cure and a normal life, we can't deny him that. We'll just have to trust him not to do anything too stupid.”

The five grew silent. They weren't comfortable with the plan but knew it was the best they could do.

“Is there really a cure, Shampoo?” Akane asked the Amazon who sighed.

“I don't know, Akane. The magic of Jusenkyo is very unpredictable. We can ask great-grandmother but I think if she knew of a cure she would already have tried to use the knowledge to try to get Airen to marry me.”

Nabiki nodded. She guessed as much.

“Anyway, that's something we should talk about with Ranma.” Nabiki handed out the last photo. It was the picture of Akane kissing Ranma at the end of the play.

“I knew it!” Ukyou exclaimed. “You kissed him!”

“No, I didn't!”

“Then why is your hands on his cheeks?! You're the one who made the kiss!”

“I had to! The jerk wouldn't kiss me and we wouldn't have won the prize! I was just helping him! And I was putting duct tape on his lips, that's why I had my hands on his cheeks!” Thank God no one heard what I said to Ranma on the way home. I'd never live that down especially with these two. I wonder what made me say what I said in the first place? Can it be I really wanted to kiss him then?!

“I'm sure.” Sarcasm dripped from Shampoo's voice.

“It's the truth! The guest judge said if we kissed then we were sure to win!” Akane turned to their middle sister. “Nabiki! Tell them you have a photo showing Ranma with the duct tape over his mouth!”

Nabiki shrugged. “Sorry, sis, don't have that one.”

“Aha! I knew it!”

“Akane is telling the truth, Shampoo.” Kasumi vouched for her sister.

“See?! See?! I told you it was the truth!”

“Okay! So why didn't I hear you guys went to China?”

Akane had the decency to blush. “Um, well, we misunderstood what the drama club president said. What he meant was we would get to see Mister China, a Chinese actor.”

Shampoo and Ukyou blinked. “You mean to tell us that Airen/Ranchan went to all that trouble, even kissing Kuno over duct tape, for that?!” When Akane nodded the two face faulted.

“That... that sucks!”

“You said it. Ranma went into a coma after learning that. I'd hate to think what he would have done if he didn't put duct tape over Kuno's mouth when he kissed him then learned what the prize was. I don't think the drama club president would have survived.”

Nabiki, Shampoo and Ukyou chuckled. “Yeah, he probably wouldn't have.”

“Anyway, that's it for the pictures. Let's review first before we watch the videos. First.” Nabiki held up the photos of Sanzenin/girl-Ranma and Shampoo/boy-Ranma. “You can catch Ranma by surprise, either deliberately like these two or accidentally like in my case, and kiss him suddenly. As shown by these two pictures it works, you get to kiss him. The only problem with this approach is that it's one-sided. It might be good in certain situations but not all the time. I think we all want Ranma to reciprocate the gesture eventually.”

Ukyou raised her hand. “What kind of situations?”

“Hard to say exactly but I think boys like to be surprised by displays of affections from girls they like especially if they're not sure how the girl feels about them. You know, like if the two of you were just walking around in a park or mall and you suddenly kiss the guy. I don't know of any guy who wouldn't like that. Or when he does a very nice thing for you. It'll show him you appreciate the gesture.”

“Oh.” Ukyou scribbled furiously in her notebook.

“Also take note of Ranma's reactions to the three kisses. They were very different. While his initial reaction in all three cases was shock, his subsequent actions showed how he took the kiss. In Sanzenin's case, Ranma beat the crap out of him while in my and Shampoo's case... let's just say he didn't exactly protest it.”

“I knew it! I knew he liked it!” Shampoo clapped her hands happily.

Nabiki waited for the bubbly girl to calm down. “That's pretty obvious. Yes, Akane?” She acknowledged her sister.

“Um, doesn't that mean he'll like every kiss that comes from a girl?”

“He might. He's a guy after all.”

Akane frowned. “Doesn't that bother you?”

“If Ranma initiated the kiss and I was his fiancée, yes, it would bother me. Otherwise...” The middle Tendou shrugged.

“But what if Ranma liked the kiss and the girl? What if the girl was more beautiful than you?”

“Akane, your insecurity is showing.” Nabiki said to tease her baby sister. “Really, you should trust Ranma a little more. You know he's better than that. If he was like that he would have left you for Shampoo that time she kissed him. He's loyal to a fault.”

Akane blinked. “Oh.” It was like a light bulb went on in her head. Nabiki's right. If Ranma was like that he would have left me a long time ago.

Nabiki looked around. “So any other questions before we continue?” No one raised a hand. “No? Okay then.” She raised the picture of neko-Ranma kissing Akane. “One way to get Ranma to kiss you is when he goes under the nekoken and he doesn't know what he's doing. I guess it's like getting drunk. It removes his inhibitions. Of course, like Akane said, he won't remember anything he did while under it. I don't think any of us wants that.” The other girls nodded agreement.

Nabiki raised the picture of girl-Ranma kissing Kuno. “Another way to get Ranma to kiss you is to have something he wants very badly like a cure to his curse. However, I think all of us prefers Ranma to kiss us on his own without any strings attached.”

“How do we do that? I mean he's never shown any interest in that kind of stuff.”

“Ah.” The lecturer raised her right hand with the index finger pointing up. “I beg to disagree on that.”

“Are you saying Ranma's interested in that kind of stuff?”

“Yep.”

“How can you say that?”

“You'll know after we watch the videos.”

“Videos?”

“Yep, yep.”

“Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like what's in those videos?” The youngest Tendou asked.

“What ever would make you say that, baby sister?” Nabiki purred. When her sister simply hmphed and turned away she smirked. “Anyway, you should pay attention to the videos. This is where you girls are going to get your money's worth.” She walked over to the Gandycam and pressed 'Play'

“I knew it!” Akane huffed as the first movie came on the television. It showed her and Ranma alone in the dojo after the Sanzenin kissing incident.

“Ssshhh! Quiet or you'll miss it.”

“I ought to demand some royalty from you.”

“In your dreams, Akane, in your dreams.”

Akane bit back the retort she was forming and decided to just watch along with the rest. She wanted to get her money's worth after all. She sat with the other girls quietly watching the video until it ended where she and Ranma were interrupted by her family. Ranma you idiot! Why couldn't you kiss me then?

Nabiki pressed 'Stop' then turned. “Well, ladies, what did you notice from the video?”

“They didn't kiss at the end.” Shampoo stated the obvious.

“And why is that?”

“They were interrupted by you guys.” Thank God!

“Right! That's another thing us girls, with the possible exception of Kasumi, will have to keep in mind if we want to kiss Ranma. Interruptions. Specially for you three.”

“Why specially for us three?” Akane asked.

”Well, aside from us four interfering with one another so that the other doesn't get to kiss Ranma, which I hope we can settle by coming to a mutually beneficial agreement later, I'll give each of you three reasons why.”

“For Akane, there's Kuno, Kodachi and Ryouga. For Shampoo, Mousse, Kodachi and Ryouga. For Ukyou, Tsubasa, Kodachi and Ryouga.”

“Hey, Ryouga's not like that!” Akane defended her male friend. When everyone except Kasumi looked at her pointedly she meekly added. “Um, right? Besides why would he do that?”

“Because, my dearest baby sister who can be so dense at times, Ryouga has a big crush on you. So big he can't stand Ranma getting close to you or Ranma hurting you by” Nabiki made the quotation marks sign with both hands “cheating on you with other girls.” She shrugged. “What can I say, he's a confused lost-boy.”

“Ryouga doesn't have a crush on me! He's just a nice guy, that's all!

“Akane, Akane.” Nabiki counted on her fingers. “One. You're the only girl he's ever given souvenirs to. Two. You're the only girl he's ever asked out on a date. Three. You're the only girl he's ever really helped. And four. You're the only girl he's ever asked to marry him.”

“But Mamolin possessed him that time! It doesn't count!”

“Maybe he was possessed but did he ever deny it? I don't think so. Even if he did, there's still the three other points I raised.”

Akane opened her mouth to deny them but no sound came out her mouth. Ryouga likes me that way? Oh, no. What do I tell him? He's nice but...

“Getting back to the lecture...”

“But won't you have problems with Ryouga and Kodachi, too?” Ukyou asked.

“Obviously.”

“So I assume you have a plan?” Shampoo asked.

“Of course. I always do.”

“Which is?” Ukyou prodded.

Nabiki slapped her forehead in mock exasperation. “Cooperation, ladies! Cooperation! We need to help each other out if we want to get anywhere with Ranma.”

“Oh.” Akane, Shampoo and Ukyou looked at one another and considered the suggestion. Two days ago they would never have considered helping each other out with their mutual fiancé. Then again, two days ago they would never have thought the three of them would be sitting together listening to Nabiki tell them how to kiss the boy in question.

“Okay, let's say we go along with this plan of yours. What do we have to do?”

“First we'llhave to agree on not interfering with one another. Interfering with one another doesn't help any of us. Unless if someone's being a bit tricky.” Everyone looked at the Amazon.

“What?”

“You know Nabiki means you.”

“Don't worry. I don't need to use tricks anymore.” Shampoo smirked confidently.

“And why's that?”

“It's a fair fight now with Auntie here.”

“And what do you mean by that?!” Akane glared at the Amazon at the implied insult.

“It means exactly what you think it means, Akane.” Shampoo shot back.

Akane balled her fists. “Why you... Are you saying I don't fight fairly?!”

Shampoo sat back and crossed her arms across her chest.“Where did you get that stupid idea? I never said you fight dirty.” She gave Akane a look that said “You're an idiot.”

“Then what exactly are you saying?!”

Shampoo sighed. “Do you really need me to explain that to you?”

“Yes!”

Kasumi saved Shampoo from explaining. “Akane, I think what Shampoo is saying is that you had an unfair advantage with Ranma's father favoring your engagement. Not to mention Ranma living under our roof. Isn't that right, Shampoo?”

The purple-haired girl frowned, it was a very sore point with her. Shampoo glanced at Ukyou and saw her feelings mirrored in the chef's face. She wanted to add a lot more to what Kasumi said but decided it made her point already. She nodded.

“But Ranma could have left any time he wanted to!”

“Yes, he could have, we all know he is very much capable of living on his own, but do you think he would have? His sense of honor would not have permitted him to leave without at least giving the engagement a chance.”

“But, but didn't he stay because he wanted to? Because he... “She looked down as she couldn't bring herself to finish her statement.

“Wanted to be with you?” Kasumi gently finished for her sister. “Yes, I am sure later he did.”

Akane was not as sure as her elder sister. He stayed only because of his honor. Does he still feel the same? Doesn't he feel the same way I feel? It was wrenching her gut not to know. Ranma was only the second man she ever cared so deeply about. The first was Dr. Tofu and she wasn't sure she could take another heartbreak like that. Please, don't let it end like that. Kami-sama, please don't let it end like that.

She felt a reassuring hand on her own. It was Kasumi.

"It may not have been love at first sight, Akane, but that should not matter. Ranma came to care for you for who and what you are. And for him, I think, that is as close to love as he knows."

"Yeah, bad cooking and temper included." Nabiki just couldn't resist taking a jab at her sister.

Akane's rejoinder died in her throat when she saw Shampoo and Ukyou. She could not miss the pained expressions that came over Shampoo's and Ukyou's faces at Kasumi's words.

Kasumi also did not fail to see the effects her words had on their two guests.

“Shampoo, Ukyou. I am sorry if my words has hurt you. I think we all know Ranma has come to care for Akane more than for any other girl. Perhaps it was because of the unfair advantage that Shampoo mentioned. I do not know. But that does not mean Ranma-kun does not care for the two of you. Nor does it mean he will not come to care for you as much he has come to care for Akane. I am sure given the same opportunity he would have come to that.” Kasumi did not need to say out loud that the opportunity had come with Ranma's mother acknowledging their engagements.

Her words had the desired effects on the two girls but not for another. Kasumi saw her youngest sister look away.

“Akane, Ranma caring more for Shampoo and Ukyou does not mean he will care less about you.”

“How can you be so sure? How can anyone l-lo, care for more than one person?”

“How can one not?” Kasumi smiled wisely. “Love does not have rules, Akane. There is no rule that a person can only love one other person. If there is someone who is capable of loving more than one, it would be Ranma.”

“But...”

The eldest among the group sighed. “I know it will be difficult for all of us. The thought that Ranma may one day eventually have to choose one of us to marry despite Auntie's efforts will always be at the back of our minds.”

“However, I do not think the way things have happened in the past should continue. If not for our sakes then for the man we all profess to care for more than any other man. I believe what Auntie has said to be true. It is difficult enough for Ranma-kun as it already is. The thought of hurting one of you pains him greatly. Fighting among yourselves will only make it worse for him. If we all truly love him then let us do as Nabiki suggests. And prehaps we may even become best of friends as Auntie hopes.”

The tomboy, amazon and chef looked down. They did not, could not, doubt what Kasumi said. One by one they nodded their heads.

Kasumi smiled again. “I also believe in being an optimist. Who knows what the future may bring. Perhaps Auntie will find a way to make all of us happy. It is best if we help and not hinder her.”

The other girls smiled hesitantly in return. They had their doubts but as long as there was hope...

“Well, now that we have agreed not to get in each other's way and maybe even help each other out, we can continue with the lecture. What else did you notice in the video? Something very important.”

“What?”

“It's the only time I've seen Ranma-kun back down from a challenge.” Nabiki rewound the tape to where Akane said he didn't have the guts the kiss her. Akane, Shampoo and Ukyou watched in amazement as Ranma failed to rise to the dare.

“Wow! I never thought I'd ever see that happen.” Ukyou commented. Akane and Shampoo nodded. “So what does it mean?”

“It means for Ranma kissing is a big thing. Even bigger than his ego or his need to always win. And not just for him but for the girl as well. Especially for the girl.” She replayed the part where Ranma said a girl should do this kind of thing with someone they like and where he said he didn't mind if Akane didn't.

“So Ranchan's isn't just going to kiss? Especially if the girl doesn't like him or doesn't want to?”

“Yes, so you better make sure it's clear to him what your feelings are.”

“That's never worked before for me.” Shampoo pointed out.

“For me either.” Ukyou seconded.

“That was then, things are different now.” Nabiki pressed 'Play' again. “And now for the second video.” It was a recording of the last part of the 'Romeo and Juliet' play. “Pay attention to Ranma's reactions at the end.” When the video ended she asked. “So what did you notice about the kiss?”

“There was something different about it.” Ukyou offered.

Nabiki smiled. “Yes, it is different. How was it different?”

“I don't know. Just different from the rest.”

Nabiki paused dramatically. “It's the first and only kiss where Ranma consciously participated in. He actually kissed back. In all the rest” Nabiki held up the photos “he was either taken by surprise or didn't know what he was doing. Except for the Kuno kiss but we all know that doesn't count.”

The eyes of Akane, Shampoo and Ukyou widened and they whistled. “You're right!”

“But why only here?” Shampoo inquired.

“That's the hard part to explain. The best idea I can think of is what Kasumi said. Ranma cares for and likes Akane that way, more than for any other girl. I guess in the back of his head Ranma actually wanted to kiss Akane. After all, It's only natural to want to kiss someone you like. And when baby sis here said she wanted to or at least didn't mind kissing him...” Nabiki shrugged.

“He, he likes me that way? He really likes me that way?”

“Akane, sometimes you can be even more dense than he is. It makes me wonder if we're related.” Nabiki looked over at the crestfallen faces of the Amazon and chef. “Hey, come on, it's not bad. Like Kasumi said, it doesn't mean Ranma isn't going to care about or like you as much as he does for Akane. All you two, Kasumi and I have to do is work at it.”

“How do you know he'll like us the way he likes Akane?”

“Like Kasumi said, it wasn't love at first sight with Akane so there's no reason he can't come to like you, or any of us, the way he likes Akane. Besides...”

Shampoo and Ukyou waited.

“...Akane put duct tape over Ranma's mouth so it doesn't count! Ranma's first real kiss is still up for grabs!”

The two girls brightened immediately. “You're right!”

“Hey!” Akane protested. “I knew I shouldn't have put that tape...” She slapped her hands over her mouth as she realized what she was saying. She looked around and saw her companions smirking at her “Er, he he. Oops?”

Nabiki smirked. “I thought so. Anyway let's recap before we call it a night.”

“Hey, wait a minute. That's it?” Ukyou protested.

“Girls, I've already given you all the information you need not only to kiss Ranma but also to get him to kiss you. What more do you need?”

“What about that telling him he kissed you stuff?”

“Oh, that? That was just sales talk.” When her clients began to protest Nabiki raised a hand. “Tell me, didn't you learn anything from all this?” She waved her right hand over the pictures and the television.

“Yes, but...”

“Look, all you have to do is use what you learned here. Simple as that.”

“Yes, we know that but...”

Nabiki sighed in exasperation. “Let me guess. You're not sure you can do it right, right?” When the girls nodded she smirked. “Well, I'm willing to give a little demonstration. You three can all sit back and watch me make my move on Ranma-kun.” It had the desired effect. She smirked as the eyes of Akane, Shampoo and Ukyou widened in alarm. They waved their hands in front of them.

“No! No! No! That's not necessary. We, we can take it from here!”

“Are you sure? I'm willing to give the demo for free.” The second oldest girl present offered.

“No! I mean, yes! Yes! We're sure it's not necessary. Right?” Akane looked at Shampoo and Ukyou who nodded vigorously. “See? You don't have to bother!”

“Well, if you three say so.” Nabiki shrugged. “So let's recap...” Sometimes, it's just too easy.

The tomboy, amazon and chef groaned and sighed at the same time. With Nabiki they had to be on their toes all the time. They sat back as they listened to the girl in the page-boy haircut summarize the night's lecture. One by one they smiled as each planned on what to do the next day to get the coveted first kiss of a certain boy.

Ranma/Airen/Ranchan's going to be so surprised!

In another house that certain boy shivered uncontrollably.

ooOOoo

“I'm home!” Shampoo called out once she was inside the Nekohanten. The lecture had ended a quarter of an hour earlier.

“Welcome back, great-granddaughter. I trust you had a fruitful time at the Tendous?”

The girl smiled happily. “Yes, great-grandmother. Very fruitful.” She paused and looked around to see if Mousse was around before continuing. “But also a bit disturbing, great-grandmother.”

“Oh?”

Shampoo sat down at one of the tables and waited until Cologne had settled on the tabletop. “You see, great-grandmother, the Tendou girls all decided to become Airen's fiancées.”

“I see.”

“You are not surprised, great-grandmother? Are you not troubled?”

“Surprised? No. Troubled? A little.”

“Why is that, great-grandmother?”

The old woman sighed. “I do not know whether to be happy or sad for you, Shampoo. It confirms what I felt about son-in-law from the beginning.”

“What did you sense, great-grandmother?”

“It is hard to put into words. Suffice to say he is to women what flames are to moths.”

“He will attract more women?” That was a very disturbing thought.

“Yes. More and more women will be attracted to him despite the hardships to themselves.” Cologne did not say out loud if she was her age and they weren't related she would give Shampoo a run for her money. “But you do not have to worry about that. He will remain loyal to those he has committed himself to.” Cologne waved her hand. “Let us not dwell on that.” She smiled. “I have good news for you, great-granddaughter. Staring tomorrow you shall be attending Furinkan with your Airen.”

Shampoo leapt up and clapped in happiness. “Aiyah! Really, great-grandmother?”

Cologne nodded.

“How? It was only today that we obtained the necessary papers.”

“When you become a member of the Council Of Elders, Shampoo, you shall learn how. Until then, all you need to know is that we Amazons have resources we have accumulated over the millenia of our existence.”

“Aiyah! I'm so, so happy!” She frowned as she remembered something. “But what do I do for a uniform? Or for school supplies?”

“Tomorrow after school we shall buy you those. In the meantime, you will have to make do with what you have.” She smiled craftily. “It might be a good opportunity if you were to invite son-in-law's mother to accompany us shopping.”

“Aiyah!” Shampoo uncharacteristically hugged Cologne. “I will ask Airen tomorrow! Thank you, great-grandmother! Thank you!”

The Matriarch smiled. “You are welcome, great-granddaughter. Now go and sleep. Tomorrow will start early.”

Shampoo nodded and happily bounced off towards her room.

The old woman stared after the younger girl. For you, great-granddaughter, I will do anything. She thought before pogoing off to her bedroom to sleep as well.

ooOOoo

Ranma leaned back against the wall as he settled in to watch over Kodachi for the remainder of the night, adjusting the blanket his mother gave him. His talk with his mother about the training trip had taken longer than he expected. At the end his mother had an inscrutable look on her face. He didn't know whether it was a good or a bad sign.

Guess it was a good thing I didn't tell her about the Nekoken training. Ranma didn't want to upset his mother too much. Besides nobody deserved to die for being stupid or an idiot, even his pop.

A movement caught his eye as Kodachi shifted in her sleep. He frowned. I hope she's not having that nightmare again. If his nightmares about the nekoken were any indication, her nightmare must have been truly terrible to make her scream like that. He shuddered at the memories, not only of the training itself but at the countless nightmares he had about it. The first couple of years were the worst. He would wake up much like Kodachi did. Screaming, crying and tossing about. Sometimes his father would console him, more often Genma would berate him for 'acting like a girl'. Ranma didn't notice his knuckles growing white as his grip on the blanket tightened. Even now he would still wake up drenched in sweat whenever he had a nightmare about the nekoken training. What really irked Ranma was that his father didn't do it out of malice. Genma actually thought it would make his son invincible. Too bad for Ranma his father was stupid enough not to read the entire manual before actually trying it out on him. Damned stupid old man! He looked back at the sleeping form of Kodachi in front of him.

The fact that the gymnast was not a weak person by any measure only made it worse in his mind. His countenance darkened considerably. I hope for their sakes I never meet the fucking bastards who did this to her. I might not be able to control myself. For the life of him, Ranma couldn't understand how another human being could deliberately do something like what they did to the Kunos. Are they even human?

He was brought out of his troubling thoughts when he saw Kodachi smile in her sleep. He smiled as well. Well, I hope she's having a nice dream now. He reddened when he remembered her dream when he brought her back. Uh, nice, not, um, naughty. He wouldn't admit it to anyone but the naughty dream Kodachi had about him did boost his ego a bit. I must been a real stud in her dream.

He wondered at the big difference between the girl sleeping peacefully in front of him and the Kodachi he knew or thought he knew. The words of his mother came back to him.

It is our duty to try to help her.

He leaned his head back against the pillow his mother also gave him and sighed. It seemed so many responsibilities, so many commitments, so many duties came to rest on his shoulders. Sometimes it just made him want to scream “The hell with it! I don't care! I'm leaving!” He shook his head angrily to clear it of that thought. He would never, ever do that. He would never do anything to hurt the girls deliberately. He was better than that. He'd rather die than do that.

None of them were to blame for the present situation he was in. They were trapped as much as he was.

Damn the old man for his bottomless stomach. If his father didn't let his greed get the better of him then Ukyou would not have been involved in the mess they were in, not been forced to live as a boy for being dishonored as a girl, not forced to waste ten years of her life hunting them down. Pops shoulda just refused to engage us even with the yattai as dowry. Hmmm... come to think of it, I wonder what happened to the yattai? Pops should have known better than to take the yattai. Stupid pops.

Damn me for having the same stomach. Shoulda known it would get me into trouble sooner or later like Pops. Get him into trouble with Shampoo it did. We shoulda been been smarter than just eating everything we see. I shoulda been smarter than that. And I shoulda been smarter than to go challenging Shampoo without thinking first. He sighed. She shoulda been celebrating being their champion instead of chasing me all the way back here. She shoulda been back in her village with her people instead of staying here. And she shouldn't have a Jusenkyo curse. He wanted to blame their laws but he knew better. They were in their land. He banged the back of his head against the pillow. Stupid idiot! Stupid idiot! Stupid idiot!

Still he wondered if that was the only reason why he didn't do it. It was so very tempting. To be free, to live his own life any way he wanted.

A shuffling sound brought his attention back to Kodachi. He noted she had turned to the side so that she was facing him. The smile was still on her face. The smile was so serene, so peaceful, so beautiful. No trace of madness or malice.

Whoa! She's awfully cute when she smiles like that. Ranma smiled again. What I wouldn't do to have all of them smile like that.

Then he knew. He would never run, never abandon them because of that smile. The smile he saw on Akane back when he first came. None of the anger on the tomboy's face. A simple smile yet it made everything beautiful, made everything right, made life worth living.

It made Ranma feel he could take anything and everything the world, hell, the universe could throw at him and win.

Ranma smiled wider, feeling his chest lighten, his decision made.

If helping Kodachi means I get to see that smile on her face everyday then it'll be more than worth it. He smirked. Funny. Never woulda thought Kodachi could make me feel that way.

He began to count off the things he knew about the pony-tailed gymnast.

Okay, I know she's sixteen, her father's Principal Kuno. Shudder. Brother's Tatewaki Kuno. Grimace. Loves her father but can't stand her brother. Smirk. Well, whaddya know, we actually have something in common. Filthy rich, studies at St. Hebereke School For Girls, practices Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics and pretty good at it. Likes to cook those french food and bake stuff, pretty good at it, too if it weren't for the drugs she puts in 'em. Has a pet alligator named Mr. Turtle and would feed anyone to it without a second thought. Shudder again. Has a fetish for black roses, loves to wear that leotard of hers, cheats at everything just to win, uses potions and powders. Has an unhealthy obsession for me. Unhealthy for me, anyway. Has that godawful laugh of hers. Shiver. And... what else?

Ranma blinked. That's all? That can't be all. I mean what's her favorite food? Her favorite movie? Her favorite ice cream flavor? He began to drool. Mmm, ice cream. What I wouldn't give to have some ice cream right now. I wonder if there's a twenty-four hour convenience store around here.

Ranma blinked. Idiot! Stop thinking 'bout food, damnit! He forced himself to think about the girl lying in front of him. He grimaced as he realized he didn't know much about Kodachi and he knew next to nothing about her past. If his mother didn't mention the tragedy that happened he would never have known about it. I wonder what Kodachi was like before that happened? He shook his head. I guess I really didn't get the chance to get to know her. That wasn't a surprise considering everything that happened between them. Still I shouldn't have judged her just like that without really getting to know her. He sighed. Guess I have my work cut out for me.

His thoughts wandered to Akane, the girl he spent the most time with. He tried to think of everything he knew about her. After several minutes he came to the realization that although he knew a lot about Akane, most of what he knew did not come from a conscious effort on his part to know about them.

Like he was almost sure the tomboy's favorite color was yellow because he noticed most of her stuff was of the color and not because he asked. Or her crush on Dr. Tofu. He would never have known about it if they didn't go there to get hot water. Well, at least I can say I'm sensitive enough to notice those things. Me, sensitive. Who woulda thought. Ranma chuckled. Nah, who am I kidding? It's still not an excuse for not making any effort to get to know Akane.

Then there was that time she wanted to play Juliet when she was little but her classmates forced her to play Romeo instead. If Kasumi hadn't brought out that photo album he would never have known. Ranma grinned. Probably why she gets so pissed off when I call her a tomboy. Or that Akane liked to watch scary movies if he didn't see her watch them all the time. His grin grew wider, remembering the times he snuck up on Akane while she was watching a horror movie alone and spooked the hell out of her. That was fun. Painful later but definitely fun. She sure can jump high when she wants to. Hehe.

I wonder what she was like when she was little also? Before and after their mother died? Before I came and messed up their lives.

He sighed. Their mother. If they hadn't gone to visit the grave yesterday he would never have known about their mother. Akane, Kasumi and Nabiki never did talk about her, did they? Even Mr. Tendou. Guess it's still too painful for them.

Is that why Akane is so angry all the time? Is she still blaming the world for taking her mother away and hurting her so much? He leaned his head back again. I did ask her if she didn't get tired of being angry all the time but I never did ask her why she was angry all the time. Come to think of it she never did answer my question. Couldn't be because of me. She was always angry before I even got here.

We never did talked much, did we? And the only time we went on a date was that time Nabiki became my fiancée and only because Nabiki had Akane switch with her.

He sighed again. If I didn't make the effort to know about Akane, what more with Shampoo or Ukyou? Come to think of it I never did get to know Kasumi and Nabiki much and I lived with the two for several months. The thought about Nabiki made him blush when he remembered the kiss. I oughta say sorry to her even if I didn't do it on purpose. No girl shoulda kiss someone they don't like. Now how do I say sorry to her? His thoughts flashed back to what his mother said when she learned what had happened in the Tendou that bothered him so much on his return.

He winced as he contemplated what Nabiki would accept for an apology. My wallet's gonna hurt big time. He wasn't sure the allowance his mother was giving him would be enough. I wonder if mom would lend me some money? Never hurt to ask. I just hope mom doesn't charge interest like Nabiki.

Now what do I do for Kasumi? She's always been so nice to me. Saving me meals, mending my clothes, treating my wounds, stuff like that. I really should do something nice for her. Something very nice. Hmmm... Give her a gift? Treat her out? Or both? Yeah, she deserves both for all she's done. Sheesh, I wonder how much mom will lend me?

With an outline of a plan on how to show his thanks to the two older Tendo girls in mind, Ranma turned his attention to the four girls interested in him.

Gotta be careful being friendly with Kodachi. I mean she looks cute and all when she's asleep but I dunno if she's still crazy or would still use potions and powders on me when she's awake. And I don't wanna lead her on or make her hope for nothin'. He wracked his brains for several minutes on how to go about it before giving up. Man, I'm no good at this. Either I make them wanna kill me or marry me. He snorted. Geez, you'd think making friends would be easy and simple but no, not for me. Mebbe it's a curse. He snorted again. With my luck it probably is. Guess I'll hafta ask mom for help on how to deal with Kodachi.

Now what can I do for Akane, Shampoo and Ukyou that's nice, show 'em how much they mean ta me and let me get to know 'em more? The answer was fairly obvious, even to him. He'd been asked enough times by Shampoo and Ukyou. Take them out on a date, of course. Yeah, that'll really make them happy.

Of course planning to take them out on a date and actually doing it were two very different things. One, there was the problem of asking them out in the first place.

Now how do I ask them out without them going at each other's throats or worse, my throat. Hmmm... Mebbe it's better if I take them out all together? He tried to imagine that. Him with the three girls on a date. He grinned as he thought about how jealous other guys would be when they see him with a beautiful girl on each arm. He blinked. Waitaminute. He counted his arms. One, two. He sighed, his ego-boosting fantasy bursting. Wouldn't work. Only have two arms for three girls. Probably, no, will end in a brawl. With me in the middle. He shuddered. He already had enough of that, thank you very much. So scratch that. I'll hafta take them out one at a time. So how do I ask them without them fighting over who I take out first? Draw straws. Yeah, that's it, like what they did at lunch the other day. I'll have them draw straws. Hope that's okay with them.

Then there was the problem of Ryouga, Kuno, Mousse and Tsubasa. Man, how do I take the girls on a date without those jerks getting wise to it? They're sure to come and ruin it. His eyebrows scrunched together as he tried to think up of a plan to keep his rivals from ruining his dates. Well, I suppose I can take the girls somewhere out of Nerima. Yeah, that'll help some. I'll ask mom where's a nice place to go on a date.

So what else? Mebbe I can ask the jerks nicely not to bother us? Yeah, right. Like that's ever gonna happen. Mebbe I shoulda just knock those jerks out before I go on the date? Ranma thought about the pros and cons of doing that. Nah, not my style and they're sure to go after me later to get back at me. He blinked. Why am I even worrying about that?! Of course they're gonna come after me once they hear I went out on a date with the girls whether or not I come after them first! He thought about it some more then shook his head reluctantly. Nah. Not really my style to go after people first. Even if the thought of it was very, very tempting. I'm just too damned nice.

Which means I'll hafta think of a way to stop them before they totally ruin the date when they bust in on it.

Kuno, Mousse and Tsubasa should be no problem. Kuno and Tsubasa are no match while I just hafta splash Mousse. I just hope I don't splash Shampoo accidentally. He shivered. That would really ruin the date. Ryouga, on the other hand, would be harder. The date would probably be ruined before I can put him down. Mebbe splash him also? Nah, too risky. Akane might see him turn into P-Chan. Then he'll really wanna kill me. Guess I can run and hope he gets lost following me. Yeah, knowing Ryouga that'll work.

Hmmm... what else? What else? Aha! Of course! He smacked his right fist into the palm of his left hand as he thought about the invisibility technique used by Happosai and his friend, Chengensai, to peep into women's bathhouses. Mebbe if I can improve on it so that I can make two people disappear I don't even hafta fight the idiots. Even better if I can fight while using the technique. At least they wouldn't be able see me. Yeah, that would make it easy to get rid of them. (1) He yawned and shook his head. Crap. Getting sleepy with nothin' to do but think. Better think about the technique in the morning.

With plans on how to go about going on a date in mind, Ranma turned his attention to what to do once on the date itself. Go to the park? Have a picnic? Go to a fair? See a movie? Have dinner? He groaned. Ugh! Man, having three fiancees and making 'em happy ain't gonna be cheap. I hope mom doesn't hafta sell anything when I ask her for money to take them out. Well, at least mom can't complain, it's her idea to be nice to the girls. He yawned again. Crap! Never thought it'd be this hard to stay awake. He leaned his head back against the pillow and closed his eyes. Mebbe just a little nap. Yeah, that sounds nice. Just a nice little, short nap. Another yawn and Ranma nodded off to a deep sleep dreaming of ice cream.

ooOOoo

In another part of Tokyo, located far from Nerima, the stillness of the early morning was broken by a pair of drunken voices.

"Hi-ho! Hi-ho! It'sh off to work we go!" Genma and Soun slurred as they tried to stagger home to the Tendou Dojo in their inebriated state at two in the morning. After they had been bodily thrown out from the tenth bar they had patronized, a rather dubious distinction considering it's clientele consisited of sailors and other roughnecks, the duo had finally decided to call it quits for the night. The small matter of having exhausted their cash may have something to do with the decision as well.

They had one of their arms around the other's shoulders while the other held a couple of bottles of sake by the bottles' necks as they zigged and zagged all over the road.

After an hour of staggering around in circles, the duo found themselves crossing a bridge. Soun called a stop as his bladder was demanding release.

"Shaotome-skun, I needs to go. Bad." He weaved his way towards the side of the bridge. Genma shrugged and followed his partner in crime.

They laid their bottles of sake on the hand railing as they prepared to empty their bladders into the river below. The two wobbled on their feet as their hands fumbled with the ties to their dogis. It was when Genma was finally able to untie his pants that disaster struck.

His fumbling fingers lost their grip and his dogi pants fell around his ankles just as he was taking a step towards the railing causing him to stumble. When his hands shot out to grab onto something they nudged the bottles of sake over the railing. Genma's eyes widened in horror.

"NNNNNNOOOOOO!!"

Genma would have been able to regain his balance if he didn't lunge for the sake bottles with his pants still around his ankles.

"Shaotome!" Soun shouted, horrified as he watched his best friend stumble over the railing into the river below. He quickly made a grab for his friend's legs with both his hands forgetting they the only things holding up his pants. Like Genma, Soun tripped and his hands automatically shot out to grab the closest objects to steady himself. Unfortunately, his hands went between his friend's legs and were wrapped up in Genma's dogi pants. Soun was dragged over the railing by his much heavier friend.

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

Crash!

Thud! Thud!

Fortunately for them a barge that was being pushed by a tugboat passed under the bridge right at that moment, saving them from possible drowning. Unfortunately for them, the fall knocked the two men unconscious for the next several hours.

Kimamura Kobuto was not having a good day and night. He had forgotten to pass on a message his captain's wife had given to him to give to her husband yesterday. The result was that Captain Nakamoto was not able to pick up his wife's parents from the airport. Kimamura's captain had his ass royally chewed out by his wife last night and arrived at work in a very foul mood. Captain Nakamoto proceeded to take out his frustration on the hapless Kimamura. Kimamura had never worked as hard as the day before and that day wasn't over yet. So it was understandable that when Soun screamed and the two friends fell into the barge Kimamura's tugboat was pushing, Kimamura was half-asleep. Kimamura blearily raised his head off the wheel and looked around. He thought he heard something. When he saw nothing through the windows he groggily went out the side of the wheelhouse and looked around the little ship and towards the barge. When he again saw nothing amiss he shrugged and went back inside. Must have imagined it. He leaned against the wheel and tried not to think of sleep. I need some coffee.

Even more unfortunate for the pair and unknown to the crew of the tug, the barge being pushed by Kimamura's tug was among a group of garbage barges under an unscrupulous contract to be transported to a third world country. It was being pushed towards a rendezvous with a ship in thirty minutes that would tow it with the other garbage barges towards an international destination.

ooOOoo

The sun had yet to rise when Nodoka rose from her bed. She put on a robe over her nightgown and went to check on the two teen-agers. She opened the door as silently as possible and poked her head in. She smiled when she saw Kodachi sleeping peacefully with smile, curled up to one side facing her son.

She frowned when she saw her son sleeping while leaning against the wall, his head cocked to the right side and with his mouth open. She noted with a smirk the wet condition of the blanket under the right corner of his mouth, a drop of drool hanging from it.

Watch over her, indeed! She would have taken a picture if she didn't fear the flash would wake the sleeping girl.

As with opening, she quietly closed the door and padded down to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for three and to warm water for the bath. She hummed a happy tune as she went about her business. I wonder where my husband and Soun went. I hope they didn't make too much of a fool of themselves. Knowing my husband that's too much to hope for.

ooOOoo

On a garbage barge out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, a seagull looked curiously at the two unconscious, half-naked men lying among the trash. It was wondering whether or not the wormy-looking thing poking out from a dark bush each man had between their legs would make a tasty morsel.

ooOOoo

Ranma stirred when he smelled the wonderful aroma wafting up from the kitchen. He smiled and drooled a little more. Yum. Smells delicious. I wonder what mom's cooking? He stood and stretched, popping several joints in the process. He was about to leave when he saw the sleeping girl. He grimaced as he suddenly recalled what he was supposed to be doing. Great. Can't even get a simple thing like watching over someone right. I hope mom didn't see me sleeping on the job. He plopped right down back on his beddings. Well, at least she didn't have that damned nightmare again. He continued to watch Kodachi as he tried to remember his thoughts before he fell asleep. He saw the gymnast start to wake as well.

Kodachi slowly returned to world of the living. She fluttered her eyelids open. Her features became confused as she saw an unfamiliar ceiling overhead. Where am I? She became aware she was not in her own bed or bedroom. She was about to sit up to look around when a voice drew her attention.

“Good mornin'.”

She gasped when she saw who greeted her. “Ranma-sama?” Is this a dream?

“Yeah, it's me. How're ya feeling, Kodachi?”

“I-I am well, Ranma-sama. Where am I?” She asked before sitting up.

“You're in my home, Kodachi. Uh, doncha remember what happened yesterday?”

“Yesterday, Ranma-sama?” The girl's eyebrows came together as she concentrated. “I remember coming here to present myself to your mother, then the red-headed hussy came and then...” Kodachi's voice fell away as the events the day before came crashing back. Her eyes widened. “No.” She whispered. “It can't be.” She looked with wild eyes at the pig-tailed boy.

Ranma became worried at the sudden change in Kodachi's demeanor. He cautiously came near. “Kodachi, are ya alright?” He asked gently. When the gymnast did not respond he lightly shook the girl.

Kodachi came to with a start. She saw Ranma had come closer. She grabbed his hands. “Ranma-sama! Tell me it's not true! Tell me you are not the red-headed girl!”

Ranma's voice was soft and quiet. “I'm sorry, Kodachi, but it's true. Me and the 'red-headed hussy' ya hate so much are one and the same. I tried ta tell ya that at the match we had several months ago.”

“So it wasn't a horrible nightmare.” The revelation, her flight, the chase, the fight, her fall, her rescue. Her rescue. Kodachi gently touched the spot on her arms where Ranma had cradled her when she, no, he had rescued her for the second time. This time despite the mortal danger to himself. She could not deny the truth any longer. Only one man would ever do that for her. She looked into Ranma's eyes. “How? Why?”

The boy sighed. Explaining his curse to other people was one of the things he didn't like about it. If people weren't repulsed by it, they felt sorry for him. He wanted neither. Very few people simply accepted it. Good old Ucchan although I could have done without all the splashing she gave me.

“It was a training accident, Kodachi. My pop,” The idiot. He silently added to himself. “brought me to this cursed training ground, Jusenkyo, in China he read about in a training manual. There were hundreds of springs with bamboo poles sticking outta them. Each pool has it's own tragic story of someone or something drowning in it. Now whoever falls into a spring will turn into the last thing that drowned in it when splashed with cold water. We were stupid enough not ta listen to the guide before we started training. I fell into the 'spring of drowned girl.' Hot water turns me back into a boy.”

“How horrible! How could your father be so irresponsible!”

Ranma snorted. 'Cos he's a stupid idiot. “I really don't wanna talk 'bout it, Kodachi.”

The girl was contrite. “I-I'm sorry if I offended you, Ranma-sama. Please, please do not be angry with me.” She nearly begged.

Ranma waved his hands in a frenzy. “No! No! I'm not angry at ya! Honest!” When Kodachi calmed down he continued. “It's just that I don't like it when people make a big deal outta the curse. It's bad enough as it is without people getting' all worked up over it. I don't need people ta think I'm a freak.”

Kodachi smiled softly. Ranma was showing a side of him he had never shown her before. “Yes, the curse should not matter. You are still Ranma-sama whether you are a boy or a girl.”

Ranma felt relieved. He smiled back at the girl. “Thanks, Kodachi. I'm glad ya understand.”

Kodachi felt her heart beat faster at the smile. It was the first time Ranma had ever smiled at her. She swallowed thickly. “Ranma-sama, why did you run after me when I fled? You have never done so before.” Kodachi asked with some hope in her voice. She saw a look of shame come over the boy's face.

“Actually, Kodachi, it was my mom who told me ta go after ya.”

“Oh.” Kodachi felt deeply disappointed. She looked away. “You would not have come after me if your mother did not tell you to?” Do I really mean nothing to you, Ranma-sama?

Ranma reacted predictively. “NO! I mean, YES! Yes, I would have come after ya even if mom didn't say so!”

Kodachi looked sharply back at her host. “Do not toy with my feelings, Ranma-sama! Why?! You never have before!”

Ranma looked down. “That was before, Kodachi. Before I knew...” His voice trailed off.

“Knew what, Ranma-sama?”

“About what happened to ya, Kodachi, when you were little. When yer mother was...” He could not finish.

Kodachi blinked. Is he referring to...? “Was raped and murdered, Ranma-sama?”

“Yes.”

“I do not need your pity, Ranma-sama.”

“NO! It ain't pity, Kodachi!”

“If not pity then what is it, Ranma-sama?”

“I dunno, Kodachi, but I don't feel the same way I've felt 'bout ya. I wanna be friends, Kodachi.”

The girl's eyes softened. It certainly was different from before. Before he would run away screaming from me. She decided it would do for now. She smiled. “Friends. I would vey much like that, Ranma-sama.”

Ranma smiled back making Kodachi's heart skip again. “Thanks, Kodachi.”

“N-No, Ranma-sama, it is I who should be thanking you and your mother.”She positioned herself properly in front of the boy and bowed deeply, touching her forehead to her hands, to the only man she would ever consider prostrating herself before. “Thank you very much, Ranma-sama, for everything you've done for me.”

Ranma was quick to raise the girl up from her position. “Ah, ya don't hafta do that, Kodachi. Just a simple 'thanks' would be enough for me.”

Kodachi looked deep into the boy's eyes making him squirm. Ranma became very conscious of their proximity as he held her arms in his hands while they knelt close together. She smiled 'the smile' sending butterflies into his stomach. “Ranma-sama.” She breathed before closing her eyes and leaning in.

Ranma's eyes widened in panic as he realized what Kodachi wanted to do. He teleported away and stuck to the wall. “Uh, no need to do... Kodachi!” He teleported back to catch the girl before she fell flat on her face. Only problem was he slipped on his blanket and slid under Kodachi as he was scrambling to catch her. He found himself lying on the floor with Kodachi on top and still leaning in to kiss him. Ranma pressed his head back hard into the floor making the floor boards creak in a futile effort to delay the inevitable. No! No! No! It's not supposed ta be this way!

He was saved when his mother slid open the door, drawing Kodachi's attention. Both teen-agers blinked before they quickly separated and withdrew to a more appropriate distance.

“Mo-mom!” Ranma squeaked out as he looked at the intruder from where he knelt. Thank God!

“Saotome-san!” Kodachi exclaimed in surprise. Oh, no! Ranma-sama's mother must think I'm a brazen hussy to act so bold in her home! She thought in horror as she knelt demurely with her head down while nervously twirling her fingers in her lap.

Which was the farthest thing in Nodoka's mind. She blinked at the scene she walked in on. Oh, my! My son is so manly! She smiled grandly. “Oh! Excuse me. I'm sorry if I interrupted anything. Please continue.” she said making Ranma's eyes bug out. She took a step back out into the hallway and was about to close the door when Ranma bolted out the opening.

“N-No, mom! Uh, I mean, it's okay! Ya didn't interrupt anything! I was just 'bout ta leave! Yeah, that's it! I was just 'bout ta leave and, and get ready for school! Yeah! I hafta get ready for school!” He ran to his room leaving both women to stare after him. “Ya take care of Kodachi, mom, and I'll meet ya at the table! See ya!” He yelled over his shoulder.

Nodoka's kimono whipped around her and she had to brace herself against the sudden gust of wind her son's hasty exit kicked up. She clucked her tongue and shook her head. One day I will have to break my son of that shyness of his if I ever hope to have grandchildren. Really! You'd think by the way he reacts women eat men. Oh, well. At least he's taking my talk about school to heart. She stepped back into the guest room bearing a change of clothes for their female guest. She knelt in front of the girl and smiled kindly.

“I apologize for my son's behavior, Dachi. He can be painfully shy at times.”

“Wha- Oh!” Kodachi came to with a start after she realized someone was speaking to her. “No need to apologize, Saotome-san.”

“Oh, but I must. My son's conduct was rude.” The woman paused. “How are you feeling, Dachi?”

“I-I feel fine, Saotome-san.”

“Please, Dachi, it would honor me if you called me 'Auntie' like the rest of my son's friends.”

“I-I would like that, Sa..., Auntie.”

Nodoka's smile widened. She brought out the kimono she had chosen. “I hope this meets with your approval, Dachi-chan. Oh! I hope you don't mind me calling you Dachi-chan.”

“I-I don't mind, Auntie.” Kodachi stuttered. The name brought back memories of another woman who called her by that name. “It, It would be my honor.”

“Thank you, Dachi-chan. Now, what do you think of this kimono?”

“You do not have to bother with me, Auntie. I should leave.”

“Non-sense, Dachi-chan! You are not a bother. In fact it pleases me greatly to be able to do this.”

“Why? Why are you treating me so kindly, Auntie?”

“Why shouldn't I treat you kindly, Dachi-chan?”

“No one ever has.” Kodachi didn't count her father and Sasuke.

“Perhaps. But that does not mean I should not.” The smile never left her face.

“I, I do not know what to say, Auntie.”

“You do not have to say anything. Now we really should get you changed. Breakfast is already waiting.”

Kodachi's eyes watered and she bowed deeply again. “Thank you. You don't know how much this means to me.”

“Now, now. Dachi-chan. There is no need to do that.” She lifted the girl up. “Come.”

“Aun-Auntie?”

“Yes, Dachi-chan?”

“May, may I stay with you? Just for today. I do not feel like attending school today.”

“Yes, of course. I welcome your company.”

“Thank you.”

“Now, now. What did I say? Although, there is a little problem.”

“What would that be, Auntie?”

“Whatever shall we do about your underwear?”

Kodachi colored as she realized she did not have a change of her undergarments.

ooOOoo

Ranma was already waiting at the table when his mother and their house guest climbed down the stairs. Kodachi was wearing one of his mother's kimono's.

She looks nice now. Not like before.

He watched as his mother and the girl sat down opposite him. He waited for his mother to serve them both their rice.

“Um, ya look nice, Kodachi.” He complimented her causing the girl's cheeks to redden.

His mother and the girl smiled. “Thank you, Ranma-sama.”

No wonder girls are falling are over themselves going after my son. He can be such a charmer.

“Uh, ya can just call me Ranma, Kodachi.”

“Only if you call me Dachi, Ranma-sama.”

Alarm bells were ringing all over the boy's head. He wanted to say no but... “Um, sure, Ko... I mean, Dachi.” The girl blushed. “Uh, watcha plan on doing today?”

“Your mother has allowed me to stay with her today. I do not feel like attending school today.”

“Oh. Ya ain't sick or nothin', are ya?”

“No, Ranma, but thank you for your concern. I just need time to contemplate over the recent events.”

“Ah. Um, that's good, right? Didn't want ya to get sick or nothin'. Uh, mom?”

“Yes, son.”

“I forgot ta ask ya yesterday but Ucchan asked me ta ask ya if ya wanna go shopping with her this afternoon?”

“Of course. You may tell Ucchan I would be happy to accompany her.”

“Ah, okay. I'll bring Ucchan over after school.”

“That won't be necessary, Ranma. I'll just go to your school later and meet her there.”

“Nah, Ucchan insisted she come over. She said she wanna see our house.”

“Oh. That's fine then.” Nodoka remembered they had a guest. “Do you want to accompany us, Dachi-chan? I'm sure we'll have more fun that way. In fact why don't you invite the other girls, Ranma?”

Ranma nearly swallowed his chopsticks which was a good thing since it prevented him from putting his foot into his mouth. Are ya freakin' nuts, mom?! We won't have a house left standing if they all come here at the same time!

“I do not know, Auntie. We do not have a cordial relationship with one another.”

“Nonsense, Dachi-chan. I'm sure we'll all have a wonderful time together. Shopping is one of those activities that transcends differences among girls.”

“If you insist, Auntie.”

“I insist.” Nodoka turned her attention to her son. “Ranma, I expect you to invite Akane and Shampoo. Kasumi and Nabiki also if they are available.” She ignored the pallor her son suddenly developed .

ooOOoo

Ranma was lost in thought thinking on how to explain the happenings at his house to his three fiancées, especially the presence of Kodachi, while roof-hopping towards school. They're sure to find out sooner or later. Not that I've got anything ta hide. Yeah, I'll think of something later. He shifted his thoughts to the more pressing concern of the girls' anger over what transpired the night before. How am I gonna stay alive long enough ta act nice ta 'em? He was leaping over several yattai when inspiration suddenly struck him. I'm such a genius! He made a slight detour as he went in search of some items.

Ranma arrived at Furinkan a little later compared to the day before due to his little side trip. When he got to the gates to the school he saw Kuno was already waiting for him inside the school grounds. Ranma groaned the instant he saw the kendoist.

Great! Just great! He's all I need! He checked to make sure what he bought would be safe in his 'pocket'. After watching Mousse, Shampoo, Ryouga, Akane and even Nabiki pull objects out of seemingly thin air enough times Ranma was finally able to do it himself although not at the same level as the near blind martial artist. He usually just kept his shoes there when he changed into a girl. He still couldn't figure out how Mousse could fit so much in his 'pocket'.

When Ranma was done checking he looked at the upperclassman who stood blocking the way .

"Hold, Saotome." Kuno imperiously ordered his arch-rival while pointing his bokken at Ranma. The effect was ruined by the fact that he was again covered in bandages from head to toe which muffled his voice.

Ranma sighed. There was just no getting around the upperclassman. Man, ain't there a way to knock some sense into this jerk? Mebbe I oughta drop him from a tall building also. Nah. Ain't no way I'm gonna catch the pervert. "Watcha want, Kuno? Make it quick 'cos I ain't got no time ta waste on ya."

"That's 'upperclassman Kuno' to you, you vile miscreant! Have you no limit to your depravity?"

Ranma blinked. "What?"

"First the beauteous Akane Tendou, next the pig-tailed goddess, then the heavenly Ukyou Kounji and now the noble swordswoman! I shall smite thee and end your reign of terror over women!" Kuno charged the younger boy.

Ranma blinked again. He didn't recognize the last girl Kuno accused him of enslaving. "'Noble swordswoman'? Who the heck is that?" The unarmed boy asked while dodging the slash of the bokken.

"Silence! Your lies do not fool the noble Blue Thunder!"

Slash.

Dodge.

"But I'm telling ya I don't know what yer talking 'bout!"

Stab and sidestep.

The hakama-clad teen paused in his attack as he stood straight, bokken at the side, left arm bent at the elbow with fist clenched and tears streaming done his cheeks. "How could anyone not know of the lovely woman who practices the same art as I? It is fate that has brought us together and you shall not keep us apart!"

“Kendo?” Now who do I know that practices kendo? Can't be Akane. His eyes widened when he realized he only knew of one other woman who praticed the art of the sword. “Kuno, ya sick pervert! That's my mom yer talking 'bout!”

Kuno blinked “Your mom?” He asked.

“Yeah! And you stay away from her!”

“You are even more depraved that I have thought, Saotome! To enslave your own mother for your pleasures!”

Ranma gagged. He drop-kicked the kendoist. “I'm not a sick, twisted pervert like ya, Kuno!”

Kuno blinked again after he picked himself up. “So you have no intention of enslaving her then? You are acknowledging my superior claim to her?”

Pap!

Ranma planted a foot into Kuno's face. “No! Get it into yer thick head, Kuno. I'm gonna say this just once. She's my mom! Ya stay away from her! Ya can harass and insult me all ya want but stay away from my mom!” He was bewildered when Kuno suddenly draped his left arm over his shoulders in a very familiar manner.

“But son.” Ranma spasmed at that. “How can I deny your mother's desires for myself. She has clearly shown her yearnings for my touch when she so boldly removed my garments in public.” The lecherous grin Kuno gave Ranma sent convulsions through the younger boy.

“Get away from me, ya sick, twisted pervert!”

Punt!

Ranma huffed after he kicked the kendoist away. He didn't care which way the other boy went. He shuddered. I'm gonna be sick for sure! Calling me 'son' fer cryin' out loud! I'd rather be dead! He shook his head viloently to rid it of the images the upperclassman's words had conjured.

ooOOoo

With Kuno taken care of for the moment, Ranma went to sit by the steps to wait for the girls. He didn't have long to wait until he saw Akane and Nabiki round the corner to the school.

Okay, Ranma, showtime. He told himself to build his courage. He again checked on the items in his 'pocket'. Satisfied the items were still in good condition he stood and walked to meet the two Tendou sisters. He braced himself for the expected reaction from his 'uncute' fiancée.

“Good morning, Ranma!” Akane cheerfully greeted her fiancé when they were close enough causing the pig-tailed boy to stumble and her sister to smirk at her side. That certainly wasn't what the expected reaction he was waiting for.

Ranma looked around. Maybe there's another Ranma I don't know about. When he saw no one whose name he didn't know, he turned back to Akane.

“Akane?”

“Yes, Ranma?”

Ranma felt like he just swallowed a heaping tablespoon of sugar. “Uh, are ya feelin' alright?”

“Of course, why shouldn't I feel all right?”

Make that two heaping tablespoons of sugar. “Um, well, with what happened last night I thought...”

Akane cut him off. “Oh, the kiss? Don't worry about it.” She smiled cutely.

Ranma was beside her in a flash gripping her shoulders and shaking her. “Alright, who are ya and what have ya done with the real Akane?”

Nabiki groaned and planted her forehead in her hand. Ranma, you idiot! Not that I can blame you. She looked at her younger sister who was beginning to turn red in anger. Oh, well. Better save his butt. “Ranma?” When the boy didn't acknowledge her and continued to shake her sister she came closer and yelled in his ear. “RANMA!!”

Ranma let go of Akane and shook his head to clear the ringing in his ear. “What? Can't ya see I'm busy, Nabiki?”

“Yes, I can see you're very busy digging your own grave.” Nabiki pointed to her younger sibling.

Ranma looked back at his fiancée who was now glowing blue. “Uh-oh.” He began to back away.

Nabiki stepped aside to avoid becoming collateral damage. “Uh-oh is so right, Saotome.”

Akane was visibly shaking in an effort to control herself. “You jerk! I was trying to be nice to you!” She stalked towards the boy.

“Uh, you were?” Ranma intelligently answered back, waving his hands in a warding manner while continuing to back-pedal. “Um, why?”

“Why?! What kind of stupid question is that?! Do I have to have a reason to be nice to my fiancé?! Can't I be nice to you without you asking me dumb questions?! Don't you want me to be nice to you?!” Akane shrieked.

“I do! I do! I really do!” Ranma desperately said while nodding his head vigorously. Think! Think quickly, dumbass! He remembered what he bought earlier. The roses! Give her the roses quick, dumbass! He quickly reached into his 'pocket' and brought out three of the long-stemmed red roses he bought before going to Furinkan. He shoved them into Akane's face. “Here! These are for ya! Take it! Take it!” Idiot! Yer not supposed to shove them into the girl's face! That's real romantic! Something occurred to him. Thank God I had the thorns removed!

“What are you doing, you jerk?!” Akane was about to swat the roses aside when her mind registered what were in her face. She blinked and pulled her head back to get a better look. Roses? Red roses? Three red roses? Ranma's giving me three red roses?! Ranma's giving me three red roses on his own?! She looked back and forth between the flowers and the boy attached to the roses. Her mind sputtered to a halt while her mouth began to imitate a goldfish at the sudden shift in events and improbability of that happening.

Ranma cautiously peeked from behind the roses and looked at his fiancée. “Uh, don't ya want them?” He asked nervously. When Akane didn't answer and continued to gape he pulled back the roses and waved a hand in front of the girl's face. “Akane?” When he received no response he looked at Nabiki for help. Unfortunately the older girl was also in shock and gaping at the sudden, unexpected twist in the morning drama. He looked around. What's with the stupid look on everyone? Ya'd think they never saw a guy give a girl roses before.

He shifted his attention back to the youngest Tendou. Now what do I do? Ranmawas stopped from pinching Akane's nose by the arrival of Ukyou.

“Ranchan honey!”

Ranma whipped around, greatly relieved. “Ucchan! Am I glad to see ya!”

“You are?!” He's glad to see me!

Clamp!

Ukyou latched onto Ranma's left arm. She smiled widely up at him.

“Uh, yeah.” He brought up the roses he held in his right hand to gesture around him causing Ukyou's eyes to go wide. He was about to say something about the condition of the people around them when Ukyou snatched the roses from his hand and hugged them to herself.

He was going to give me roses! Three long-stemmed red roses! I'm so, so happy! She enthusiastically hugged her fiancé. “Thank you, Ranchan! Thank you so much for the roses!” This is it! A perfect opportunity to kiss him! She was about to give Ranma a kiss on the lips when Ranma opened his mouth.

“Uh, Ucchan, those roses are for Akane.”

The kiss died on Ukyou's lips as her happiness was cruelly shattered. Tears began to pool in her eyes. “The-they're for Akane? N-not for me?” She asked with quivering lips. How could you?! How could you give roses to Akane and not to me?! Don't I mean anything to you?!

When Ranma saw the tears in Ukyou eyes he began to panic. “NO! I mean... Ucchan, wait!” He shouted as the girl ran off in tears, dropping th