Ok so this just came to me one day and I thought sure might as well write it! And this has got to be the dumbest authors note in the history of authors notes, so I'll just be starting the story now.

Disclaimer: I owned Pirates of the Caribbean for a while..and then I woke up.

This is set in a present dayish Port Royal, because it works with the story.

~*~

Jack Sparrow, infamous pirate captain of the black pearl, hottest pirate captain in the Caribbean, and fear of the royal navy, stood in a shopping mall in Port Royal. Well, it was actually more like THE shopping mall, since it was the only shopping mall in Port Royal. Shoppers milled about talking with friends, buying low fat, low sugar, low carbs, and basically low taste. They were also of course SHOPPIONG! And shopping means many people carrying around purses and people carrying purses means money!

There was also a certain young, gorgeous, HOT blacksmith/pirate, named Will Turner. He stood with Jack gazing at the shoppers.

"Now Will," Jack was saying, "In order to be a pirate the first and most important thing you have to learn is how to steal. See all these girls here?" Will nodded. "See how they all have purses?" Again, Will nodded. "What you need to do is steal one of their purses without them seeing you. Like this!" Jack walked by a girl looking at a shelf full of make-up. As he walked past her he swiftly grabbed her purse from the ground where she had set it. After walking in a circle he soon returned to Will, and opened the purse. Inside was a wallet containing 50 dollars. "Got it?"

"I think so," said Will, confidently.

"Good! Now I'll pick your first victim..." Jack scanned the crowd looking for someone for Will to rob. He finally found a girl sitting alone drinking one of those disgusting smoothies. Her purse was slung over her chair behind her. Jack pointed at her. "You see that girl?" Will nodded. "Take her purse!"

Will walked towards the girl. When he got to the table he bent down to pick up the purse. But right at that moment the girl pushed back her chair to get up and Will tripped over the leg of the chair. "Ooof!" Will cried when he hit the ground.

From over where he was standing, Jack silently shook his head as he watched Will. Will soon came back, and gave Jack an apologetic smile. Jack just shook his head again. "Let's try this we?" Jack asked Will, who nodded eagerly.

"Alright! Now I want you to watch me again, and see how I do it," Jack said as he walked to another girl and swiftly snatched her purse. "Now you try!" he said as he returned to Will.

Will strode away with confidence, and walked past a girl and had a hand on her purse, when the girl turned around.

The girl's eyes made huge O shapes and she started drooling a little.

"Um...Hi?" was all Will said. The girl kept on drooling, and managed to talk at the same time, so she was able to spit all over Will.

Will wiped the girls drool from his eyes. "I'm sorry what was that?"

The girl swallowed before asking, "Is there anything I can do for you oh wonderful god of blacksmithy hotness?"

Will's face brightened at this. "Um, actually I'm learning to be a pirate and I'm trying to steal someone's purse...do you think you could help me?"

"That I can! Here! Take my purse!" the girl said before thrusting the purse in Will's hands.

Will surprised at how easy stealing was went back to Jack, who just stood with his head in his hands. Will held the purse out to Jack triumphantly. Jack just sighed.

About two hours later Jack had ten rings, three necklaces, and four bracelets. And he got all this just from showing Will how to do it. Will had...well, he had nothing. Though he tried and tried he just couldn't get the hang of it. Finally Jack was getting tired of trying to teach Will how to steal, and told Will that he could have one final chance before he went home.

Will crept up on his prey, fingers twitching with anticipation. When he finally got close enough he reached out and snatched the purse. He then ran back to Jack with his treasure.

"Great job Will! Now lets see what you got!" Jack opened up the purse and at once his smile disappeared. He reached in the purse. "Well excellent job Will!" he said in a sarcastic tone. "You managed to steal...four dollars, some lipstick, and math homework! Great bloody job!" Jack threw the purse down and stormed off.

Will looked after Jack his lower lip quivering, "But...but it wasn't my fault..."

~*~ Poor Will! Make him feel better by reviewing!

Next Lesson: Walking and talking like a pirate.