|One More Time
Author: Yume-damo-shirinai PM
Subaru is devastated after the events of Rainbow bridge and is approached by Fuma with a offer. He gets one more chance with Seishirou to make his wish come true, but there is a catch. He won't remember anything after Seishirou left him 9 years ago...Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 18,624 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 06-06-04 - Published: 02-08-04 - id: 1724353
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: Hey everyone! I know you'll all probably be mad at me for posting this up first and not updating instead but I've been dying to post this and get it out of my head for months. Maybe it's because recently, I've become obsessed with X again, I don't know… But I've wondered what Subaru might have been thinking after the incident at Rainbow Bridge. Well this prelude is my insights on his thoughts and feelings after Seishirou left him. Anyway, just and enjoy and some feedback is appreciated. Thanks!
Disclaimer: why am I putting this up?? Ughh.. I don't own Subaru ,Seishirou or any of the other characters in X.CLAMP does….. Sigh.
One-shot: Falling Snow : Aftermath
I sit on a chair in my apartment. Everything in it all bleak, black and empty. It's not surprising that that's how I feel right now. People have said what you find in people's rooms reflect their personality.
Everything is all standing still right now , my mind is forever stuck in that memory. Why couldn't you have just killed me right then and there? I was lagging, and you knew it didn't you?….Instead, you chose to die…like Hokuto and leave me here on this desolated place alone.
I can't cry anymore. I've already cried all I had left out. It's always like this isn't it? You crush my heart, smile, and walk away as if nothing happened. Now, when it was time to crush my heart for the last time, you instead forced me to crush your own-literally.
All I wanted…was to be killed by you, to die by your hands. That was my wish. Feeling your warm hands plunged into my chest and penetrating my heart, I would have smiled and gladly died right there. But instead, I became the killer and you took my place as the victim.
Maybe I should die now. Drown in my own tears and misery. I can't turn back time. Even if I did, I probably wouldn't have been able to change anything. It would still be the same. The same fate unchanging and relentless.
I wonder what Hokuto would say to me if she saw me now. She'd probably berate me for sitting around, doing nothing letting life pass me by. Then she'd tell me to find something to live for and be happy. But how much longer did I have to live on? Without the people I loved most in my life, without the only thing that would have made me truly happy?
I guess that all I have left now are those bittersweet memories from the past, of days long gone. The past where you were that kind veterinarian and I was just a naïve teenager. I would do anything to have those days back again, even if you weren't the kind person I thought of you as. I would sell my soul to the devil, go to hell and back just to have you back again.
Even if you killed my sister, I can't hate you. I couldn't erase your memory from my heart and move on in life. We were the opposites of a coin, good and evil, black and white; sworn enemies. But I couldn't hate you, couldn't kill you. When you said that I was a kind person, is this what you meant?
Those last moments play over and over in my head again, never-ending. Your last words haunt me, echo in my head, repeating over and over again. The dead don't return to life…but even in death you still haunt me, torture me.
Did you say those last words of yours to torture me, knowing I would never expect you to say that? Knowing you would die and I would never get the truth from you?
I don't want to think about it anymore. My hands are numb, unfeeling, my eyes unfocused, seeing nothing. My ear s deaf, hearing nothing. I just sit there like and empty shell, my heart beating on even though my consciousness is slowly dying. Even as I stare out my window now, watching the fallen snow slowly drift towards the ground, where you are; I can't let you go …. Because I'll forever keep you locked in a little corner of my heart.
To be cont….
A/N: How was it? I guess it could have been longer… Maybe I'll edit it another day. It would be nice to get some feedback! Thanks, and I better get back to my other fic before people start trying to kill me.
Preview of next chappie"
"Your wish… it can't be granted you know." Subaru said nothing as he acknowledged the Dragon of Earth with expressionless eyes.
"But… since that is your wish. I can give you one more chance to fulfill it."
Subaru's eyes flickered for a moment. Then his lips moved slightly and he said,