Medieval people believed in an arbitrarily rotating “wheel of fortune” that could swing in any direction at any time. Someone on top could plunge to the bottom at a moment’s notice.

I find it ironic that, although it is you who is dead and I who am alive, you have found yourself at the top of that wheel and I have foundmyself at the bottom. For while you are no doubt enjoying a rapturous afterlife, I am still here, constantly reminded that I will never see you, or hold you, or hear your laugh again.

That one fateful day, I came so close to joining you in death.

Sometimes, my beloved Sha’re, I wish I had.