Authors note at end! Please Read!

The Long Road Home

Chapter 8

By Jenna Black

When she retuned to the circle it was to find a very angry mob. A golden band of light had encircled everyone; no one was near enough to touch a stone. Severus was the only one outside of the circle, his wand obviously supplying the power for the band. Seeing her he flicked his wand, and she found herself gliding helplessly into the throng. "Snape! Let us out of here!" She heard Harry and Neville yell to her left.

"As soon as you calm down I will." He replied, keeping his voice as even as possible. "Every moment you fight is another moment you will not return. We must form teams and search the castle swiftly and thoroughly. We must find those missing as quickly as possible." When Harry and Neville remained silent he let them each out of the circle. Rapidly, they called off names in twos and threes, sending each group to a different part of the caves to search, with orders to meet in the Main Camber upon completion of their area. Hermione was sent with Remus and Severus to search the Potions Corridor and Library.

Quickly walking to the stone that said Potions Laboratory: 1; Hermione noted the stones were not as evident as before. Many more were blank, and some containing writing had been broken, the writing barely legible at times. What will find when we get there? She thought to herself as she touched the stone, praying at least some of the Hogwarts Caves that she had grown to know would be there.

Opening her eyes she let out the breath she had been holding. The Laboratory was the same; it hadn't been bothered at all. Moving quickly they made their way down the corridor, find undisturbed labs all along the way.

"The runes seem to have hidden this corridor from the Death Eaters" Remus said, opening another door and finding another empty room. They quickly finished the corridor, and Hermione's chest loosened a little bit as they did.

When she entered the library, however, her heart broke. Bookcases had fallen, piles of books were left smoldering; some were little more than piles of ashes. The smell of smoke was choking her, stinging her eyes and drying her throat. She heard Severus speak something under his breath, and she noticed the smoke began funneling away through the closed window. After a few moments most of the smoke had disappeared and they could see the clearly enough to risk searching it. They made their way slowly across the room, extinguishing those flames that remained, looking for any of the missing people, or any sign of their capture. The work was slow going, picking their way around uneven piles of books, looking through fallen bookshelves, righting tables and chairs as they went. As they reached the end of the room Severus tersely said "Silence". Stopping instantly, Hermione heard a woman's whimpers, followed by the sound of breathing. Following the sound, they lead her down one of the few book aisles that hadn't been compromised with the collapsing bookshelves.

Curled into a corner was a woman, naked and badly beaten; whether she was unconscious or simply sleeping after her ordeal couldn't immediately be seen. Rushing to her quickly, Hermione took stock of her injuries as Remus and Severus set to work healing her. This has to be Bela, Hermione thought, a pretty smiling girl when they had met at the party. Her hair was normally blond, but now appeared brown from the dried blood matting it. Both eyes were swollen shut, and the way her mouth was swollen she wouldn't be surprised if her jaw was broken. A long gash was across her neck. They had slit her throat, Hermione thought it was her good luck they had missed the carotid artery. It had partially healed, or at the very least was no longer pumping out blood. Hermione's stomach turned over at the sight of the bites and bruises liberally applied all over Bela's body, and she truly expected to lose her stomach at the sight of a gash that followed from the top of her collarbone, across her chest and down across her right hip. She was certain the Death Eaters had violated her, thinking back to the party she placed Bela's age at 20 or 21, a calm girl, more serious than most girls her age but given what the world was now she wouldn't be that way for long. She was pretty, and for all her seriousness she had an innocent aura about her Hermione knew the Death Eaters would have salivated over. "Poor child" She muttered under her breath. As they finished up with the basic healing, she moved away from the trio, and slowly unbuttoned her robes. Working quickly she used a severing charm to split the garment in half, and soon after had a serviceable robe for herself and a blanket to wrap around Bela.

"Here, wrap her in this." She said, handing the blanket to the boys. Severus took the blanket from her, looking her up and down as he did. Nodding silently, Remus performed the Levicorpus spell, and wrapped the blanket around her gently.

Silently making their way to the infirmary, Hermione noticed the damage as they went. The wards still shone along the wall, though some of them looked distorted, and blackened are if set aflame. Scorch marks were everywhere, and holes were etched into the hallways. Most of the rooms they passed were either torn apart, burnt, or some combination of the two. Some of the places where she knew there used to be a room now just contained blank expanses of wall. Those were the rooms that were so destroyed that they no longer really existed.

Walking into the infirmary Bela was gently unwrapped from her blanket, and put on a bed. Poppy Pomfrey rushed over pulling the curtains around them and shoo-ing Severus and Remus out. "You stay Hermione." She stated quickly, "I may need some assistance." Working methodically, Poppy started at the worst gash across her chest and never ceased her wand movements until the smallest bruise on her wrists had disappeared, whispering an unknown language all the way. "Now the difficult part" Poppy muttered. "I have to heal her insides" Casting a spell that sounded to Hermione like Reviaso, Bela's forehead, left knee, and several places on her stomach and chest started pulsing red. "The head is concussed," Poppy diagnosed clinically "And the knee is broken. Her kidneys have taken a beating and there is some damage to her ribs; several are broken, though some may just be bruised. I'll be keeping her out for a least the next few days, if not a week or more. Whatever information she has to tell us will hold until then."

"Could she be pregnant?" Hermione asked, thinking back to her knowledge of what the Death Eaters did. She was afraid to find out the answer.

"Not anymore" Poppy muttered angrily. "She was about three months along before the monsters got to her though." Stroking Bela's forehead, she paused for a moment "After what they did to her, I don't know that she'll ever be able to have a child again."

"Again? You mean she's given birth before?" Hermione said, surprised. She hadn't thought of Bela as much older than a student and never imagined her to have a family.

"Yes, at least twice, maybe three times judging by the scarring." Poppy said. "Thank Merlin; it gave her something to fight for."

"Yes." Hermione agreed, angrier than she could put into words. This girl, lying on the table should never have been there. None of us should have to be here she thought to herself angrily. This girl should be at home with her family, not fighting in a war where there are no survivors. Stalking away she broke into a run, wanting nothing more than to get to her rooms.

Slamming the door behind her all the anger and pain she had been feeling over the past few days exploded forth as she took in her own rooms. Everything was ruined. The bed had been over turned and set ablaze. The dresser was in pieces throughout the room. None of her clothes were usable, and her papers, quills and ink were scattered on the ground. Shifting some of the wreckage to the side, she broke out in a sob as she looked at the shattered box that had carried her treasures from the magical world to the muggle world and back again. Her prefect pin was missing; her acceptance letter had FILTHY MUDBLOOD slashed across it. Her picture, the only picture she had remaining of her and her boys, was in tatters, torn into pieces and spat upon.

Lost in her rage, she grabbed blindly, throwing things and screaming out in her rage. "Not enough" Screamed on the inside, the rage burning within her still ablaze. Throwing open her door she walked straight into Severus. "Get off me!" She screamed, when he reached to grab her. "Don't lay a hand on me!" She cried as his grip on her just got tighter.

"Do you really think I'm going to let you rush off in this state?" He asked her. "The gardens thought it safe to come back but that doesn't mean there aren't traps or other dangers. That doesn't mean you couldn't get lost in your rage and wander around the back part of the caves until you dropped from exhaustion." He easily held her contained, which infuriated her even more as she twisted and turned trying to break free. What she didn't notice was that each twist and turn just got her more ensnared within his grasp, until she was heaving in anger against his chest having difficulty breathing. Restrained and lacking oxygen, her anger quickly faded away, leaving only the ashes of her fury inside her, and the hopelessness she felt would over take her. Closing her eyes to fight back the tears, she calmed her breathing and started noticing just how close she was to him. His arms were wrapped tight around, her head was tucked under his chin and she could hear his heart breathing through his robes. It relaxed her, and her hyperventilated breathing fading into slow, calmer breaths. She noticed he smelt horrible, a combination of the smoke from the library, and the salves and potions he had used on Bela, mixed with the coppery smell of blood.

"Please let me go." She said, quietly desperate to distance herself from the smell. When he released her she stepped away, grateful the nausea from the smells was subsiding but also missing the comforting beat, beat-beatof his heart. Looking anywhere but at him, she worked hard to remain calm, and eventually asked the question she had been dreading. "How did the others make out?"

"Not very well." He answered. "Most of the rooms have been severely damaged. The runes kept them out of some rooms like the Potions Laboratories, but by and large there has been significant damage. The runes did do something more as well, however. Some of the Death Eaters entered into certain rooms and found they could not leave them. Others were attacked by the castle itself. Of the Death Eaters we found, four were dead and two were alive." He said, watching her carefully.

"Who?" She asked

"Crabbe and Goyle Sr.'s, along with Rosier and McNair were killed. Lucius Malfoy and a boy we haven't yet identified were captured." He said, doing his best to keep his voice even and not show his glee at the thought of Lucius behind bars.

"Good" she said roughly, looking at the ruin around her. "What about our people?" She asked, afraid for what had happened to the others.

"Of the four that were missing, Bela was recovered alive, as you know. Ashby was killed, rather quickly it appears; a small mercy but a mercy none the less. Lyle is missing, we assume dead, but possible prisoner. It appears he is the one that took down McNair." He paused for a moment, and she knew the worst was to come. "Molly Weasley is dead. She bled out from several wounds inflicted upon her body."

"She deserved the most mercy of us all." Hermione said bitterly, no longer holding back the tears she had been fighting at the news of Molly's gruesome death.

"There is more" Severus said, after a moment's silence. "The Death Eaters left some surprises in some of the rooms. Another group was lost when they entered a room with a trap in it; they disabled it in their dying breaths and saved many others. Of that group, one was an operative of Neville's, one was from Sweden, and one was a new recruit of Harry's; you would not know them." Taking a breath he continued, "Lucius put up a fight as we captured him. He cursed Arthur Weasley. Avada Kedavra. It was quick, and compassionate in a way, and some small comfort can be taken that he died along with Molly." Severus finished.

"Nothing about this is merciful." She whispered bitterly to herself, loud enough that she knew he could hear. "The only merciful thing will be the end of this goddamn war." At that she stood up, gathered herself and walked back into her room, anxious to put the bed to rights and abandon herself to sleep.

Waking up the following morning it took a moment for the reason why her room was such a wreck to come back to her. After a blissful moment's peace it came upon her in waves; first the party, then the missing, seeing the state of the caves, caring for Bela's broken body in the stacks, hearing of Molly and Arthur's deaths. At that, her stomach gave a lurch, and if it weren't for the fact she hadn't eaten in nearly a day and a half she would be seeing what she had most recently ingested. Groaning slightly she felt mildly comforted by the warm presence of crookshanks against her side. "Hey Crooks." She said affectionately. Standing and stretching, she made her way to the bathroom. Destroyed as well she thought sadly. The porcelain tub had a large crack which neatly cleaved it in two, with what must be the broken pieces of the toilet and vanity lying in the bottom of it. The sink was pulled way from the wall and there were chucks dug out of the rock. Walking back into her room she grabbed her wand and began the task of putting things right again.

Three hours later here rooms were back to a semblance of normality; her ruined robes were transfigured into something serviceable albeit plain, and only smelt slightly smoky. Finally, after she had charmed the comforter for the seventh time and settled on a light blue, she could think of no other reason to remain in her rooms. Steeling herself against what was coming, she made her way up to the main meeting room.

She did not encounter a soul on her way. Looking around, she truly saw that the caves were in ruins. Everywhere she looked, paintings were shredded, walls had deep gashes and chunks broken out of them, ceilings had partially collapsed. Entering the meeting room, she couldn't suppress the cry of anguish that rose up within heart at the sight of the room. Settling her gaze on the table, she saw that it too had been burnt, and the "King Arthur" table was little more than scorched ruins now, its chairs scattered about the room in pieces. Worse of all were the walls; and the paintings. Ron, Ginny. she moaned silently. All the portraits that had been so meticulously painted of the fallen comrades had been burned or torn.

"Don't worry." Harry said, coming up behind her, putting his hand on her back and leading her to one of the rickety chairs that had been brought in. Leaning down to look her in the eye he said "No one was in a portrait that was destroyed. It seems they stayed one step ahead of the Death Eaters. We haven't lost them; we just have to wait for them to come back."

"Please tell me we're going to get them for this Harry." She said, and edge of desperation in her voice.

"We will, Hermione." He said, grabbing her hand and squeezing it tightly. "We will". Comforted by the fierceness in his voice she asked the other question she had been wondering.

"What happens now?" She looked around the room at the people that had gathered. There had been some in the room as she entered, as a far off corner of her mind had noted, but now there was a large crowd, looking to Harry to see what to do. Their Leader. She reminded herself again, having fallen into the pattern of seeing him as his teenage self once again.

"Now we get through this day." Harry said gently, standing up and bringing her with him to the front of the room. Turning to the crowd, he began speaking to them in a voice everyone could here, and none could forget. "The past few days have been some of the worst in recent times." Looking around the room his eyes came to rest on Neville. "We have all lost people'" he said, and her eyes flicked involuntarily to the remainder of the Weasley clan. Looking at the five of them gathered tightly around each other she realized with a shock that they were all that was left; the nine that she had known had been pared down by four. As Harry continue talking she fell into the habit Severus had warned her against so fervently those few nights ago in the alcove at the party. Looking at Draco, Neville, and Harry, she saw only Ron, Pavarti and all the other classmates of their year that had died before their time. So many people she thought sadly, thinking of her years at Hogwarts and the good times they had had. Coming back to Harry's speech, she heard him say, "Spend today with your loved ones." Taking a deep breath she saw his eyes blinking rapidly to keep back the tears. "Meet back here at sunset, for the memorial service of those lost. Tomorrow," he said, balling his hands into tight fists, his body shaking with supped rage and sadness, "Tomorrow we plan our counter attack."

At that everyone made their was to their chosen family, and split off in different directions. When Harry put his hand on her back to lead her to the Weasley's she said "No, Harry."

"What?" Harry asked, giving her a concerned look.

"You go, she smiled sadly. "I just want to wander around. I promise not to disappear" She said at his continued look.

"It's not that Hermione" he said, "I know you're back, fully and truly back; but I have noticed how much time you spend by yourself. It's not you."

"But it is me" She said, looking him straight in the eye. "It is me now." She emphasized the final word, hoping that by drawing it out it would make him understand. Thankfully it did.

"Okay" He said, "I'll see you tonight." With a quick pat on her shoulder, he made his way to the Weasley's and was gone.

Leaving the Meeting Room she found herself walking about aimlessly; the garden still felt too tainted a place to be, and if she went to the Library she'd either break down at the sight of it in pieces or break down imagining Bela's torment. Continuing walking, her mind was made up for her when she entered the Potions Lab. Entering, she felt a calming peace sweep over her. These rooms had been untouched, and in them she could pretend the five days since Halloween had never happened. Walking to the stores, she pulled down the ingredients for the next potion she had been planning on making.

"What are you doing here?" She heard Severus ask from behind her.

"I'm making a potion" She replied, searching for the blixliy-root juice.

"Don't bother preparing that" he said, gesturing to the healing potion she had been intending to begin. "I finished all the stores we'll need of it several hours ago."

"Very well then." She responded, turning around and waiting for direction. "What would you suggest?"

"We will need more Twitchells Balm." He said, walking overt to the shelved cauldrons ands pulling down several of varying sizes and materials. The balm is a powerful restorative she remembered. It's useful with extremely deep cuts and extensive, severe burns. It could have person with third degree burns over 90 of their body up and walking in under a week. The downside, of course, she added in her mind Is that it is an extremely difficult, demanding base creation, requiring at least two people to carefully monitor 5 cauldrons simultaneously over several hours.

"Right" She said quickly, and turning around, began pulling down and prepping the first of the balms 34 ingredients.

They worked in companionable silence for a while, before Severus took a moments rest to ask "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be out with the rest of the mourners?"

"Perhaps." She answered. "But who's to say I am not with a mourner, regardless of his rather dubious actions?"

"Molly Weasley was a wonderful woman." He said, stirring cauldron #5 gently.

"Yes she was," Hermione agreed. "She will be missed." She said somberly. "But I have done more than enough mourning lately, and haven't the patience for any more." At his look, she continued. "I will miss Molly and Arthur of course," she said, pounding the mixture in front of her a bit harder than was necessary. "But I wasn't family before I ran, at least not in the way that Harry was; and I'm certainly not family now. I'd rather avoid their reminiscences of the past years." Putting the doughy substance into cauldron #2 she moved on to cauldron #3 and began stirring the gelatinous liquid. "I am back in this world," she said, stirring viciously, "And I belong in this world, but I don't yet belong to this world. Do you understand?"

"More than you could know," He said, adding another ingredient to cauldron #4.

Three hours later they had finally finished combining the last two cauldrons. Now the balm had only to simmer until the proper thickness was achieved. "It is time for the memorial." Snape said looking at the timepiece built into the workroom wall, as he adjusted the flame of the fire. "This will keep until we return."

"Very well." Hermione said. She walked to the door of the classroom and retrieved one of the coats she left there. It was meant to be used of hazardous potions, but it would be sufficient to keep her warm outside, plus the comforting smell of the potions would help her get through this night.

AUTHORS NOTE...

I have a horrible memory, as any of my friends will attest to. But I still remember the day in my graphic design class then the first chapter of this story popped into my head. There was a sub that day, who had no idea what we were supposed to be doing, and probably imagined I was working on a school paper. Or was happy at least that I was using Microsoft Word. I wasn't playing games or acting up like the rest of the class. The teacher was out sick for a week, and in that week I wrote the first three chapters to this story. I cherish this story, and the ideas that I had at one time to take it to it's finish. It sat abandoned for a year or so after I graduated in 04, and when I went back to it I tried desperately to capture the essence of the story that I once felt. I tried, and I think I did an ok job. But I don't feel comfortably about just being ok.

I hate the idea of abandoning a work, and just leaving it unfinished in the ether. In fact I still visit the stories that I loved in my youth that were abandoned, such as Pawn to Queen and Last Tango in Paris. When I was younger I swore I would never do that. But it's been 4 years since I really worked on anything to do with this. And it's been 6 since the last time I truly 'connected'. A lot has happened in those year, graduating, attending (but not graduating) college, getting married, having a baby that's now a toddler. This story, and all the other ones that I wrote for FanFiction will always hold a place in my heart. But they aren't me anymore, and to try to pretend otherwise just comes across as empty to me. FFN saved my life as a teen, it gave me a place to survive and thrive in a world that I was failing in. But that's not the case anymore.

So here's what I would like to do... to anyone who has read this story (or will in the future) and would like to have an ending... you end it. I welcome any continuation from any writer, because I feel very bad for leaving my characters in this state. The only thing I ask is to send me a message and let me know, because as much as I no longer feel able to write the work myself, I would still love to have a resolution... something I think all readers deserve.