Dislaimer: Saiyuki's not mine

Genre: Angst (I know it's d-day for love but 1001 apologies. I'm in depressed mode so I can't help feeling angsty)

Warnings: Implied yaoi (hmm…how did I get here?) Title is misleading.

*Peace*

He awoke to the gentle rhythmic breathing near his ear, a delightful music that he had been accustomed to for a couple of months now. Slowly he opened his eyes, dragging himself out of yet another blissful slumber and slanted a gaze to the man beside him. A soft smile touched his lips at the sight of the beautiful blonde sleeping, his facial expression calm and gentle, so unlike his waking persona.

Ever so gently so as not to disturb the sleeping man, Hakkai turned on his right to get a better view. Their faces were only an inch apart and Hakkai could not resist leaning forward to bestow a feathery kiss upon the blonde's brows. Sanzo stirred slightly but apparently, still laden with sleep. The slight action had upturned his face invitingly towards the brunette, who could not resist imparting another kiss, this time on the firm set lips.

Pulling back, he found himself caught in the action by a pair of amethysts that were still hazy. Unperturbed, Hakkai eased into a cheery smile and winked. "Sumimasen."

The word provoked the blonde brows into a frown and the violet eyes regained their fiery sharpness. "Sumimasen?" Whatever happened to the customary 'ohayo gozaimassu' greeting?

Hakkai nodded, his ruffled brown bangs falling forward and hiding half of his face. "For disturbing your sleep with my kisses," he answered easily.

Sanzo snorted and turned on his back, looking up to the ceiling. "Betsuni. It's not like I didn't have a good sleep or something–"

At that, Hakkai chuckled.

"And..." Sanzo continued, ignoring the interruption, "I'm not the one doing the driving–"

Another round of chuckle escaped the brunette at the unintentional pun.

"Urusai!" the blonde growled in annoyance, casting a sidelong glance to the brunette. But that only got the brunette giggling even more. Among the things Sanzo hated most was being laughed at and even though Hakkai was no stranger to him, it still irate him. In one swift move, he rolled atop the brunette and crushed his lips fiercely against Hakkai's.

The green eyes widened slightly but relaxed soon after as the owner began immersing himself in the furious kiss. The feel of Sanzo's smooth heated body against his own send delicious shocks of shivers throughout, the sensation of it still felt like the first time. Hakkai circled his arms around the blonde and hung on desperately – as if not wanting to let go, as if clinging to his own life.

"That'll teach you to laugh at me!" Sanzo muttered after pulling back from the kiss. He gazed down at the brunette who was trying to catch his breath, lips swollen and deathly red and eyes closed shut. It still amazed Sanzo to see the blissful expression Hakkai always had after they kissed or made love. Never had he thought he could be the cause of such a manifestation.

"You're my everything, Sanzo..."

The words dropped onto Sanzo like a ton of bricks, body and heart stiffening and he found himself unable to breathe properly. The lids fluttered opened to reveal the hidden emeralds, Togenkyo's most prized gems. But their beauty and worth failed to awe the blonde, who had found his life beat again and was then frowning deeply. Rolling off the brunette, he groused quietly, "I thought we had an agreement."

Hakkai remained silent. Yes, they had an agreement. Matters such as commitment or love were not to be discussed or brought up. Their relationship was only confined to the bed. They only held claim to the other's body, but not the other's mind, heart or soul. That what was they had agreed on.

No, not really. The truth was, that was what Sanzo insisted on and what Hakkai was forced to accept.

"Gomen. I don't know what came over me," the brunette expressed.

Sanzo merely snorted before getting up to a sitting position. "I'm going to bathe first. Make sure the idiotic-duo is up." Without bothering to hear a reply, he got off the bed and grabbed a towel from the back of a chair. Hiding his lower half with it, he then strode to the door and went out without a backward glance.

"Gojyo, Goku...it's time to get up!"

Gojyo let out a huge yawn but instead of getting up, he proceeded to hug the bolster even tightly. Goku, on the other hand, was drooling even more as he groggily asked the same question every time he was stirred from sleep. "Is it breakfast already?"

Hakkai sighed as he pulled the bolster effortlessly from Gojyo and shook the golden-eyed boy gently but firmly. "Come on, you two...wake up. Or Sanzo will personally see to it that you'll never wake up again, if that's what you want. Now that the mission's over and we are on our way back home, you know that the possibility of Sanzo doing that is rather high," Hakkai coaxed.

Needless to say, the coaxing worked. Both Gojyo and Goku instantly sat up, rubbing their eyes simultaneously. The half breed let out another huge yawn. "Uwaa...I couldn't get a decent sleep, you know!"

Hakkai raised an eyebrow. "Eh, why is that?"

A mistake on the youkai's part but it was too late when he realized it. Gojyo had fixed onto him a meaningful gaze. "Oh, I don't know. It could be the noises coming from the next room that seemed to pop up every thirty minutes or so. Did you get enough sleep, Hak~kai?"

The brunette coughed slightly. "I manage somehow," he answered quickly and turned, just as a red-hot blush was creeping up his cheeks. Behind him, the redhead – the only one who knew about the relationship between Sanzo and him, was booming with laughter.

"Eh, what noises? I hear no noises," Goku piped in, only to be hit on the head by Gojyo. "Ite! Whatcha do that for, kuso kappa?"

"This is a talk between adults, bakasaru. You won't understand even if I describe the details to you."

Hakkai whirled round, frowning at the half breed. "That's enough bantering, you two. It's good that you're fully awake now. Please learn to wake up on your own. I won't be around forever –"

"Oi, oi...what nonsense are you talking about?" Gojyo cut in harshly.

"Yea...why do you say such things, Hakkai?" Goku agreed.

As if snapping out of a trance, the youkai blinked. "Aaa...sumimasen ne. I don't know what came over me. Excuse me, I've got to get ready. Have some shopping to do."

Both Gojyo and Goku stared quizzically at the brunette who was hurrying out of the room before exchanging looks. "What's wrong with him?" Goku asked as he turned his attention back to the door.

The half breed did not answer. Instead, he narrowed his eyes as a weird feeling began unfurling in the deep pits of his stomach…

Walking down the streets alone gave Hakkai the chance to contemplate about his sudden outburst to Sanzo that morning. What had prompted him to say as such? True, he had not liked the agreement in the first place but he was not going to sacrifice his love for the sake of his pride, his ego. The fact that Sanzo was willing to share his bed with him was ample proof that the blonde did have some deep feelings for him. Sanzo was not a man of words; he was a man of action.

Hakkai knew he could not expect much from Sanzo. Sanzo would never be upfront with his feelings, would never confess to having feelings in the first place. Yes, he would admit he had weaknesses but feelings? They did not exist in the first place.

But somehow, Hakkai was not angry with the fact. He had accepted it, accepted the fact he would never hear words of love from the blonde. So his outburst that morning...he had no reason to regret it. At least, he had admitted his feelings once, and probably for the last time, than never to admit at all.

By some strange force, he stopped in his tracks then and turned to his right. There was a newspaper vendor and Hakkai remembered he had to get Sanzo his morning papers.

"Ohayo," he greeted the young lady tending the store.

"Ohayo," she replied warmly.

Hakkai picked out Sanzo's favorite source of news, noting idly the date. It was strange but somehow, Hakkai felt an affiliation with it. Shrugging off the strange feeling, he paid the young lady and resumed on his way.

A sudden cry for help pierced the air. Hakkai instantly whirled, in time to see a group of masked men running out of a grocery shop towards his direction, each had a sack slung over one shoulder. It was obviously a robbery but to do it at such an early hour, the men were either crazy or desperate.

Putting down the bag of goods on the ground, Hakkai straightened up then and stood in the middle of the street, directly in the way of the robbers. The men began screaming for Hakkai to move out of the way, cursing and swearing at the same time but Hakkai merely smiled as he began cracking his knuckles. He was not about to use his chi – the men were civilians after all, but he could use his seemingly gentle but effective physical moves.

One of the masked men lunged forward, waving a long dagger but Hakkai easily evaded. Clasping one hand lightly over the man's wrist, Hakkai then twisted it to the back and pushed then man down to the ground, who began screaming. His wrist was broken. Pulling off the mask, Hakkai gasped at the sight of pointed ears and dark markings.

"Youkai?" With Gyuumaoh's resurrection stopped and Gyokumen dead, the Minus Wave was no more which meant youkais were supposed to have regained their humanity.

Hakkai was not allowed to ponder more as one robber after another lunged at him. The youkai with the broken wrist watched on in pain, at the same time addressing Hakkai's thoughts.

"You're a youkai too, aren't you? But you hide your identity with your limiters. We wanted to live as our own selves but humans do not trust us anymore. They refused to sell us anything, they threw us out of their restaurants and we are starving. We had no choice but to steal. We are just trying to survive."

Hakkai successfully brought the last masked youkai to his knees. But his thoughts were disturbed by what the other youkai had said; that he hid his identity with his limiters. Even before the Minus Wave plagued Togenkyo, he had been wearing his limiters. He was no more like a wolf in a sheep's clothing. Why did he choose to remain in his human appearance?

Because he did not want to be reminded of his sin, his lost love. And if he had stick to his youkai guise, would he have been able to tag along on the mission with Gojyo, Goku and Sanzo? And would he end up with Sanzo in the same bed given his youkai guise?

"Hakkai!"

Hakkai stiffened at the familiar voice calling out his name. He turned slowly and saw the only person he had allowed into his heart after Kanan's death running towards him. His eyes widened as he mouthed the name he held dear to his heart. "Sanzo..."

"Look out behind you!"

Before the words could register in his mind, Hakkai felt a sharp pain piercing through him from the back. He felt a slight dizziness then and his vision blurring and felt his legs buckling under him. And down he slumped, expecting to meet the hard ground but there was a sudden flash of yellow and he felt a pair of arms gathering him into their warmth.

"Teme!" he heard Sanzo yelled before a couple of familiar ringing shots from the Smith and Wesson. And there was a loud cry of death, which Hakkai assumed belonged to the one who stabbed him. "The rest of you, get lost before I waste all my bullets on your pathetic lives!"

"Sanzo..." the brunette called out as he raised a hand to cup the side of the blonde's face.

"Hush, don't speak. I'm going to carry you to a doctor –"

"There's no doctor in this village, Sanzo...only a shaman," Hakkai cut in softly. The pain in his back was scorching him, burning him alive but for Sanzo's sake, he was not going to show it. He had to show Sanzo his strength.

"Kuso! We'll go to another village or town then. I'll get somebody to call for Gojyo and Goku –"

Hakkai moved his hand to cup over Sanzo's lips. "The next town is two days' away. Sanzo, it's ok. I don't want to go anywhere. I want to be here in your arms. My time's up anyway..."

"Urusai naa..." Sanzo growled, his voice shaking but not in anger. He removed Hakkai's hand from his mouth and brought it down to his heart. "You're starting to talk nonsense. Stop it. Your time's not up... I won't let it!"

The anxious beat of Sanzo's heart was as clear as the morning sky and Hakkai smiled. "I've got a short life line, remember? Goku only managed to extent it for a short while. But I was still glad as I had you during that period of extension. I couldn't ask for a better last few months of my life."

"Hakkai...yameru naa..." Sanzo croaked, his voice on the verge of breaking up. His robe was heavily soaked with the brunette's blood and he could feel it seeping through his bodysuit and through his own skin. "Hakkai..." he whispered softly as he hung his head, eyes shielded by the bangs.

Everything was starting to melt into darkness, even Sanzo. Hakkai was familiar with the feeling but unlike that time, he could no longer cheat death. He knew his soul was going to be claimed soon.

"When I left you this morning, I felt so uneasy." Hakkai found himself swept by the drone of Sanzo's deep voice. "I could sense something was going to happen, that something was wrong...but I didn't imagine it would be like this. If I had known..."

Hakkai felt something wet sliding down his cheeks and wondered whether it was his own tears or Sanzo's. He opened his mouth to speak but felt a feathery brush against his lips. He wanted to return the kiss but he seemed to have been drained out of his energy.

"Forgive me...my love..."

The soft whisper coursed through Hakkai; the words echoed by every single vein, by every drop of blood. Suddenly the darkness began giving way to brightness and Hakkai began to convulse. His soul would no longer be his but before the deed was done, he would have the words he had wanted to say for a long time unleashed.

"Aish-aishiteru yo...S-Sanzo..."

With those words, Cho Hakkai was finally at peace with himself.

A friend, a brother, a lover

Cho Hakkai

September 21st – February 14th

= owari =

Ya, it's lame and cruel. SIGH...but it's all in the spirit of V-day. Erm, well...u noe what I mean. Ja!