Disclaimer: I don’t own The Legend of Zelda. But 4 of the Chosen belong to me.

Author’s notes: Just so you don’t criticise me if you review this story – this is a humorous attempt. So that means the characters may be slightly eccentric and well, out of character. Don’t tell me Rauru isn’t a stiff old man like he is in OoT. He’s meant to be a little crazy in this story. Also, the plot may be a little woollen, but it does become clearer as the story progresses. And if you don’t like OCs, well, there are at least 4 of them in this story. So now you know.

Sorry about that rant. I just had to let you know about these things. (in my other Zelda stories, I’ve had way too many criticisms over stuff like this that I didn’t properly explain in the notes.)

Prologue: An Overreacting Sage

“HYRULE IS DOOMED!”

The empty chamber echoed with the shrill cry from the lone Sage. Hair was being torn out, and the walls seemed to hear the despair of the atmosphere in the room.

An overreacting Sage, huh?

This certain character went by the name of Rauru. He seldom gets emotional, so when he says Hyrule is doomed, it MEANS Hyrule is doomed.

Now is the time to panic if you live in Hyrule. Go on then, panic.

Oh, wait... you don’t live in Hyrule, do you? You’re just here for the story. Anyway, allow me to continue.

So, Rauru. The Light Sage. Tearing his hair out. Hyrule is doomed, so on and so forth. Rauru stood alone facing nothing but the glowing medallions on the floor of the Chamber of Sages, his eyes slightly bloodshot. Something major had happened that night in the land of Hyrule. Like it usually does. No big surprise, right?

I think you’ve joined us a little too late. The Big Event has just happened. But you already knew who was the culprit, obviously.

That big mean Gerudo with the pointy ears and radioactive skin. Ganondorf Dragmire, The King Of All That Is Evil. You know the guy. Actually, I’d be very alarmed if you did. Moving on with the story...

Where was I? Oh yeah – Something major had happened that night in the land of Hyrule. And Rauru knew about it, all right. The bald spots on his head were evidence enough for anybody.

“How could we let this happen?” Rauru spoke aloud to the silence of the Chamber, his words bouncing back to his ears as a chattering agony. They were mocking him. He could tell.

“We need a hero for this job,” Rauru said to the walls. “I can’t do it alone. My powers will be no match for Ganondorf, especially since...” he shuddered, not wanting to recall the incident (don’t worry, you’ll find out about it later).

“But... one hero is not enough for the job either,” he continued, a deep frown creasing his worn face. “No, I think it is time to call upon the Crest of Hyrule.

“Then will The Chosen truly arrive, and help me in this terrible new wave of darkness.”

He lifted his arms, and the room faded to white. The image of the Hyrule Crest, a glowing red bird, wings outstretched, Triforce emblazoned above it, seemed to shimmer before the despairing Sage’s eyes.

A voice, deep and commanding, boomed:

“Call upon me in times of need, ancient creator of Hyrule. What is your desire?”

Unperturbed (as he was a heavenly Sage and far too used to these weird things to be alarmed), Rauru blurted out the dilemma. Now here’s the bit you’ve been waiting for.

“I desire to call upon the five Chosen. The fate of the world now rests with them. Ganondorf Dragmire has sealed the powers of the Sages, not including myself, into his own undeserving hand. The Triforce of Power Ganondorf commands is the prison to the Sage’s spirits.

“I call upon not just the Hero of Time for this crisis, but the other four who are renowned in their homeland. This is too big a job for one.”

Rauru bowed to the large crest floating in the middle of the Chamber, and there was silence. Would the Crest allow for the long lost Chosen to be called again after all these years?

Rauru could tell the Crest wanted to question how this tragedy had happened. It knew better. Sacred things such as this weren’t allowed to ask questions. Cause and solution. That was their only concern. But Rauru could just hear that booming voice now: “Rauru, you fool, how could you let this happen? How could Ganondorf steal seven Sages’ powers at the same time?” And then it would laser beam him to death and eat him for dinner. Well, it actually didn’t have any eyes, and Rauru was pretty sure it didn’t eat, especially not Sages.

The silence was pressing in on his eardrums. But it was over as soon as the throbbing started. And the answer was clear from the booming voice of the Crest:

“The Chosen shall be awakened.”

Rauru sighed in relief.

“OVERREACTOR!” the Crest boomed at him.